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The Limits of the Power, and a bunch of rambling (Patreon)

Published:
2020-06-02 07:05:51
Imported:
2026-06
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Hey everybody. Chiming in here with a fresh commission for you, The Limits of the Power. A tiny forewarning for those of you who don't spreche the Deutsch that you may want to have a German to English translator open when you read this. It is absolutely not necessary to read/enjoy, but if you're like me and it bugs you not to get everything, there's your forewarning. For my money, there's something fun about a nice foreign accent, and since German's the only language I even have remote fluency in, that's where I went. (I believe this marks my first ever monetization of my German minor. Yay?) Next up, finishing up work on my charity story for covid19 stuff, as well as what may be the conclusion or at least penultimate line in Living the Dream. Then I think we'll get to work on Character Creation book 2, and give dear Chanda a little closure in her loser-ish situation. Lots on the table, and all of it looking forward to.

If you're not looking for ruminations from your smut dealer, feel free to download your preferred format and enjoy. If you are... man. I hope you are all OK out there. It's royally fucked that I'm once again camping out on the couch for 5 months, this time to care for my mom's dog who just had the same surgery mine did a year and a half back; carpal tunnel has been kicking my ass; I had to cancel my first ever international trip that I'd been planning for months; and I'm trying to help my mom cope with the gradual (but not gradual enough) loss of her eyesight that she's been unable to do much about because of the corona situation and all the delays it imposes on everything; yet in spite of that, my "problems" are a joke compared to a ton of the people I know, and the tons and tons of people I don't. It's a daily project in mental health maintenance to remind myself that it's OK to feel down about my situation, and I suppose I bring it up so if you're facing the same "fluff" kinds of problems I am, you don't make them even worse.

As for the people with the real issues... folks, I'm not exaggerating when I say I lose sleep thinking about you and hoping you're doing well. I'll see so-and-so deleted a pledge and wonder if it's just because I'm not productive enough (and no hard feelings for anybody who's been in that mental place!), or if it's someone whose livelihood has been disrupted and this is the obvious place to start tightening the belt. I think about the folks losing their jobs and trying to subsist on the paltry unemployment payments (if your state didn't forcibly render you ineligible), and all the essential folks subjecting themselves to hazards to get by, grudgingly or nobly or however you're making it through it. Then this past week since the murder of George Floyd and the ensuing chaos, and I just hope you're... I don't even know. That you're OK, I guess? Or maybe that you're where and how you're choosing to be (and that you get to make that choice), that you're the pilot of your journey and not roadkill on someone else's. There's so many goddamn victims out there right now. Victims of poverty and injustice and discrimination and criminality and a bullshit healthcare system and the lack of a safety net and plain old bad fucking luck. And I know "victim" isn't a word everyone is comfortable, so pardon my semantic approach. 

But I am so worried about you all, and I know for most of you, even if there's not much to be done for it. Which also feels pretty powerless. What I really want is to be able to do and say so much more for everybody to inspire and validate and empower and support, especially you folks who so generously help me live my life. (And yes, to listen, because lord knows my ass sure doesn't come close to having a fraction of all the answers.) It doesn't help that I'm an incredibly passionate person about all these goings-on, and those of you who share that trait may well know what it's like to bite your lip when you have all these things you want to say because Feelings and Happenings. But in my capacity as your Ice Bear, the best I can really do is toss a little distraction your way and give you a chance to think of anything but everything for a little while, so that's what I'm gonna keep doing.

I hope so much you're as well as you can be out there, everybody. And if you're not, I guess just know that I care, and I'm sorry, and that you're loved and important just for being a person. As somebody once said, if you're going through hell, keep going.

Comments

WDB

That was a nicely twisty story! A fun burst of smut with a clever conceit. Also, my Twitch book club is called "The Limits of the Power: How Restrictions Empower the Writing Of Ice Bear", so expect a letter from my legal team. I'm sorry to hear about everything you're going through. I'm glad you're there for your mom, and I'm sorry for what's happening to her. I'm sorry about your carpal tunnel. I'm sorry about you missing your big trip. It's awful. You're totally justified in feeling bad about all that, even if other people are suffering. There's a terrifying amount of suffering to go around. It is, unfortunately, a limitless resource. Everything is pretty fucked. There was, in I think the Washington Post, a point made that America has had viral outbreaks before, America has had mass unemployment before, and America has had mass protesting before. We've never had it all at the same time, which makes things feel unbearable. Chicago's on nightly curfews. Driving around in the daytime, it's like the city is bracing for a hurricane. Everything's boarded up. And when you look online, it's a nightmare. It feels like we're at war, citizens being attacked by our own government. During the early stages of the coronavirus outbreak, there was this attempt to take our minds off of it, lose ourselves in entertainment. Now, it feels imperative to *not* do that, to really focus on what's happening in the world. It all feels irrevocably fucked. I run a business, and things have been a pretty 24-7 stress. We're doing about 30% the business we did last year at this time. My roommate is also my business partner, and he hurt his leg four weeks ago. He can't help out at the store, so I've been working every day. (It takes three times the work to make one-third the money, thanks to shelter-in-place policies.) And then I need to run errands for him, since he can barely walk. And then we needed to close down one of our stores, since the economics don't work anymore, so I've been spending a day a week trying to clear out that store by myself. And then that store got looted six times in one night, since the city-wide curfew meant that no one could go out and get it boarded up. We watched on the remote camera as people wandered in through the broken window, wandered out with armloads of stuff. And now we're wondering if the other store's going to get hit. We've had customers emailing, asking how we're doing. It's very kind, but I don't even have the mental bandwidth to deal with their concern. I have a line that I use on all of the emails, now. "I feel like I'm being physically and psychologically ground into paste." I'd like this to be the part where I say that entertainment matters, that it's a good distraction. It's not. Everything's broken, and it's literally getting worse by the day. I love that you're still writing. I love that you're able to do that. I'm happy to keep funding your art, and I'm glad it's a comfort. I hate that you're worried about your fans. I hate that a change in dollar amount stresses you out on their behalf. You don't deserve to feel responsible for us. It's incredibly sweet, but it honestly kind-of bums me out. I'm hanging in there. Reading over your recent troubles, I know I could have it worse. This past Saturday I had to drive my roommate to visit his mother, who was in the late-stages of Alzheimer's, so he could say goodbye before she passed. He was there with his dad and his siblings, and they all got to say goodbye. They had to leave before she passed. He was wrecked on the way back, thinking she'd be alone when she went. I told him that at least he got to be there with his family to say goodbye. That's more than some people get. Jesus, I don't know. I wish this could be a post where I tell you we're all doing great, don't worry, do some more TIOS shorts. (Do some more TIOS shorts, though, seriously. I got a concept burning up in my Google Docs if I ever get that monthly commision.) It's not, though. This was probably tough to read, I don't know. Things are bad, man. I'm very excited to stop feeling this way someday.

WDB

hey what if i talked about this story for a minute There's a... *slipperiness*, I guess, that I liked in this one. The status quo keeps changing, and each new setup takes a few paragraphs to fill you in. It's like trying to watch a video on your phone while you're walking. Disorienting, you know? I think that aspect worked well for the tone of the piece. Also, I dug the way it interrogated the Power Fantasy element of mind-control erotica. The way the character's desires quickly ramp up from I Don't Care About My Ex, to Well, to Hell Yes, to And What If I Also, it's like a template for the MD category on the EMCSA. There's this gradual erosion of responsibility, and it creates a fun feeling of danger. Great job on this little bite of smut!

ukyo_rulz

I didn’t find the story to be hot at all but it was interesting in a way that reminded me of the first Matrix movie. Specifically the scene where Oracle tells Neo not to worry about breaking the vase… which he promptly then breaks after reacting to her statement. Would Neo have broken the vase if she hadn’t said anything? Would Toby have kept making wishes if each successive wish hadn’t made fundamental changes to his personality - driving him to make further wishes? This was an interesting exploration, I think, of Jordan’s existential worry in TIOS that using power to make changes to yourself might erode whatever it is that makes you… you. By the end of the story it’s unclear if there’s anything left of whoever Toby originally was. It also showcases the reckless impulsiveness that many MC protagonists share as a personality trait. We see Toby making wishes willy-nilly without thinking things through, causing problems that he then tries to fix with more wishes which triggers a feedback loop. I think you need a bit of this to drive the plot forward and make things exciting, though there is a hilarious anime show called “Cautious Hero: The Hero Is Overpowered but Overly Cautious” that subverts this trope to great comedic effect. — I’m sorry to hear about the troubles people have been going through. Really makes me appreciate that despite some minor issues I had over the past couple of months I am, overall, relatively lucky. I was put on furlough for about 1.5 months but the state of emergency has been lifted where I live and I’ve gone back to work last week. Things are slowly going back to normal (or at least I hope so). These are tough times indeed and I just hope things get better soon.