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90 DAY: The Single Life 0109 "Down and Dirty" (Patreon)

Published:
2021-04-17 03:28:03
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2026-06
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Content

Colt and Vanessa worry that a scandalous past is complicating their future.

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PATREON We recap classic 90 Day, Netflix's dating shows, and just random stuff!

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Comments

Marisa Meno

I want the 5 minute Fleetwood Mac tangent Matt almost went on!

Lauren B.

Thanks to Mattie’s Honkey Tonkin’ Mix I understood the ATV and a dozen roses comment 😂

DJ Nightshade

I’ve gotta come at you guys about the Brittany thing, but only because y’all asked. Hear me out, and buckle up. I think some sprinklings of misogynoir are clouding your perception of what you’re seeing. I will start by saying I resonate with Brittany. As a black woman who is young and chooses to exhibit her sexuality, I see very clearly how the show has worked its misogynoir magic to portray her. Often when I hear you and others critique her there’s a theme of attacking her dichotomies. Because she is portrayed as sexual and enjoys being sexy the storyline doesn’t allow her ANY authentic vulnerability. So once she says she wants to be taken care of she suddenly can’t be independent and confident, she was critiqued for being confused about men in the past, yet now she’s outlining one SIDE she wants to see in a man and again you say she’s confused about what a man is. She didn’t say that’s what a man is, she said this is a side she wants to see of him. This is also made clear by the fact that she wants someone to be able to do get dirty because she likes that too! Why is she being dragged for outlining her desires in a partner? We all have sides we expect in a partner. It’s no different than Poodle taking a guy to a Broadway show to see if he appreciates it’s full glory, because that creative side matters to him. No one would come after you and say “why do you think all gay men need to like theater?” And you’d say “I don’t, I just wanted to see if we can enjoy it together.” I am also very much a dominant personality, and I do not take shit from men, I hate the concept of gender roles, I am very much the “strong woman” but NONE of that is relevant to the fact that I also like protective men with typically masculine tendencies. I can also want him to be emotionally intelligent. Unfortunately as a black woman we are not allowed vulnerabilities often, so if we want to let down our guard in a relationship and be vulnerable it’s only natural that we’d want a protector in those times. Being a black woman often means taking the masculine role every damn day, while also being expected to be feminine in the RIGHT way. For me it’s just a reprieve, it doesn’t mean I have rigid or toxic gender role expectations or that my strong, independent side isn’t legit. Also, because she was initially portrayed as VERY superficial, and high maintenance, with that comes the association of being dumb. So anytime she says what she wants, says who she is or what her perspectives are it’s automatically discredited because she’s into her image and because of some tactically edited portrayals of her essentially being a ho. Matt says she’s dumbing herself down, but the real question is, does she have a choice? Are black women allowed to be intelligent, attractive AND taken seriously? I can tell you, rarely. I live it. I know you two are not ones for the dichotomy of the Madonna and the Whore but that’s exactly what you’re upholding by refusing to consider other perspectives and consider her depth. I don’t mean any of this in a salty way, but frankly I’m tired of hearing that her confidence on IG isn’t real, or that it doesn’t match what we see on TV. Because that’s true for everyone. How many of these people are the same on TV as they are on social, how many people in real life are? Yet when it comes to her, she’s spoken of as if her agency and sense of self on social can’t possibly be real? Of course there are women and black women on TV who are horribly two faced and harmful, but that’s not Brittany. She’s not harming anyone by dating around, being open about it, and outlining what she expects for herself. I don’t know why you feel that her being confident and sexy on social media means she’s MUST be good at dating, and she MUST have good game. Society tells black women to have self-respect and then when Brittany works to build that, y’all and many others are literally sitting here telling her she’s not doing it right. That’s our perpetual experience. Poodle you literally said “she can’t back it up,” as if she needs to back it up. She’s not “queen of binaries,” the media is king at portraying women and minorities as binaries. A mentally complex, attractive black woman has to be palatable for white approval, but women like Angelina Jolie, Amber Heard, or even Yara get adjectives like “vixen, mysterious, femme fatale, intriguing, enticing.” With Brittany you used the words “interesting to observe.” I won’t lie there have been several episodes I’ve had to fast forward Brittany coverage because it causes me anxiety. I live black trauma everyday and I can’t help but feel hopeless and attacked when two very well educated and aware people can participate in misogynoir. If that’s how educated people see black women, I’m like how are we ever going to be seen and heard by uneducated people? I hope this at least provides some context of what I suspect might be going on with her, and sorry for the essay!

Jackie Meyers

What is a man to me?? Ummm I’m a person with different thoughts and feelings. It’s not just one thing and my mind changes all the time so there is no answer for this question..

Jennifer Moseley

Guys, if you haven’t I implore you check out Darlene Love singing River Deep mountain High on Letterman. It is amazing. I watch it any time I am depressed questioning if there’s beauty in the world. Obviously, I was reminded of this when y’all were discussing Mattie’s three wheeler playlist!

Amy Sillar

Question: Is Australia really the only country that does the weird line dance to “Nutbush city limits?” (Its always a dance floor filler at weddings!) Also you’re on the money with big Ed. I had to really process his actions. Like they have as much chemistry as two dead fish. It doesn’t feel like it’s taking a natural romantic course. Its being rushed and overthought. Rather than just seeing what develops, Ed just panics about being friend zoned and not getting a kiss. There are social and visual queues when someone wants to kiss you (and I get there are some people respectfully on the spectrum who struggle with social cues but I don’t believe Ed is one of them) you know, holding eye contact. Looking at lips. He just has his own agenda and just plans to get what he wants over just letting things develop naturally and just relaxing. Dude has zero chill. Grab her head and just go for it right? (Which is not okay) I had a guy do that to me once and it was so awkward and uncomfortable. When you’re not expecting it, it’s so jarring.

Kelly Kelly

Not all babies are cute, I will die on this hill

Whit

Hey fellow dick pigs. Check out Wonho’s Instagram and prepare yourself to be blessed. As a bonus, his music is good too. As Poodle says, I would beg for it. BTW Wonho is 28yrs old and also has a YouTube . He posts workout videos 🤤

Leigh Garrison

Y'all and your age talk cracks me up! Poodle, I graduated HS at 16...I feel ya!

Caitlin Scagnelli

Liz's response to Ed's violation is a perfect example of a *fawn* response to trauma. I can see my old self in Liz and my heart hurt watching myself as she apologized to Ed for *his* behavior. Whew. Rough episode. KGQs