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Neighborhood Bull - First Draft (Patreon)

Published:
2022-06-07 17:27:38
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

Here's the whole damn thing.  Went ahead and compiled the whole thing together, but new content in this is in Chapters 19, 20, and the small epilogue.  

A large portion of Chapter 16 was binned because it added stuff that wasn't needed to resolve the story from where it stood.  The stuff with the petition and the Landrys and all that was cut in favor of focusing on rumor to move things more efficiently to the David/Alisha chapter.  It's still not a great section, but it does bridge into he last four chapters well enough.  While I was doing that, I touched up the other stuff in 16 a little bit as well.  Any references to the old 16 in 17 or 18 will be caught in draft 2.

From here, gonna let it rest for a week or so to get some distance.  Then I'll do a thorough revision of the whole thing.  I've kept all the notes everyone has given me in the document so I can revise with them in mind.  Lots of scenes need punching up, timelines need clarity, some character moments need fleshing out.  And of course a ton of grammar and punctuation fixes.  Ultimately, the release copy will be put on here as an ARC for a temporary period before I put it on kindle unlimited.  I don't think the Zon cares about drafts, so this one can stay up for posterity.  

The good news is that if you're sick of this story, it's over!  I'll take a little mental break in the back half of this week and then get some one shots out for June before starting on my next "chunk" story.  Happy Reading!

Comments

Red Panda Seven

Having spent time to reread the entire story from the go I was pleasantly surprised by the resolution. The part that feels rough is we end up with a Chekov Gun moment were we get a bunch of possible transformations and never really explore any of them. The mention of them made me think we'd at least get to experience them in part or explore them to some extent; but once summer was time skipped into the fall, I'm left feeling there was a wasted opportunity to do the 'temporary' bullock transformation recruitment drive. Get dudes paying to have larger dicks and more stamina to go with the transformed women. I get it One Alpha lots of Cows trope is what sells but never recruiting males to help fuck the cows before the accidental Jonas change seems like a missed avenue (also could have led to the rumors and what fuels the finale). The other one is I am sad we never got a FUTA out of this. Darcy et al becoming mad scientists and succeeding with an unknown formula with Jonas seems too lucky and out of thin air. I would have preferred some mishaps over the summer with customers and recruits or seeing the failures. I get Sasha was guiding them but it seems the "Beta Bull formula" was something Darcy creates untested without help from a scientist. Trial and error of the different formulas as they try to perfect it for when they seize the 'hood. Even if it was trying to restore some brain functionality to the consorts so they were less robotic and more part of the scheming. My only other gripe is that at the end of the day I get it is a Himbo/Bimbo story but I would have liked to see more intelligent consorts like Darcy come out of it; especially with Emily/Sarah seeming successful business people and could have been useful 'franchising' Shady Ridge. As it stands you got the neighborhood and the only intelligent consort left feels like Darcy.