The Ice Queen - "Walls Come Down" Ch. 21 (Patreon)

Neytiri

Something has shifted since my return.

The men that usually surround me with happiness seem to be on edge. Caius hasn’t been to the estate since I awoke, and Ulric has been glued to my side, watching me even as I walk. The tension is in the air and it isn’t difficult to figure out why. The attack on the island was terrifying for everyone, not just me. We had no idea something like that could and would happen. Our secrets and lives were almost exposed.

And although I thought my time on the island helped control my power and get rid of my blackouts, I was wrong. My power is as uncontrollable as ever, and somehow I killed people with it, and I don’t even remember the act. It’s scary to think of what else could happen if I lost control. Now that my mind has had time to understand just how dangerous I am, I see that Cassian was right. It wasn’t safe for me to see my people, and I’m glad he kept me away so as not to harm them. I couldn’t live with myself if something like that happened.

I flinch, looking in the direction of the estate as a foreign feeling washes over me. The emotion isn’t mine, but it lingers in the back of my mind.

It’s Cassian.

I recognize this feeling from the day on the island. It’s our blood oath. My gaze shifts to Ulric who is still watching me with a blank expression. Cassian’s emotions are in turmoil. They’re not as controlled as usual, each sending a wave of sadness over me. I laugh softly to myself. Now that I have somewhat grown as an Ikniri, the oath between us is stronger. I can sense Cassian in ways I never did before, including his power, which right now seems to be out of his control.

My gaze shifts to Ulric.

“I’m returning now.”

As I make my way into the estate, the scent of smoke assaults me. My eyes quickly roam the halls, but it doesn’t seem like there’s been a fire. As I make my way through the halls, my footsteps falter when I pass Cassian’s office. Or rather, what’s left? I release a soft gasp, pushing the charred door open. The walls are black and the furniture is singed. Any papers that were in the office have been burned as well, as smoke still rises from the hot furniture.

“What the hell?”

I hear Ulric murmur behind me as he steps into the office, concern on his features. Before I can speak, the sound of a piano lilts up the hall. I make my way back into the hall, going in search of the music when I feel Ulric’s hand on my shoulder.

“Your Majesty, I don’t think he would want you to see him like this.”

I frown, shrugging Ulric off. Everyone’s treating me like I’m still a naive Ikniri. But I am not any longer. And I can’t continue to run away from Cassian whenever someone tells me to. If I want to be treated as a queen, I should start acting like one. If I want to unite our people, I need to become comfortable in the face of the Dragonborn I married centuries ago. It's time I let go of the past. 

“It’s okay. I can handle him. You should go.”

Ulric’s frown deepens.

“But-”

“That wasn’t a request, Ulric.”

My voice is firm, pulling his attention. He watches me steadily for a moment before taking a step back, bowing.

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

I watch as he disappears up the hall before turning to follow the direction of the music. As I go in search of its player, I feel a sense of deja vu. My early days in the castle were visited by thunderstorms, something we didn’t get in the forests. I roamed the halls eventually finding Cassian at a piano, in the dark.

And as I stand before the door, I realize the music that pours through the estate is a somber song. I don’t speak as I push the door open. Cassian is at the piano, his back to me. His hair is free as a thick smog covers the room. I know this smog.

Hedon.

As I step deeper into the room, I notice the almost empty decanter sitting atop the piano. My heart sinks as I take in the painting beyond where he sits on the far wall. I don’t recognize the people in it, but I know Cassian. He’s standing next to a beautiful woman whose features he shares only slightly. He’s definitely young in the painting, his hair only reaching his upper shoulders. The woman he’s standing next to is holding a small girl in her arms. She has a large smile on her face, her eyes matching her parents. And the man standing over all of them has his hand on the woman’s shoulder and Cassian’s, a gentle smile on his lips. He and Cassian look a lot alike.

The entire family wears crowns. It’s Cassian’s family.

My gaze shifts to Cassian. He hasn’t noticed my entrance yet. And now I see why Ulric didn’t want me to bother him. He’s in pain.

I inhale deeply, making my way into the room and Cassian hears me. The music stops instantly and he whips his deadly gaze around landing on me immediately. My heart beats a little harder as his gaze narrows. I see no kindness in his gaze, no patience. Only darkness.

“What are you doing here?”

His tone is cold; angry.

“I felt something was off. I only came to check on you and make sure you’re okay,” I whisper.

Cassian releases a bitter laugh, pushing down the keys to release an unpleasant melody. He raises his face to the ceiling.

“Am I okay?”

He repeats my words with no humor. He once again chuckles, lowering his head.

“I’ve lost everything. All my father’s fears have been realized. My people grow resentful…"

I silently move to stand behind him. I’ve always seen Cassian as strength and confidence. But seeing him like this and feeling his true emotions is devastating. He’s exhausted. I gently place my hands along his shoulders, pulling his attention. He turns to look at me, his gaze filled with confusion as I offer him a soft smile.

I pull him in for a hug, his face resting against my stomach as I run my fingers through his hair.

“Heavy hangs the head,” I say.

After a moment, I sit next to him, mustering up the courage to speak openly.

“But you no longer have to carry this burden alone. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize what it means to be a ruler. And to see you as you are now.”

I gently place my hand along Cassian’s jaw, his skin warm beneath my palm. As I do so, it’s as if I’m watching his demeanor shift in front of me. His shoulders relax and his anger melts away as he closes his eyes, leaning into my touch. He covers my hand with his own, reveling in my touch.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask.

Cassian opens his eyes, his dark gaze that once terrified me, pulling me in. He pulls my hand from his cheek, placing a soft kiss on my palm.

“No… I don’t want to talk.”

My eyes widen as he leans into me, the heat from his body suffocating. He hesitates, the space between us feeling like torture, and I close the gap placing my lips over his.

Cassian is once again hesitant, but I press into the kiss, deepening it and he finally relents. His body is warm against mine as his hands grip my waist, pulling me into him. His other hand slips into my hair, gently gripping me to deepen the kiss, his tongue tracing my bottom lip.

I instinctively open my mouth for him, my moan filling the room as pleasure is awakened within me. A warm glow rests deep in my belly, shifting lower as his hands roam, bringing me alive with him. I place my hands in his hair, holding him against me as he breaks the kiss, his lips trailing over my collarbone. His kisses leave a trail of scorching heat as his tongue dips out to lave at my sensitive flesh, and all I can do is tilt my head back, silently pleading for him to continue.

I don’t know what’s come over me between now and my time awakening. I don’t fear him, if anything I feel like I know every piece of him now more than I ever did. In the past when we did this, I didn’t know who he was or his true motives. I was fooled and my naivete was taken advantage of. But Cassian and I have shared our pain. I understand him on a level that no one else can. And that brings me comfort in his arms.

Cassian lifts me with ease, never breaking the kiss as he carries me through the estate. My head is spinning when he finally releases me to drop me on the soft bed, stepping back to pull his shirt off. I take him in as he crawls onto the bed, the symbols on his arms fascinating to see. The Dragonborn and Ikniri have different symbols and different meanings for coming into them, and as I study him, I find myself wondering what he’s accomplished throughout his life.

I gently place my hands against his chest, some scars becoming visible to me. Cassian tenses, but lets me. He doesn’t speak as I explore his body with my hands, learning more about him as I do so. And when I look up, he’s watching me with a gentle expression, a lazy smile on his lips.

“Come here,” he murmurs as he pulls me in for another kiss.