Misfits - Chapter 32 (Patreon)

Cal. I’m standing by the back door watching him. He’s just sitting there. The sun is shining high in the sky reflecting off the clear blue pool water. He’s sitting on the edge of it with his legs immersed. He’s also not wearing a shirt, which gives me a perfect view of his tattoos. His body is littered in them. There are some that are terrifying to look at, and some that are beautiful.

I watch in fascination as he blows a puff of smoke from his lips. I’ve always hated cigarettes. The smell is nauseating and it does horrible things to your body. But watching Callum do it, he makes it look so mesmerizing.

He’s been nothing short of sweet and attentive to me and my needs. He really does seem like a man in love. It just makes me feel sad that I don’t remember him. There is something there though. Each time I go to sleep, I have strange dreams that may or may not be my memories. But I couldn’t imagine some of them being a memory.

“Are you alright princess?” I jump as Cal’s voice pulls me from my thoughts. He’s watching me with that intense amber gaze. I give him a soft smile.

“I’m fine,” I say. He always calls me princess. As if it’s my name. He doesn’t even think twice about it. I slowly move from my position, walking towards him. The whole way I move he watches me. I take a seat in the patio chair, watching him as well. What would have possessed me to fall in love with him. I don’t know him at all, and he terrifies me. Everything about him scares me. Yet he claims to love me and know everything about me.

“You don’t have to be afraid, princess. I would never hurt you,” he says as if reading my thoughts. I nod my head.

“Callum-”

“Cal.” He looks desperate for me to call him that. I look down at my feet before speaking again.

“You shouldn’t smoke those. It’s bad for your health,” I murmur. I hear a deep chuckle, and look up as Cal puts it out on the concrete.

“Sorry,” he says. I blink in surprise.

“Cal... Me and you... we..did we..” I can’t even get the question out. I’m so nervous around him. His eyes visibly darken. He knows that I’m trying to ask.

“Did we ever have sex?” He finishes for me. I look up, with wide eyes and he’s staring at me with an amused smile. I take note that his teeth are perfectly white and straight. You would never guess that he smoked. That gives me my answer before he even answers it.

“Yeah. We did," he says. I feel sadness fill me. Apparently, I loved him enough to give myself to him, and I can’t even remember the moment.

“You can talk to me, princess. If you have something you want to get off your chest, I’m here for you,” he says. He sounds so genuine.

“I just... I hate that I don’t remember you," I say truthfully.

“I want to be able to trust you, and feel everything that you feel for me..” I say. He gets up suddenly, and I flinch from the movement. Images of my father flash through my head. Cal notices immediately and pauses.

“I’m sorry. I forgot about your...fear of me,” he jokes, but I see the hurt behind his eyes. He moves closer to me and I watch him carefully.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble. He kneels in front of me, careful not to touch me.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything princess," he says. I study his face closely, my fingers are tingling to touch his face. I slowly reach up, and he immediately notices it. But I don’t stop. I press my fingertips against his cheek. His skin is so soft. So smooth. I flatten my palm against his cheek, and he closes his eyes, a small smile pulling at his full lips.

He really does love me.

“Why me, Cal,” I ask. He opens his eyes, and I can see those bright amber irises again. It’s an intimidating combination. But it works perfectly for him. My eyes travel to that necklace around his throat. It’s designed beautifully, that dark red in it caught my eye.

I look back at him, and he’s just staring. I can’t even read him. Not in the slightest.

“Tell me about us,” I say. For once since I’ve awoken, he looks shocked. I give a small laugh at his reaction.

Cal launches into an explanation of everything. How we met, how I ended up living with him, he even recalls the night of us being together. It surprises me how attentive he is. He tells me things about myself that no one knows. He tells me my habits and likes. He really does know me. To a T.

I don’t even realize that the sun is slowly setting until the orange glow casts over the sky. I look back to Cal, and he’s leaning against my thigh, gazing contentedly at the water. He’s beautiful. Intimidating, but beautiful. Our relationship sounds like something out of a fairy tale. I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever retain my memories.

“I missed you, Rue,” he speaks. He turns to look at me.

“Come on. Let’s get you something to eat.” He takes a hold of my hand, causing a jolt of electricity to shoot through me at the contact.

* * * * *

I try my best to eat, but Cal is making me insanely nervous. He’s just watching me.

“I make you nervous.” I look up, startled and Cal is gazing at me with those bright eyes.

“Yeah...,” I trail off looking around. He says it’s our home. But I can’t help but feel out of place. What am I doing to help him? Did I have a job? Did I graduate? And how could he afford all of this? He has a whole garage dedicated to cars. As in multiple. And they’re expensive cars at that.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks. I gaze at him, unsure if I should be honest, but Cal has made it his mission to let me know I can say anything to him.

“I feel like such a freeloader.” I joke looking around at the extravagant interior.

“I mean, how are you even keeping this place up by yourself? I can’t even remember you and you’re taking care of me as if we’re married or something,” I say. I notice Cal tense at the mention of marriage.

“Princess, you are not a freeloader at all,” he says.

“If it were up to me, you wouldn’t have even finished school, but you were so adamant about getting that degree.” He smiles as if remembering something.

“My job is to take care of you. No matter what.” He says it so seriously, I can’t help but believe him.

“I failed my job once before, I won’t do it again,” he says. This brings me back to what he said in the hospital about his boss stabbing me, which may have triggered the trauma that is keeping my memory at bay.

“Cal, what exactly do you do for a living?” I ask. I hadn’t thought about it in the hospital, because I was so disoriented and just trying to figure out what happened to me. But now the question is blatantly there. What kind of man did Cal work for that could kidnap and stab a woman just to control his employee?

I look at Cal, and he seems to be having an internal war with himself.

“I...” He trails off. He seems to be having a lot of trouble with saying anything to me about it, and that further scares me. He looks up at me, and I can see the pain in his gaze.

“What I do, is illegal, princess,” he says. I can tell he doesn’t want me to ask any further, but now I’m even more curious. Did I fall in love with a man that does something illegal?

“Do you sell drugs?” I ask. He lets out a laugh, shaking his head.

“Did I know about your job?” I ask. He rubs his hands over his face, and for once he’s avoiding eye contact with me.

“Yes. I told you... or rather, I showed you. And that’s when we started to have problems,” he says. And he sounds really hurt. So whatever he does, I’ve seen it and it was bad enough for us to have problems in behind it.

“I should have told you when I first met you, but I didn’t know that I was going to fall in love with you. And by the time I did, well...” He trails off once again. In the short time, I’ve re-known him, I haven’t seen him so fidgety and nervous around me before.

“If I tell you this, you’re going to leave me,” he mumbles looking down at the table. I reach out to reassure him.

“No, I won’t Cal,” I say. I see the bitter smile that crosses his face before he lifts his head to look at me.

“You did before.”

We sit in silence as I contemplate his words. Whatever he does is so bad that I wanted to leave him? He looks so hurt and broken at this moment, I can’t imagine him if I left. He seems so vulnerable. Even though I really want to know, I sit back in my seat and look at the picture on the far wall.

It’s me and Cal. He’s in an all-black tux, and I’m wearing a stunning red dress. I’m looking at the camera with a large smile, but Cal, he’s looking at me. There’s a small smile on his face. He’s gazing at me so adoringly in that picture. Can there be such a truth to true love conquering all? When I look at Cal, the way he watches me, I feel like he would go crazy if something happened to me. Could I shatter that illusion by asking the answer to a question that would ruin him?

I barely know him, yet I feel the love he has for me, and it makes me want to keep him happy. It’s a strange thing I know, but that’s the way I feel.

“This is delicious,” I say. He looks at me in shock, realizing that I purposely dropped the conversation. His eyes water slightly, and he lets out a breathy,

“Thank you.” I don’t know if it’s for the compliment or the fact that I dropped the conversation, but I feel happy that I did.

* * * * *

Cal

The weeks fly by with Rue. She’s growing more and more comfortable around me and healing as well. We were finally able to take the stitches out, and she’s able to move around without too much pain. Sometimes I catch her flinching in pain though if she moves too much or bends over. It makes me want to kill that bastard all over again.

Viktor has been keeping me busy with jobs as well. It seems like he has a new one for me every other day. And word has gotten around too. People now fear him more than ever. Not daring to cross him. It’s hard when Rue asks me where I’m going and I have to tell her I have a job. Because I know that one day, I’m going to have to tell her what I do. And she will remember all the times I left because of work.

She’s been acting a little strange around me lately, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because she’s beginning to remember things or not. It’s still hard for me to get her to talk to me. Even though she’s more comfortable around me, that doesn’t mean she is complete. I still see the hesitation in her body language.

And speaking of body. It’s been a literal hell not being able to touch her. Not even a hug, or a kiss. When she asked me if we had ever had sex before, I thought that was going to be my undoing. She just doesn’t realize how bad I want to bury myself between her legs and never leave.

Cold showers have been a regular thing for me lately, and my fist has been my best friend. I can’t even sleep with her because she is so afraid of me. I miss feeling her body underneath mine. I miss having her close to me and being able to touch her whenever I felt like it.

I pull out the admissions letter that I got in the mail. I have half a mind to throw it away, but I know that Rue wanted to finish college. And she’s a semester away from doing that. I can’t deny her of that. Not when she’s so close. And that seems to be the only thing she remembers from her time before Vitale.

I walk through the house looking for her. I finally find her in the living room. She’s sitting on the couch, gazing at a picture. As I ease closer, I see it’s the picture of her mother. I smile to myself. I remember when she was risking her life for that damn picture.

“Rue,” I say. She jumps up quickly whipping her gaze in my direction.

“Oh, Goodness Cal you scared me. Don’t sneak up on me like that!” she says. I give her an apologetic grin.

“Sorry, princess.” I am naturally a quiet person. It comes with the job. I don’t even realize I’m doing it most of the time.

“This came for you. They want to know if you’re going to continue next semester... apparently, you were really popular among your professors,” I add. She slowly takes the letter, gazing at it with wide eyes. Then she completely surprises me. Her lip begins to tremble, and tears slowly fall.

“Princess, what’s the matter?” I ask quickly moving next to her on the couch. I don’t even think as I pull her into an embrace, soothingly rubbing her back. It feels amazing to have her in my arms. I can feel her tears as they soak the front of my shirt, and her small hands pressed against my chest. My heart swells as I realize she’s taking my comfort.

“Tell me what’s wrong, princess,” I say.

“I... “ She tries to speak but her words won’t come out to form a coherent sentence.

“It’s ok baby,” I murmur. She spends a few minutes crying on my chest, and to my disappointment, she pulls away from me. She looks at me, with her tear-streaked face.

“My life is so messed up right now.. but I want more than anything to finish... what do I do, Cal?” she asks. As I gaze at her, I want to tell her to stay here and get herself in order. But I know Rue like the back of my hand. And I know that is not what she wants deep down.

I give her the best smile I can and reach out cupping her face and wiping her tears with my thumb.

“I think.. that you should go, and kick that last semester in the ass. You’re brilliant Rue. you got straight A’s. You’re so close, and I know that if you don’t take this chance, you’ll hate yourself forever. Because this... well this is what you’ve been enduring every day of pain for your whole life for. This is what will make you happy.” I say. She stares at me with wide eyes. Not speaking, and finally, she smiles. And embraces me. I slowly wrap my arms around her. Enjoying the feel of her body in mine.

“Thank you, Cal,” she whispers.

* * * * *

I stand in my room, gazing at the new job Viktor gave me. This one required me to be away for at least a week. That means a week Rue would be on her own. I let out an irritating sigh dropping it on the desk and walking to the bathroom as I pull my shirt over my head.

Another cold shower tonight it is.

I step back into my room so that I can throw my shirt in the laundry basket, and stop dead in my tracks. A raging hard-on immediately consumes me, and I swear my jaw drops. Rue is standing in the middle of my room naked. She’s looking at me with nervousness and excitement. I try and keep my gaze on her face but it is so hard to when her body is looking so inviting.

I’m the first to speak.

“Rue...” I trail off not knowing what the hell to say. She looks up at me through those thick lashes, and my body heats up even more as she nervously bites her lip.

“Cal, I want you to make love to me,” she whispers. I blink in shock. She wants me to sleep with her? She may not be a virgin in body, but she is in mind. And she wants to give that to me when she barely knows me? It’s only been a few weeks.

“Rue, you may be confused right now.. do you know what you’re asking of me?” I say. She gazes at me and licks her lips and I feel my argument slowly crumbling.

“Please.”

I’m across the room before the words leave her lips completely, picking her up and carrying her over to the bed. I feel her naked breasts pressed against my chest and her heated core on my stomach. Fucking shit.

We reach the bed, and I lay her down gently, crawling over her body, and lowering my lips to hers. I kiss her with everything in me, reminding her how much I love her. She kisses me back, and I can feel the hesitation, but it quickly disappears as I run my hands down her body. She lets out a moan as I knead her breasts, moving my hands down between her legs.

She’s soaking wet. Either I really turned her on, or she’s been thinking about this since before the moment she walked in here. I release my lips from hers and press kisses on her collar bone, moving up to her neck and sucking. She gasps aloud. That’s her favorite spot. I quickly keep my fingers on her breasts as I kiss down her front, pulling each nipple into my mouth and sucking it gently. I fell her fingers through my hair, and I have to fight my brain to stay gentle.

I slip a finger into her tight channel and murmur my approval.

“Shit,” I say aloud. I immediately lower my lips to hers, pushing my tongue into her mouth. She’s fucking perfect in every way.

I sit back immediately shedding my pants, and I’m back on her. My dick is raging hard, and I want to be inside her already, but I can’t. Not yet.

I kiss down her body until I’m between her legs. She tries to close her thighs, but I hold them open with my hands and push my tongue between her delicate folds. Her loud groan above me spurs me even further, as I lick and suck and pull between her legs. I push a finger inside her tight hole and move my tongue to the sensitive nub. That’s all it takes for her body to convulse. I keep licking her through her orgasm, her loud screams echoing off the walls, and I lap it all up.

Her body grows limp as her orgasm subsides, her breathing still hard. I place a kiss on top of her pelvis and move up to kiss her long and hard. As I pull up to look over her, her face is filled with ecstasy. She looks amazing. I push the curls out of her face.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, princess,” I say. She looks at me, and a small smile crosses her features. I’m still between her legs, so I position myself right at her entrance. But something stops me. My fucking conscience. She stares up at me with so much trust, and it kills me.

I let out a deep sigh. I can’t believe I’m fucking doing this.

“Princess,” I say moving away from her. I slowly walk across the room, grabbing my large T-shirt and pulling on a pair of pants. I take a seat on the edge of the bed, handing her the shirt. I can’t bear to look at her.

“I have to tell you something,” I say. I won’t make the same mistake I made last time. I hear shuffling and finally look. She has my shirt on. I take in all her features, remembering every last detail, because, after this, I may have to let her go.

I drop my head in my hands.

“I have to tell you, what I do for a living.”

“But you said-”

“I know what I said. And I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, you may not be a virgin, but in your mind you still are. And I can’t take that from you, without you knowing everything. I don’t want there to be any regrets,” I say. The words feel like molten metal in my mouth.

“I...” I turn my gaze, keeping it trained on the picture of us the night of Vitale's party. Rue looks so happy in it, so beautiful in that red dress. Fear is deep inside of my stomach as I think of her leaving me.

“I am a contract killer, Rue.” I close my eyes, dropping my head.

“I kill people, for a living. And I don’t feel any remorse about it."