Deadly Vows - Chapter 43 (Patreon)

Elise

Never in a million years would I have thought I would want Luca’s presence, but here I am, watching the door, hoping he’ll walk through any second. But he doesn’t. Nicolai tries to give me a reassuring smile every time I look toward the door, but it doesn’t help. I feel like someone is going to get me unless Luca is here with me.

“So this is where you live?”

Eli’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. He is looking around at my home in fascination. Rocco is sitting at my feet, with his tongue lolling out of his head. He really seems to be happy about seeing me.

“You know, I remember you saying your husband was important, but damn …” He is still talking about the house.

“How’d you end up here?” I ask.

He looks at me with a raised eyebrow. “Your husband said you could use some company. He said you spoke highly of us.”

I eye him skeptically. That isn’t all he told him. Eli is acting different. I look back toward where Nicolai is standing, and he gives me another reassuring smile. I motion for him to come over, and he hurries to my direction.

“Have you gotten a call from Luca?” I say.

He shakes his head, and I feel my stomach drop. I have been so dependent on him. I need him. I only recently got to the point where I can function without him being in the room. But I have to know which room he is in at least. And how long he’ll be gone.

The nightmares have gotten worse. Every time I close my eyes, I am in a horrible situation. The nightmares with Alexander have thinned out. Now it is just with someone that I don’t know. Not even a face, but a dark figure that is torturing me. And instead of me being able to escape, there is no way out. Sometimes the dreams end in my child being ripped away from me. And Luca doesn’t rescue us.

I am having a hard time adjusting to his absence currently. I feel so paranoid about everything. Every time I round the corner, if I am just standing in the kitchen, I feel like someone is watching me, about to snatch me up to get to Luca. Or worse, the life growing inside of me. I am more than excited that we are having this baby and Luca is growing to accept him, but as the term drags on, more and more doubt wells up inside of me.

If the world finds out about our bundle of joy, enemies left and right will come and try to end him. And what better time to get to him than when he is still growing inside his mother’s womb? Not only that, but since it is a boy, that means he is going to one day inherit this empire. Which means when he is born, Luca will begin grooming him once he is old enough. Of course, that isn’t what I want for my son, but I don’t really have a choice in the matter.

I am shocked out of my thoughts as Eli snaps his fingers in front of my face.

“Hello? Anybody home? Gosh, girl, you seem out of it.”

I feel my face burning and let out a sheepish laugh. “Sorry. My mind is just somewhere else right now,” I say.

He looks like he is still concerned. “So what have you been doing in the time you’ve been home? Anything particular?” he says.

“Not really. I’ve just been trying to adjust. How’d you get out here?” I ask.

“Well, your husband is a very convincing man, and we just couldn’t refuse the invitation. Besides, he paid for airfare and everything, so …” He shrugs, as if it were nothing, but I know Luca. I’m sure he didn’t politely ask him out here.

“How’s your leg?” I ask.

He motions to his leg. “Well, I have to say that I’ve never been on crutches before, so it’s been a little difficult, but I’ll make it.” “And you didn’t go to the police?” I ask, really hoping he didn’t. If Luca finds out, he’ll have him taken care of.

He shakes his head. “No. I remember what you said about your husband, so I figured it wouldn’t be the smartest move. I watch the movies.” He gives me a smile, and I can’t help a small giggle that escapes my lips.

“Yeah, well, this life is nothing like the movies. If anything, the movies downplay it,” I say honestly.

He shrugs his shoulders. “So your husband … he’s not really a people person, is he?” he says.

I know that tone. “What did he do?”

He gives an off laugh. “Oh, nothing too bad, just kicked my crutches out from under me because I didn’t say hello. I mean, honestly, I thought I had every right to not say hello, seeing as he put me on these things in the first place,” he says.

“I’m sorry, he’s just used to things going his way,” I say.

“Yeah, obviously.” He points to my stomach. “So you guys know what you’re having?”

“A boy.”

He leans back in his chair. “Great, a mini version of your husband.” He says it jokingly, not knowing how spot-on he is. Once this baby is old enough, Luca is going to train him to be just like him.

“You okay? You seem different.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, just a little shaken. I can’t help but feel like something bad is going to happen. I’m going to be stuck with someone as bad as that man was and I’ll never be saved.”

I feel his hand over mine and immediately jerk back, looking around. Nicolai is watching us from the doorway. “You can’t touch me like that,” I say.

He raises his hands. “Okay, okay, sorry. I’m just really sorry that whatever happened to you happened. I can tell it must have been horrible. You look like you haven’t slept in days, and I see the way you keep looking around.”

I let out a deep breath.

“It sounds like you may have PTSD. The paranoia, the nightmares … you seemed fine when you were with me, but even then, I could tell you were a little bothered by something. And it’s gotten worse since then.” I look away.

We continue to talk as the sun sets and nightfall begins to take over. I look over, and Nicolai is still standing in the doorway, fully alert.

“Well, I think it’s time for me to turn in and go to sleep. I’m exhausted,” I say.

Eli smiles at me in understanding. “Yeah, you need all the sleep you can get before that little guy gets here.”

I laugh at his response. He gives me a hug, and I pet Rocco one last time before one of Luca’s men walks him out.

I walk toward Nicolai, and he looks at me knowing what I am about to ask.

“Have you heard from Luca?”

He looks as though he is about to lie to me but thinks better of it. “No.”

I can feel my eyes widening as fear creeps up my spine. Why hasn’t he called? Could something have happened? I can feel a fullblown panic attack forming in my chest.

Nicolai places his hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eyes. “I’m sure everything is fine, Elise. He had important business to take care of tonight, and he probably is just too busy to call. You’re completely safe here, okay?”

I nod, but his words fall on deaf ears. If Luca isn’t here, I am not safe.

I push past Nicolai into the house, walking to the kitchen for a drink of water. I step in to see Matteo picking at some food on his plate. He looks up when he sees me.

“Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

I nod vigorously, heading to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water. I hate how frightened I am. The anxiety I have is building by the second. I feel like I am going to explode into a fit of screams any minute now. I jump as I feel something on my shoulder, a loud scream escaping my lips.

Matteo is right behind me and looks shocked. He takes a step back.

“I was just trying to talk to you,” he says.

I nod. “I know, I’m sorry.” I don’t wait for him to respond as I run out of the kitchen to find Nicolai. The clock reads 11:47. I see Nicolai standing in the foyer.

“Nicolai.” His shoulders tense, and he turns around to face me. I can already tell by the expression on his face the answer to my unasked question.

“Please tell me Luca is on his way home.”

He lets out a deep sigh, shaking his head. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes as pure fear begins coursing through my veins. My arms feel tingly, as if someone is watching me, and the paranoia is beginning to set in.

“Call him,” I say.

Nicolai looks shocked. “Uh, ma’am?”

“I said, call him. Now.” I try to emphasize the urgency.

He slowly pulls his phone out, dialing Luca and handing it to me. It only rings once before Luca picks up.

“This better be fucking important,” he growls into the phone.

I flinch from his tone, memories flashing into my head. “I … I …”

“Elise?” His whole tone completely changes. “Are you okay? What’s going on? Are you hurt? Is it the baby?” He starts asking me one question after another.

“No, no, everything’s fine. I just wanted to know when you’d be home,” I say.

He lets out a long breath. “Elise, I want you to go shower. Get Nicolai once you’re dressed and tell him to search the room while you’re there. Once he’s done, get in bed. Close all the windows and lock them and close the bedroom door. He will be standing guard outside your room along with my most trusted men, okay?” He once again is speaking to me as if I am a five-year-old. I guess with my behavior, I am acting like one. I am like a child afraid of the dark.

“Elise,” his voice comes through the phone once again, and I realize I haven’t responded to him.

“When will you be home?” I ask again. There is a pause on the other end.

“I promise I’ll be home by the time you wake up, beautiful.” His voice comes out like silk, and I know he is trying to sweet-talk me. “I love you, okay?” he says into the phone.

My heart is pounding in my chest. Earlier, I hadn’t thought about it when I responded to him, and it was so quiet he hadn’t even heard me when I said it. But now, on the phone, I have every chance to say it back. But am I sure of my feelings? Am I only feeling this way because I am scared?

“Hand the phone to Nicolai,” he says.

I frown, a little disappointed, but give in, giving the phone to Nicolai and heading upstairs.

Later, I am standing by the doorway as Nicolai does a thorough search of the room. He walks toward me with a soft smile on his face.

“Looks like the boogeyman won’t be getting you tonight, Mrs. Pasquino.” He heads to the door, pulling it close behind him. “I’ll be right outside. Luca will be home any minute now, okay? Sweet dreams.” The door closes, leaving me in the bedroom alone.

I slowly walk to the bed, getting under the plush covers. As soon as I close my eyes, I feel a pressure in my stomach. He is kicking again.

“You always decide to act up when I’m going to sleep,” I mumble. I can’t help the small smile that creeps on my face. I place my hand over my stomach and feel where he is kicking. In a few months, I am going to be a mother, and Luca a father.

I am excited but, at the same time, terrified. Once he is the right age, Luca is going to take my baby boy and train him to be a coldblooded killer. And that is the last thing I wanted for my son. I want him to be kind and gentle. I want him to have a chance at life and to love and be loved. I know there is no choice for him in the matter, though. Luca’s father and mine are a clear example of what I don’t want to happen to him.

I know what he is meant to do, but I want him to know the difference between duty and family. I want him to know what love is. Maybe I can make some kind of arrangement with Luca. Maybe I can talk him out of turning our son cruel.

I let out a loud laugh. As if that is possible. Born in blood— that is what we are. This is a part of us. There are no exceptions, no escape. Just accepting what is.

I rub my stomach as a new thought comes over me. With everything that is going on, Luca and I have hardly had a chance to come up with what he will be named. I will have to discuss it with him as soon as he gets home and things settle down.