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April Question Thread (Patreon)

Published:
2024-04-03 07:05:25
Imported:
2026-06

Content

Ask away!!!!!

Comments

The Blockiest Transfem

Whats up Cumboy, Semenman, and spunker, whats the best mexican food and why

Hispanic Clone Trooper

Hello vampire werewolf and ghoul. If you could make a folklore monster that would haunt the next generation, what nightmare would you create? Keep on slaying

my cat is transphobic

hey all, first time question asker here i got my first tattoo recently, and was wondering if any of you had any interesting tattoo stories about you or someone else (by the way i lied about being a first time question asker. fuck you.)

Patreon sucks, I can’t make funny names

Hello stank, wrank, and Chernobyl stench Currently working on a video on how to body box a ghost. if you had to do so, how would you go about it and who would you challenge?

colandros sucks toes

Hey Chris Benoit, Bobby Lashley, and Big Daddy V. Have any of you ever been royally pissed off at a spoiler for a game/movie? Any examples? Love ya boys!

the coolest tranny in the jungle

What's a band or artist whose breakup or retirement hit you harder than you expected? Sum41 just dropped their final album and I'm way sadder than I thought I'd be. Happy April you chronic gooners!

Emmet Daly

Well Bai's how's things? Simple question, What movie/show would you replace the entire cast except one person with Muppets? I'd like to see LOTR but gandalf is the only Human.

Scooped Mids

In all seriousness if you all had a fight to the death, whom do you think would win? Alliances are allowed but eventually one must be crowned the victor.

ALT

Hello Ricky Gervais, Stephan merchant, and Karl pilkington, would you rather be a communal tampon or a taco bell toilet for 24 hours. You can perceive and feel everything and suicide isn't an option

LR INT Kid Buu

Hey gay, gayer, and gayest. Who are some of your favorite fighting game characters? I personally love Captain America in MvC

Haggis

Waddup Boner Inspiration, Chris' Irresistible Dance and Sweeney's Hideous Laughter. How do you all want to be remembered after you die, say in 100 years from now? Stay moist and keep the gay shit cumming.

DevinIsPregnant

Would you rather shotgun blast every time you cum, or go into a comatose-like state for 15 hours+ every time you sleep? Nothing can wake you up, not drugs or physical force. The blast of the cum is like a small punch.

you are what you eat which is why im a murderer

hello you magnificent bastards. ive been listening since around episode 20 or so, and ive been watching chris and derrick since i was like 14. so i finally decided to pay what i owe. hope you feel old. anyways, has your partner ever gotten you into a piece of media you never thought you would get into? my partner finally got me to get sanrio stuff and i can't lie i think i get why they're loved. thanks for all the laughs for the past 6 years i hope for many more to come.

Haggis

Hello Two and a half Blackmen. Have you ever considered bringing on a guest of the fairer sex onto the show? If so, who would you each pitch as a good(?) fit for your preposterous banter?

pigeon with a strapon

not a question, but i had Dragon Ball dream where Goku was late for Gohan's birthday and had no present so he turned away, came inside a condom, wrapped it up nice with a bow and everything, and gave it to Gohan with the message "in case you and Videl get serious". I dont know what this means, i think i need to get some help

googling what is a blumpkin at work

Hello different varieties of slurs with the rise in popularity fo smiling friends, I've been a bit nostalgic for older adult swim shows so what were some of your favorites? I personally loved aqua teen hunger force and space ghost coast to coast.

Chris be like-Make videos or gay sex hmmmmm

Hey fellas, Why did the PSP fail? It just seems like an odd thing that happened considering the massive success that is the Switch and the Steam deck. Were people not ready for it? Was Sony too ahead of the market? Did one of you not buy one causing it to fail?

LR INT Kid Buu

Do you mean the Vita? I thought the PSP was a success

Cruelty-free Pleatherface with electric chainsaw

Guys, Squirt is just piss. They may say that it also is comprised of vaginal lubricant and excretions from Skene’s glands, but let me give you a comparison to consider. Sperm only makes up a small percentage of the volume of semen. If a guy who has had a vasectomy sneaks in while you’re sleeping and silently throws rope across your face, are you going to say, “Oh, no problem, bro, that wasn’t cum you just glazed me with”? No. The addition or subtraction of a small element isn’t going to change whether it’s piss or cum. It’s gross. Bitches gotta stop pissing all over the place. At least get a glass so Lily can enjoy it. Please discuss.

Sly Cooper and the gang running a train on Carmelita

Hello Snark, Horny, and Facade. Long time patron, first time listener. What are some things you guys are envious of about each other. Could be as dumb as physical attributes or lived events. Ps if y’all are ever in Minnesota I’ll take you bar hopping and show y’all how a Viking gets down

East Palestine, Ohio being glassed by Israel because it's named after Palestine. P.S. I used to live there, it sucks.

Hallo educated black man, musical black man and Puerto Rican who makes music that hits too close. How would you three handle waking up with each others genitalia each morning and only the original owner having any sensation of what happens? For example: Chris wakes up one morning with Sweens and decides to get a Prince Albert. Chris'll feel nothing, but Sween will get the full experience.

Quentin Dunkaccino

Hello SnarkWANK If you were stuck in a Groundhog Day situation, reliving the same 3 days and the only way out is to become president, how do you escape the loop? I would exploit the knowledge I gain from everyone’s personal lives to ‘predict’ the future and pretend to be the messiah. Either that or I’ll go insane. Stay gay

Chat Noir

Hello woke guy, sleepy guy and dead inside guy. Each of you wakes up as a different member of imagine dragon for a week, before you just say "I kill myself" you have the opportunity to ruin their reputation, drop anything under their name, or you can stop one another from trying to ruin their lives. What happens?

Zero

Hey boys, is there ever going to be spotify inergration for the patreon page? I love it for Last Stand and, it would be cool to see it here too.

Colin Moriarty is a self proclaimed zionist btw

i can’t think of anything at the moment so imagine three racial epithets. what are some shows or movies you’ve seen or enjoyed recently? thoughts on dune 2? thanks niggas!

Stratman

Papa Bear, HoneyBadger and Mouse. Mostly for Sween, but who would your dream D&D table consist of?

venom? more like- I like Menom

Hey boys. What are some nick names within your friend groups that when prompted to tell the story of their origin, the person asking no longer talks to you at the party? (Worth mentioning I'm Australian, nicknames are definitely more of a thing here) My friends nickname is cherny (Chernobyl), because he once took a shit out of a tree and another friend said "why does your asshole look like the elephants foot?" My nick name is Jacmac, whilst being a combination of my first and last name; in 2012 playing halo reach with the boys I had an insane KD in btb and one of the boys said "you don't Frick frack the jacmac" it's a reference to a meme back in 2012 "you don't flim flam the ZimZam" a meme referencing George zimmerman getting a way with murdering Trayvon Martin

PP. when does the pain get better. help

Hi guacamole nword penises. How do you determine the difference between changing your mind after receiving new information or simply downloading a new opinion because you want to agree with someone you like?

Every time Sweeny interrupts I cum

What is up my goofy goobers, who's the strongest fictional character you think you could beat in a fist fight? I'd say for me it would be close but I could probably beat Caillou's dad

venom? more like- I like Menom

Tldr I have a nick name because some asshole killed a kid on the otherside of the world 12 years ago

Occam the Ram

Dear Mike, Lu, and Og, If you had to design a hitman level what would it be and what would the funniest disguise/story mission for Agent 47 be? Bonus points if you can make it gay themed. Keep busting my gut your chucklefucks. P.S. on a previous episode you asked why old bands keep touring, one reason is random musicians buy the naming rights and just tour as them. For example the band Foreigner has zero original members left.

ComicG

Hey guys. If you could permanently fuse with one other person in the world via Potara earrings who would it be? No matter who you pick, that person willing.

Commander-in-Queef

Hello (insert preferred racial slurs here). Name a show or game that you each loved so much it hurt when the writing became dogshit? I love gears of war but when 5 turned JD Fenix into a civilian killing war criminal as an excuse to sideline him it genuinely upset me.

Retardigrade

Hello 3 peens in my pod. Derrick talking about getting into Rammstein was pretty cool as they’re the artist I listen to the most by far, so I had to mention that if you haven’t seen they’re music videos for a lot of their newer stuff are fucking awesome. (Also if you haven’t already listen to Zick Zack it’s crazy)

BigUglyJordan

Dear Dark, Darker, Yet Darker- what’s a hobby you each would want to start if you had the means? I for one would love to own a good-sized workshop where I can tinker and build to my heart’s content.

wacky racists

Hello goon squad. What mundane game show would you love to absolutely ruin with the introduction of a singular chaotic element? Wheel of Fortune but it bankrupts you in real life? Jeopardy but instead of "double jeopardy", they release bees into the studio? Let me know.

Jacksondawg

Hello creatures. If given total freedom from any and all consequences, what hilarious pranks (crimes) would you do?

PapaGzeus

What's good you delectable dick-havers. If you could wake up in the body of someone else for 24 hours, whose body would you take over and what would you do? Note: if the person dies as a direct result of your actions, you don't get to wake back up in your body

Tendercut

What's a take you have, that will get you in trouble for sharing. Mine is that a nice butt on a girl is wasted on lesbians. They don't have the equipment to truly enjoy it to its fullest.

Rat Pobertson

Hey Ellen, Oprah and Wendy. Your favorite game of all time is being remade for "modern audiences." What changes would constitute a worst case scenario for each of you? Love and Cum, The Captain

I lick-a da penis

Hey their tubbies! What kids tv network (Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Disney Channel) did you guys watch the most growing up?

SquawksPal

What’s up guys! Have you caught any episodes of X-Men 97 yet, and if so, what are your thoughts?

splish splash I was gaping his ass

Hidey ho Franklin, Trevor, and Lamar What trials and tribulations do you think people should have to go through to earn passes for different slurs? Get fucked in the butt to earn the fag pass? Severe brain injury to call someone retarded? Blackface in a klan meeting to earn the n word pass?

Sween the typa guy to eat holographic meatloaf

I was at a friend's house, and after a few hours of hanging out he and his girlfriend abruptly went into his bedroom without saying anything to me. After 5 minutes I realized what was happening, and after 45 minutes of sitting by myself I said "fuck it" and left. He insists it was no big deal, so I ask: am I wrong for thinking it's shitty to bang someone while you have friends over?

platinum games should've made wolverine

Hey long Johnsons, Of all the friends houses you visited, what is the most inhuman den of a house you ever stepped inside of? Stay sexy and make more music now.

RK128

Hello Kings of the Homeless, It was amazing seeing you in person Chris, you guys killed it at Sacred 300. What was your favorite moment during the show? And what spots you recommend to visit?

Perfectly Straight Rainbow

Hello fellers, Just wanted to ask if you guys had any weird pet peeves when it comes to stuff in bands or songs? For example one of mine is when there’s a song and a word or phrase is repeated in the chorus and even worse A LOT of times and it ends up being the title of the song. Call me crazy but it seems corny to me. What say you?

GOTY guy: Beat Zelda BotW, Next Up: Hades!

You magically get the budget/ability specifically to make any project you want to make whether it’s a movie, TV show, or online content. What do you choose to create? CLARIFICATION: there’s no scheduling conflicts and everything you want to work out for this project magically works out.

Gym broboy

Hey butthead turd swallowers, With ya'll planning to have the podcast in person, will that also lead to more live action content? (Like the Twitter Trash series). Thanks and perish!

Nicholas Brilhart

Greetings Snarky Boys. Recently a coworker of mine spent nearly an entire month without their voice. That got me thinking, assuming your primary source of income wasn't your voice, how long do you think you could go without verbally talking?

Colin Moriarty

Howdy frinky slinky and dinky what is an objectively bad piece of media you will defend to death?(The Room or any Neil breen film not allowed)

Billiam The Walrus (Loser) Man

What is up latent schizophrenics and that other guy, if you could make an ambitious video game based on any movie/show/cartoon of your choosing, what would you pick and what would the game mechanics be? Bonus points for picking something stupid.

Sylvia makes a car louder any% speedrun

Hello, guys who come into my ears weekly. My favorite genre of science fiction writing is speculative biology/evolution, such as Man After Man, and All Tomorrows. I wanted to know your thoughts on it especially in regard to how it compares & contrasts with videogame aliens, such as those in Mass Effect or Halo. (Ps my name is supposed to be "one" (cum) by metallica)

GayTheQuicksterAKATheDICKSTER

Greetings internet schizo voices in my head!! Simple question this time: if you could each make a single person DEVASTATINGLY SENILE (like total sundowning) who would you choose for the most personally beneficial or funny results? Stay homo brothers

Hayden

Hello intelligent gentleman, I remember Derrick talking about power rangers spd, which was my favorite show as a kid, and I had the idea of the three of you being forced to be power rangers. Discuss how that would go.

Death rolling guys meat like a gator

Greetings Chris, Derrick, and the one who went to bat for Nazis Question from previous month. Is there any game mechanic (preferably shooter) with potential you feel hasn't been done before or done justice? Cheers.

Chris's alarmingly small nipples

Hello Five Guys, Taco Bell, and Raising Canes Unambiguous positivity time! What is something in your lives that you're really happy about? Any fun shit with Jojo? Any good memories from sacred 300? Has Lily drank any particularly good piss lately? Let me know what's been putting you silly creatures in a good mood

Scottertot

Howdy boys If you could make one person tell the truth for the rest of their life who would you pick, alternatively you can pick three people to tell the truth for one month each

Beeezie

Hey Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Fat Fuck Retard (just kidding love you Derrick) When I was in middle school my friends and I used to always draw random shit in the backs of textbooks. Shit like extremely unflattering caricatures of the special ed kids (we eventually got caught but i got away with it because i was "a pleasure to have in class"). The question is: What is some devious ass thing you used to do when you were young? Like real demonic shit you'd never do again? Please tell me so that I can cancel you. Die

Gears Of Sex

When are the Snark Tank licensed cum rags coming in, im tired of cumming on myself and letting it crust over. I can hardly move

the carefree cum catcher

Suddenly you awake to a bloody knife in your hand and a corpse on the ground. What do you do next?

Zorgolon

Hello black Johnny Cage, fat Nagoriyuki, and even shorter Pit with glasses -What is the best way to explain sex to a tween hitting puberty? -I had my parents explain it to me VERY vaguely and had no idea girls could get horny until I was around 16.

Napster of Puppets

Hey Unlockables and the Spic (Band name?) As my name and my greeting may suggest, I, just like Derrick, have a very immature sense of humor. There's only one person close to me that shares the same, often disgusting, sense of humor (My ex-wife, now best friend). Example: She's the only person that I can openly say that something is fucking gay and get a laugh out of. How do you cope with having a sense of humor that you can't share with almost anyone? It's even harder for me since I work in the film/TV industry and I ALWAYS have to be careful to not let my brand of humor slip out (You know how these far-left "artists" are). Thanks for the laughs and good day to you guys.

The Home Depot Day Labourers Who Touched My Son

Hell Penis Williams and the gay tones, simple question here but what's your favorite dumb fad of all time, example: fidget spinner, slap bracelet, planking ECT, thank you and have a nice day or don't

Ted Kaczynski

Hey Two and a Half Men. What are some of y’all’s favourite non-firearm weapons in video games? For me it’s probably either Blaidd’s great sword from Elden Ring or basically any time a throwing knife exists. Thanks for all the great episodes boys keep it up.

Nagito Gooner

Hey gays. It's me, sweenys favourite. Not really much of a question but just asking if you guys have heard of the newest Lolcow WorldOfTShirts. Seemed like a run of the mill disabled person that tiktok loves to harass, but he soon descended into serious alcoholism and now can't leave his NY home without being harassed and filmed. Also theirs a video of him screaming the n word. Lots of love! ❤️

Nagito Gooner

The video I mentioned is on the WorldOfTShirts subreddit BTW. Most upvoted

Nagito Gooner

That's genuinely mental. Of course that's weird LMAO

The Papini Bros hoping that Hideo Kojima gets to voice in the last Smiling Friends episode

Greetings to the Sole Reasons I’ve started watching the Dragon Ball Series. Time for a goofy music question. What are your favorite musical mixes/ musical rips? What I mean by that is, when you take the lyrics or music from two songs and mash them together. The YouTube channel SilvaGunner does a great job with this and I feel like Chris would like the channel, seeing as it’s nothing but gaslighting people into thinking they’re listening to an official soundtrack. Thanks and look forward to future merch!

Reviving jordan Peterson with 400 pigeon calves

Hi there goob, gooby, and Chris goob gun. New patron here. Quick question for you guys. While you guys are very funny, I also find your political takes and fun facts very interesting. My question for you guys as a 21 year old wanting to get into politics and also just wanting to just become a more learned person is, what books, articles, studies, authors, etc do you recommend? Thanks for all the laughs and genuine thoughtful conversations.

Fapboy and Cum Cum

Hey Edd, Ed, and Eddy. Long time housed and newly homeless. If you could entirely redesign your fellow cohosts (including voice) what would your edits be? Love the goofs and gaffs y'all get up to, keep on trucking

Bert Chintus

Hey spooks, probably has been asked before but any chance of getting Colin on the podcast? I know he’s a busy dude, but unhinged Colin would awesome. I watched a recent ep of constellation where Chris asked everyone to list fictional characters who were on Epstein’s flight logs. Hilarious shit.

Landon Keith

Hey Snark boyos! Something that came up on an episode of Sacred a while back was Colin mentioning Breaking Benjamin and with their lineup change, posing the question of whether that’s really Breaking Benjamin still or not. Much as I do enjoy Breaking Benjamin I definitely see that point. That prompted me to think though (and seemed fitting for this show): are there bands with lineup changes that you guys prefer/ended up better than the original? My mind instantly goes to Howard Jones with Killswitch Engage; they went from a band I really liked to one I absolutely loved all thanks to Howard Jones’ vocals. They went back to their original vocalist, and I think they’re still awesome, but IMO it doesn’t touch the Howard Jones era. His new band Light the Torch kicks ass. Anywho, appreciate all you guys do. Thanks for making my work days and commutes enjoyable with laughter. Hopefully Vince McMahon doesn’t shit on any of you guys (allegedly).

Sweeny showers in sneakers.

Howdy gents, Mostly Derrick but Chris/Sween feel free to chime in: have you see the indy wrestling promotion Soft Ground Wrestling Uganda? Its essentially its own wrestling promotion where all the wrestling happens on dirt, and the main heel was a white dude literally called Lord White. Keep being snarky

honestly names are cringe anyway

I know you think miles morales having his energy sword is dumb, but have you seen CW's DC stuff? The flash, reverse flash and godspeed have a lightsaber duel using swords made out of speedforce.

Sustingus

What kind of apocalypse do you think you fellas would do best in? Whatever the apocalypse is, humanity isn't totally finished or anything, but it's still 'the end of the world as we know it'.

Wolfang Ramirez

Hey 3 big booty enjoyers. I was just wondering what would be a really funny collectors edition item to add for a video game or movie, for example spec ops the line would be you getting you charged with real war crimes

GreyGhost got Promoted to Manager

You get any super power you want, BUT, you have to have a micropenis, less than 2 inches. You can’t have some superpower that fixes it either. You’re stuck with the micropenis forever. You takin it?

kweermo

Hypothetical situation: you get to have a dragon that you can fly around on and it's real badass, but you have to fuck Mitch McConnell. Are you getting that dragon?

Griffithaniel

Howdy boys! If you could pick things to have for an irl heads up display (HUD) what would you want to have.

Griffithaniel

Howdy boys! Not a question, but i would love to hear you guys write or rewrite some classic b-list kids action movies. Spy Kids, Sharkboy and Lavagirl, Sky High or the like. Would like to see how you all could improve those!

SillyPuttyEater

Hey goobers. If VR tech reaches sword art online/ready player one levels (basically full immersion in an entirely different world), how devastating do you think the effects would be on society as a whole?

Staingo Jenkins

Would you give up your creative outlets (making videos, music, etc) in order to live a more transient life of adventure? As in traveling often, visiting/exploring remote places in the country, new job ever year, etc. Asking for a friend.

shit, wait, circle back to me.

Sup Cunts, was wondering if you guys have any weird superstitions cause of random experiences, i have this thing where i worry that if i love some piece of art or media something horrible will happen to the creator or a cancelling will occur. like i got put on to Funhaus about a year before they fell apart i watched them every day and then BAM adam kovic is riding dildos in the same office he played games with his boys.

Incepted

Evening DEI-Cast, Simple question mainly for chris, if you may have taken a peek into modern gaming discussion you might’ve seen how anti critical thinking it’s been. My question is how do you feel about people plugging their ears on any sort of constructive thoughts on something big or even small aspects, mainly it applies to the art. Or do you think we should just turn off our brains and enjoy things. Thanks

shit, wait, circle back to me.

hey gays, what would you give notorious youtubers as their “serial killer name”? murderers are notorious for having names that are far cooler than they deserve like Richard Ramirez being called the Night Stalker, what serial killer name would you give notorious internet shmucks like Ethan Ralph and SSSniperwolf and so on?

Me gwan be clear with chu mon - Jamaica Obama

Greetings right wing pipeline. Mainly for Chris but open for all 3 of you. Any chance of you appearing in a guest role on Smiling Friends? Keep up the great work of converting the impressionable youth.

randeep kang

SUP eternal 13year old, Mr. always wrong, and Chris. Since dipshit said that assassin's creed 2 story was so stupid you guys make your own assassin's creed 2 plot. Like the gears of war movie you guys made on the extra ammo

MaxSilhouette

What's up you sweet tight boys! Since your gay parodies and silly movie ideas are such a hit with us poor unfortunate homeless, why not fusion dance those 2 ideas into a gay movie parody?

Watch the Big Lez show y fakin kants

Hello He, Him and Who. Do you have a really obscure game you played, that nobody is talking about? I remember a PS2 game called “Dog’s life” looking back on it feels like a fever dream. You played as a dog. Trying to rescue a female dog from an evil company, that was planning to turn her into a cat food. I need to play it again.

Gay Gamer, A Gaymer If You Will

Heya Chocolate Musketeers. You have the opportunity to create a new specialized chain store (like Best Buy specced with technology), what do you decide to sell?

kai

hey bisexual belated mistakes, one time I did a girl in a forest behind a bowling alley. Where’s the weirdest place you’ve done the deed? (very vital info)

DripMH, the Lord of Touhou

Heya Snarkies Quick follow up to my last write-in because I *genuinely* did not expect Derrick he'd actually give One Piece a shot. Just wanted to say that if he makes it as far as the 3rd arc when Ussop's introduced to tough it out because it's widely considered the worst arc in the series, though it's immediately followed by one of the best in the early material. Much love, laters

Are Sweeney and Derrick allergic to working out?

Hey fellas .The other day Hoobastank and chumbawamba both came on the Radio on my way to work and it just had me wondering . What do yall think is the gayest name for an artist/band?

Fdr (fat dick rogers)

‘Sup, goons. Have you ever gotten a weird reaction after telling someone where you grew up? I’m from Baltimore and decided to go to school out of state and there’s a weird amount of people from Maryland that came here too. Every conversation is the same, they’ll say there from a rich suburb and once I tell them where I’m from, they’ll look at me like I beat a newborn baby with a shoehorn. Thanks babies.

Where’s The Water

what’s up goon, gooner and goon supreme, to follow up from my last question about no music at work, i work at a shitty office for a big clothing brand where all we do is track sales and shit on a computer screen. for 6-9 hours. a day. so obviously, our GM allowed us to have headphones to pass the time since we do literally nothing all day, but eventually some fat ass corporate dude came in and some idiot didn’t get the memo to put his shit away and we got our rights revoked, one of the few times i genuinely considered bombing a building. my question is what was the absolute worst time someone else ruined something for you and your entire job, classroom, etc and if you have or haven’t considered ripping their heart out a la Indiana Jones

Woke up this mornin’, got myself some cum

Hey Chris Regge, Some Fap Guy, and the Notorious BLT. Long time listener since episode 0 and first time patron. Imagine the apocalypse has arrived and the only way you can escape is by using one of these vehicles: The Challenger Space Shuttle, the Ocean-gate Submersible, or Malaysian flight 370. Which do you choose? You can decide individually or collectively which option to take. Thanks for all the laughs

I lick-a da penis

Hey there skinny godzilla, fat godzilla, and just ok godzilla. What if there was a real life celebrity death boxing match where real celebrities had to box to the death to keep their fame? Who would you guys choose to fight each other and why?

Hayden Glass

How do you guys feel about J Cole sampling a Meat Canyon video? He sampled Wabbit Season, which includes the voices of MeatCanyon, Brock Baker and yalls friend Mick “RicePirate” Lauer. Crazy shit

Mister Jimmy Jam

Hello. If you could choose one game to get a remaster/remake to fix issues/improve on mechanics the game has, what would it be? I'll say The Sims 2.

Olympic gold medal mental gymnist

Howdy boys, recently my friend group and I made up a new ridiculous Creation myth where we are the result of Father time back shotting mother Earth. I would be interested in hearing what kind of fucked up reality you 3 can come up with. Ps we are all sentient sperm in our lore.

Staingo Jenkins

Got to double dip here. On ep 220, you started talking about Geiger counters. Through means I am unable to disclose, I was able to get one (wild story). Later, I became concerned with the water quality at my parents house. I insisted on a water test and found the uranium levels were 8x greater than the acceptable amount. They bought a filtration sytem so now its fine. One day I take the Geiger counter to one of the bathrooms I've been using since childhood. And the counter starts SCREAMING the moment I bring it close to the toilet. I am now waiting for the ass cancer to consume me.

Hunter Callaway

HARK TRIPLE OF TROUBLE! I have recently abandoned all video game pursuits for the joys of warhammer but still am feeling that urge to hop onto hell divers. Thus, my question is: is there any hobby type activity you feel yourself being pulled to but cannot do because you devote more time and importance to another hobby/liesure activity? To clarify, outside of work, ie a 9-5 or youtube.

Stripping copper to cop strippers

Hay there Chris RayCon, Sween, and Derick (don’t know how to spell Derik nor do I care to learn) With Smiling Friends coming out with season 2 are you worried for Zach Hadel aka psychicpebbles that he’ll gain popularity and the masses might find out he said the n-word? Or do you think it’ll be a Joji/Filthy Frank situation where no one will give a shit. I hope the latter as I’m a die hard fan until we find out he’s a pedophile, god forbid

Questionable

Would you rather wake up one day looking like super sayian broly from dragon ball or freeza

FUCK THE TAR HEELS FUCK THE NITTANY LIONS GO VOLS

Hello Black Snake, Black Ocelot, and Chico. Long time listener, first time homeless person. I recently replayed the Metal Gear series in preparation for the Snake Eater remake, and have found that "Ground Zeroes" was the most fun I had with the franchise, even better than "Snake Eater." So, my question is what would you three respectively say is your favorite Metal Gear game and what is your favorite moment/character from it? Hugs and kisses XOXO

Dank McObamna, Lord of Drone Strikes

Greetings Dick, Dick, and Richard, Not really a question, just wanted y’all to be aware of a new Amazon movie starting John Cena who sings hypersexual covers of famous songs. You should sue. P.S. fun fact: John Cena has a contract stipulation in all movies he makes where he always does a take in English and Chinese. Enjoy the misinformation

Hunter Callaway

HARK TRIO OF TREPIDATION! Lately i have been really diving into 40K minis and it has swallowed my spare time whole, leaving me torn between painting/assembling minis or hopping into RDR2 or Helldivers. That said my question is: do you have any hobbies outside work that eat up time you want to spend on other hobbies? IE, outside youtube or a standard 9-5, cheers.

Perfectly Straight Rainbow

Hey boys just wanted you to know that something called “Cum Metal” exists. A subgenre of baddie core. Bands in this genre include Sleep Token and Deftones. I thought Derrick would at least get a kick out of this lmao

Panda Junkie

Hello, I hope this question finds you well. I heard it on WKUK's Self Suck Saturdays (RIP Trevor Moore), & thought it would be perfect for you guys. If your mom & sexual partner switched bodies & the only way to reverse it was to fuck one of them to completion, what do you do? Looking forward to your collective insight. Thanks

Chris be like-Make videos or gay sex hmmmmm

Hello Darky, Darker, and WHITE MAN, this question is more towards Derrick and Sween. What did you guys think about the House of the Dragon show? What are your favorite moments and are you guys worried about this fucking up like GoT?

Just Kidding Simmons

Dear Dead, Gay, and Black, Curious what your thoughts are on the 2019 film Joker? The trailer for Joker 2 dropped today and it looks kinda great. Can’t wait for the merch drop btw. Tootles

Freddie your bigges fan

Hello it's me your biggest fan If you have the divorce your current spouses And mary one of the members from the podcast who would it be in why Lots of love your biggest fan freddie ❤️

Yall NEED to get Danny Motta on

What made you guys fall in love with certain games like destiny or halo was it how the game felt or the fun you had with friends?

The Royal Cum Catcher

Hello you fine gentlemen! I recently learnt during my studies that within the court of Henry 8th of England, there was a role of Royal Cum Catcher/Semen Bowl Holder to clean up his emissions. If you were king what heinous jobs would you introduce?

Cummander ShepHARD

How do you guys think the Baldur’s Gate 3 companions would react to the Mass Effect companions? Like how would Lae’zel react to the Krogan? What would Karlach think about the galaxy? Thought it would be a fun thought experiment. Keep it up!

Zorro CUMmeado

Howdy, have you ever smacked your dick accidentally(HARD SLAP) when taking a bath while trying to grab falling soap or something you dropped, this happened to me recently so it left me pondering and in quaking pain.

shit, wait, circle back to me.

yurrrrr, what’s y’all’s favorite original songs from fictional universes, like any songs from spongebob or phineas and Ferb or live action like that version of the blondie song from The Boys by Soldier Boy, riff at your leisure

theduckyduck

hey guys, imagine a fantasy world where everyone who's been to epstein's island is somehow put on trial, prosecuted, and sentenced for various child endangerment, exploitation, assault, etc. crimes (lot of suspension of disbelief, i know). now also imagine that stephen hawking is still alive. what do they do to him? do they put an almost entirely paralysed man in prison? house arrest?

CrimsonPassione

Quick question, if all of you were to do a commentary track for a movie which movie would it be, the idea of watching rocky with the commentary track being all about piss bits sounds much more enjoyable.(possible extra ammo material)

I lick-a da penis

Hey Jeffery Dahmer, O.J. Simpson, and Bob Marley. Which would you choose: never needing to sleep or never needing to use the bathroom?

Snorting Viagra to make my nose hard

Hey Eyes, Ears and Mouth. What is the most drastic jump you've made in a conversation. Had a conversation with my coworkers that started out with if you could drown in concrete and ended with gay Arthurian dragon Ball z with such characters such as King Arthur Goku "gawk gawk" King of the gays. And Master Roshi just being renamed to Master Rape

theduckyduck

must be cool to have derrick, chris, and sween as coworkers

Kuzco

Genuine Question. If you shrunk Sweeney down to 3'10" but he kept the same mass could you take him in a fight.

The name’s Raymond Pist but my friends call me Ray

Evening Snark Boys. Mortal Kombat needs 3 new DLC characters, and they have asked you to come up with who. The stipulation is that they want one fictional character, one mainstream celebrity and one internet celebrity. Who are you choosing and what are their fatalities?

Imagine Dragons Official

Hey boys, long time listener and first time homeless person. As someone who just got finished getting married last year I now find the wedding industry to be an absolute bloodsucking scam that punches you in the dick every chance it gets. My question to you guys is have you ever had a similar experience of thinking an industry/organization is completely normal at first only to find out later its a scummy scam filled horror show? Ps thank you guys for bringing me a smile and laugh during my work commute every week.

Shape of Poo, Ed Smearan

What up wild, expecially, and maybe a few too many racial slurs maybe; my question is this: expecially with all the wild shenanigans going on at Boeing, how do you guys stay calm leading up to, and on flights? I've been trying to remind myself that dying in a fiery crash is statistically incredibly unlikely, but I can't get it out of the back of my head that maybe mine will end in tragedy and be the one that finally forces these pieces of shit to change the business fundamentally. n word

The Peen Goblin

Long time listener, first time patron. Finally worked myself out of homelessness, just to immediately support the Snark Tank and head right back into it. Henry Cavil Mentioned he upped his swordsmanship for the latest Highlander film. What's your favorite examples or movies involving sword play? I'm a Mask of Zorro fan.

Mikesapien

Hola, trio los Snarkos! As your only conservative listener, I wonder - would you be open to having a guest with an opposing viewpoint on the show? Someone like Sargon or JonTron would probably be up for it and be an entertaining guest. -- EDIT: Allow me to clarify, since you answered this in episode 223. You may have misinterpreted the spirit in which I asked the question. I am asking about a discussion rather than a debate, since Snark Tank is a comedy show. I figure a guest like Jon might be a good fit, since he isn't overtly political, but he leans right on some things where the three of you lean left, which could make interesting conversation. Sargon is about as funny as an audit; he's just good at explaining the mindset of the other side of many of the issues you've discussed on the show. tl;dr more guests in general. Bring back Shoe On June

shooting ropes to hang myself with

In the spirit of DEI, OJ dying and The Naked Gun discussion, I thought you would like to know that nordberg(oj) was actually a raceswaped recast. The show that naked gun is based on has a white nordberg who only appeared like twice. Also, did you see the Liam neeson/Seth MacFarlane naked gun reboot get announced?

I lick-a da penis

If having to commit a school shooting, which fictional weapon would you guys choose? Me personally, I would use a Halo.

Ave, True to caesar

Sween and Derrick what are your thoughts on the new good times trailer?

Yung Sweeny pissing himself in a pizza shop

Hey Sexist(Chris), Racist(Sween), Closeted Homophobe(Derek)! Let's say hypothetically you are thrown back in time to stop 1 event from happening or changing the course of history, what would it be? Mine would be to shoot Ronald Ragan again and make sure that fucker dies

Grumbledor .

Sup Gunslinger, Bard, and racist, I have a hypothetical. You are put into a COD Zombies situation and you have to fight waves of slightly off clone versions of yourselves (they come in waves of like 10 idk). How many waves do you think you can survive?

ASTROBOY

Was up boyz random question here for all yall skyrim playin ladz wat are yalls fav build in skyrim and or fav perk vampires lord or werewolf or were yall like “nah thats gay” and stayed a regular human ight peace

Happy HalloGay to Chris and the 2 Spooks

How would you react if: You were on a cruise, and you notice a school of Tuna Fish. Suddenly, a great white shark jumps out of the water, and pulls out a gun. He then proceeds to shoot the Tuna with the Glock held sideways. He then retreats with his catch before anyone else notices

GreyGhost got Promoted to Manager

Greetings. okay hear me out, Sweeny is the main character. Listening to the stuff about J Cole from sweeney and Derick, Sweeny is the protagonist who we root for, but he’s flawed and messes up like constantly. Honestly kinda like Goku with the way he just says dumb shit. Which makes Chris the villain of the show, with all of his lies and tricks, and obviously Derick is the smartest and the sex appeal of the show.

guy with Average sized penis

Just turned 18 this month, any interesting stories from you three of when you reached legal adulthood. (if my question doesn’t get picked it’s homophobia)

GEARSxWARRIOR

Not really a question, but it’d be cool if y’all were my mouthpiece. Attention all homeless niggas, I want to host a gears 3 horde session and want volunteers. All who have it message me on the discord. Chris, sween and Derrick, y’all can join if you feeling it or not busy

Bruce The Genetic Jackhammer Rando

I just need to interject, Derrick and Sweeney were glazing Jamie Lannister from Game of Thrones on a recent episode. Chris, I want you to know he raped his sister in front of their dead son at his funeral in a church… even after that he was still a fan favourite

Thesacster

Hey Bootleg Ginyu force Question: If you had a bag full of Senzu Beans what would be the first thing you would do with them? Let’s say about 15 of them in the bag. Would you hand them out to people in need or would you make jackass style videos with them?

Transfem JJJ

Hey Man Gay, SweenBoob, and Perrick My question is If you had a visible combo meter appear for you to nut, What meter would you have and announcer? (Other people can see and hear it) Have a nice day :)

nfnpgllxhn

Hello Astarion, Lae'zel, and Gale (chris, derick, sween). This is a question for chris mostly. I know you've said you're done caring about the halo IP but is there anything they could announce you'd be excited for when it comes to spinoffs. Personally a COD zombies style game with the flood would make me cream my mark IV, Thanks for all the laughs your show keeps me sane at work

Finally Played Deadlock, now I feel scared

Hey Dark, milk, and white chocolate. Here's a fun hypothetical for you, if you could choose one game to become and NPC in (as in NOT the main character or side characters, just an unnamed NPC), which game would be the safest, most dangerous, and most fun? I think the safest would be star dew valley, most dangerous would be Halo or fallout, and most fun would be PaRappa The Rapper

DanTheManWithThePants

Can ya'll please talk about the woman who weekend at Bernie's-ed a dead man into the bank trying to get a loan

The Cholo Who Punched Derrick

Hey PP crankers, have you heard of TheCinemaSnobUncut? He has a Pornhub channel dedicated to creating in depth porn reviews. I couldn't believe my eyes when I came across one of his reviews after looking for the "Super Hornio Bros" porno owned by Nintendo.

Dr. Rayenstein

Hey Ed Edd n Eddy coating plank with gallons of cum, what do you think about ubisoft pay walling Jabba the hut quest in the soon to be released star wars outlaws. As a star wars fan boy I'm upset because the jedi series of games from EA is surprisingly alright (for EA), But I'm not confident in ubisoft to put out a puzzle of a game that you to pay per piece.

Hey Hole Fister by Train

The mutant Apocalypse is from Egypt. Egypt is in Africa. Apocalypse is African. Can he say the N-word?

splish splash I was gaping his ass

Hey gay black emo faggots (Chris is black too) What is the best gay cover idea/lyrics you’ve made/heard but can’t or don’t plan on making it into an actual cover Cheers homos

Incepted

This question is for sween and for sween only. You ever suck your uncle’s dick by mistake?

Chris be like-Make videos or gay sex hmmmmm

Hey you three, I'm planning on touring a country for the first time and I'm planning on going to the country (not state) Georgia. What countries have you been to and would recommend?

Gears Of Sex

Pleeease do another vegas show 😤 Also, can me and derrick be gym bros? he's all legs and i'm all arms so we could be gay and even out.

Bert Chintus

Hello first, second, & third leg of the forbidden one. I want to know what was your first “fuck around and find out moment” mine was in second grade when someone told me my yugioh card was fake, and I said no your mom is fake and he punched me in the face. Love you all keep it up.

Gooptrooper

Salutions dark, darker and TĤƏ VØĮƊ! Would you rather have your nose be replaced with a penis relative to your noses size, OR have your earlobes be replaced with balls(one testicle per ear)

Tacko2D

Chris, on Summon Sign (wrong podcast I know) you asked where people are finding weird bootleg gaming stuff in Puerto Rico. You gotta go to the flea markets and the local game shops. Which are very hidden, but full of weird gems like that Luigi whatever. If you ever find yourself on the island, go to Video Game Awesome or Neo Japan Games

Turning Point US GAY

Howdy two gentlemen and Sweeny. On a previous Dark Tank episode, Derrick talked about Jedi Mind Tricks. What other more "obscure" or "your favorite rapper's favorite rapper" type hip hop artists do you guys like? Some ones that come to mind for me are Aesop Rock, Busdriver, Prof and (maybe not so much now) Run the Jewels. Take care and stay Snarky.

Zorgolon

The vita was sick, but didn't have good games really outside of Minecraft at the time I owned one

Zorgolon

Hello fellow humans! What should be my new username for D2 The Final Shape? I get one opportunity to change it permanently and I wanna make it good. However, I can't change it to something already taken or too spicy. Thanks!

I lick-a da penis

Hey there my gooners! Let's say that every time you jacked off, one giant dog-sized sperm would shoot out and you'd have to kill it each time. Would you still beat your meat?

Sylvia makes a car louder any% speedrun

Hello, slurs, what would you have to be given, money, objects, cars, or anything, in order to let someone blow the tip of your pinky finger off with a 12 gauge shotgun

PapaGzeus

Hey hey hey boys. This one is mostly for Sween, but did yall know that MF DOOM is actually English? I just found that out recently, as well as the fact that he never even got his US citizenship despite living there most of his life

Lord Zedd cucks Rita with Goldar

Howdy Howdy you snarky fuckers! The other day my sister and i were watching trashy movies and somehow ended up on The Pest with John Leguizamo, which led to a conversation about which celebrities have actually participated in human hunting? I thought this concept was better in yalls hands.

Jello

Hello sir snarks would you rather the video game industry go fully service based or stay the way it is with buying a console and games a la carte. Love yall ps I’m so happy I was the catalyst for “lots and lots of Jews in planes”

John Martian

Hello Winnie the Coon, Niglet, and --my Lawyer has told me not to finish this joke--, Theoretical for you, today: We’ve developed time travel that allows us to make movies from a person’s real life. Who’s biopic would you see, on the grounds that no secrets would be withheld, and no punches would be pulled? Bonus points if you don't choose anyone on Epstein's List or Hitler.

Fent-Fold Bilbo Baggins

Probably a very common question, but have you ever done ad reads for products you don't actually like?

I lick-a da penis

Hey there Buddy Holly, Bob Marley, and Stevie Wonder! Is there a music video that completely scared you when growing up? For me it was the video for "Somebody That I Used to Know".

I'm 4ft11

Sween - How annoyed are you with the misconception that Homelander (from The Boys) would be a real threat to any average DC superhero? Also - is his comics rant going to last more or less than 5 uninterrupted minutes?

Doctor Screw shagging his way through time and space

Greetings boys, I have a question that will challenge both your historical and combat knowledge. If every American president got into a battle royal fight to the death (no Items) who would win and why?

Quantum Load

Probably a question just for Chris and Derrick, but have you guys ever thought about using AI for some of the gay song covers? Of course, I'd rather hear you guys do the work. But it is also funny to almost hear the actual singer singing the gay lyrics.

GreyGhost got Promoted to Manager

Captain Maldonado, Colonel Pilot, Lieutenant Commander Jameson; My request is simple: Each of you give one of your cohosts an amazing, and a horrid disgusting Fuck Marry Kill. Permission to be dismissed?

Stick a katana up my ass and call me a shishkebab

Hey there anemic, wide, and rotund. Just wanted to say that while I agreed with most of Derrick’s criticisms of the Fallout show, I found it crazy that he thought the vault plotline was good enough to not get criticized. I only found those scenes to astronomically slow down the pacing of the show, and by the end- which I know Derrick hadn’t gotten to yet in episode 225- the payoff for this entire plotline was for the most part revealed to Lucy anyways when she confronts her father. The only thing we learn is that they’ve got other people in those cryppods. On top of that they build up to a confrontation between Lucy’s twink brother and the old lady Overseer just for there not to be one lol. Anyways was just wondering now that Derrick has hopefully finished the show if his take was still the same or if it’s changed. Cheers from the shithole state of Florida and here’s to however many more episodes before you guys somehow get Keith David on the podcast and Sween makes him go into cardiac arrest by showing him his bare asshole over Discord.

Gooptrooper

Imagine you're being held in a remote location by an Epstein type; and to earn your freedom you have to consume an entire leather armchair without utensils. You are allowed a gallon of water a day but no other forms of food. How long would it take for you to complete the given task? (you can't kill yourself)

SomeVodkaBottle

Hello knives, guns, and black chun li. big fan first time patron. Been watching you 3 bumbling fucks since I was 11 in 2017. So if I commit any crimes I'm using Chris as a scapegoat. What's the craziest family lore you've learned from family members. Personally one of my family members designed lazer weapons for the Soviets in the 70s-80s. Keep on with the dope content

Wolf Haley

Hey idiots, long time listener, been subscribed to the patreon for a minute. What's a game with a world and story you really enjoy but really can't jive with the gameplay? I ask because Fallout has a really interesting world I'd rather get shot then play any of the games.

Emmet Daly

This is a question for sween...ya think the piece I did for you of curbstomping uncle Ben would be a fun shirt idea

No Penis No Cry

Just letting you know I have fan art of the incredible "Scumbag" shirt. I got too scared to bc the fish-eye lens effect makes it look like a legit racist sign I saw at a garage sale one time. So, I turned Kingston into an outlaw bug-man in a series I'm writing in my downtime. If I ever get it going anywhere I think it'd be funny to have a cameo if any of you were down. Anyway, my @ is in my bio if you want to check it out. Smooches, pooches ;>

Mr. Hot Salsa

Not a question but a recommendation. In episode 225 you guys talked about using an AI generated voice. You guys should try to find the Captain Dickhead voice that SleepyCabin used in their lost episodes. Also fun fact, the actor that played King Robert in Game of Thrones also played Fred Flinstone in the live action movie.

Mr. Hot Salsa

Question. What DragonBall ability would you like to obtain? For me it's Instant Transmission.

SomeVodkaBottle

Hey Goon tank. Would you rather shit but it's the same consistency as cum. Or would you rather piss but it's the same consistency as cum. You will shit and piss your regular volume. You cannot kill yourself.

dort snort

watsup brothers and Chris i guess (white devil). How do you feel about the state of media criticism especially in the realm of gaming. some of my favorite games have been killed due too the internet dog pile yet complain that nothing is innovative (cursed clash)

Gym broboy

watsup brothers and Chris i guess (white devil). How do you feel about the state of media criticism especially in the realm of gaming. some of my favorite games have been killed due too the internet dog pile yet complain that nothing is innovative (cursed clash)

Bletus 1

Have yall ever played monster hunter? if not will yall ever give it a chance when then new one comes out. (Come out 2025 hopefully)

Carpeted Microwave

Good day darkish gentlemen, could you fart so hard your balls explode?

Incepted

Evening DElCast, Recently a "lost song" was found as a 17 second clip called “Everyoke Knows That” was posted vaguely and not much information was given before the original poster disappeared. After 3 years of searching for what this song was it was discovered the song came from a 1980's porno called “Angels of Passion”. He led the internet on a wild goose chase because he was too ashamed to admit he was jorkin it. Now my question is how far would you let a lie go on to hide something you did or something you know?

Ben Bocklage

I would like your opinion me and my friend had this debate since highschool. Is there a huge difference between alligators and crocodiles I say there is while my friend thinks there isn't?( His opinion is dumb and gay).

Ben Bocklage

I would like your opinion on this. Me and my friend had this debate since highschool. Is there a difference between alligators and crocodiles? I say there isn't and my friend there is.( His opinion is dumb and gay)

Hungry Howie

Hey Ed, Edd, and Speddy. Since Derek thinks he could easily fight off a wolf and most dog breeds, how many aggressive german shepards do you think each of you could fight at once before you lose?

Pissed uncle pants

Hey Chris, Sween, and ! Been listening since the start and finally bit the Patreon bullet for the merch. My question is if something were to happen that would immediately turn you into a raging bigot with no chance of rehabilitation, what would that thing be?

Cum the DNA of the soul

Yo Mr. Topher, I remember you talking about owning the super slept on PSVITA. My question is what is your favorite vita exclusive?