[VIDEO] Where Was October's Mailer!? (Patreon)

All this really happened, precisely as depicted here!

The envelope boys and I worked very hard to get you guys an October mailer, preparing 3300 mailers with three pumps of Amazon Brand Funny Fart Prank Spray each (that's 9900 pumps total).

Unfortunately, despite auditioning a few brands of plastic baggy to find the most leakproof, several did leak in the mail sorting process, alarming the sorters and leading to a number of awkward conversations with postal authorities who initially did not understand why I'd be sending an intentionally unpleasant odor to my supporters & customers.

Amidst all this tumult, the mailers were destroyed.

Perhaps this was for the best. I promise I wasn't trying to gross everyone out with a terrible smell--I figured the scent would mostly dissipate by the time the mailers reached you all and I just wanted it to smell like something for those brave enough to open the baggy and take a whiff. But I guess the cumulative stench of all 3300 freshly-sprayed cards was too powerful for the post office to withstand and they revolted.

I have learned my lesson. If I ever try to send an odor again it will be a delightful one, not a fart one. And don't worry, something (odorless) will be entering everyone's mailbox soon to make up for October's missing mailer.