So I Made a Hilarious Christmas Image...😂 *slaps knee* (Patreon)

Someone's going to have to come over and beat me with a stick to get me off my ipad. I have to charge it twice a day and god forbid the pencil dies on me all the sudden because I forgot to plug it in the night before. Real tears. I'm trying to mitigate some gnarly neck pain, atm. Self talk: Terrie, good posture, not oh my gosh what does this new brush do?! Or can I get my face any closer to the pixels on the screen?

So, I took a break from working on VN images and made the above tanuki. I know. I know. I'm *so* funny. I showed it to Richard who said I should have written: "Have a balls out Christmas." Yes, arguably funnier, but I don't want to ruin my reputation of being understated and tactful. 

*ahem*

Hey! Let's talk about Christmas in Japan. It does happen. But different.

In the early nineties it was barely thing. They didn't sell trees at all and the only way I got one was because a friend of a friend of my moms who was an Air Force pilot just happened to be flying to Japan and put one on his plane. After arriving, he had it sent to me. A saint! Ooo, new thought: Maybe I was the first person ever with a fake Christmas tree in Japan? Okay, maybe no. But maybe yes!

These days you can find decorations everywhere. Usually smaller ones because houses are so much smaller and no yards for enormous inflatable Santas. Christmas lights are called "Illumination" and aren't done too much privately (electricity bills will make you cry even harder than excruciating neck pain), but stations and parks and well traveled areas downtown really go all out. Too all out? Would I call it balls out? Maybe.

Some are tasteful. Bright, but tasteful enough.

Then there's...well, here's a photo of Fujieda Station's illumination a couple years ago.

What would baby Jesus say?

If anyone has any idea of what this means, I'm all ears.

One thing you'll always find when there is illumination going on in Japan are spots for couples (or friends) to take photos together. There's the word "instabae/インスタ映え" which basically means "instagramable" or "instagenic." But taking photos in certain cheesy spots has pretty much always been a thing, even before Instagram. I'm guessing it's a world wide phenomena. Just a guess. Or in our DNA. I don't know. 

Let me direct your attention to exhibit 1,  taken last week when we went to see the new Godzilla movie. I just couldn't help myself. Why I thought this was a good idea...definitely not instabae.

Anyway, perfectly random, but Yaizu (my old city) Station -- since it's a fishing port -- always does Christmas lights that have something to do with fish. 

Here you and your significant other can be mermaids...for Christmas. Instabae!

I think it's all a hoot. Although, my needle is starting to nudge a little to Enough Already. But that might just be because I'm getting old and curmudgeonly. Also I really enjoy the night sky and stars.

Here's a link to illuminations from each prefecture (2022-2023). And they're ranked! Very nice.

In other traditions, we don't have ovens here per se. There are toaster ovens and some microwaves act as a sort of oven. But baking is a more recent thing. So sadly, the whole idea of baking sheet after sheet of Christmas cookies and exchanging them with others or baking a couple pies has not made it over yet. I find it fascinating the Christmas "strawberry short cake" is straight up a Christmas thing, but pies not at all. 

In lieu of roasting your own bird or ham, there's Kentucky Fried Chicken who totally cleaned up with their marketing campaign some decades ago. Now you have to order your traditional fried chicken Christmas Eve or Day dinner way in advance. In December, they have a calendar on the wall with times blocked off, showing you what small increments are still available to come pick up your bird.

I'm sounding facetious, but if you think about it, compared to Americans (as far as I know) Japanese don't eat a lot of fast food. This is changing somewhat with the younger generations and with kids who go from school to sports club to cram school and get hungry. But KFC is expensive and a treat here. Another thing is that fast food in Japan is much better than I've ever experienced in the States. People care about what they're making and there's no gross hanky panky stuff happening in the kitchen. 

These days you'll find supermarkets selling roasted (or fried) chicken parts (or occasionally whole), too, only around this season. If you're lucky, whole uncooked chickens (and rarely turkeys) can be had at certain upscale grocery stories -- at least here outside the big cities -- and they fit in your electric convection ovens. 

So Christmas is mostly for kids to have a fancy poultry-based meal and get a present from mom and dad and maybe Santa. It's also a time for couples to go to a nice restaurant followed by a Love Hotel* if the mood strikes. It's not a time for family to get together and enjoy each other's company. That would be New Years, Oshogatsu. 

I'll end with some splendid Christmas meal or snack ideas for inspiration. 

Wrapped sushi presents or Santa's belly. Clever!

Making inarizushi reindeer with mini tomato noses and fried lotus root horns is just brilliant. The eyes are pieces of sliced cheese and nori.

The shape of a snowman lends itself to a rice ball meal, but nestled inside an inari wrapper is a nice touch. Missed opportunity not so stick a baby Jesus in that inari wrapper, but then again, not a Christian county. 

And finally an easy but good idea is to make a chirashizushi Christmas tree. Sushi rice shaped in a triangle topped with lettuce then decorated with fish, tomato, and yellow peppers. Don't forget to shave a ribbon or two of cucumber for garland!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, Everyone 😘!

*If anyone is interested in a post on love hotels, let me know. They are the coolest, most clever, most bizarre things that still blow my mind to this day.