Imperfection - Chapter Six (Patreon)

Olwen

“Regardless of how things turned out, I’m proud of you for what you did, Olwen.”

I smile at my father as I take a sip of tea. I knew he would be proud of my decision to speak out. He’s always wanted to instill individuality in me and my brother. I think it landed more in my brother than in me. In my eyes, I was born to make Etherium better. Everything that comes after that is meaningless. But my brother has always let his emotions lead his decisions.

“Thank you,” I say.

My punishment has stretched longer than I thought it would. I can only assume Gaius had something to do with it at this point. The king has extended my stay in the capital even though none of the tasks given to me have not been difficult. Someone from the local government could have handled it easily as everything in this state of affairs is child’s play.

I take a sip of my drink, enjoying the light flavor before speaking to my father.

“I know he’s only trying to show me that I am not as important as I think I am. Before long, he will see that his advisors have too differing opinions and I will be called back to resolve an issue bigger than them. I’ll just bide my time until then,” I say.

My father chuckles, pulling my attention.

“Bide your time? Olwen, you’ve been headstrong since you could walk. Are you sure you are okay with the king casting you out because you solved one of his problems? Just because he is the monarch does not mean he is always right. That is why you are there. You can push back, you know.”

I hate the tone he takes with me. He still sees me as a child, unable to accept that I am not only a woman, but a woman in a higher position than he is. He still tries to coax me into being something I am not and gives me words of advice that I can calculate through in seconds without needing to take them.

“What does it matter? Am I supposed to throw a fit until the king realizes his mistake? I pushed back my first week and look where I am now.” I say earning a frown from my father. He takes a deep breath, turning his attention to the yard. The sun is bright today, but the air is mild, making the weather perfect to sit in.

“I am not saying to throw a fit. I am saying not to let the king’s decision deter you from speaking out. You’ve been born with a gift that our forefathers could only dream of existing. They had no idea our way of life could breed something so phenomenal. Don’t let the king make you think for one second that you are not important, or that your words come second. You are going to pave the way for a new future in Etherium, I just know it.”

My father watches me with kind eyes. He’s always been this way, different in the way he interacts with us. He is a gentle man, not letting his logic cloud his emotions. It confused me as a child, especially since he is a powerful man in our society, burdened with making decisions most people couldn’t come close to making. I don’t understand him. And part of me thinks I never will. He uses emotion in situations that are unnecessary. And that’s where he and my brother are the same.

I inhale a deep breath looking to change the subject.

“Have you heard from Benjamin? I’ve been trying to reach him for weeks.”

My father’s face visibly saddens as I bring my brother up.

“I’m sure he’s just busy. He’ll call the first chance he gets.”

“Is the situation in Ethos that bad?” I ask.

My father is silent for a moment, his demeanor shifting as he begins to speak about the problems my brother is facing in another dome.

“It’s not just Ethos alone. It’s the people from the outside. They’re growing restless; more resentful of our way of living. And Ethos is the most vulnerable of the domes at the moment. Unfortunately, the framework of the domes all tie into one another. So Ethos cannot fall or it will mean big trouble for all of us.”

My father stares into his cup for a moment, in an attempt to control his emotions. He is clearly very worried about Benjamin, meaning he knows more than he’s letting on about not only the condition of Ethos but the conditions of the outside world. I personally have never been curious about the outside world. Etherium has been growing for over three-hundred years. We left that world behind so long ago, I don’t care for what it has become. My only thoughts have ever been for the betterment of Etherium.

My father perks up, a forced smile forming on his lips.

“This is what Benjamin has trained his entire life for. He’s the best candidate to fix things. I’m sure he will be fine.”

He’s saying these words aloud to comfort himself more so than me. He’s worried. It solidifies my theory that something is going on behind the scenes. It also must be why there was an overreaction to my advice.

“So, how are you adjusting here in the capital? It’s been so long since your mother and I visited,” he says. His tone suggests he’s desperate to change the subject, so I oblige.

“I don’t particularly like the capital. It’s not as quiet as home, and the view is different,” I say as my attention drifts to Tiberius. He’s standing near the backdoor, his eyes trained straight ahead. I keep it to myself that I don’t exactly feel alone with Tiberius around. He claims his attentiveness is part of his job as my bodyguard, but I don’t see it that way. Every night since that night, he brings me dinner, ensuring that I eat after Augustus retires for the night. Every day that I spend with him adds to my intrigue.

He was born and raised on the outside until he was thirteen and yet he acts as if he belongs in Etherium. He isn’t desperate to remain like Augustus, keeping his thoughts to himself for fear of my reaction. If anything, Tiberius’s actions lack fear or desperation. I wish I knew the motivation behind his actions. But I can never get a good read on him. The longer I am around him, the more I realize how almost deliberate his lack of habits seems. It’s almost as if he’s hiding part of himself, for fear of me knowing him. Now, I only need to determine whether or not I should see that as a threat.

My father chuckles pulling my attention away from Tiberius.

“Olwen you’ve always been so set in your ways. Maybe you should take this as an opportunity to focus on things other than Etherium-”

“Etherium is my life, Dad. It was what I was born for. You said yourself I am going to lead us into a new age so why would you even suggest such a thing?” I rush out. My father watches me steadily, choosing his next words carefully.

“I only mean that you should discover yourself if not a little.”

I watch him, my anger for once growing past my logic. There are a million things I could say to hurt him and make him feel the pain I feel from his words. It always feels like no matter what I do, he continues to urge me to become something that I am not capable of. He won’t just accept me as I am.

I suck in a deep breath, standing.

“I think you should go,” I say softly.

My father frowns, standing from his seat.

“Olwen I didn’t mean-”

“Tiberius. See my father out.”

* * * * *

Ethos is in trouble.

As soon as my father left, I pulled the archives for the newest dome. Not only is it not suitable for Etherian inhabitants, but corruption has settled deep within it if the reports are correct. Corruption from all sides. It’s no wonder Benjamin hasn’t called any of us. He probably hasn’t had a break dealing with civil unrest. My irritation grows as I think of the king’s reaction to my advice. He is a fool. Things have already grown past a point of return. Something drastic must be done about Ethos.

The sound of an intruder pulls me from my readings, and I look up to see Tiberius setting a tray down once again covered with light snacks and refreshments. I shift my attention to the window. It’s still light outside.

“Is Augustus ill?” I ask,  waving my hand over the screen to darken it. Tiberius stands to his full height, eyeing me silently as he calculates his words. I’m pleased that I’ve found a way to somewhat read him even if it is miniscule. He never responds right away the first time. He thinks, then chooses his words carefully so that I cannot decipher anything about him. I don’t know why he does it. Maybe he fears me because of my behavior in the beginning. Or maybe he doesn’t want me to know anything about him other than what is in our database. I know my abilities are unnerving, and maybe Tiberius is just another person stricken by it.

“I’ve just done this so often at this point it feels like my own duty,” he says. I enjoy the sound of his voice, I realize as I stand next to him, eyeing the tray of food. All the while I do, I feel his eyes on me, watching me to gauge my reaction.

“Do you think I was wrong?” I ask.

I look up after a moment and Tiberius is still watching me with a curious expression.

“Wrong for what?”

I narrow my gaze.

“Don’t act dull, Tiberius. It makes me dislike you,” I say lifting the tea cup and the small bowl filled with sweet treats back to my desk. After a moment he decides to answer me.

“It isn’t my place, Miss Sheridan.”

I chuckle, rolling my eyes as I take a seat.

“Of course, it isn’t,” I murmur taking a sip of my drink. He’s tense as he stands across the room. His hands are by his side, his chin raised proudly like most people of the knight’s class.

“Neither is bringing me food and yet you do it,” I say pulling his attention.

“It was just a kindness, Miss Sheridan.”

I chuckle.

“Kindness? This is Etherium. I do not need kindness. I have servants to do these tasks. Don’t waste your kindness on me. Focus on your duties,” I say going back to reading.

Tiberius is silent for a moment, moving across the room to stand in front of my desk. I look up as he approaches, my breathing hitching in my throat as he looks down at me.

“I think you were wrong. I think you are wrong in a lot of ways, Miss Sheridan. I think you lack in an emotional capacity, and I think you are very arrogant. Is that what you wanted to hear?” he asks.

I don’t have a response for him. For once, his guard is down and I can read everything about him in this moment. His muscles are tense, his eyes narrowed. He’s an open book. And what I get from him isn’t admiration or obedience.

It’s anger and loathing.

It’s the same emotions he hid the night I berated him in my father’s office, except now he isn’t hiding them.

“Your father is a kind man. He wants you to grow as a person. But you are so stubborn that you think any word of caution is a slight against you. And you’ve never had anyone brave enough to challenge you, including your servants. They fear you like I’ve never seen. It sickens me.”

Silence fills the air.

We both glare at each other and as I continue to study him, I notice his demeanor shift back to the stoic form I can’t read. His words penetrate deep, stirring emotions within me. Usually, I don’t care what people from the lower parts of our world feel, but his words strike me. He says them with conviction, signaling he has a deeper hatred for something that isn’t quite me, but I remind him of it.

And then, his demeanor slowly shifts as he goes back to his usual stoicism that I cannot read. So he does do it on purpose. And he just made the mistake of letting me see an inkling of it.

I laugh, bringing my cup to my lips.

“You were right. It isn’t your place.”