Imperfection - Chapter Seventeen (Patreon)

Tiberius

I fucked up. I fucked up big time. I gave in to my emotions rather than gathering myself and doing what needed to be done. And as a result, I fucked up. Olwen lays unconscious in my arms, her naked body draped over my own. I silently study her in the dim light of her bedroom. It’s strange to see her in this light. When I first laid eyes on her, I had no doubt she was a beautiful woman. But seeing her like this—naked and uninhibited by her societal standards, it brings out a primal side of me.

I gently test a strand of her wild curls. They’re usually pulled into a tight bun or intricate braids, her culture never allowing her to wear her hair in an “unruly” fashion. Her lashes match the hazelnut-colored strands, fanning her cheeks that are lightly dusted with freckles. Yes, I knew she was beautiful from the moment I met her. But that beauty was eerie. It was controlled, every part of it. It was stiff and purposeful. But it has slowly melted away when we are alone. I see it in the way she smiles and allows herself to laugh.

I had no idea this kind of person existed beneath the perfectly trained exterior she had created to please her society. But she is so much more than what they perceive her to be. She is fierce in her decisions. She is uninhibited by fear or mistakes. She is perfect, just as they’ve bred her to be. But she is not as emotionless as she claims to be, as we were trained to think she would be.

I release a breath, shifting my attention to the ceiling.

Yes. I fucked up. I’ve made everything much more difficult than it needed to be. I gently rub my finger along her cheek, and to my shock, her eyes open to reveal the warm, chestnut-colored eyes. In the dark, they look black, like ash. But during the day, when she looks up at me, the light catching them perfectly, the warm hue accompanied by the pattern of scattered dunes brings me an awareness of just how stunning she is.

Her eyes shift, lifting to meet mine. The action once brought me discomfort. It was like looking at a lifeless creature that wore the skin of a human but had no mannerisms that resembled its own kind. But as she looks at me now, she’s warm and soft. So much that I feel the flush of arousal forcing my cock to stir.

I smile, shifting so that I am straddling her. And she lets me. She looks up at me with wide, innocent eyes, and I suddenly want her once again. So I lower my lips to hers, initiating what is forbidden between us.

This was just supposed to be a job. I’ve overstepped and made things worse for both of us. I’ve lost sight of my true purpose. I can only hope I don’t complicate things further before it's too late.

* * * * *

Olwen

I know what I did was a mistake. I know that once I awaken, I will have to face the consequences of that mistake. But as sleep falls away, and I register the cool emptiness of the sheets next to me, I only feel disappointment that Tiberius is no longer in bed with me. I slowly open my eyes, and the view of my bedroom suddenly feels dull in comparison to my mood. Tiberius and I had sex more than once last night. We crossed forbidden lines, his words to me correct.

Breaking the rules did give me pleasure.

My instinct is always to calculate everything that could go wrong with whatever decision is made. But for this decision, I don’t have to calculate. I know what could go wrong. I quickly throw my legs over the edge of the bed, moving to look at myself in the mirror. My fingers drift over the welted skin that is swollen from Tiberius’s attentions last night. Some are on my collarbone, some linger on my breasts, and most are on my thighs and stomach. Tiberius left his mark all over me. And though I can easily eliminate them with our technology, a small part of me wishes they could remain.

Tiberius’s words to me last night dance across my mind as I continue studying myself in the mirror.

“I’ve seen a side of you that I admire. A side of you that I want to protect. And as much as you want me to leave you alone, I won’t.”

Just thinking about his words makes my heart flutter. No one has ever expressed those kinds of emotions for me. Everyone is usually intimidated, speaking to me behind a cover of fear. But not Tiberius. He has seen me in a different light than most Etherians and has expressed his appreciation of it. It makes me want to ignore all the rules Etherium put in place as he does.

I chuckle to myself in the mirror, turning away from my reflection as I make my way into the bathroom. I don’t know how to cope with what transpired between us. But I can’t let my emotions get in the way of my duty to Etherium. It’s feelings like this that forced the fall of nations in the outside world. And it is not what I was created to do.

~

As I emerge from my bedroom, Augustus is waiting for me at the bottom of the steps. He holds an electronic tablet out to me, his expression emotionless as we go about our morning routine, Augustus following me into the dining area, where breakfast is waiting. As usual, Augustus waits until I am seated to relay any new information and scheduling.

“You’ve been given the green light on the quarterly inspection. The king has requested you have it by the end of the week. That will also be when he decides which advisors will take over the inspection of each dome at the end of the month. The king will also expect a report of last night’s lecture by the end of the day. And you have received an invitation from Christian Hightower to attend his lecture next week.”

I nod in acknowledgment as I continue to scroll through the latest reports. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. I expect the king to purposely not choose me for the inspection of Ethos, so in my free time, I will have to find a way to be chosen anyway. As I scroll through the reports, I’m suddenly acutely aware of the looming presence that enters the dining room.

I look up to see Tiberius stepping in with his usual demeanor. He walks to his normal place against the wall, eyeing me before speaking.

“Miss Sheridan,” he says.

He doesn’t deviate from his usual routine, and for that, I am grateful. But on the inside, my heart beats fervently as I remember his hands on my body and his lips on mine. I know what every inch of his body looks like beneath his clothing, and it makes me ache between my legs. I ignore his greeting, shifting my attention back to the reports. But as I go back to my morning routine, I am highly aware of his gaze on me.

The day passes without incident, but it is difficult to get work done. Tiberius’s presence is much more suffocating now. I silently glance at him from behind my computer. I decided to work in my office in the palace today, and of course, Tiberius accompanied me. I thought it would help me to concentrate better, being alone with him in the palace rather than my apartment. But it isn’t.

His back is to the wall as he stands adjacent to the door. And as if feeling my gaze, his honey-colored eyes shift in my direction. I don’t look away, however, holding his gaze.

“Is there a problem, Miss Sheridan?” he asks. Just the sound of his voice makes me shift in my seat from the sudden moisture between my legs.

“No,” I murmur, looking back at my screen. The words suddenly feel like an impossible puzzle as I try and force myself to focus, earning Tiberius’s chuckle.

“Are we going to pretend nothing happened last night?” he asks, shifting away from the door.

“Yes, that is what’s best,” I say quickly. But as always, he ignores my remarks, doing as he pleases.

“Says who?” he asks.

I scoff, making the mistake of looking at him. My breathing hitches in my throat. I hate the way my body reacts around him now.

“Says the law,” I grumble.

Tiberius laughs.

“I think we’re well past the law mattering, Olwen.”

I shake my head in disbelief.

“Tiberius… what happened last night cannot happen again,” I say.

He looks taken aback but continues his approach.

“Why not?” he asks.

“Because it isn’t right. I was weak, made a mistake, and never should have put you in that position,” I say quickly.

Tiberius chuckles once again, his confusion evident in his expression.

“Weak? You’re not serious, are you? What position did you put me in exactly?” he asks. My irritation flares, and I place my hands on the desk, slowly standing to look him in the eyes as I force my emotions out of my mind, latching onto my logic.

“Exile. Or even worse, death. You would lose everything you have ever worked toward if what transpired between us reaches the light of day. Your life is worthless to us, Tiberius.”

“Don’t say us. Them. My life is worthless to them. But I can see from this conversation alone that it means something to you. You didn’t put me in any more danger than I already am in, Olwen. This is my life. This is the life of anyone like me. Exile is an option for anything that we do, no matter if me and you sleeping together came to light. Or did you forget that if not for you, I would have already faced death for putting my hands on an official?”

A small ache forms in my chest from his words, breaking through the wall I put up once again. But he takes my silence for what it is, smiling.

“I knew what I was doing when I crossed that line with you. And trust me, I have a lot at stake. So don’t concern yourself with me. My role here hasn’t changed.”