[Modern Family] Ch: 45 [The Gloria Situation] (Patreon)

[Update> I added a small closing scene. Next ch coming today.]

[Next Morning] [Los Angeles International Airport]

Jay eased the SUV into the passenger pickup area thirty minutes behind schedule, keeping his eyes on the brake lights ahead while Sonia pressed her hands against the passenger window.

"This is exactly what I was afraid of," Sonia muttered, her eyes darting across the crowded sidewalk. "She is hiding just to make me look bad."

Jay let out a heavy breath. "She's not hiding, Sonia. It's a crowded sidewalk. And we wouldn't be thirty minutes late if you hadn't spent twenty minutes staring at two pairs of the exact same black shoes."

Sonia turned to him. "They were not the same. One makes my legs look longer. Gloria is going to step out of that airport looking like a supermodel, like she always does. I need her to know I have a good life now. And stop pulling at your shirt."

Jay dropped his hand from his collar. "It's tight around the neck. I don't know why picking up your sister means I can't wear my tracksuit. I'm just sitting in a car."

"Because you look like a retired gym teacher in those clothes," Sonia said, looking him over. "I want her to see I married a man with respect, Jay. Not a man who wears elastic out in public."

Jay shook his head while driving the car a few feet forward. 

Their late departure should've been the worst part. But ten minutes from the airport, traffic had stopped completely because a delivery van had rear-ended a sedan. Jay had been forced onto a detour that added another fifteen minutes to the drive. The universe had heard his wish for a slight delay the night before and decided to give him exactly what he asked for.

Now they were finally creeping past the terminals, and Gloria was nowhere in sight.

Jay slowed near the designated pickup zone, looking past the families and business travelers dragging luggage. "You see her anywhere?"

"No," Sonia shook her head. "Drive slower, Jay."

"If I go any slower, we're parked."

They completed another slow loop around the terminal, but still nothing. Jay eventually pulled into a temporary waiting zone, put the car in park, and looked at his wife. "Just call her."

Sonia pulled out her phone and dialed the number. She sat in silence for a few seconds before lowering the phone to her lap.

"It goes straight to the voicemail," she said.

"Her phone is off?" Jay asked.

"Yes, Jay. Dead. Or she turned it off to make me suffer. She knows I hate waiting."

Jay rubbed his forehead. "She just got off a long flight. The battery probably died."

"You do not know her," Sonia said, her accent thickening with frustration. "She is probably standing at a different terminal, telling strangers that her sister abandoned her. She loves the pity."

Jay sighed, shifting the car back into drive. "Alright. We'll do one more loop."

---

<Jay's Commentary>

"I asked for a small delay."

Jay held his thumb and index finger a little bit apart.

"Just a little traffic so we wouldn't have to wait around the terminal. But you gotta be careful what you wish for."

Jay crossed his arms.

"First Sonia changes shoes twice. Then she makes me change clothes; after that we hit an accident, take a detour, arrive half an hour late, and Gloria's phone is dead."

He shook his head, looking tired.

"So now, I'm sweating in a stiff shirt, driving in circles at the airport, looking for a Colombian woman whose phone is dead. Next time, I'm just wearing the sweatpants."

<Jay's Commentary End>

...

...

[Meanwhile...]

Jason walked out of the liquor store carrying two cardboard cases of beer, each packed with twenty-four bottles. He balanced one against his hip and held the other against his chest, already wondering whether Jay expected him to supply the entire barbecue.

He reached the Nissan, unlocked the trunk, and carefully lowered the first case inside before placing the second beside it.

"That should be enough," he murmured, adjusting the boxes so they wouldn't slide around while he drove.

He was about to close the trunk when a woman shouted.

"Excuse me! I was standing right here first! You saw me waiting for this taxi!"

Jason stopped. He kept his hand on the edge of the trunk.

"That accent!" 

Some voices fade from memory over time, but some stick with you because you've heard them so often on television.

Jason closed the trunk and looked toward the sidewalk.

A woman stood beside a moderate suitcase and two small bags near the curb, pointing angrily toward a man who had already opened the rear door of a taxi. Long dark brown hair fell around her shoulders, and she was wearing a tight, brightly colored dress that did absolutely nothing to hide her massive cleavage.

She looked unfairly gorgeous.

"Gloria Ramirez."

Jason stared for a moment as the strange collision between television memories and reality happened all over again. 'Well, there she is.'

He'd known Gloria was coming. Jay had literally told him the previous day, so seeing her shouldn't have surprised him this much. Still, knowing someone familiar existed somewhere in this new reality and suddenly seeing them shouting beside a taxi were two completely different experiences.

She was furious.

The man by the cab glanced at Gloria with obvious irritation. "Lady, I already opened the door, so I'm taking it."

Gloria stared at him as if he'd just confessed to kicking puppies for entertainment. She stepped closer, her voice jumping an octave. "You only opened the door because you scurried around me like a little cockroach! In Colombia, when a cockroach steals from us, my Uncle Hector crushes it with a cinderblock and feeds it to the chickens! And you are looking very delicious to the chickens right now! I stopped this taxi! I raised my hand, the driver looked at me, and you jumped in front like a thief!"

Jason couldn't help but laugh a bit after hearing Gloria's Colombian one-liner. 'Yeah, I should probably get over there before somebody needs dental work.'

The cab driver leaned across the passenger seat, clearly losing what little patience he had left. "Look, I don't care which one of you takes the ride, but somebody needs to make a move. I can't just sit here blocking the curb all day."

Gloria immediately turned her anger toward him. "You know I stopped you! You were looking directly at me!"

The driver just gave a lazy shrug. "Lady, I just drive the car. Whoever gets their butt on the seat first gets the ride."

Gloria's eyes widened.

Jason almost laughed because he recognized the exact moment the cab driver had made a catastrophic strategic error.

"So you think just because this little man has the rat-legs to scurry around my luggage, he gets the taxi?!" Gloria demanded, taking a deeply threatening step forward. "I have been on airplanes since yesterday, my phone has no battery, Sonia is late, and now you are telling me I have to surrender to a thief?!"

The man finally climbed halfway into the cab and looked back toward her. "Maybe stop yelling and wait for another one."

Gloria took one step forward.

Jason immediately started walking.

'Yep. Intervention time.'

He crossed the parking lot at a quick pace while Gloria moved toward the open taxi door. The guy clearly had no idea how close he was to becoming part of a story Jay would complain about for the next ten years.

"Hey," Jason called as he approached. "Maybe we can solve this without somebody ending up on the evening news."

Gloria stopped and looked toward him.

For the first time since Jason had spotted her, she became quiet.

Her eyes moved over him briefly, taking in the expensive T-shirt, jeans, watch, and the Nissan parked several yards behind him. Jason could almost see her mentally deciding whether he was useful, annoying, or another person about to make the situation worse. 

The man near the cab straightened. "This has nothing to do with you."

Jason glanced toward him before looking at the taxi driver. "Get out of here." He then looked at Gloria. "You're Gloria, right?"

"Yes. Do I know you?" She asked, slightly narrowing her eyes.

“Mr. Pritchett said yesterday that his sister-in-law, Gloria, was flying in. Then I heard you yelling Sonia’s name, so I took a guess," Jason said. "Well, you look exhausted, and I got a car. So, how about I give you a ride? I live across the street from Mr. Pritchett's house."

The guy got into the cab, and the cab drove away.

...

[A Few Minutes Later...]

Gloria sat in the passenger seat with her purse on her lap as Jason drove back into traffic. Her suitcase was in the trunk, and her two bags were behind the seat. The air-conditioning started to help her feel better after a long day of traveling through airports, airplanes, taxis, and whatever events had brought her to that parking lot.

Jason glanced toward her before returning his attention to the road. "If you don't mind me asking, how exactly did you end up fighting for a cab near a liquor store parking lot?"

Gloria released a long breath and pushed her hair away from her face. "Sonia was supposed to pick me up! I waited and waited, and nothing! And of course, my phone dies the second we land, so I cannot even scream at her. So I tell myself, 'Gloria, you are a strong, grown woman. You do not need them, you can take a taxi!'"

Jason smiled slightly. “I’m guessing that plan didn’t work out.”

“The taxi broke down!” Gloria exclaimed, throwing one hand into the air. “We were driving maybe twenty minutes when suddenly the car started making this terrible noise. Ta-kar, ta-kar, ta-kar!, and then smoke coming out from under the hood. The driver tells me, ‘It’s okay, lady, this happens sometimes.’ Sometimes?! I’m sitting inside a car that sounds like it is being murdered, and this man is acting as if we stopped for coffee.”

Jason nodded while changing lanes. "Okay, yeah, that explains the mood."

“Exactly! So I have to drag all my luggage to the side of the road and wait for another one! Then when one finally comes, that little rat-man tries to steal it from me.”

Jason glanced over with amusement. “I think he realized pretty quickly that he’d picked the wrong woman.”

Gloria sat a little straighter, clearly pleased with that observation. “He was very lucky you came when you did because I was about to stomp his feet with my heels.”

“Ouch. That'd have hurt like hell.”

"Of course it'd hurt like hell," Gloria replied seriously. "That izz the point."

Gloria’s irritation finally began easing. For the first time since climbing into the Nissan, she properly looked around the interior before glancing toward him.

“You have a very nice car.”

“Thank you.”

Gloria gave him a suspicious look. “And you live across from Jay?”

“Yeah, I bought the place across the street a while back. Mr. Pritchett helped me out with a few things when I first moved in, and we’ve talked a few times since then. He invited me to the barbecue today, actually.”

Gloria’s expression immediately brightened. “Ah, so you are coming! Good. Then I have to bring you something because you saved me from spending another hour fighting with taxi drivers.”

"You really don't have to do that."

“No, no, no,” Gloria said firmly as she waved away the objection. “You will get something. I make this hot sauce using my grandmother’s recipe. Ana-Maria Rosa de la Immaculada Jimenez Morales. She was a terrifying woman, but she made the best hot sauce.”

Jason repeated the name inside his head and decided it was probably safer not to attempt saying the whole thing aloud while driving. "That is... quite a name."

Gloria smiled proudly. "In Colombia, our names have history! My grandmother always said if a man couldn’t remember a woman’s full name, he didn’t deserve to marry her.”

Jason chuckled. “That sounds like a pretty effective screening process.”

“She screened many men.”

"I don't doubt that for a second."

Gloria turned slightly toward him, looking more comfortable now. “You like spicy food?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good. Then I give you a jar. But you have to be careful because it is very hot. The first time Jay tried it, his face became red like a tomato, and he drank a whole carton of milk.”

Jason laughed. “Now I definitely want to try it.”

"Wait! I forgot to ask your name," Gloria said.

"I'm Jason Miller," He replied.

...

[15 minutes later...]

Jason pulled the Nissan up in front of the Pritchett house's main gate and parked near the curb. Gloria reached behind her seat, gathered the two smaller bags, and climbed out while Jason walked around to the trunk. He opened it and lifted her suitcase.

“Ay, you don't have to do that,” Gloria said.

“I know,” Jason replied with a smile. “But you'd have to come out twice to get it, and since I'm already here, I'll save you some time.”

Gloria smiled and walked toward the gate. Finding it locked, she pressed the buzzer and leaned closer to the speaker.

“Sonia! Open the gate! Your sister is finally here!”

A moment later, the intercom crackled.

“Aunt Gloria?”

Her expression immediately brightened. “Manny! Open the gate, cariño!”

The lock buzzed, and Gloria pushed the gate open before Jason followed her up the walkway with the suitcase.

At the front door, Gloria set down her bags and turned toward Jason. She stepped forward and wrapped him in a warm hug. “Thank you, Jason. You were such a gentleman for helping me today.”

Jason returned the hug. “You're welcome, Gloria.”

The door opened behind her.

“Aunt Gloria!”

Gloria immediately turned toward Manny, her face lighting up.

“Manny!” 

She hugged him.