Musha Burui-ing into 2026! (Patreon)

Mushaburui-ing into 2026, who's with me?

It's ironic that the story I'm working on now for the new book takes place on a battlefield where the main character does a brief remembering the musha burui (武者震) he and his fellow samurai were feeling earlier that morning, before everything went south, and I just got some time alone and find myself in that same weirdly mixed state of abject fear, thrill, excitement, and anxiety.  

2025 started with the whole DVT thing. Things were touch and go for awhile. But then it kind of mellowed out. I finished another manuscript, the yōkai oracle cards came out, and I pitched another (dream) book idea and the publisher loved it.

But since October things went haywire again. I fell like I've exploded and I'm flailing about in all directions trying grab and snatch up the precious pieces I want to hold close and dear moving forward, while watching somberly and sadly as other pieces spin their wild trajectory away from me.

I'm not done yet. I'm still exploding as it were, so I don't know how its all going to end up, what the new me, new life, new year is going to look like. You should see my living room and bedroom. Explosion is the proper metaphor here!

Hence the musha burui feeling. That combination of nerves and panic of the unknown. The samurai preparing for battle, trembling, preparing their mind, readying themselves.

I'm no samurai. however. More an ashigaru (foot soldier), running forward, carrying a banner, trying not to fall down.

At the moment, I'm sitting in my favorite room, plastic storage tubs all around me, slowly being filled with my stuff. But there's really too much stuff. Which brings me to my motto or theme for 2026. 

Solitude, shedding, reclaiming. 

Solitude.

I'm going to be alone. Really alone. I think the last time I was alone was my first couple years as an exchange student -- over 35 years ago. But even then, I was in a dorm and had a dozen friends a shout or wall knock away. 

So I'm going into 2026 tightening the cords on my kabuto knowing full well how much I'm going to deeply miss the joyous every day of good conversation, laughter, spontaneous hugs and dancing. Ten years is a long time. 

I've bought some books on solitude and have started reading those. Musha burui.

Shedding.

Stuff. All the material clutter and mental clutter and hopefully bad habits and patterns. I need to make myself lighter. Hey! Ashigaru! Foot soldier. Light feet!

I'm moving into my mother-in-law's house -- it been unused for years now -- but mm-boy! is it piled high with...stuff. Bless her heart, but that woman never met a zabuton cushion, futon, blanket, or item of clothing she wanted to throw away. So my ex and brother-in-law have graciously said I could stay there and in return, I shed. Go through and figure out what to donate, reuse, throw away. It's a lot.

I don't think it can be overstated or even explained fully how much our physical possessions weigh us down. I didn't even realize it until that time I had to get out of a difficult situation and left with one suitcase, lived in a two-room apartment for a few years. That buoyancy was joyous. Empowering. Hopeful. Looking forward to that feeling again.

Reclaiming. 

This is where I heal. I plan to reclaim my time, my energy, my space, my path forward. In the past two weeks I have spent more time with various friends than i have in ten years. I'm looking forward to connecting with more of them, and investing back into the people I love and care about. 

Another thing I'm both nervous and excited about is the podcast and Patreon. I very well might be doing the show all by myself. My son has offered to help with audio. 

As for Patreon, I'm excited about because already I'm settling into the more Japanesey me. I've spent a total of twelve hours with four different Japanese friends the last two days, and I haven't done this in years. 

Out of the blue, a pair of friends who I haven't hung out with since before corona reached out and we spent yesterday visiting two very peculiar shrines and made a promise to start doing field work together next year. 

I'll absolutely have more and better content to share in 2026 and it will be deeper and more consistent, too. Already from yesterday's adventures alone I've got at least four interesting blog post ideas. These two friends teach me so much. It's like having and expert in folkore and myth and one in Shinto and Japanese gods to show you, explain to you, and discuss things with you.

All the while I'll desperately miss the house, my best friend and partner, all the perfect days filled with laughter and fun, working together, and stimulating conversation; and I'll miss the sunsets and sunrise from the veranda and my crows, god damn I'll miss my crows. Buddy Sweet Pea, Niblet and Niblet's new friend who I haven’t named because...sad. 

The day it became clear I had to leave here, I was reeling, in shock, and not knowing what to do or think. I shuffled the oracle that had just arrived from the publisher a couple days earlier asked: What now? And i pulled:  Fujin raijin. 

Hakai to saisei. Destruction, rebirth, regeneration.

Which was just so spot on. Destruction is not simply and end, it's also a necessary part of renewal. The card is not just one of messy endings, but of creativity and rebirth.

A sideways look at the news (which I spent way too much time catching up on all the time), and I think of 2025 and the utter chaos going on seemingly everywhere and how it feels so dark and unstable and dangerous right now, but also I carry a candle of hope in my heart that like "hakai and saisei", next year will bring the rebuilding and rebirth we need.

So coming up on this Year of the Fire Horse, I wish you all a joyous, peaceful, wildly creative and deeply fulfilling 2026! Life's not getting any longer, so let's make good memories, read a lot of books, create anything that brings us joy, and enjoy all the quiet moments as well as the raucous ones! 

It's New Year's Eve at the moment, and I'm preparing to drive up to the temple and do joya no kane (ring in the new year) at midnight, as well as hatsu mode (the first shrine visit after that), AND wake before dawn to catch the first sunrise. I'm going to take the ol' recorder and record all three, some videos, too. I'll pop all those up here on patreon right after I take a nap.

Thank you for your ongoing and gracious support. I'm looking forward to digging deeper and sharing all those finds with you in 2026. ✨ A Happy New Year to You! ✨

Terrie