No Life Kid 10A (Patreon)

The date was… good.

Actually, scratch that. It was downright great.Dinner at the little Italian place in Port Angeles had been fun, happy and full of conversation that wasn’t just retreads of what Zander already knew had happened at school that day, Jessica giggling about a book that he’d recommended her. 

‘I didn’t know you were into reading, and romance?’ She pawed the cover of the book she’d brought with her, the words Dead Until Dark clear on the cover. ‘Vampires too? You have a really hidden other side, don’t you?’

‘...not that hidden, no.’

At the very least, she seemed to really like it, although she said it was kinda ‘unrealistic’.

Which… fair.

The movie hadn’t been some explosion-fest that Zander would’ve locked into, just a rom-com with a classic and expected. Not his genre, usually, but seeing Will Smith in his prime on screen was well worth it.

Seeing her face light up when Hitch finally admitted he loved her and was an idiot? Yeah, that was enough to make up for the lack of explosions and punching. Just two years till Michael Bay makes real cinema again. 

Now, they were back in the belly of the beast, the immaculate 7 Series winding its way through the dark veins of the Olympic Peninsula roads.

A small hand reached across his arm-rest, dainty fingers sliding between his knuckles with an ease that felt like coming home.

Her palm was fever-hot compared to his, the vanilla and sugar and citrus scent just as strong as ever with the coppery tang of iron-rich blood pumping just below the surface of her skin a primal bass line in his ear. 

Zander swallowed. 

At least, he tried to.

Instead, thick and urgent saliva flooded his mouth, tongue with nowhere to go as he tried to keep it all in. A drop escaped the corner of his lips before he could catch it, sliding down his chin.

He wiped it away fast, a blur of motion with his free hand as he pretended to scratch at his chin.

Jessica squeezed his hand, heart skipping a beat as her own instincts responded to his sudden desire to eat. “You okay?”

Even with two full meals in you? He'd just drained the two fuckers a few nights ago and it still wasn't enough to keep Jessica from ramping him up like this. Damnit! Zander turned to her, thankful his glasses hid the fact that his irises were blown wide, dilated till the point the blue holes damn near swallowed the pupil. “Yeah, jus-”

The smile on his face died as his head tilted, nostrils flaring wide.

Three scents, all of them distinct and familiar; cold and dead as they kept pace parallel to the road, cutting through the trees like hungry ghosts.

Well, damn. As always, the "We Don't Eat People but We Will Annoy You to Death" brigade.

“Yeah.” He kept his face neutral, nothing but the boyfriend she knew still there. “Just thinking about homework. That English essay is gonna be a killer.”

Jessica laughed, squeezing his hand again. “You’ll ace it. You always do.”

If I don’t have to kill three vampires first.

– o – o – o – o – o – o – o –

Twenty minutes later had Jessica safe behind her front door, the kiss goodnight long enough to make her feel happy and short enough to let him keep his head on straight.

Zander waited for the lock to click shut, before he finally slid back into the passenger seat, Walter already aware something was different from the silence as they drove for a good half-minute.

"Master Cray?" Hands at ten and two and eyes on the road, Walter’s ears were tuned to the littlest thing, and too much silence from him was its own warning sign.

"We're being followed, Walter.” His own voice came out a whisper, not willing to risk being heard in the distance by their hunters. I'll handle it."

Walter didn’t ask questions, the manservant simply nodding his agreement. "Where would you like to disembark, sir?"

Zander’s eyes narrowed as they drove for a minute or two more, the answer coming to him as they reached an area he knew well enough. "Up ahead, that deserted stretch near the trail, pull over. Probably no hikers this side."

The car glided to a stop on the gravel shoulder, the woods pressing in close as the sun set beneath the horizon.

“Go home, Walter.” Zander climbed out, adjusting his denim before he tapped the roof of the car three times. “I’d rather you not get caught in the splash zone.”“...I was under the impression that these vampires do not bleed, sir.”Zander hummed but didn’t turn around. “Yeah, I wasn’t talking about them.”

The vampire didn’t need to look to see the frown on his familiar’s face, the old man’s lips tightening audibly behind him. "As you say, sir. Do try to keep your clothes intact. I fear we’ll be running out of denim soon.”

"No promises, Walter."

The engine revved as the BMW pulled away, taillights fading into the mist like red eyes blinking shut.

Zander stood alone on the deserted road, forest looming on either side as twin walls of black pine and shadow. He stood there for a second, listening to the silence of the near-night before he turned to the right.

"Come on out, Tall, Dick, and Angry.” Zander clicked his tongue. “I know you're not shy."

One. Two. Three.

They emerged from the treeline without any warning or sign, even to his senses. Not a single rustling leaf or cracking branch to announce their presence, as the three crystalline vampires appeared in front of him. Guess that’s what a hundred years of practice does for you.

Edward Cullen stood in the middle, the tortured hero radiating enough aggression that it clung to him like werewolf stink; hands clenched tight into fists as he took point. Emmett flanked him to the left, grinning like a kid who just found out recess got extended. Jasper Hale took the right, the old soldier still looking like he was ready for war.

“Okay, can I ask a question?” He slipped his hands into his pockets, the smile on his face almost tired as he raised an eyebrow their way. “I’m going ask it anyway. Is this, like, a racial thing?”Edward’s eye twitched.“Okay, fair enough, you’re cool on that. Is this about the English class comment?” He clicked his tongue. “Because I stand by my analysis. Heathcliff was a dick.” Without another word, he started walking away from the roads, away from the trail, and away from any potential witnesses who might stumble onto the most terrifying thing they’d ever seen.

“We need to talk.” Edward’s voice came from the right, just behind him as the vampire fell into step.

“You know you said that last time?” Zander grinned over his shoulder, a loud scoff leaving his lips. “But I’ll bite. About what, exactly? My stunning good looks? Jessica’s excellent taste in boyfriends? The weather? Because if you’re gonna complain about that, get in line.”

“About what happened in that car.” Jasper’s voice was quiet but the authority in it was clear.

Zander didn’t stop as he kept leading them deeper into the darkness.

“We know what we saw.”

Zander turned slowly, letting a sliver of fang slip over his bottom lip as he eyed Jasper. “And what exactly did you see?”

“Hunger,” Edward cut in before Jasper could continue. “Losing control while right next to a human, and showing no care or caution. You’re a problem.”

“Losing control?”

Zander threw his head back and laughed, the sound genuine as it echoed through the thickness of the forest. “Look, fellas, if I was losing control, we wouldn’t be having a conversation. We’d be having a funeral.

He started jogging now, a glacial pace for him, more than an Olympian sprint for anyone else as the trees blurred past.

“We’re done playing games.” Edward matched his speed instantly; his brothers easily closing the distance as well. “You’re a threat. And we won’t allow y-”

“Allow?”

Zander spun mid-stride, running backward now, facing them as the amusement in his voice evaporated to near-nothing. “Allow? What gives you the authority to allow anything? Did you get a permit from the Vampire HOA?”

Emmett frowned. “This is our territory, rasta man.”Okay, I just gave you a pass on the race thing, man. “Oh, so you legally own the Pacific Northwest now?” Zander shot back cheerfully. “You pee on the trees, bear boy? That how it works up here? What, if I pee on your shorty, she belong to me too?”

Apparently, that was a joke too far as Emmett attacked without a hint of warning.