Imperfection - Chapter Fourteen (Patreon)

Olwen

Etherian.

The word once made me feel pride. Being an Etherian is not to be taken lightly. It requires an intense level of focus and intellect. It’s not enough to be born into our world. You must earn your place in society. And I was able to do that at a young age, making my family name proud. I’ve never doubted my place in the world until now. And it isn’t because of the world that I saw beneath ours, nor the way the people are separated. It’s because of the outsider who spoke the word with such disdain.

He always speaks with such disdain.

He lowers his guard at times when speaking with me, including that moment. And at that moment, I was able to clearly see his malice when saying the word “Etherian”. Tiberius has a genuine hatred toward us. It was something I brushed off in the beginning as him disliking us for the way that we live, seeing as he is an outsider. But his words are too specific. And his emotions are too targeted. There is something more to Tiberius that I don’t quite feel is true to the parts of himself that he lets me see. Or any of us, for that matter. But the question is, why? What would his motives be?

“Olwen, thoughts?”

I’m pulled out of my thoughts as the king opens the floor to me.

“No thoughts, Your Majesty.” I’ve taken to keeping my thoughts to myself as of late. Ever since Tiberius’s physical altercation with Alexander, I can no longer risk angering the man. The fallout from Tiberius’s actions has caused me trouble among the king’s class that he isn’t aware of. Not only has word spread among the capital of the incident, but my reputation has taken a hit as well. Instead of Alexander’s actions being judged, I am being seen as someone who lacks empathy and sees the cabinet as inferior, using my guard to bully the older men. It is a small rumor that will die down soon, but it’s still annoying, especially when mingled with my overt intellect. Everyone in the king’s class knows of my high scores, and those scores have placed a gap between myself and modern-day Etherians. Although we have evolved as a society, intimidation is human nature.

I ignore the confused expressions from my decision to remain silent, going back to my typing. Usually, I advocate for a review of Ethos, or the intake issues. But I’m tired of the pushback from people who are much less intelligent than me. It’s frustrating, especially when my algorithms prove my solutions are better and I have received proof that Ethos is in trouble. These men are letting their arrogance get in the way of progress. It makes me wonder just how much of Etherium isn’t at its best because these men couldn’t put their egos aside.

The rustle of the meeting adjourning fills the air, and I quickly move to put my things away, but not before Alexander approaches, a smug grin on his lips. I’m sure he’s the one responsible for the rumors spreading. And now that he’s seen a change in my presence, he eagerly awaits moments to get his gibes in, knowing I won’t retaliate. I am beginning to see why Tiberius dislikes him so much.

“I’ve enjoyed your input lately. I’m glad you’ve learned your lesson among the cabinet. I do hope it stays that way, Olwen.” Instead of irritation, my mind shifts to Tiberius who I know would already have him pinned against my desk for looking at me funny. That visual is enough to get me through Alexander’s taunts just as the prince approaches.

“Your Highness,” I murmur bowing. Alexander bows as well, stepping aside in shock at the prince’s approach. He clumsily mumbles his greeting as well, but the prince doesn’t seem inclined to acknowledge him.

“You’ve been so quiet in the meetings lately,” he says, addressing me.

I continue putting my laptop away as I respond. “I am smart enough to know when my opinion is needed,” I say as I finish stacking my things. I shift my attention to Alexander, who remains in our presence. “Isn’t what you were just telling me, Alexander?” I ask.

I bite back my smile as his face turns red. I’m sure Tiberius would be proud of me for subtly calling the man out and not letting him entirely run over me. The prince frowns, facing Alexander with a disapproving look.

“You should be helping your peers, not making them feel as if they don’t have a voice,” he says in irritation, but I step forward, gently placing my hand along the prince’s shoulder.

“It’s alright. Alexander has been doing this much longer than me. I’m sure his experience speaks for itself when knowing what and what not to say,” I say, eyeing Alexander before making my way around my desk.

“Did you need me for something, Your Highness?” I ask. And just as I anticipated, Julius walks with me. I’m sure Alexander is flustered by the silent control that I have over the prince. He not only treats me as if I am more critical than Alexander, but his demeanor is relaxed, and though he may not realize it, he is letting me lead, following me out of the meeting hall instead of me waiting for his permission to go.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing. You’ve been quiet lately, and I feel like I’ve seen less of you within the palace,” he says.

I smile as we exit the large room, my eyes falling on Tiberius, who stands at attention against the wall. He’s wearing his usual black uniform, his muscles flexing as he looks in our direction. His eyes shift between me and the prince, and to my irritation, he doesn’t move to greet me as he usually does. He only moves off the wall, facing me as I approach.

“Yes, I’ve been traveling within Etherium myself. I wanted to see the issues up close rather than from a statistical standpoint,” I say.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” The prince’s voice cuts through my thoughts.

“Yes, I did.” I try to move around the prince, but he moves with me, concern lacing his features.

“You know you can trust me, Olwen. Whatever you feel like you can’t say in there, you can tell me. I’ll talk to my father,” he says. My mind immediately calculates every version of that conversation and how much worse it could make my current reputation. But the prince doesn’t see it that way. He’s eager to have input and show his hand, which is dangerous for me.

“I know, Your Highness. If there is anything that I feel needs your attention, I swear I will bring it to you,” I say as we reach Tiberius. I face the prince, bowing in respect as I excuse myself.

“If you’ll excuse me, I have another meeting to get to,” I say. His demeanor gives away that he wants to continue speaking with me, but he doesn’t act on it. He dismisses me with a nod, shifting his attention to Tiberius. He doesn’t say anything, barely acknowledging the soldier who’s been protecting my life as he leaves. Once again, I find myself noticing little things that never once stood out to me in the first place. Like the way we see those who are not our own.

I release an irritated breath, moving along the halls with Tiberius in tow. It isn’t until we are fully out of earshot that Tiberius speaks.

“You don’t have another meeting,” he says softly.

I shrug.

“And you are telling me this because?” I ask, keeping my eyes straight ahead. Tiberius chuckles behind me, the sound making me want to turn around to take in the smile that usually accompanies it, but I don’t.

“It was just an observation I felt like pointing out,” he says.

“Do you ever feel like keeping your observations to yourself?” I murmur, but he hears me.

“Where would be the fun in that? You never would have gone to lower Etherium had I-”

I whip around before he can finish, pushing him into the nearest column, and despite our stark differences in size and strength, he lets me.

“Do not speak so freely about such things within the palace walls,” I hiss. I push my finger against his chest, vaguely noting the warmth of his flesh beneath my touch.

“My decision to travel there is not one to be taken lightly with my status. Thanks to you, I am already on thin ice as it is,” I growl. Tiberius’s expression softens slightly, pity once again forming on his features. I turn away from him before he can voice whatever is going through his mind, but he grips my wrist, holding me firm.

“You know I never intended to make things more difficult for you. I just wanted you to understand that with or without you, people will find a way to live. I just want you to learn to do the same.”

“Yes, I know all about your mantra on living a life full of individuality,” I say, ripping my hand from his grasp, “has it ever occurred to you that I do not need you interfering with my life or my thoughts? You are inferior to me; this is how things have been, and I am a product of it. I don’t think the same way that you do. I did not see those people and feel better about slacking off. It made me feel worse. It made me feel like my place in life is a failure. So please, just stop interfering with me, Tiberius. Just do your job.”

* * * * *

“Thank you for coming.”

I plaster a fake smile as another stranger thanks me for my attendance. Tonight, members of the rook’s class are celebrating a triumph. A breakthrough has occurred in the medical community, and as a member of the king’s council, I’ve been chosen to attend the lecture as a representative. I am mentally exhausted. My mind is constantly clashing with conflicting views ever since Tiberius. All he does is put doubt in my mind and for some reason, my mind entertains it. When I was told I would be in attendance at this celebration, I was relieved to have the distraction. But it has revealed itself not to be the distraction that I want.

Tiberius’s looming presence is notable behind me. He hasn’t spoken to me today, his demeanor rigid and silent. This has become a pattern for us. Though I don’t know why, as a guard, he is so adamant about continually trying to make my life simpler, even if the result becomes this. It doesn’t deter him.

A servant approaches with an outstretched hand and a tight smile as he directs me to my seat just as the night begins. The lecture itself is to explain the newest rounds of life extension. Becoming a virtually perfect society has allowed us a lot of scientific breakthroughs. We’ve perfected neural interface, artificial intelligence, and nanotechnological medicine and even cured a few diseases along the way. We’ve established ourselves as a force in human nature, not only doing all this but extending human life overall due to a better environment and medicinal advancements. Though for all of this, we’ve only extended human life by twenty years, the average one-hundred-year-old passing for a seventy-year-old in physical stature. It would seem this particular research assistant has introduced looking into human life in the way of trees.

It’s refreshing, that’s for sure, but I don’t know how he could cross the two, which is the reason for this lecture. As I make my way to my seat, I hear my name.

“Miss Sheridan!”

I turn to see Lisa Hightower making her way toward me with a large smile on her lips, her husband standing next to her with a strange expression as they approach.

“I didn’t know you were interested in the medical side of Etherium,” Christian Hightower speaks with a level tone. It’s been a while since I faced the people of Etherium. The unease in their eyes when speaking to me was one I’d grown used to until meeting Tiberius. His eyes always hold irritation or a calculated cover. But when he’s open with me, he’s relaxed and speaks to me like no one has before.

“I find medicine interesting every once in a while,” I say.

“Besides, the king asked that I attend and give a proper summary of the lecture and whether or not the royal cabinet should pursue it,” I add. As I speak, I notice Lisa’s eyes shifting behind me to Tiberius. Her smile falters slightly as she takes him in, her demeanor shifting. It’s a subtle shift that no one could possibly notice but me. But she turns her attention back to our conversation before I can analyse it further.

“Would you be willing to attend my lecture next week? I’ve been trying to get an audience with the king for months now. I’ve been able to analyze the soil from Ethos and have come up with a possible solution to the resource problem.”

He immediately has my attention with the mention of Ethos.

“Oh?” I ask.

“Yes, we have not only found a way to combat it, but a better solution for the outsiders coming into the dome,” he says. I shift my attention to the entry hall, which has begun to thin out as most guests have found seats.

“I will have Augustus set us up a meeting. Enjoy the lecture,” I say, dismissing both of them. I watch as they both enter the hall before I release a shaky breath.

“I need to be alone,” I murmur. I don’t wait for Tiberius’s response as I make my way to the door leading to the venue's upper balcony. I quickly go outside, waiting until the door closes to rest my hands against the railing, letting my shaky breaths come fast.

I wasn’t aware of Ethos’s resource problem. The king and the cabinet seem intent on ignoring the rising issues with Ethos, labeling it as a newer dome. But these issues are more than what they’ve been telling. It’s obvious they are keeping a lot from me. And my brother’s letter proves that all the more. He needs me, and I still haven't found a way to help him. I squeeze my eyes shut, calming my breathing as I focus on my surroundings.

The temperature is perfect, the wind controlled as it bristles over me. Since we are inside a dome, everything is controlled down to the way the wind blows, and it’s always the same. It’s always a soft caress that’s barely there. I make my way to the ledge, my eyes roaming over our world. Everything is perfect and in its place. It’s pristine, befitting of the word “perfection.” It’s nothing like the world below. From this angle, I can see all of Etherium, and there is nothing individualistic as there is in lower Etherium. There are no pops of color, no stragglers that converse on the streets. The silence is broken occasionally by the train that moves through Etherium. The train itself barely makes noise, an effect of perfecting clean energy and travel.

The door opens, but I ignore the footsteps, knowing who it is by the cadence.

“I thought I told you I wanted to be alone,” I say softly.

“I can only do that for so long.” I hate the pity I hear in his voice. But it’s no use in getting angry over it any longer. Tiberius is like a limb to me now. He knows everything about me, from becoming my protective shadow. I heave a sigh, turning to face him.

The dim night sky of the dome barely illuminates his features as he approaches me.

“It’s exhausting, you know,” I say. Tiberius continues to watch me, patiently waiting for me to continue on my own.

“Being this smart is exhausting. My mind never rests. It reads people constantly. It makes calculations without me trying. It categorizes and finds solutions. It was easy before you forced me to look at things another way. Now those calculations clash with my own.”

Tiberius laughs softly, shaking his head.

“Has it ever occurred to you that the clashing calculations might be your emotions?” he asks.

Now it’s my turn to laugh.

“Have you not heard the rumors of the palace? I have no emotions,” I say. Tiberius is silent as he comes to stand next to me, a frown on his lips. He turns to look at me, studying me intensely.

“Do you believe the rumors?” he asks. I shrug.

“There’s truth to them.”

“Is there?” Tiberius asks, stepping into my personal space. My mind screams at me to push him away, but I am paralyzed by the foreign feelings rushing through me as his eyes bore into mine, capturing me.

“I’ve seen you angry. I’ve seen you sad. I’ve even seen you crack a smile on occasion,” he murmurs, his golden gaze roaming over mine. He brings his hand up, gently rubbing his thumb over my cheek.

“I’ve seen you relax, I’ve seen you irritated, I’ve seen you cry. And as crazy as it sounds, Olwen, I’ve seen you laugh. And my God, it’s a beautiful laugh. Do you really believe the rumors of people who have never seen that side of you?” he asks.

I am suddenly aware of how hard my heart beats as blood rushes over my body. My breathing slows, and I still can’t find it in myself to push him away. For once, my logic is silent. My mind is calm. Tiberius’s eyes drop to my lips, a small smile forming on his as he leans closer to me.

“I’ve seen a side of you that I admire. A side of you that I want to protect. And as much as you want me to leave you alone, I won’t. If I don’t protect that side of you, this place will swallow it whole. I can’t let that happen... I won't.”

I don’t know how to respond. Luckily, I don’t have to. His hand grips my jaw gently as he lowers his lips to mine.