Pet: Genesis - Chapter 47 (Patreon)

Iris 

The air is warm. The sky is blue and the water matches the color vividly. I take in the small hair pin in my hand. The same one Remus gave me the night of the celebration. While I was in the resistance it was a way for me to remember him, but he never left. I look up at the water as it brushes the shore only to dip back into the ocean. He was connected to me the entire time.

Remus is forcing me to make a decision. A conscious decision. I can choose my planet or him. I laugh bitterly at the turn of events. There’s no more fighting for it, no more rebellion. According to Remus we never stood a chance and after watching him and Xion tear through the resistance in under an hour, I agree with him.

It’s a terrifying thing being at the mercy of such a strong being. His idea of mercy was allowing us the free will to fight against what we thought was a close fight. He was sparing our feelings. I laugh aloud at the thought of it. Remus allowed us to wallow in our own suffering so that we wouldn’t have to face the might of his power. And now he is making me choose.

It should be an easy decision. The amount of betrayal and sadness I endured in the resistance is enough to make me crave the dreamless state of the inhibitor. The nightmares I have of Jude’s death, Cypress’s betrayal, and Iriel’s very real threat make me want nothing more than to step away from this world. Remus was right about one thing; I did see too much. It’s too much for me to handle. Even now my eyes burn with tears as I think of Jude’s meaningless death.

I still have yet to ask Remus about Cypress’s whereabouts or condition. I don’t care. Does it make me a terrible human for not caring? For not unconditionally loving him or my people? Remus knows exactly what he is doing. He is giving me a choice I never had in the first place. All this time he kept me alive with threats and the false idea that my planet would be liberated, but both of those are null and void. I can join my planet how I would have if he hadn’t found me, or I can live by his side.

I think of the night of the celebration. Throughout my time with Remus, I have slowly transitioned from a slave to the empire to… his equal. Even in our last days together he constantly reiterated my being by his side. Not his pet, but by his side. And that night, he kept me there. He treated me as if we were together and I was not beneath him. He was kind and patient. And now he still is even after all I have done. Before then, his attitude towards me was shifting. He constantly told me how he felt me and how he saw me. I just never truly acknowledged it until now.

He has changed. For me, he has changed. But for my people he has not and after the resistance’s reveal of their true plans I don’t think he ever will. Will it always be my job to fight for a planet that is lost?

I suffered for months secretly plotting against Remus, risking everything when it was all for nothing. I spent years of my life suffering in the blight with women I had grown up with after their invasion, only to find out that we were never on anyone’s radar to save. We were the bait. And even when I finally found my brother, the man in my memories that was kind and gentle, he never once treated me as his sister. From the moment we met, he saw me as a calculation in this war. I bring my knees to my chest, lowering my chin as my emotions seem to spin out of control.

I am truly alone.

I tense when I feel his presence. I know now that it is the bond between us. The emotions I felt in the resistance were his. The headache and pain I felt were because his essence was running rampant through my body without its owner to calm it down. And now as he comes near me on the wooden deck, I feel somewhat at ease.

Remus silently sits next to me reaching for my hand. He gently pulls the pendant from my grasp looking at it.

“You kept it,” he says. I nod my head. At the time I felt such heavy guilt for what I thought had killed him. Now that he is back I don’t know what to feel. Even his reaction to me is throwing me off. He refuses to punish me or at least be angry. He’s calm and patient.

“If I choose you, does that make me a traitor?” I ask.

Remus laughs next to me pulling my attention. He’s looking at the pendant in his hand with an actual smile on his lips. His gaze shifts to focus on me as he speaks.

“You’ve done this from the moment I met you, you know,” he says in amusement.

“You think choosing to give in to your true desires places you on a side. Life is not black and white, Iris. It is gray. It is deeper than gray it is a tumultuous mix of the colors not once solidifying to form a permanent one. Nothing about it is certain. I’ve told you this before. Admitting your planet is beautiful does not put you on the Leviathan side. Enjoying the pleasures of sex does not put you on the Leviathan side. Choosing life over an empty existence does not make you a traitor. If you think choosing me will mean you turned your back on your planet, then don’t choose me.”

Remus’s expression shifts as he reaches for my face. His knuckles gently brush against my cheek as he admires my features.

“Choose life,” he whispers.

“You fought for them, you sacrificed for them, and you were betrayed by them. What is this guilt that clings so heavily to you?” he asks, “When will you make a decision that makes you happy?”

I know now that he is genuinely confused by my emotions. The day he bonded with me, we sat inside and he explained that he never understood me. It was something that drew him to me.

“I can give you life under an inhibitor. If you wish to drift into nothing for the sake of a race that doesn’t even know your name.”

I shake my head in confusion.

“Why would you do that for me? Why wouldn’t you just… force me to stay by your side? Why do you want me to make this decision?” I ask. Remus pulls his hand away from my face, seeming to think about what it is he’s going to say next.

“You will continue to fight me if it is not what you want. I see that now and I do not wish to force you.”

“And if I choose the inhibitor?” I ask. Remus studies me heavily before he leans close to me, pushing my hair aside. He gently places his lips against mine, his thumb lightly moving across my cheek as he kisses me.

He pulls away, his purple gaze vivid as he looks at me.

“Then I have genuinely enjoyed our time together, Iris.”

He holds his hand out to me and I look down to see the inhibitor in his hand. It’s strange something so small can control my entire being for the rest of my life. My fingers tremble as I reach for the silver dot in his hand. It’s so small, so light. My gaze shifts to Remus. He is once again focused on me, intensely studying me so that he can somehow understand me and my reaction.

My head is spinning as I try and come to a decision, a decision for myself. Will I truly be happy by his side? Will I truly be happy letting go of my race? Can I live with myself?

I suck in a deep breath, finally coming to a decision.