Revelation - Chapter 1 (Patreon)

No. No no I can feel it. The sweet caress of darkness leaving me. The guaranteed nothing, where I don’t have to think of the horrors that await me when I open my eyes. Light slowly materializes through my eyelids, and I slowly open them, blinking away the sleep.

The sheets are soft, and the bed molds to the shape of my body so that I am completely held, and comforted in the soft mattress. The covers are made from a material I can’t describe, but it keeps me warm in this abnormally cool bedroom. I slowly sit up in bed, looking around the large room. The wall in front of me is a large window, and the rest of the room is black with random stars. It reminds me of space. The room’s color changes with the time of day, and now that it is morning, the sun is pouring through in this strange new world.

I sit up in bed, slowly pushing the blankets off of me. I know the routine. I know what will happen if I’m not up when Remus comes back in. So, I kick my legs over the side of the bed and wait. It’s been weeks since Remus’ awakening and the destruction of Leviathar. In the weeks Remus and I barely speak to each other. I rarely ever see Remus. He comes around a few times a day then leaves me. Leaving me to mourn everything alone. And God has it been hell.

I have seen no one since my arrival here, along with my rare interactions with Remus. Living in constant silence and seclusion with only my thoughts to keep my company has been torture, to say the least. Every time I close my eyes I see things from the past that is slowly chipping away at my emotions.

I look up when I hear footsteps. Sure, enough Remus is coming in with an expressionless face. His hair is pulled back with a jeweled pendant holding it in place. He is wearing his signature white, which consists of what seems to be royal clothing. I’ve been confined to this room since Remus’ awakening so seeing any other person hasn’t been a possibility for me to even begin to decipher the situation. Remus’ eyes fall on me, glowing bright purple. I wish I could figure out what he is feeling. I remember his pleading words in the vision we shared. But the way he is now it’s hard to imagine there ever was a time.

He doesn’t speak as he walks up to the bed, pausing in front of me. His gaze roams over my body and I have to fight the urge to squirm. He looks completely different than what he used to. He now has a silver symbol in the center of his forehead that is connected and disappears into his hairline. There are also two straight lines that are on the outside corners of his eyes and stop right above the corners of his mouth.

The amount of energy surging through him is visible as well. His hair is constantly moving as if there’s a breeze in here, but there isn’t. And his eyes shine even brighter than they used to. Even with all of this he still manages to terrify me from his lack of emotion. He steps in between my legs, reaching around me and pulling my hair off my shoulders. I feel his fingers tickling my neck and sharp pain. I used to tense up from the pain but now I’ve grown used to it.

I keep my gaze trained on the ground and try and keep my emotions at bay. Remus steps away from me, and I see the blue hue that connects to his palm. I stand from the bed following him into the bathroom. It’s strange I can feel his energy running through me. I can feel his control over me. I peak up at him and he has his back to me as he pushes open the door revealing the beige and marble bathroom.

He walks to the tub, pausing to look at me. His eyes grow gentle for a second.

“Are you ready?” he asks. 

I look at the marble tub. It’s an amazing tub that has been carved into the floor with an amazing view behind it revealing the world beyond. Yet I still feel my stomach coiling. I look back at him shaking my head. He nods his head in understanding and moves to the shower instead. Ever since I found out the truth behind the blood when I was at Ezra’s home, I can’t take baths anymore. My brain won’t let me. But Remus still asks me if I’m ready for one just in case I change my mind. I won’t.

He moves to the shower, placing his hand against the wall. The blue chain attaches itself to the wall, lighting it up in the process. The water turns on and Remus steps aside, watching me with careful eyes. I release a deep breath and shimmy out of my clothes all the while being watched by Remus. Once he’s satisfied with my actions he leaves the bathroom without another word.

I step under the hot spray, allowing it to cover me with warmth. In the wanderings of my mind, the world shifts to the explosion of that planet. I’m back on the sip with Xion and Ezra pleading next to me. All falling on deaf ears. I can see Remus staring out the window, watching his destruction unfold. And I can’t get that smile he has on his face out of my memory.

I open my eyes, stumbling from the memory, and immediately turn off the hot water. I place my head against the cool marble trying to catch my breath, but can’t. So I step out of the shower grabbing the nearest towel and pressing it against my soaked skin. My legs give out from under me and I land on the cold floor letting my tears fall. I push the fabric of the towel into my face, trying to mute my tears. But I should have known better.

The door opens and Remus is coming towards me.

“Iris?”

He says my name so gently. As if he genuinely cares deeply for me. I feel his hands on my back, and tense immediately shoving away from him. Memories of those same hands choking the life out of me and killing our child enter my head.

“Don’t...Touch me!” I scream. Silence falls over us, and I’m almost afraid to look. But I do. He’s watching me with a cautious gaze. He’s wrestling with an inner battle but decides against it. His hands drop to his side.

“Don’t...touch me....” I don’t know why I repeat myself. I just need space. More silence. The only sound is my soft sobs. I slowly stand, wrapping the towel around me and hastily wipe my eyes. I shove past Remus back into the bedroom embarrassed that he saw my moment of weakness. The room is dark, but as soon as I step inside the edges of the wall illuminate, lighting the room. I stand by the door to the balcony, looking out at nothing. My hands are wrapped around my waist, and I’m shaking. I try and slow my breathing, but it comes out in shaky breaths.

“Iris...” His voice is soft and gentle. The complete opposite of what he is. I think back to his words.

I turn and look at him. He looks like the same person, even with the new marking on his face. But somehow, he looks so different. I open my mouth to say something but immediately close it. Nothing I say will change the past, or who he is now.

I shake my head, turning my back to him.

“Don’t act like you care about me.” I whisper.

“Iris don’t be foolish-” I turn and look at him letting my anger shine through.

“I’m not! Stop treating me like I’m some naive child, Remus. I saw what you did. I know what you are. And you do not care about me!” I shout.

“You walk around here treating me like I’m your pet. You keep this damn leash around my neck and lock me wherever you think I can go. You don’t care about me. All you care about is controlling me,” I hiss. 

He glares at me with no expression on his face until he finally takes a step forward. Then another. And another. Until he is finally standing over me.

He reaches out, placing his finger underneath my chin, tilting my gaze up to meet his. His eyes are burning bright and his gaze isn’t amused.

“Control,” he repeats. The corners of his mouth turn up slightly.

“I don’t care about controlling you, Iris. No matter what you say or do, I control you. That’s a fact. Not a constant hassle.” His hand trails down my face until he is resting it over my collarbone.

“I told you I love you. And I meant that.” His eyes follow his hands.

“The ‘leash’ as you so eloquently put it, is for my peace of mind. And when I feel like I can trust you outside of these doors I will give you that freedom.” He leans down and presses a quick kiss on my lips, and turns away from me.

“But not a moment sooner.” He calls over his shoulder. He walks to the wall making it dissipate just in time for me to throw a book at the solid replacement.