MA 24 (Patreon)

“Mom, get away from me!” Something pushed at me, and I struggled awake.

Opening my eyes, a semi-furious Jessica glared at me. “Hmm?”

“You’re all snuggled up to me and you drooled down the back of my neck. Eww!”

I sat up, confused. How had I gotten into Jessica’s bed? How much had I had to drink last night?

“Jesus, Mom! Get out of my bed!” she pushed at me.

I shook my head. Something was wrong. Very very wrong.

“What’s going on in here?” Frank said, opening the door.

“Mom got drunk last night and slept in my bed! Now she won’t get out!”

Frank grinned. “I wondered.”

I looked up at him, confused. “Frank?”

“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you some hair of the dog.” He took my hand, and I allowed him to lead me out of Jessica’s room. I wasn’t even in my nightgown, still dressed from the night before.

“I’ll let you take a shower and wake up,” Frank said. “You want a mimosa or a bloody mary on the deck?”

I thought about it. I liked both in the morning but felt like...

“Bloody Mary,” I said. “Heavy on the...”

“Heavy on the vodka, light on the tomato, I got you.” Frank kissed me on the head.

Blinking bleary eyes, I stumbled into the shower. I felt awful. Achy, sore, tired, like I hadn’t slept at all. My mouth was a parched desert in the middle of a drought.

I let the hot water sluice over me, then washed slowly, body and hair. I barely remembered the night before, Frank and I had drinks on the deck after a day in town. We were on holiday upstate. I was Madeline Barnett, just like I’d always been and Frank was my husband, and he was such a kind man.

I blinked. But...that wasn’t right.

I rinsed my body and hair out, then conditioned it, and got out of the shower.

Swiping the steam off the mirror, I stared at my face. Madeline’s face. Joyce’s face.

It wasn’t my face it was...

A horrid headache came on, and I almost screamed. Sitting down on the commode, I held my hands to my head. Turning around, I lifted the lid and dry-heaved into the basin.

Madeline, Joyce, Madeline, Joyce...I was both and neither. I was Robert!

And Jessica...that wasn’t right, she wasn’t Jessica. It felt both right and wrong at the same time. The headache grew worse, and I heaved some more.

Jessica...Ca...Ca....Karyn! Jessica was really Karyn, and I was really Joyce...no, ROBERT.

Jesus, someone had done a number on me. My brain absolutely refused to accept it. It felt wrong like wearing wool pants and a tumbleweed blouse, all thorns and uncomfortable. What made sense, what was normal, natural was that I was Madeline, my daughter was Jessica, and my husband was Frank. Yes, so nice, so normal, so natural, and Frank was such a kind man.

I smiled at how kind he was. I could smell frying bacon and brewing coffee. And I knew he had a lovely breakfast set out for us.

I dried my hair. Jesus, it had gone gray, I really needed to see a hairdresser. We’d passed a couple in town and I looked for my phone...

You need to keep yourself in top shape to please your husband. Ran through my mind.

Yes, absolutely true. I needed to keep myself in top shape. When was the last time I’d colored my hair?

I grabbed the blow dryer and did the best I could, then applied makeup. I found a light blouse, slacks, and low-heeled shoes. Aha! My phone was on the nightstand next to our bed. I grabbed it, and googled the nearest hairdresser, then called and made an appointment for later that morning.

“Mmmm, something smells wonderful!” I said, breezing out onto the deck where Frank and Jessie were waiting patiently.

“Hello, darling, we were just about to eat without you!”

I smiled as he bussed me on the cheek. “Sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

We all sat in our accustomed places. Jessie wore a skimpy top and micro skirt.

“Going somewhere?” I asked.

“Dave and the guys are taking a sailboat out. They asked me to go.”

I glanced at Frank. David Nillson was Jessie’s Homme du jour; they had met the first night we’d been on holiday.

Frank shrugged his shoulders.

“No drinking, no drugs, and no sex,” I said. “I have a hair appointment this morning anyway.”

“Mom! Jesus, you're old-fashioned!”

“And be home by sundown, so we can go to dinner at the Sand Dollar.”

She sighed. “But what if they want to go—“

“No buts, young lady. Home by sundown, or you stay put for the day!”

Jessie rolled her eyes. “Okayy.”

“Who else is going?”

It was my standard routine. Raising a daughter in today’s world meant knowing exactly who she would be surrounding herself with.

“Carla, Stacy, April, Maggie...the usual, Mother.”

I knew all of the other girls by heart since we traveled up here each year. Most of them were good girls except... “You be careful with that Maggie Branson, she’s a little too wild child if you ask me.”

“Oh, mother, just because she has black hair.”

“And black makeup, and black clothes, and black boots. Will she really enjoy being out in the sun, or will she perish like her kind usually—“

“She’s goth, Mom, not a vampire.”

“You know what I’m saying, Jessica Marie Barnett. I know the types of people she hangs around and—“

“Mom, oh my gawd, just leave it already!” Jessie’s voice rose to that strident level I hated. “We’ll be on a sailboat, not going to a dungeon!”

I nodded and looked at Frank. Say something!

“Listen to your mother, young lady.” Frank continued to eat his breakfast.

I sighed. Useless. “Anyway, you know the rules. You be back by sundown or you’ll have no phone for the rest of the trip.”

“Yes, Mother.”

I smiled brightly, scooping up my Bloody Mary and taking a big sip.

It was perfect. “Mmmmm, thank you, darling, you always make the best Bloody Marys.”

“I don’t know why you say ‘no drinking’ when you both drink like fishes,” Jessica mumbled, looking down at her plate.

“Your mother and I are of legal age, baby. You’ll be able to drink when you turn twenty-one.”

Jessie sighed, dramatically. It almost made me wonder if she was having her menses, she usually wasn’t this cranky in the mornings, but that wasn’t for another three days.

Another three days...

I frowned, thinking about that. Something was happening in another three days. What was it?

“What time is your hair appointment?” Frank said.

Was it something holiday related? No, that couldn’t be true, we were a week or so out from the fourth of July.

“Honey?” Frank said.

“Hmm?” I responded. “Oh, it’s at...” I glanced down at my watch. It was nearly nine. “Oh! I have to run!”

I stuffed a bit of bacon in my mouth, then took a huge gulp of Bloody Mary. It slid down lovingly, giving me a warm glow inside.

“So we all circle back here at sundown?” Frank said.

“You’ll be okay by yourself, I assume?” I said.

“Yeah, I might go fish with Evan.”

I guffawed at that. Fishing with Evan was code for drinking at the bar.

“Well, you be careful, darling, regardless.” I kissed him softly on the lips.

“Ewww, you two get a room!” Jessie said.

I smushed her hair, which I knew she hated, then dashed off the deck and into the SUV. I put on a pair of sunglasses, arranged myself in the seat, then backed out of the driveway.

Ambition floated through my mind, but I was too focused on my hair appointment to give it any attention.