Oseibo/お歳暮--End of Year Gift Giving (Patreon)

Around this time of year and again in August you'll find many supermarkets, department stores, and even post offices decked out with shelves of smart-looking boxed gifts or displays with photos of what those smart-looking boxed gifts look like. Post offices – because of lack of space – will have pamphlets or booklets or even catalogs advertising these fancy presents. Feel free to take them home and peruse at your own leisure. Because there’s a bunch!

You’ve got your beer, coffee, tea, juice, cookies, wagashi (Japanese sweets), fruit, meat, vegetable oil, fresh crab, laundry detergent and the list just goes on and on and on.

                                                           [Hello! Delightful-looking sweets]

But do you need to buy one of these boxed gifts? And if so, for whom? 

Oseibo/お歳暮 and Ochugen/お中元 are old traditions that while seem to be losing their hold on the younger generation, they're still around. What happens is families look back on the year and remember all the people who they have “oseiwa ni natta.” 

Oseiwa ni natta is a phrase used a LOT in Japan. Basically, it means “thank you for your help,” and complicated nuances aside, it's just that, any person who has helped you throughout the year, well, they get one of these special gifts. The price range is huge. Some are quite expensive.

                                            [Candied chestnuts, natto beans, and black beans]

There's a story I love telling, one of those mind-blowing, I'm-not-in-Kansas-anymore stories. It happened in my first year here as a student. Somehow a friend of mine asked me to help her friend with some English classes. It was just a short gig, a couple months, and it finished up in mid December. That’s important.

Well, her friend just happened to be the wife of a doctor and a kind of rich I had never experienced before here. But what blew my mind was after the last lesson which turned out to be a little make-your-own-taco party for the kids (OMG, she used yogurt in place of sour cream. I was *blink*blink*). Anyways, everything was over and we’re saying our goodbyes. She was walking me to the door when we passed a tatami tea room and she stopped and motioned me inside. 

“Pick something,” she says. 

I didn't know what I was looking at. In one corner, piled all the way up the ceiling were dozens upon dozens (hundreds?) of pretty boxed gifts. She kind of rolled her eyes like what a hassle having all this stuff and urged me to grab something. I think I took some soy sauce or dish soap. Something practical. I was a poor student.

I learned later that because her husband had his own clinic and she was also the local English teacher, they both received tons of end of the year and in the summer, mid summer gifts. 

[Ochugen/お中元  and Oseibo/お歳暮 are observed at different times in the Kanto (east) and Kansai (west) areas of Japan]

So ‘important’ people get oseibo and/or ochugen. We’re talking clients, bosses, doctors, tutors, older relatives, even your matchmaker. But the rules are kind of weird. If you’ve never given one of these gifts, you can pretty much just go on without doing so. But if you start, it’s sort of awkward to stop. Like…did you stop because the person did something you didn’t like? Is this a dis?! Lots of thinking goes on, so it’s easier just to keep giving every year. But even some Japanese find that a little tiresome and stressful. 

But I must say, for a while there I was getting some and quite loved them. I've never seen something that isn’t nice or I can't use or eat or drink. I also enjoyed trying to find something my in-laws liked, but that turned out to be harder than I imagined. Faux Pas were made! Whole 'nother story there. 

Anyway, these days I’m ochugen and oseibo free and that’s nice, too. Although, it was fun getting a gift of something I never would have bought for myself (24 cans of 100% fruit juice in various flavors or an assortment of sausages or an orchid in a lovely pot). The whole okaeshi (returning a gift because you got a gift) will make your head explode. I'm okay to have less of that in my life. 

Real quick, in other news:

November and December postcards are being sent this week. I made a dragon card for the New Year so my hope is that they arrive early in January 🤞 

More to say, but this is long, XO, 

Thank you ありがとう！(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡

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