I'm going to do it (Patreon)

Hey hey, everyone 🫶~~I'm going to do it 💪. It was a squishy little idea, a gut urging, something I've been wanting to do for years, but the planning was always overwhelming (as was the timing - I was always too busy), or maybe I didn't have the guts, so I never made it happen.

In the span of one year, I broke up with the person I thought I'd be with the rest of my life (who was my best friend, by the way), and then my other best dude friend (whom I've known since J was a toddler) passed way very unexpectedly . I also lost my favorite house and my crow friends. I'm not homeless exactly, but I'm in a hoarder's house and not sure for how much longer. That said, I did manage to write a book (Dark Tales from Japan), and celebrate Legends of Japanese Mythology's release, AND I'm reconnecting with all my long lost friends💕. But it's been a lot, I suppose. I didn't even touch on world news and personal family woes either. Oof. So it hit a few days after Chris' passing, this overwhelming urge to head out, by myself, in my old Cube and ... okay, since I'm having a lot of interesting emotions and thoughts at the moment and they are nowhere near consolidated, let's use a colon here ...

I want to: explore, think, sketch, photograph, record, study, reflect, be alone, read, wander, cry, wonder, walk, meditate, be in nature, grieve, celebrate, talk to kind strangers, outline these new book ideas I have, eat freaky local foods, heal, figure out who I am alone by myself, and what this me wants to do with the rest of her life, study, touch old trees, learn something... and actually, I want to share anything that feels like it could be peaceful or soothing, or interesting and quirky with you, too. While I'm going without a plan, I do have a direction. North. North before the snows come in. I will aim for Hokkaido. Wow. Hold up. I've been thinking of calling the trip something. I kinda of like that "North. North before the Snows Come in". Maybe don't need the "in". North. North Before the Snow Comes.

North. North Before the Snow Hits. North. North Before the Snow. <--how brains work without ai)Hmmm... I have about thirty ideas. There is a bunch I need to take care of before I leave, like seeing if my car can even make the trip. But I know Chris would absolutely applaud this. A million times over he'd say DO IT! In fact he always was saying that with the other times I was fiddling with the idea.

So I'm going to do it. Next month. More when I put out a hundred fires and tie up a hundred more loose ends. But I'm on a countdown clock, because I have to do it before he weather turns bad up there. Oh, before I forget, the photo up top is a paper and cardboard coin I made to put in Chris' coffin. He had the stoic phrase Memento Mori coin ("Remember you must die" -- basically, we all die, so live virtuously and in the present moment, a good full life) that he always kept in his pocket to remind him of this. Aside from all his books, it was one of his most treasured items. I let his daughter know it's significance to him, so it's with her now 💕. I think she said she'd put it on a little altar she made for him. There's one more coin, another story. But I'll do that later.

Anyway, you're not allowed to put metal in the casket before a cremation, so I made him a paper one. It was his motto in life and he indeed lived a great stoic life. I told him often about my planned adventures and we fiddled with the idea of him coming to meet me somewhere and us recording things, places, thoughts, discussing books we were reading. None of it happened. He left too soon. I waited too long.

So, here I am making my little dream happen. Or...well, until I get on the road, let's say I've decided to do it. As we know, ANYTHING can happen and pull the rug out from under us. But this is my direction and I'm determined. I need this. Selfishly. I need to take care of myself for a bit.

I hope all of you are able to find peace and hope and small or big adventures in everyday life. XOXO, stay tuned ✨

terrie