Massive Disaster 5-19B (Patreon)

“Absolutely the fuck not.”The Asari blinked, her gaze easing from John back to Jane as the Commander’s sister snapped into the space between them. A scowl on her face, Zedd raised an eyebrow as her hand dropped halfway to the magnetic holster on her hip; a threat if he had ever seen one.

A bit too much there, Jane. The woman was protective of her ‘little’ brother, clearly, despite the near foot in height difference and raw mass. Even still, Liara’s offer had been made with as much sincerity as he had ever seen from an Asari.

Granted… Zedd tilted his head to the side. Not saying much.

Blue skin aside, the space succubi were still obviously space succubi, and the added facts that they were effectively immortal on top of being inherently psychic — for at least two definitions of the term — only made them worse, not better.

All that considered, on top of all the unfortunate encounters he’d had with them from every rung of Asari society, Zedd had yet to meet a blueskirt — present company somewhat excluded — of any age that he would trust with a thousand credits, let alone his brain itself. 

His chin tilted up, lips turning down for all of a second as he played back his own thoughts to himself …man, the Council really might have a point about me. He allowed his chin to fall again, lips pursed. Eh, we’re all allowed our biases.

And as much as he wanted to hold onto his, Liara was quickly burning through at least a fraction of them. Not enough to make him forgive the fact that several members of her species, from pirate to Spectre and all the way to Matriarch, had plotted on his downfall, but still…some.

 “Not putting your blue brain-fingers in his head.” Jane growled the words, forcing Zedd to snap out of his own. “Don’t know you. Don’t trust you. Definitely don’t trust your mother.”Again, all fair points and none Zedd could deny.

“Jane…” A pair of large hands — probably as firm as they looked too — gripped Jane Shepard by her shoulders to gently move her aside. Even with all the violence the Spectre was projecting, she didn’t seem to put up a fight; leaving Zedd with the impression of a cat having a tantrum. “This is my choice to make and I’m making it.”

“But Johnny!” She whirled on him, green eyes flaring with a sudden panic that rang with just as much anger.

“I said, stand down, Spectre Shepard.” The warmth in John’s voice vanished, firmness in his tone effectively solid titanium for all the give it allowed. Blue eyes met green, immovable object against unstoppable force. “One of us is the captain of this ship. And one of us is in control of my body.” John took in a breath, the tiredness in his eyes visible. “And if Dr. T’Soni can make sense of the nightmare looping in my skull, I’m…” 

John shook his head slowly, a sigh leaking out. “Well, I’m game.”“Please…” Liara stepped forward again. “Call me Liara.”

Blue eyes left a half-fuming Jane to land on the Asari. “Okay, Liara.”“Not to cockblock, but before we jump right to the cerebral cerulean space sex, I might have a second idea.”

Every eye in the room snapped towards the far end of the table, lengthwise nearest the door, as Zedd Victors raised a hand like he was in class again. 

“Hell.” Jane Shepard didn’t even wait for the pitch, a look of venom on her face the second she spotted someone else to transfer her ire onto. “No.”

Zedd lowered his hand. “I believe you already said that.” 

“Mmmm, no…” A hum sounded in his ear as Kira leaned forward, both arms halfway down his chest and meeting at the fingers. “She said ‘Absolutely the fuck not’, Zee.”“Silly me.” A palm met his forehead, a loud clap echoing through the room. “My brain’s going.”Garrus bit back a snort, whether at Zedd’s words or the reddening of Jane’s face; the galaxy would never find out as the Spectre took the chance to make her stance on the matter even more clear. “You’re not touching my brother.”

“I mean…” He sighed loud and low, rolling his shoulders in a lazy shrug that had Kira ease off and stand on her own. “If you’re taking volunteers to rummage around his gray matter, I don’t see why I’m being left out. Brains are kinda my thing. Give me a couple medical scanners and six hours, and the Commander over there’ll be hooked up to a neural imager that projects his brainwaves directly onto the main CIC and eases his headaches on top of that.”

The sole CEO in the room clicked his tongue, blueprints already forming in his head. “Much more sanitary. Way less chance of potential blue brain-babies. Easy win-win.”

Jane Shepard turned fully to face him, all the heat she had to offer aimed right at the man in the cobalt jacket. “I’d rather a thresher maw go at his skullcap than let a terrorist have access to anything in my little brother’s brain, Victors.”“So, you’ll let an alien in there?”Ashley tilted her head, the words slipping out automatically. Liara frowned her way, brow furrowed in clear offense. Both women’s expressions lasted for all of a second before they stowed them back away behind discipline and decorum.

Zedd didn’t miss either one. Good to know where the fault lines are, at least.

“At the very least, she’s harmless.” Jane’s glare slid to Ashley, the Gunnery Chief not meeting her eyes, before the Spectre turned back to Zedd. 

“Thank you, Lt. Commander.” The Asari offered Jane a smile. “I appreciate that.”Jane just grunted back.Pretty sure that was a compliment to me more than you. Either way, Zedd’s hands went up in complete surrender, a smirk playing across his lips. “I mean, suuure. Let the psychic probe the brain of someone with Alliance military secrets. What even is opsec, right? Not like I’m the one here who actually has a contract with the Systems Alliance or something.”

“Psychic?” Liara blinked, her smile fading away in the face of literal confusion. “I think you misunderstand, Mr. Victors. The melding of nervous systems is biol-”“Did I say psychic? My baaaad.” Zedd leaned back in his chair, cutting the Asari off with words and a wave before she could pick up too much steam. “Proceed with the space magic.”Jane scowled at his words, teeth grinding as John offered Liara a reassuring nod. “Do it.”The room dropped into silence, the gathered crew watching as the doctor raised delicate blue hands to place them gently on either sides of John Shepard’s awaiting face.“Embrace…” She took in a breath as the word seemed to echo in the room. “Eternity.”

Liara’s eyes dilated instantly, sclera subsumed and swallowed up by an inky bottomless black as dark as the void of space. In front of her, John Shepard went rigid, body locking up entirely as his jaw shut with an audible click. Something tore across his expression as his eyes rolled back, muscles corded and straining beneath his undersuit as the alien consciousness met his own.Seconds stretched out, longer than Zedd had ever realized they could be.

All the while, Jane’s hand hovered over her pistol, fingers twitching a half-second away from just drawing the weapon and terminating the Meld herself.

No sooner did she tap the pistol for a third time, a sharp gasp broke the quiet as Liara stumbled backward from John. Her back met Garrus, the Turian catching her by the shoulder to keep her from collapsing to the floor.…that’s it? Zedd raised an eyebrow. Honestly, I expected… more. His disappointment aside, John Shepard braced both hands flat against the table, the Commander’s chest heaving desperately as he sucked in all the oxygen he could, like a drowning man.

“Did… did it work?” Jane leaned in, hand leaving her weapon fully.Liara pulled in a deep breath of her own before she answered for the both of them. “It… It is fragmented. Distortions… so many of them. The pain of an entire dying civilization. I… I saw them. Towering machines, so… so strange, but not Geth.”Shepard swallowed a mouthful of nothing. “...and?”“It wasn’t a war, lieutenant.” 

The doctor raised her head to stare at Jane, horror clear on her face to match what her brother wore. “It was a harvest. A systematic reaping of all advanced life.”Jane stared at the alien still gulping down air. “...well, fuck.”“Indeed. The loss… so much gone. Culture. Technology. Billions of lives.” Liara raised her gaze back to John. “Billions of voices… a cosmic tragedy on a scale I cannot comprehend.”

“It’s a tactical impossibility.” A line of cold sweat tracked down the Commander’s forehead as he grunted his own response. “The size. The firepower. The raw amount of them. If Saren gets access to these super-dreadnoughts, the Alliance fleets won't last a week. I doubt the Citadel would make it past a full day.”

“Well.” Zedd’s voice cut through all the mounting dread as he stood up, one hand smoothing the front of his overcoat. Behind him, Kira and Kai shifted, both fully at attention to match his posture. “Meat gets harvested. Metal gets recycled.”

“Are you out of your mind, Victors?” The look Jane shot his way was enough to scare small animals, if not kill them outright from fright. “That’s an actual question.”Zedd pushed his chair forward, humming as he did so. “Giant squid ships with tech outside conventional limits and a penchant for galactic-scale genocide. Good to know now instead of later. Best thing to do right now is get to work and be prepared about it.”Zedd paused tight at the threshold of the doors as they slid open. “That way, we’ve got something ready to shoot them in the face if or when they pull up. And if they don’t?” He offered the crew a smile. “Well… I’ll at least have an armada ready to go for when the Turians inevitably buck up and try to play hardball again.” Two fingerguns went out, aimed at the former C-Sec officer. “No offense, warhawk.”

Garrus tilted his head, a rasp escaping his throat. “None taken.”

“See you guys at the next stop.”

Zedd strolled right out, Kira and Kai behind him as the doors hissed shut.

– o – o – o – o – o – o – o –

5k Words (100 FP)

ROLL: Fingers of the North Star (200 FP) [Cave Story] {Crafting Technological}:You have a natural talent with machinery, and this extends to firearms creation. You can disassemble, analyze, and reassemble any projectile weapon you come across, and you have the ability to create unique, one of a kind guns that utilizes odd and esoteric technology. You also gain a free 'stamp' you can apply to any weapon you create, to show it's your work. Upgrading existing weapons is a breeze as well.Forge Points: 500