Pet: Revelations - Chapter Three (Patreon)

Iris

I can’t breathe. Each time I open my mouth, nothing goes in, and nothing comes out. The air is stuck, refusing to fill my lungs. My body is weighed down by an invisible force, making me unable to do anything to help myself. I can’t hold my chest, my throat; nothing. My mouth is open, my eyes wide as tears spill endlessly in the dark pit I have been subjected to. The warble surrounding me is both loud and quiet at the same time.

It’s torture pure and simple.

Suddenly, a pair of jeweled eyes that glimmer like an amethyst appear in front of me, glaring at me, giving me no choice but to die.

I jolt awake, choking as I drag in a breath too heavy and too intense for me. Warm hands wrap around my arms, holding me steady.

“Breathe, Iris…it was just a nightmare.” I know the voice, but I am paralyzed as the eyes from my dream appear in front of me, ripping a scream from my lungs. I try to pull away, begging to be left alive, but the hands hold me firm.

“It’s me. It’s Remus, Iris. You are safe,” he says, pulling me in close. Warmth pulses from his body, soothing me as I hyperventilate in his arms, but my mind slowly calms. I am Iris. He is Remus. I am on a ship bound for some place of unknown origin, placed here because… I don’t know.

He won’t tell me.

I want to push him away, but I can’t bring myself to do it as my fingers grip his clothes for life. I know my grip is going to cause wrinkles, but I can’t let go. My sobs slowly fill the air, and Remus holds me, gently stroking my back as he lets me cry through my pain.

This is my everyday, and every night. I can’t remember the last time I got a good night’s sleep. And being in space, with no indicator of time, is making it worse. Especially when I have no idea where we are going.

Remus holds me until he feels I am calm enough, then he pulls away, wiping my tears. The gesture is sweet, but I cannot bring myself to look at him—look into his eyes.

“I need to see Sky,” I say, shifting to get out of bed.

“You need rest. You’ve been there every second of every day,” he says, his grip on my arm gently pulling me back. I remain quiet as I try to calm myself down.

“How would I know what day it is? Or even what time of day it is? I don’t want to stay in here; it is torture for me,” I say, looking at the window that reveals nothing to me. No stars, no planets, nothing. It’s as if we are in the deepest part of space, aimlessly wandering.

Remus takes a breath, his finger drifting under my chin. He gently pulls my gaze to his. His eyes are startlingly bright, and though his hair is shorter from that day, he still keeps it pulled away from his face, letting me focus directly on the intimidating way his eyes gleam as he looks at me.

“Why won’t you look at me?” he asks. “Are you angry with me?”

“I—” I trail off, my answer hitching in my throat. I don’t know what to say. Of course, I am not angry with him. I am happy he is alive, and he has returned. But I am…terrified of him in this state, and I don’t know how to say that. I don’t know how to tell him that I want the version of him that taught me to swim and gave me his hairpin. The version that took me to discover parts of his world—parts that he loved enough to share with me.

Now, he thinks his world—his life is out of my depth. And the way his expression and gaze reflect that only pushes me further away.

“I just want to see Sky,” I murmur, gently placing my hand over his to remove his touch from my face. I note that as I do, the warmth I felt disappears, making me feel slightly colder, but now that I am looking away, I feel better.

I feel Remus’s gaze on me. I know he won’t push me. His patience is something of a virtue. And with everything we’ve been through, he sees me as more fragile than he ever has in the past.

“Visiting him won’t make him wake up any sooner. And you are always even more anxious after visiting with Sky,” Remus says, pulling my attention.

I slowly look up, forcing myself to look at him. His expression is blank as usual, but his gaze is focused.

He’s arguing with me.

“What?” I ask, breathlessly.

“You should take a break from seeing them for a few days. At least until your nightmares have calmed down,” he says.

My heart beats faster at this pushback. But I try to remain calm as I speak.

“My nightmares are not from them, Remus. You know why,” I say firmly.

“Yes…but visiting them raises your stress levels. It makes the nightmares worse,” he says.

I laugh in disbelief, pushing away from him to stand, and he lets me. His eyes follow my every movement, even the way I shift my weight to each leg as I dig deep for my bravery.

“You’re not keeping me in here. This,” I say, gesturing to the room, “Is not good for my health. Sky and Ezra have nothing to do with my nightmares.”

Remus doesn’t move as he studies me.

“I am not saying you have to stay here. I am asking that you just rest for—”

“No. My answer is no,” I say.

An uncomfortable silence settles in the air as we glare at one another. Remus takes a deep breath, standing. And I hate that he does. He closes the distance between us, reaching for my hand. My skin tingles from the contact.

“I am only looking out for your health. It pains me to see you suffer,” he says. His voice is gentle, melting away my fears as I look at our hands interlaced.

“I’m not going to push you to tell me what happened…If you think it would do more damage than good, then I won’t question that. But in return, I need you to let me live.” My vision blurs as tears spill. “Don’t push me on what to do… I can make my own decisions in this little box of freedom I have,” I say.

I can see that he is fighting with a part of himself that I am not used to. Sure, when we first met, he had his demands, and I was forced to follow them. But we have changed. Things have shifted. He said I was his equal.

I flinch when I suddenly feel heavy. I know instantly that it isn’t my own body making me feel this way. It’s coming from Remus. I try to pull my hand from his grip, but he holds me tight.

“Ngh…st-stop…” I moan, pulling uselessly against him. He doesn’t respond, however, and my legs can no longer support me as I fall into his arms. My eyes are heavy, but I can see him looking down at me with that frightening gaze.

“You…” I trail off, my tongue too heavy to get words out.

Remus doesn’t say anything, however. He just holds me, watching me without a hint of regret as he forces me to sleep, just to get his way. I fight as hard as I can, but the darkness overtakes me, and I fall into a deep sleep.

* * * * *

Remus

She will be angry with me when she awakens. But as long as her body is stronger, and her mind is a little less fractured when she does, I can take that anger. For days, I have watched her torture herself by going to Ezra’s bedside with Sky, both of them wallowing in the misery of their situations. And each time she returns, her nightmares have been worse. It takes her longer after every nightmare to recognize where she is and that she is no longer in danger.

I make sure I am gentle as I lay her back down. I thought I could somehow talk her into resting, making her think it was her decision, but my newfound power has clouded my judgment slightly. I’ve forgotten how headstrong she is, even if she cannot look me in the eyes.

She is terrified of me; that much is clear. But I don’t know if it’s because of what I did when my mind was shadowed, or her being so close to destruction on Xyrannis’s surface thanks to me. I am losing the ability to communicate with her, my mind closing itself off to that level of thinking. It is beneath me, and yet I am desperate to hold on to it for her.

Her breathing is deep as I lay her under the blankets, and I can’t help but study her. I need her. Especially now that my mind is beginning to settle. My memories have stopped coming, meaning everything is here, and it is maddening.

I take a deep breath, drifting my fingers across her cheek.

We will be arriving at our homeworld in a few days, and she will need all of her strength, whether she knows it or not. Her strength is my strength. So I will continue to do what I must to protect it, regardless of whether she grows to hate me for it.