Pet: Torment - Chapter Fourteen (Patreon)

Iris

My days and nights are spent in the room Remus made for me. I don’t know what it is about this room that calms me so much, but it is where I spend most of my time if I’m not outside exploring. It’s been a week since Iriel’s trial date was set and two days since it began. Per the Leviathan custom, the Leviathan’s Aureon must always be in attendance. And so, I haven’t seen Remus during the day at all. And by the time he returns, I’m already asleep.

It’s given me plenty of time to think about my lot in life, especially since Sky and I were able to converse the other day about what was left behind. Seeing her and talking to her was refreshing, and it made me realize just how much Remus must care for me to have turned a blind eye so quickly to all of my offenses against him and his empire.

I release a deep breath, pulling my knees to my chest before resting my cheek on them as I stare into the night sky. For once, Llora is not visible in the atmosphere. But I can still see the bright twinkle of a different galaxy bathed across the night sky. I wonder which bright lights are planets—which worlds Remus has visited and made a part of his empire.

Or which world is the world Remus himself came from.

I laugh to myself as I think of the conversation we had just the other day on the way to the capital. I can’t imagine not remembering my childhood. It’s what shaped me into who I am today. It’s what I look back on when I’m happy or sad, and it’s what I dream of when I close my eyes at night. It holds some of my most precious memories.

But for Remus, it was so long ago that he doesn’t recall anything about it, making him seem even less relatable than he was before. But it also sheds more light on his personality. He is an omnipotent being with no memory of being small or weak. He has no memory of wanting anything other than ruling an entire race for generations and constantly going to war for it. And he has no plans beyond that. 

“That is the purpose for which I was created.”

At the time, I was stunned by all the information as it shed light on the being who had invaded our world. So, his words didn’t stand out to me. But now, as I think back on it and combine it with everything he’s said since it’s unnerving how emotionless he is. He not only doesn’t experience them in the way we do, he also doesn’t have anything to look back on or forward to. He has nothing to build on.

He just… is.

And for whatever reason, he’s always felt that way. It makes me wonder if I’m the first thing he’s ever desired outside of his duty as Aureon. And as I think of our conversations and his questions each of those times, I shiver from the reality I was faced with at the time. It must be why he’s so fiercely protective of his siblings. Outside of his purpose as Aureon, they are the closest thing he has to…humanity, for lack of a better word. They are the only personal connection he has.

It makes me wonder even more about his mother. He doesn’t like speaking about her, I’ve noticed. Anytime I ask, he answers my question with a question, refusing to elaborate on her lack of presence or role in his life. Even in the past, when he shared his innermost thoughts with me, Remus never spoke of his mother in a fond light the way he did his siblings.

He speaks factually about her.

He has no emotional connection to her, and I wonder if that has anything to do with his lack of emotional understanding.

I quietly stand, making my way to the shelf that holds my mother’s necklace. The metal is blemish-free as I pick it up, opening it. My family’s faces look back at me, smiling as each of them is unaware of the future that awaits them. I take in my dad’s smiling expression. My memories of him are good ones. His last words to me are the reason I fought so hard every day to exist. Watching him use his last moments to ensure I survive is something I can’t squander. It just doesn’t compute that Remus has nothing like this with his mother. 

I shift my attention to Cypress. My stomach knots as I think of our last moments together. In the face of defeat, he let Iriel take me away as a shield. Even his childhood shaped who he ended up being.

The resentment I feel outweighs any sense of sadness. Especially when I think of his cold expression when he needlessly killed Jude. I quickly blink away my tears, placing the locket back on the shelf. I’m still not ready to put it back on.

I quietly take in each of the objects Remus brought back from Earth. Each of them has some form of meaning behind them. I’m curious what Remus felt through the bond to carve out such an elaborate room specifically for me that involves my homeworld. As my fingers drift over the hairpin given to me, I think of the moment it was given.

We were getting ready for the celebration of Xion’s arrival. I wonder if he thought about it when he placed it in my hair or if it was just a reaction—his way of comforting me while telling me my world was not going to be given a place within his empire. Regardless, I crushed any bit of my planet's chance when I pulled the trigger that I believed was going to liberate us.

It feels like it was so long ago at this point. Earth feels like it was nothing more than a fever dream compared to what I’ve seen on Xyrannis. Remus was right.

Confusion washes over me as my attention is gripped by something that wasn’t in here a few days ago. It’s new. It’s a floating orb that’s shaped like Earth. It slowly rotates on the shelf it's floating in, and the more I focus on it, the more I notice. There are small bits of illumination on random continents in different regions.

I narrow my gaze, slowly reaching for one of the dots. My finger brushes against it, and the room is suddenly illuminated in a hologram. I release an audible gasp, stepping back as I am transported back to the villa I woke up in after months of being under an inhibitor. I blink in confusion, trying to separate the technology from reality, but it seems so real… I can even feel the warm breeze. The sky has a warm glow over it, and the grass blows beneath my feet. I can even smell the river in the distance.

“What?” I say aloud when suddenly, in the distance, I see a woman. Her back is to me as she strolls through the grass, lazily walking in a line. My eyes widen when I realize it’s me. My hair is much shorter than it is now, the breeze bristling it lightly as I walk in the distance.

I look around the room, finding the floating orb in the hologram, my curiosity taking over. As it rotates, I focus more on the regions the illuminated dots are on. I note that there’s one in the middle of the ocean, and I reach for it.

“There’s no way…” I murmur to myself.

My surroundings shift, and I am back on the beach. I laugh aloud, tears burning my eyes as I take in the familiar scenery. And once again, I see myself in the distance, sitting near the shore, digging my toes in the sand.

These must be the locations Remus and I visited on Earth. But somehow, they are from Remus’s point of view. All those times, he was watching me from a distance. This is how he sees me. My skin warms from the thought as I continue to watch myself from his eyes.

It’s so… intimate.

I quietly reach for another location when suddenly I feel the sensation that signifies Remus is close. I turn towards the doorway just in time to see him stepping in. He must be coming straight from the trial. He’s dressed in his usual clothing he wears among his people, his hair held out of his face by a pendant. His eyes are aglow with excitement as he steps into the room, his attention on me in the hologram.

“Beautiful, isn’t she?” he asks, looking at the version of me who sits on the beach.

“Having lost everything and been betrayed by her people and her blood. Yet so strong… so much desire to live,” he says, smiling.

I quietly watch him. He remembers those days fondly, as I’m sure it was exciting for him to break down my world while showing me how useless it was to fight. But he doesn’t wait for me to respond as he turns to the small orb, swiping his hand over it to remove the hologram from the wall.

The room is cast in the warm, ambient glow as the lights come up, and Remus turns to look at me, excitement twinkling in his gaze. Foreign emotions that I can’t pin form within me as he looks at me with such excitement. It was the same the night of the celebration. He was visibly bored and detached as I walked back into the main hall, but the moment his eyes fell on me, life came to his features.

It’s almost intoxicating knowing this side of Remus is reserved for me.

I pray it’s the bond that makes me feel this way.

“Have you been in here all day?” Remus asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

He gently strokes my cheek with his thumb as he waits for my answer.

“There’s nothing else to do,” I whisper.

Remus smiles at my reaction to his proximity, probably aware of the effect he has on me. But he doesn’t say anything about it as he moves past me to inspect the room. His eyes fall briefly to the pile of books and paper near the window. And he laughs softly as he realizes what I was doing with it.

“If you wanted to continue with learning the language, you could have asked,” he says, turning to face me. “There are better ways than mapping out the vocabulary with books from other worlds. It will only confuse your vocabulary.”

“Would you like a tutor?” he asks.

“You’re not going to teach me anymore?” I ask. The words are out of my mouth before I can think of how desperate they make me sound. But Remus doesn’t point it out, and I am grateful for it as he moves to the shelves that hold his gifts to me.

“I’m afraid I won’t have the time for a while. With Iriel’s trial and everything else that comes with being Aureon, I am grateful to have returned to the longer days Xyrannis provides so that I can see you at least a few hours out of them,” he says.

Once again, his words make me feel warm as he voices his desire.

“Can I ask how the trial is going?” I ask.

Confusion appears on Remus’s face. “You can ask me anything you like,” he says.

“But to answer your question, it’s going as well as one would hope. His sentence will be passed on by the end of next week if things continue to run smoothly,” he says.

“And why wouldn’t they?” I ask.

“Leviathan are welcome to plead for his innocence. I wouldn’t be surprised if a few didn’t come forward to ask for leniency,” he says.

I shake my head in confusion. “Leniency? And you would just… give it to him?” I ask.

Remus shrugs.

“It is the council’s decision, not mine,” he says.

I scoff in disbelief, pulling his attention.

“Why is that even a possibility? The council wasn’t there. Why do they decide what happens?” I ask.

Remus notices my irritation, his expression falling blank as he studies me.

“Iriel is a Leviathan citizen who put his race at risk. And so, the council decides what happens to him,” he says.

“That’s bullshit,” I snap.

Now I have Remus’s full attention. He turns away from the shelf, standing tall as he closes the distance between us. I can’t tell if he is being threatening or just listening to my complaints, as my body is both terrified and excited that he is so close.

“Oh?” he asks.

I tense when I see the blue flecks within his irises gleaming in excitement.

“He…used us. All of us. Leniency shouldn’t be an option. He’s a coward who deserves death,” I murmur.

Remus laughs. “I’m sorry, but that isn’t how things work on Xyrannis.”

I release a bitter chuckle.

“Only on Earth, right? Humans who fought for their homes are given instant death without a trial, or worse, become slaves to your empire. But Leviathan, who plot against their own and their entire race, get a fair trial. And the possibility of Leniency,” I say.

Remus wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against him. His warmth is overwhelming.

“Yes. Because you are the conquered, so you do not make the rules,” he says simply.

I try to push away from him, but his grip tightens around me, his face devoid of amusement. He's realizing I am upset.

“Come now, Iris. I thought you put this behind you,” he says in disappointment.

My heart beats slightly faster from his tone and the strength of his grip. But my mind instantly shifts to his words to me before we left Earth.

“You won’t ever have to worry about my wrath ever again.”

“Let me go, Remus,” I say. My voice gives away how I feel, and I feel Remus’s grip tighten slightly before he finally releases me.

I shift my attention to the shelf, taking in the gifts he gave me to help me ease the suffering of losing my homeworld. And Remus’s true intentions are finally revealed to me. He wants this sadness to 

“You really don’t get how I feel. I can’t just make this go away. It is going to live inside of me for the rest of my life. And it will come and go as I grow, but I can’t just… put it behind me. It only happened a few months ago,” I say. “But you wouldn’t understand that, would you? You don’t understand anything, and I don’t know why I expected you to after you told me you can’t even remember being a child.”

Remus is stoic as I speak, hiding any emotion, if possible, from me. “You and me should not be together, Remus. You can’t expect this to work. You will never get me, you will never be able to relate to anything about me, and when I die in the short span of fifty years, you will forget I existed, but I will never forget how I feel being by your side—Ah!”

I cry out as my back is suddenly against the wall, with Remus between my legs, holding me between him and the wall. His expression is unreadable.

“You chose this. You chose, Iris.”

My body is overstimulated by his closeness. My skin prickles in excitement, and my heart beats wildly, yet I feel somewhat relieved. My body is warring with my mind as the effects of the bond intensify.

“Regardless of who I am, what I’ve done, how I emote… you chose me,” he growls.

I swallow my scream as he shifts before me. His eyes tremble the same way they did the day he bonded with me. His skin seems to illuminate as his hair gently floats, even though there is no breeze in here. I tense when I feel something shifting in my mind, my panic increasing.

Remus is using the bond. 

But it is both ways at this moment. The rush of foreign emotions is overwhelming, but not as terrifying as the darkness that swallows me as Remus’s most forefront emotion makes itself known in my mind—what I mistook as desire but is actually his unbridled obsession.