The Ice Queen - "Our Past" Ch. 15 (Patreon)

Cassian

When I was a child, my father would explain to me what it meant to be the high king of the Dragonborn. He would ensure that I knew what connected all of us among the Ancients, not just our rule and power, but our connection to nature itself. We are the bridge between the elements and the people that live among them.

I’ve forgotten what makes me a Dragonborn. I’ve packed away what makes us Ancients, fearing what the world around me has become. But she has awakened that in me once more, as she did when she wandered into my camp as a child. And as she did when she was brought into my castle as a woman. 

I feel the same effect she had on my men, the ones that left my side because they saw in her what I failed to see. They saw her as more than the Ikniri that wiped out our people. They saw her as I see her now, the bridge between our worlds. She is the key to a better future with not only hers but my people. And I almost missed that.

I’m pulled out of my thoughts as the sound of her footsteps echoes over the cliffside.

“Neytiri!”

She ignores my warning, blurring past me over the cliffside. Her screams fill the air on the way down as she falls parallel to the waterfall, splashing into the natural pool below. I quickly move to the edge of the cliff searching the water for her when she breaks the surface, her excited laughter drifting to the top of the cavern.

A laugh escapes me as I watch her float on her back, glee radiating from her every pore. We came to this island to deter her power and get her away from the stress of being on Brineau. But she’s been exploring the island every day with fervor since our flight. For the first time since she awakened, I see no traces of fear.

She embodies what it means to be an Ancient.

I have lost my way, pushing down my instincts to appease humanity. But her, from the moment she awakened never wanted to do such a thing. And I feel like a fool for trying to ask that of her, especially now that I see how much freedom is affecting her power. She’s had no slip-ups and no blackouts. It’s almost as if the magic coursing through her veins has leveled out, not trying to escape any longer.

I watch her curiously as she places her hands on the surface of the water, creating a blanket of ice thick enough for her to crawl out of the water and sit on it. She lays back on the ice as it floats, following the current of the river closing her eyes in bliss.

A laugh escapes me as I watch her, her words once again standing out in my mind.

“This is what it is to be free… this is what I want for us. For all of us.”

I didn’t fully understand her words when she kept trying to convince me that I have changed. I am the king of the skies, I always will be. I am the high king of the Dragonborn. But I haven’t given in to my true form in such a long time, I forgot what that freedom felt like. I forgot what joy and carefree bliss flying above the clouds brought. Flying with her made me realize she was right.

I have lost myself.

So, I’ve placed our time on the island in her hands. And every day that comes with that, she has reminded me of what it is to be an Ancient. Every day with her has been an adventure. And although I bought this island, I’ve never explored it in such depth. Neytiri has opened my eyes to what this place truly is other than somewhere to hide. It’s somewhere to live.

I originally bought this island for my people. But the looming threat of humanity and their weapons deterred my decision, and I placed them on the same island as Neytiri's, separating them. Seeing her like this and the way she forces me to embrace it as well, I once again see this as a home for our people.

Guilt pulls at my chest as I think of all the time we’ve spent within the forest of the island. She spends more time outside than she does in the villa. Sometimes, I think taming her so soon after her awakening is what forced her power to spiral out of control. Freedom is something her people are known for. The stories of the Ikniri traveling to offer aid to villages are what set them apart from the other ancients. They were never afraid to step outside of their own.

Freedom is as important to them as breathing air.

“Are you coming, Dragonborn?”

I look down and Neytiri is now standing on the sheet of ice she created, a challenging grin on her lips as she watches me. I enjoy seeing her like this. This is the type of queen I know she can be for her people. She is not bound by the rules of modern-day society. She is free within the world she knew when she fell into her slumber. I’m excited to see her grow like this for us.

I stand at the edge of the cliff finding myself once again drawn to her nature, indulging her wishes as I plummet into the water below.

* * * * *

Neytiri

I never imagined I would enjoy my time on this island. When we first arrived it was too hot and I was confined to a foreign home. In the days since Cassian’s flight, my every day has been filled with covering more ground. I don’t know how deep into the forest we are, but we’ve been traveling through the brush for days. And Cassian has yet to make us return. He follows my trail, holding onto my every wish. I feel more at ease with him like this. And I feel more like myself than I have in a long time.

I tie up the last fish as Cassian comes back from the far side of the river.

In our days together, I feel closer to him. The fear I felt has somewhat died down. At my core, I know who Cassian is. I’ve always known. He’s been kind and gentle yet firm throughout my life. When I returned to him at the hands of Loris, I didn’t have my memories. And he didn’t force them on me. Up until the end of our time together, he was the same being I had known in my past. But when the time came to take his revenge, he didn’t care that it was me in his way, and he didn’t see me as Neytiri. He saw me as an Ikniri. It’s only a stroke of fate that I survived for him to right his wrong.

These days, he almost seems like his past self. He’s less restrained. He seems more like the king that brought me to the cave for a swim and comforted me during the thunderstorm. And that is the Cassian I can grow to trust.

Cassian is only wearing a pair of low-slung pants, his bare chest covered in the markings of his people. His expression is indifferent as he approaches, a smile forming to show his dimple when he sees the fish hanging from the tree.

“I was gone for thirty minutes,” he says gesturing to the multiple fish. He’s silent as he steps past me, lighting the pyre with his bare hands. The fire catches, burning bright as we wait for it to grow hot enough to cook the fish. I nod in thanks, silently strapping the fish above the fire to cook them when Cassian speaks.

“This life suits you,” he says turning my words against me.

I look at Cassian and he’s watching me with a gentle expression, his dark eyes glowing in admiration. He smiles, looking into the flames.

“It’s been so long since the time of the Ancients. You still embody the spirit.”

I smile softly going back to my task.

“It has been difficult assimilating to your way of life. Things have changed a lot since our time."

“Thank you for this.”

Cassian doesn’t respond, and when I look at him he’s studying me with an intensity that causes my body to react. I immediately look away from him, focusing on the fire. After a moment, my attention is drawn to the trees and the mountains in the distance. Cassian said he bought this island and created Brineua.

“How many of these do you own?” I ask referring to the island.

“Only three.”

I draw my knees to my chest looking into the flames once more.

“Why did you buy them if not to put our people on them?” I ask.

“That was my plan originally. But it would have been too dangerous to have us spread apart by hours. I can’t protect everyone that way.”

“But you don’t have to. You have Caius, Ulric, plenty of your men, and my own willing to protect our people. And you have me, Cassian. I would die for them you know this.”

Cassian releases a bitter chuckle.

“I know this all too well.”

A silence overcomes us as the weight of his words sinks in. It feels like a taboo between us, talking about what happened that night. We’re both aware of the history behind both of our people’s deaths, but we’ve never spoken of it. I suck in a deep breath, poking my finger in the sand. I slowly release the chill of my ice, watching the sand react as I speak.

“What happened… that night?”

Silence.

I look up and Cassian’s expression is stoic as he stares into the flames. I can see him wrestling with himself on whether or not to tell me. But after a moment, his eyes soften and he finally speaks. 

“It was the night of a celebration. Any Dragonborn from a noble family was there. And all of them were near to celebrate within the kingdom. My sister saved my life and anyone else that survived that night. She grew tired of the festivities and asked me to tuck her in. Not my mother and not my father, me. And because I put her to sleep, I wasn’t there when they ambushed the ballroom. They locked the doors and sealed them shut with their ice. And they attacked. If it wasn’t for Caius protecting me, I never would have been able to break the door down eventually. But I was too late. My father held them off for as long as he could, but he was old. And they killed him in front of me. I did what I could to protect what was left. I couldn’t leave the ballroom because that’s where they actively attacked. I didn’t think they would be cruel enough to hunt down Aurora and make her a casualty as well.”

My eyes are wide from his words as horror washes over me. I knew my brothers led an attack, but I didn’t know how devastating it was, and how close Cassian was to being part of it.

“I-”

“Don’t say you’re sorry. I’ve seen what my retaliation was like for you. You lived the same experience I did. You have more than paid for your people’s sins.”

I watch Cassian in confusion.

“You saw?”

Cassian nods.

“We share a blood oath. And sometimes your dreams will slip into my own.”

Silence once again washes over us and I look at my palms. I don’t feel like I’m losing control as we speak, so I continue.

“My brothers were responsible for the attack.”

Cassian shifts next to me, and I feel the intensity of his gaze as he glares at me.

“My people overstepped. And as punishment, your father proposed a marriage. I was the only daughter my father had, and I was young. Your father commanded I be raised in the dragon lands, away from my people. And when I became of age, I was to marry… you,” I say finally revealing the truth I've held fast to since my memories returned. 

Tears blur my vision and I draw my knees to my chest as I find the courage to look at Cassian. I expect to see rage, but I don’t. He’s watching me with heavy regret.

“My father wasn’t going to fight this demand. He was going to send me away. But when he told my brothers, they were outraged. And Kesuk decided my father’s rule was no longer to be followed. They took me from my childhood home, and they planned their attack.”

My gaze remains locked on Cassians and I let the tears fall as I shrug.

“A few weeks later the Dragonborn returned the favor in full. It was Caius who killed my family. Kesuk and my mother gave up when Siku died. He died protecting her. He took a sword through his throat for her. Kesuk died protecting me."

I hold my hand up, looking at my palm as the memory of my brother's last moments fills my mind.

"I was with him in his last moments. I can still see his smile... I can smell the blood. He hugged me and held me tight, using his last breaths to store away any memory I had of what I saw and knew."

I laugh bitterly as my tears fall into the sand, breaking Cassian’s gaze. My body heat dips, the chill of my power forming on the surface of my flesh as my emotions thicken. 

“Fate is cruel. In the end, both of our families died for nothing.”

I tense when I hear Cassian move. His body is warm next to mine but it isn’t discomforting as it was in the past. He places his arm around me, pulling me in close as he presses a kiss on my head. Contrary to the past, my skin doesn't harm him.

“Look at me, Neytiri.”

I slowly lift my gaze.

“If it was the intention of the gods for us to marry that long ago, and we somehow found our way together even still, then we must honor our family in this way. Our families did not die for nothing. We will ensure that. Okay? We will build the legacies of both our people for their sake, and honor their memory by creating a union of two Ancients they can be proud of. Never think you have failed them.”

He gently places his hand against my jaw, smiling softly. I release a soft gasp when I see his eyes glistening as he speaks. 

"Your very existence is a success." 

I slowly nod my head, trying to take comfort in his words. I don’t know what he is thinking about this revelation, and he is very good at hiding his true feelings. So, I lean against him as we both silently mourn the ghosts of our families.