Imperfection - Chapter Eleven (Patreon)

Olwen

When we were younger, I would teach my brother different codes. To me, it was a simple thing to learn but for him, it was difficult. He often got frustrated when he couldn’t catch onto what I was trying to teach him as quickly and as a result would quit. At a certain point, I came up with my own code to try and simplify it for him. One that I thought would be fun if passed between us siblings and us alone. I spent months teaching it to him, convinced that he wasn’t paying attention until now.

My code was very complex, and not easily decipherable by a computer, as a computer would need variables that are impossible for it to obtain and decipher. And without the proper algorithm admitted, the words on paper look like a detailed letter about Benjamin’s time in Ethos.

He goes on for a few paragraphs about the architecture and weather differences from our dome, and his schedule. He even tells me about the food and the people, detailing the most recent collection before the king’s order of canceling them for the foreseeable future. He finishes his letter with a congratulations on my new position and that he regrets not being able to make it. I recognized the pattern of my code immediately. And I also know that Benjamin himself doesn’t fully understand it, which is why he only managed to slip one, desperate message into it.

Help.

My brother is a man who led our military. He is on the path to becoming just like our mother. But something is happening in Ethos that has caused him to reach out secretly asking for my help. Not our mother or father, whom he knows can quickly intervene from their positions, me.

“Miss Sheridan. We’ve gone too far from the palace. We should go back.”

I ignore Tiberius, continuing my trek through the woods. He seems on edge about every place we go, always expecting some attack. But I needed to clear my head and come up with a way to see my brother. I can’t speak with Orion to get a more detailed account, nor can I just up and leave the city. And asking the king to investigate Ethos will cause more harm than good seeing as I’ve mentioned more than once my concerns. Life has never challenged me in this way. Even my mind, with all of its different solutions, cannot come up with a way to help my brother. I am trapped within the system.

I flinch as I step on an unstable rock, my ankle turning slightly.

“Ah!”

Before I can hit the ground, there’s an arm around my own holding me up. I whip my head in the direction of my savior, Tiberius’s face inches from my own. His eyes remind me of the sunset as he studies my own face, the beauty mark beneath his left eye pulling my attention.

“I told you we should go back. You’re not used to this terrain,” he says.

Warmth spreads over my body at the closeness of his face to mine, and I quickly gain control of my mind, pulling my arm out of his grasp. I flinch as pain shoots through my leg, but manage to stumble into the nearest tree to hold myself up, earning a scowl from Tiberius.

“You know, being stubborn doesn’t make you superior,” he says. He turns his head in the direction we came from, pulling a blade from his holster. He quickly marks the tree next to him before placing the blade back where it belongs, his honey gaze meeting mine.

“Being arrogant doesn’t make you superior either,” I counter.

Tiberius laughs at my rebuttal, shaking his head.

“Arrogant? Miss Sheridan, I think you have me confused with yourself,” he says. His smile is genuine as he finds amusement in my words, and it makes me angry. But instead of giving in to my anger like I usually would, his words to me in the past come to mind.

“You think any word of caution is a slight against you.”

So, I let it go, slowly lowering myself to the ground. Tiberius’s amusement disappears in an instant, and he moves with me, concern on his features.

“Miss Sheridan?”

I ignore him.

I’m overwhelmed. I’ve never acknowledged that something so primitive was possible for someone like me. But at this moment, I have no solution to the problems running through my mind. I slowly lift my gaze, my eyes focusing on the clear sky through the trees. I cannot go against my king, nor can I act on my own and leave my post. But my brother, who I was too busy to see for the last time before leaving for Ethos has reached out, asking for my help.

“Do you have any siblings, Tiberius?” I ask.

Tiberius’s expression shifts to one of shock. “I…” he trails off, considering whether to lie to me or not.

“I do not.”

I raise a brow.

“You’re lying,” I say. In all honesty, it’s a bluff. Tiberius is an expert at hiding his emotions. But he doesn’t know that, especially since I’ve called him on it more than once. And to my excitement, my bluff works.

“I have half brothers. They don’t consider me family, nor do I them,” he says simply. I nod slowly, feeling too exhausted to bother delving into the complexity of his statement. His file did say he was an orphan, and he was brought in alone. I assume it is because his half family did not accept him or his existence and he genuinely had nowhere else to go. He was abandoned in both aspects of his life.

“Why do you ask?” he asks. His body slowly relaxes as he takes a seat next to me on the floor of the forest. The breeze is nice as it barely sifts through the leaves, carrying the scent of nature with it.

“I have a brother. He’s a commander. He was stationed in Ethos the night of my celebration. I’ve been unable to establish contact with him and I’m just worried, is all.”

Tiberius shifts slightly, draping his arm over his knee. My eyes shift to the symbol branded onto his flesh from me, the day he pledged his life to mine.

“Is that why you spend late nights working on contingency plans for Ethos?” he asks.

I nod, pulling my knees to my chest.

“Benjamin and I have always led different lives. He was never as smart as I was, but he never made me feel bad about it. He was always fascinated and proud. And still managed to make his own way. But one thing he’s never done is rely on my intelligence. I just wanted to be ready in case he needed me. And now he does and I don’t know that I can help him,” I say softly.

Tiberius doesn’t speak. I’m sure he’s as shocked as I am to hear such emotional words come from my lips. But instead of amusement, I feel his hand gently close around mine. My eyes widen and I resist the urge to pull away.

“I’m sorry, Miss Sheridan.”

He gently squeezes my hand before releasing it, leaning against the trunk of his own tree. He still doesn’t speak further. He only sits with me, listening to the sound of nature surrounding us. It’s a few minutes before I break the silence.

“Did you never want to connect with your siblings?” I ask.

Tiberius makes a face, eyeing me.

“I did when I was younger. But they made it very clear that I wasn’t part of their family. Nor would I ever be. I would never be acknowledged or accepted as one of them. So no, the desire to connect now doesn’t strike me,” he says.

“They would feel foolish if they knew how far you’d come,” I say. To that, Tiberius laughs. I don’t know why, I can’t find amusement in what I said. But he thinks it’s funny.

“I appreciate your optimism, but they could care less whether I lived or died,” he says before looking at me with a curious grin.

“Who knew the famously apathetic Olwen Sheridan could be kind to those lesser than?” he says. His words strike a feeling in my chest, but I don’t know how to react to it. My life has consisted of tunnel vision, doing my duties because it is what is expected of me. In the process, I limit myself to speaking to those I feel would be unnecessary. It’s nothing personal, just a calculation on my part that helps with the efficiency of my task.

“I understand that there are people who are lesser than,” I say, “They have no place in my life or among my calculations. It does not mean my work doesn’t extend to them in the long run,” I say. I cannot rightly say why Tiberius’s opinion of me makes me feel the desire to defend myself.

“‘Your name no longer matters as it is now attached to me. You have no say, no opinion, so when I tell you I am going to do something, you do not protest.’ Is that not what you told me?” he says.

“I won’t apologize for making you understand your place,” I say.

“Of course. I wouldn’t ask you to, Miss Sheridan.”

He’s still smiling, earning my frustration but before I can speak Tiberius stands, and to my shock reaches under my back and knees, lifting me up from the ground. I gasp in shock, but he holds me firm, making his way in the direction we came from. His face is right next to mine, but I can’t bring myself to look him in the eyes. I can only stare blankly ahead, suddenly aware of the throb and swell of my ankle. I am also aware of the warmth of Tiberius’s chest as he holds me and the position of his hands against me.

“Put me—”

“You can’t walk on that. Contrary to what you think you know, I know the terrain better than you. Just let me do my job.”

I quiet down for the sake of keeping calm, but the longer we walk, the more I am aware of every physical detail in Tiberius’s body. As he carries me back, he has yet to break a sweat. I’m sure it’s because he was trained for more than this.

“You’re so intent on pushing yourself all the time. Just because you are the smartest, doesn’t mean you have to carry the weight of everyone. Free will exists for a reason. People can make their own decisions, that’s the beauty of life,” he says.

I scoff.

“Free will is what got the outside world where it is today. Without people like me making decisions for them, they run themselves into the ground.”

Tiberius shrugs, adjusting me.

“Doesn’t it ever bother you? The loss of individuality in this place?” he asks.

I laugh in disbelief.

“What?”

“You all dress the same, you act the same. Your buildings, roads, and homes look the same. It’s all calculated living. There’s no color, barely any life. You just live for the sake of it. Where’s the adventure?” he asks.

“Spoken like a true outsider,” I say rolling my eyes.

“An outsider who knew a life apart from this one.”

“If you prefer it out there so much, why did come in here?” I ask.

“It’s like I told you before, I didn’t have a choice. I never said your society wasn’t thriving, I just said it lacks in individuality.”

I don’t respond, but Tiberius is feeling comfortable as he continues to speak.

“How about this? Tomorrow is my day off. Why don’t you come with me to the lower part of Etherium, so I can show you what I’m talking about? At the very least it will help take your mind off things with your brother.”

“Have you lost your senses? I can’t go there, I’m a member of the king’s class!”

Tiberius laughs, pulling my attention and I suddenly wish I didn’t look. His smile, from this close, makes my heart flutter slightly in my chest.

“No one from that class has ever seen anyone from the king’s class. We’ll just cover up your markings and dress you a little differently. You’ll fit right in.”

I shake my head. “I can’t, I—”

“Did you forget I know your schedule? You’re free tomorrow as well.”

Tiberius looks down at me, his smile widening.

“Come on, Olwen. Do something unexpected for once.”