Vought Marketing Department Chat: Supe Tiers (Patreon)

Tier 7: Megastars/The Elites/A-List 🏆🌟💰

Who we're talking about: The cream of the crop. Homelander (obviously), American Son, the whole Seven lineup. Don't forget Payback and Nubian Prince. Oh, and the G-Men when they're not being total pains in our ass.

What they're raking in: Everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. We're talking blockbuster movies that makes Titanic look like a student film. Video game franchises that'll have kids begging their parents for V-bucks or whatever the hell we're calling our in-game currency this week. Branding deals that would make Jesus blush.

How we handle them: Like gods. Literally. Kid gloves made of diamonds. These guys sneeze and we're there with a gold-plated tissue. They're the face of Vought, so if they fuck up, we move heaven and earth to cover it up.

Pro tip: Stroke their egos, FUCKING STROKE THEM

Tier 6: Stars/Almost-But-Not-Quite-A-Listers 🌟📺

The lineup: Webweaver, Blue Hawk, Supersonic, Great Wide Wonder, Tek-Knight, Ironcast. Teams like The Young Americans and Teenage Kix when they're not embarrassing themselves on TMZ.

Their slice of the pie: They're doing alright for themselves. Think supporting roles in our blockbusters, lead roles in our B-tier flicks. Solid TV presence, decent merchandising. They're the ones we send to the talk shows when the A-listers are "busy".

Our approach: Keep 'em hungry for that top spot. Throw them a bone now and then, maybe a cameo in a Vought movie or a limited-edition action figure. But keep 'em hungry for Tier 7, but don't let 'em get too big for their boots

Fun fact: Blue Hawk's been pushing for his own movie. Keep feeding him those Dunkin Donuts sponsorships instead. Cheaper for us, and it keeps him off our backs.

Tier 5: Influencers/B-Listers 📱/ "Working On It" 📈

Who: The Maverikz (yes, with a 'z', some genius in branding thought that was cool), Team Titanic , Behemoth, Oh Father.

What we give 'em: Social media campaigns, YouTube series, maybe a guest spot on a CW show if we're feeling generous. Limited edition merch drops or a reality show if they behave.

How we play it: These guys are our Instagram darlings. Have them push our products to the kids. If they complain, remind them they could be doing local car dealership ads instead.Dangle that Tier 6 carrot, keep 'em motivated

Insider info: Oh Father's been killing it on TikTok lately. Might be time to bump him up if he keeps those engagement numbers high.

Tier 4: The C-Listers 🥉/"At Least They're Trying" 🤷‍♂️

The roster: Fantastico, She-Hemoth, Element Force. You know, the ones you have to Google to remember their powers.

Their gig: Local publicity stunts/ads, guest spots on crappy sitcoms, ribbon-cutting ceremonies, maybe a spot on a cheesy game show. We use them to fill out crowd scenes in the bigger heroes' movies.

Our strategy: Keep 'em visible enough to be useful, but not so much that people start asking questions about their abilities. Remind them they're lucky to be here, use 'em for diversity points. They're great for that.

Reality check: Most of these guys are one scandal away from dropping to Tier 3. Keep the PR team on speed dial.

Tier 3: Wannabes & Has-Beens/The D-Listers 📉🕰️

The sad sacks: Popclaw (before her, uh, "retirement"), Mesmer, and whoever else is clinging to their former glory.

What they're left with: Comic con appearances, D-list movies, B-list cameos, celebrity rehab specials. Anything to keep them in the public eye without costing us too much.

How we deal: Nostalgia is a hell of a drug, and we're the dealers. Milk whatever nostalgia value we can, ready to cut 'em loose. Great for throwback merchandise campaigns.

Word of caution: Keep a close eye on these ones. They're desperate enough to do something stupid, like talk to the press about the "good old days".

Tier 2: Locals/The Underdogs/The "Who?" Squad 🏙️

Prime example: Super Duper. Yeah, I had to be reminded they exist too.

Their "territory": Strictly small-time. We're talking local parades, high school anti-drug campaigns, maybe a spot on the regional news if there's a slow crime day.

Our minimal effort: Throw 'em a bone with some local sponsorships. Maybe a billboard in their hometown if they're lucky. Great for maintaining our image in smaller markets without investing real resources.

Silver lining: At least they're not costing us money. Usually.

Tier 1: The Basement Dwellers 🕳️

Who?: Gecko, and... honestly, I can't remember the rest. That's kind of the point.

Their "glamorous" life: They get jack shit. These guys are so far off the radar, they might as well be working at a Vought-A-Burger. No public presence, no branding, nada.

Why we keep them around: Two words: plausible deniability. Plus, R&D always needs fresh lab ra-- I mean, "volunteers".

Pro tip: If anyone asks, we've never heard of them. Got it? Pretend they don't exist unless R&D needs a guinea pig.Remember, it's our job to make these costumed freaks look good and make us $$$. Any questions, hit me up. And for fuck's sake, don't let this leak to the supes. Last thing we need is another Lamplighter situation. - Dave