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April Question Thread (Patreon)

Published:
2026-04-07 23:54:12
Edited:
2026-04-07 23:58:35
Imported:
2026-04

Content

Sorry about the late post, but it's here now.... Hit us with some questions. and stay safe in these streets NIGGAS

Comments

Man In Distress

Dear Snarkers, I know I missed the life advice column but I need GENUINE HELP. My wife found my secret "jilk blanket" that I use to catch my "milk" (a.k.a. man jilk (a.k.a. jizz milk)). As soon as I heard the sound of tarp unfurling, I knew the jig was up. My wife left me. My kids left me. MY DOG LEFT ME. And to make matters worse, my old high school bully found my home and broke in UNANNOUNCED. He was straight up Donald Duckin' it (eight inches soft). He planted one of his size 38 Timbs on my sternum, yanked my waistband smoove open, and pissed MY PANTS. And then he had the gall to spit on a photo of my not-yet-legally-ex-wife that I had lovingly taped to my jilk blanket. Please please I need guidance before I succumb to the fear that hate is not enough.

Chris

Would you say the hard R to Candace Owen’s face

splish splash I was gaping his ass

Hey snarkas I always thought green day and punk music was mega gay but now I'm a huge fan Are there any genres of music or or other media you never thought you'd like but grew on you? Also drop more scumbag merch so I can give you moneys

The Dead Spider

With the Mad King Trump about to kill us all, what is your last day on earth plans? Mine is having my first beer ever, while listing to My Chemical Romance in my lawn chair of my driveway and fading away. (I’m 28 and I’ve never had alcohol or drugs) Much love from the last Liberal in Oklahoma

Ballace and Gropeit

Hey snark boys Do you guys think Angus Young is a little too old for his last name? Like he should change his name to Angus Old. That'd be pretty cool I think.

Every time Sweeny interrupts I cum

If you had to pick between jacking off Sween to completion before every episode of the podcast but you each got $1000 everytime he finishes OR watch someone you love get spit roasted LIVE every night before bed but you can pay $1000 to turn it off for a week, which do you pick?

OMINID

Nihao fellers, Now that we live in a post Snark Tank boob ranking (attempted) how bad would an episode have to be for y'all not to post it? No technical difficulties or anything just straight up not entertaining or funny in the slightest. Thanks for everything, this podcast has been a highlight of my week for years at this point <3

A bowl of milk with no nails

Hello sludge, slime, and goop, You often talk about the "going back to the backlog", and as someone who started playing games during the tail end of the PS3, Xbox 360 era, I feel like I missed out on a lot. If you could choose a holy trinity of older consoles to get my hands on, what would you recommend? I have a PC but would prefer to own the games/consoles physically instead of emulating. Thanks in advance!

No Penis No Cry

Recently found out my 18-year-old brother is brain rotted via Nick Fwentez and Alex Jones. I'm ten years older and the only "woke" person in my family. I don't believe my family are literal biggots, just confused and under the conservative spell. That said, fucking I hate holidays so God damn much. Anyway, how would you realistically handle being a positive influence in my situation? I don't want to cut them off because that tends to just make people butt-hurt and stubbornly double down on their bullshit.

Realizing Dr. Herbert West is a twink

My shit got stolen a couple weeks ago and I'm wondering how exactly I should go about looking to replace it. The shit, for reference, being a Series X and OLED Steam Deck. This is especially vexing to me, considering Steam doesn't even have Steam Decks anymore.

Temple of the Phucked Dawgs

Hello Grim Reaper, Grim Reapist, and Grim Rapist. I don't know if its been brought to your attention, but the snark tank curse of predicting a person's death has struck again. In episode #320 at 1:08:45 Sweeny makes a joke about Charlie Kirk knowing when he is going to die. During the bit Sween says that he has 7 months to live, that episode was 11 months ago. That is all. P.S. Derrick's room is constantly spinning, the camera is just doing its best to keep up.

rsr4

Hey my fellow snarkiggas What's the worst advertisment (or advertising trend) that you've seen?

Man from Nantucket I came in UR mom Lakers in 5

Hello Puerto Rican Ranger, Caribbean Ranger, and Black Ranger, To add to your growing list of Professional listeners. I am an Aircraft Security Officer in the Bay Area. I listen to Derek and Sween scream the Hard R while searching for weapons and Improvised Explosive Devices. BTW I'll sometimes out of boredom project this podcast through the aircraft PA system. April is my birth month so wish me a Happy Go Fuck Yourself. Keep on Keeping on.

Wintersnap

Ahoyhoy tank crew, has there ever been a skill or title you acquired just for the fuck of it? For example I became an ordained minister online during a slow shift at party city just because. I have married a couple of friends using these newfound powers

Mokuba

Hey there latinx, latwink and LaRussel. In an episode of the SpikeTV show Pros Vs Joes, 3 average joes with some athletic background were challenged to go 10 minutes in a cage with UFC legend Randy Couture and the winner was the guy who tapped out to Randy’s submissions the least. All the joes commented afterwards about various aches and pains after the challenge. The kicker of it all is Randy is not a submissions expert . Anyway my question is if you could put young Kingston in a cage fight against anyone, who would it be?

Sabin

What’s up beautiful, sexy, and word my PR team is pleading me not to say With the original resident evil trilogy getting ported to steam I decided to pick them up and started with Resident Evil 2. It’s fantastic so far (I just saved as leon in the factory) and now I’m wondering what your guys’ opinion on these games is. Personally going back to this game blew my expectations out of the water and it leaves me with high hopes for when i get to 3. Should be noted that this is with being able to skip the loading animations lol could not imagine that back in the day

Bert Chintus

Hey three fanooks, have yall seen the burnt peanut clone, “the faithful sheriff?” He’s a peanut Vtuber with a sheriff hat and a build in hand. His entire thing is going into games of Fortnite and preaching the gospel to children

skf

Hey y’all just wanted to send my condolences to Chris with the family news that he shared a few weeks ago the fact that he’s pushing through and giving us content through this time is nothing short of amazing all three of you have played a very special role in my life has this year has been challenging for me but you have been there one consistent

KingOfHaphazard

The amount of people in this community impersonating me is growing exponentially. How best do you think the insolent fools should be punished?

Kingdad dating a 2nd, worse Kingdad

Whats up snorkies Question mainly for Derrick and Chris. How do you think the dynamic of the pod will change when Sween finally gets back from being Far Cried? This Sweenbot69 thing was kinda funny at first but i'm REAL intrested seeing how warlord Kingston will play out

The blackest Sarkis

Hello all, What was your specific sexual awakening moment. Can you describe the feelings, the moment And whats your take on it now? For me it was the music video from "love dont cost a thing. By just J.Lo" I was 7 watching much music (canadian mtv) and something clicked in me. I remember just being activated, I just knew I liked it but not why yet. I felt like I needed to hide Now I look back at the video and its a lot less raunchy than I recall. The weirdest part is that I dont even find her that attractive, considering she was my awakening. Ps. I know Sween is gonna give some contrived ass answer.

Slow Learner Reads 100 Words an Hour

What’s up, OREO Triad? Recently been replaying Mirror’s Edge and its sequel/reboot, Catalyst, and it got me thinking about how much I miss parkour-centric games. The only close sibling to Mirror’s Edge is the Dying Light games and their movement systems, but nothing else, really. My question is what’s a genre or “style” of game you deeply yearn for a return to?

Tom Sweiner, Feral Blackman, and Stingray Cum

Hi matan, Mike, and Mike Mike. Just wanted to know if Derrick ever went back to watch Baki. It's misogynistic and Gay so I'm sure you'll have fun. Also, fist of the north star is being remade this year.

Imagine Dragons Official

What up boys, I write this while I am currently in the ER waiting room annoyed beyond belief due to some Geriatric asshole Face Timing her daughter talking loud as fuck. To keep my question on theme what is something people do in public that annoys the shit out of you? P.s. Thank you guys for being the best Pod out there and bringing me constant laughs.

Legendary Anal Fister Johnny Shit Knuckles

What’s up you bodacious booty bandits? What’s something that was infuriating enough in the moment that it made you destroy a video game or other physical object? Back when the game Two Worlds was new, I bought it for PC before I really understood spec requirements. It didn’t work, so I upgraded the ram, and then the GPU which got it to run at like 20fps. A couple years later, I got a new PC with much better specs, installed it and ran it to test the performance then didn’t touch it again for a while. A couple more upgrades later, I go back to play the game only to be met with a screen that tells me the maximum amount of systems had been met and I couldn’t play the fucking game. Come to find out that the CD-key had a max of maybe 5 “systems” that it could be installed on. It counted every new component that I upgraded as an entirely new system. So I threw the disc against the wall so hard it broke in 3 pieces. Thankfully the game is dog ass, so I didn’t actually miss much.

venom? more like- I like Menom

Whats the deal with sween interrupting you guys to speak an opinion he CLEARLY made up on the spot? Was he raised by people who were quite academically successful and accomplished? Did he not meet this expectation engrained into him? Leading to a pathological need to present himself as an intellectual for self validation?

Turning Point US GAY

Hello gents, Splinter Cell is one of the funniest, non-funny game series. Lines like the Jewish fella telling the cop that he just wants to finish his orange juice, or Sam Fisher asking for a raise after robbing 50 Mill in Chaos Theory. What are some other games that you guys think are needlessly funny?

venom? more like- I like Menom

I once told a middle aged chinese fella in a food court to fuck off and die because he was loudly slurping a whopper from BK.

Corinth

Why does Sweeney talk about black excellency when he’s neither excellent nor’ black?

venom? more like- I like Menom

I killed my dragon ball ultimate tenkaichi disc with a hammer when i was 15 I regret nothing, i was absolved of that bullshit and i have known peace

Clark

As a child I would rage at a certain boss I didn’t understand in Mario and Luigi’s Superstar Saga and would CHUCK my gameboy across the room. Many times. It still works to this day tho

Somehow Epstein Returned

Hello Gayents, Not sure if people are aware of this but the Shaq discussion a few weeks ago reminded me of this: Shaq is now a prominent DJ in the dubstep scene. He's been doing it for like 10+ years, plays all the big festivals, even had his own festival. He also jumps into the crowd to mosh and spin like Zangief, it's truly a sight to see. My question is related somewhat, have you guys been any music festivals or any particular genre would you want to go for? I'm a big EDM head so try to make it out to one at least once a year.

Gaydolf Niggler

Good day MONICAS, Recently the Student Union President for the Ontario College of Art & Design went viral for his unfortunate name, Arpit Nigam. And it made me wonder, have you ever encountered someone with an unfortunate sounding name, or someone whose parents clearly didn’t love them when they named them?

Sledgehammered Testicles

What's up Gay, Gay², and Gay³. I work as an Unreal Engine Operator for an LED volume for virtual production, and I also play A LOT of video games, because of my background I have a solid understanding of how a lot game development pipelines are, because of this my favorite things in video games is when developers WASTE an immense amount of time and money on something that doesn't even matter just for fun. for example I'm currently playing Death Stranding 2 and there are whole scenes that are Mo-capped, animated, rendered, and scored, for maybe a 5 second joke. WEEKS of work and thousands of dollars just for a fucking laugh. To the Question: What are some of your favorite moments when game developers put WAY to much effort into something just for fun or for most people to not even see it.

pigeon with a strapon

at minute 2:04:45 of episode 59, Give Superman a Gun, you idiots were asked if you would do anything different if given the opportunity to wake up as your 7 year old selves with all your adult knowledge circa 2021. Sweeny said he'd play the stock market and sports betting and "buy an island, i'd be rubbing shoulders with fuckin' bill gates as a 12 year old." Given recent file releases, would sweeny's answer stay the same? or will you do things the same and get pounced upon by the global elite like a prize winning pig in the middle of a lion exhibit?

Fresh & Chimp

Hello, Chris and the two roots causes of my clinical black fatigue. What's a classic game that you frequently find yourself returning to randomly throughout the year? For me it's Red Dead Redemption 2 and Alien Isolation. Thanks! Stay frosty and stay gay!

SovietPenguins

Sup snark boys, has there ever been a piece of media whether it be a show, movie, song, or book that has a title that was so absurd you had to check it out. For me it was "reborn as a vending machine, now I wander the dungeon" a show about a sentient vending machine who killed a god.

I lick-a da penis

Hey gay father, black son, and holy bitch ghost. Lets say that it's finally discovered that an afterlife exists. Fully real and known that dying leads to going there. It's a generic heaven were the only rule is 'has been a good and not horrible person' to get in. If given that guaranteed information, would you kill yourself?

being eaten by a polite, apologetic polar bear

Ok so kinda long story but I swear it's worth it. I (unfortunately) work at McDoorknobs and the sign out front is broken (no working lights, and the part that holds letters is fucked). So, a customer in the drive thru felt personally attacked by that, called corporate to bitch, and the next day complained directly to my manager in the window. We proceeded to spend hours fantasizing about and discussing ways of killing this guy painfully, and I was wondering if you've ever been in a similar situation? Also Sween is black

Clarkey7163

Hey snark fellers (hard er please) Kind of a philosophy question but do you think the internet has pulled humanity together or seperated us more from each other? I ask because on face value you'd assume connected but as we get more and more segregated by algorithms and interact with bots/AIs I see a worrying trend of people becoming more and more socially isolated We substituted the internet for our real life relationships/friendships and now those connections are even being cut. I truly fear for the world we're entering where a not insignificant proportion of people have an AI as their main source of interaction (like the movie Her) What can stop this? Do we need a giant anti-machine revolution like in Dune or are we just fucked for our lifetimes and it'll be our ancestors that have to pull us out of this. Either way I hate that we had to be born now, cheers

Failed_Abortion

What's up dweebs, With all the talk of how poor your eyesight is, have you all considered laser eye correction? My prescription was almost as bad as Chris', so I was hesitant to do it, but I ended up having a type of laser correction called EBK and I wish I had done it a long time ago. Recovery wasn't that bad at all, and being able to actually see in the shower was crazy. What say you? Thanks and stay gay

Backshot Kyle

Sween have you prepared to be knighted a Mexican after marrying Lily? Like how will you explain to Kingdad and the rest of your family you're no longer a Caribbean?

NeoAllag

Hiya Straight Talk Infantry, Considering the fact America’s release of noxious Agent Orange has caused all of the country’s allies, save for the one killing children by the thousands, to distance themselves from the States, what do you think it would take for the US to regain their trust? Just joking, do you really think anybody would ask you three gay retards any serious questions? Fuck off.

Echo, Slayer of Mics

Hey minorities! I've been racking my head for years on how to tell y'all the permanent damage that was done to my brain chemistry by watching you in highschool (over 10 years ago). But finally figured it out. Every time that I interact with a black person my first two thoughts are "Why are you black?" and literally just Sween saying the hard R. Much love.

My Ass

Whats up you chopped sub-5 proto-chuds Have you guys played or heard of Mewgenics? If not, you should play Mewgenics. Specifically Sweeney, it's like D&D except you send a posse of increasingly fucked up cats to beat the shit out of a man who moves exclusively by bouncing on his own swollen ballsack. Fun for the whole family.

Chris will be glazed by my legion of velvet worms

Everything is already falling apart, so we might as well make it interesting. If you had the power to dictate the apocalypse, what would it look like? Will it be through nuclear war? An alien invasion? Mass kaiju emergence? Or perhaps something stupid like a virus that makes everyone piss themselves to death? Mankind’s final hour is completely in your hands.

randeep kang

HI GUYS When can we get more squel movies or video game movies plots for extra ammo, I miss those. I have watched both breaking bad 2 and independence day probably more then 50 each.

Masonic

At ease soldiers, I have a bit of a conundrum. Couple weeks ago, a black employee was arrested by two white officers after our Associate Manager called the cops, lied to them that he was a former employee, on store grounds even though he was working his shift. Manager even lied about there being no union, which in turn upset the union. All of this because he refused to leave on time even though he was late for work so it wouldn’t count as overtime. He’s apparently been moved to a different location, but nothing has been done to the manager, as the store manager above her left it in police hands but also doesn’t seem to care about everyone else’s safety and security with her STILL working. My question is do you think it’s ok for me to stay and do my job if it wasn’t me arrested, or should I leave because the lack of justice and concern? Also, any instances where justice hasn’t been served to those working at your old jobs?

colon moreyfarty (not to be confused with Moriarty

Hi fellers, Kingston, for awhile i thought you were capping about earl sweatshirt and just how good he is..some rap songs is very good but alot of his other stuff he sounds kinda the same on alot of it…but oh boy this new combo MIKE & Earl album is my easy album of the year so far…idk what surf gang did but the beats they made summoned many different sides of earl we’ve never heard before and his lyrics per usual are so insane and he has some incredible lines on this record. are you gonna check the album out? and Chris and derrick do you have a favorite concert you’ve ever been to and the memory associated with it?

Gobby_Ghoul

Hey Chris, got a question for you specially and NO ONE ELSE I know you’re a big halo fan so what do you think about the show being green lit for another season? Don’t know how you could’ve missed this seeing as how they got Kingston to play Cortana.

Emmet Daly

Well there lads, uestionbfor the lot of you. If you had to sit down and finish your backlog of games, how long do you honestly think it would take? And how would you go about it? Alphabetically or just whatever tickles your fancy. Much love to you three Muskaqueers

im gonna human centipede Sweens mouth to the mic

Hey gorgeous, sexy and beautiful I'm visiting new York for the first time this year. Any recommendations on where to go/what to do? Unlike other write ins who have asked this question, I'm old enough to do shit. Im visiting from the UK (i know, disgusting) and I'm travelling with my girlfriend and my brother. Where do you recommend for a good night on the town? As always, thanks for everything, stay safe, love you all

Jean Grey Watching Franks family getting murdered

Hey Fuck Sticks! Got a funny work story for you! I work in a clinical lab at a hospital where we extract DNA from various bodily fluids and tissues for genetic testing. A couple weeks ago, some absolute troglydyte forgot to throw away the tubes that the DNA is collected in after an extraction and reused them on the next run, causing a shit load of patient samples to be contaminated. Some of these samples weren't caught until after the patients recieved test results with the contaminated DNA, meaning the hospital's legal department had to get invovled in case we got hit with medical mal-practice lawsuits. This whole event inspired the following question. What's a time a seemingly simple mistake you made snow-balled into something catastrophic? Take it easy boys!

Shape of Poo, Ed Smearan

Sup shaft, shaft, and lone testicle. Long time question asker, first time question answered. I have a funeral coming up a few states away in two days here. I'm not boarding a fuckin' plane with the state of airports right now, so I'll tank the gas hit instead. I wanna know, what would it take to get you guys to do the same? What's your lone for airport bullshit tolerance? Love y'all, looking forward to the 14 hours of Extra Ammo backlog lmao

All I wanted was dick, by Parhomore

Hi guys.... Just wanted to remind you about the scheduled recording of episode 400. I put a lot of planning into it and it would be a shame if you missed it and we have to go straight to episode 401. I guess I should ask a question as well? What is you favorite fruit, or something like that?

The Girl Who Loves Deer

Hey guys and other, I have a question for Derrick and Kingston: Chris calls you the hard R during an argument on the podcast, how do you react?

I'm just trying not to get graped

Would you guys still be able to do the podcast if one of your parents started dating one of your co-hosts. I just have this idea of Chris' Mom and Sweeny sitting Chris down and giving him a lecture.

The Cholo Who Punched Derrick

Alright fellas, story time. I sent that video of the horse falling of the bridge to my family group chat. Just a few days later, my Mom went to my aunt's house for a game of cards, and my aunt was concerned that I was having some sort of psychotic break. My Mom assured her that I was fine and that it was only my sense of humor.

Hey mom look im in a offbeat builds video

Hey gang not much of a question but I thought I'd let you know that kingdad is canon in the warhammer universe, as they revealed a new model of inquisitor kroyle and its literally him he even has the iconic hat. Hope you guys see it cause I thought it was funny asf

Snark Tank's most broken transgirl

Hey Snarc raiders, in Extra Ammo: He man and Israel you guys talked about freaks getting their jobs to engage in their fetishes, so I feel compelled to tell you guys about the doctor that is currently being sued for un needed surgeries because he had an amputation kink. Apparently he's done over a dozen amputations that are now in question. PS. This is my last question for a while because I was recently turned into one of the videos Kingston watches before he goes to sleep (I was hit by a car). The only thing I remember from it was being hit, and then lying on the ground with Kingston laughing like a fucking maniac in my headphones

SexHaver69

Hey Butt Ugly Martians, If you could make a fighting game with only right-wing grifters who would you pick and what moves would they have?

googling what is a blumpkin at work

Car crash channel I watch recently hit 400 episodes of their video series "idiots in cars" wonder if the snark tank will ever hit 400

The Humble Cockroach Farmer

Hello Derick “totally not a narcissist pedo” Pilot, Chihuahua quivering with rage, and Afro-Caribbean brick troll. Been subscribed to your channels since 2015, first time I’ve ever supported you at all. With all the people writing in with their weird or impressive jobs, I thought I’d do the same. And as my name implies, I do indeed farm roaches among many other bugs to make ends meet during the long cold winters. As a man who considers himself an expert on insects, it makes me laugh any time animals are brought up at all on the show because you’re all so stupid and I enjoy hearing you flounder and stumble like a retard in the deep end of a swimming pool. So my question is this: if you could make or add a trait to any existing animal, what would it be? The change takes effect over the entire world. For example, I would attach small laser cannons atop the backs of all rats to wreak havoc around the world. Alternatively I was thinking about giving ants the ability to use human tools. That would really throw a wrench in things. Anyway, thanks for the decade of content. Here’s 5 bucks. Let me know if you got any enemies to release a colony of roaches in their homes.

The Humble Cockroach Farmer

By the way, if anyone is wondering, I breed roaches to sell to labs that test pesticides and other products mostly, as well as some biological research institutions. Rest assured they are suffering. Did you know we have several pesticide-resistant roach strains in the north east? They’re quite easy to make!

PapaGzeus

What's good glasses, glasses, and "finally some glasses holy shit"? In this late-stage capitalist hellscape that we're living in, where things are getting more expensive yet worse in quality, what are some brands that are actually good enough that you'd recommend or even accept a sponsorship deal from?

Counting Or Not Counting Kingdad Violence

Sup Oolong Goonicide, Gay Michael Cera, and Magical Rape Victim Vegeta. Couple of things, one, kingston jacking it irl in minecraft needs to be a short. Two, have you guys kept up with the drama surrounding TheQuartering, apparently he got exposed for being a degen towards MelonieMac(woman famous for shouting F slur) even though she was married, then, two weeks later Andy Warski exposed him for being a cuck, and his neighbor, his close friend, who is in his discord, got his reddit account exposed and his neighbor is really into being a bull, now people are bringing up how after he interviewed Gina Carano, he did a livestream where he brought up a weird sexual fantasy about getting cucked by her, after which, Gina Carano blocked him on twitter. Also why dont you guys try to get youtube OGs on the show, Im sure you could get Ray William Johnson on or something, im sure he's poor enough to do it now. Or fuck it idk see if Coondace Owens will come on

Epileptic Crash Bandicoot in a packed nightclub

Hello gang, Recently matt walsh released a video about the “real” history of slavery and in it he claims that white people are the real heroes for ending slavery. This might be one of the most braindead things I’ve ever heard and now I’m curious as to what is the worst opinion you guys have heard. Also please insult matt Walsh for my amusement

There’s an active serial killer in my area help

Good day, Charlie Kirk, black Charlie Kirk, and black Erika Kirk A few episodes ago, Kingston asked what there even is to do after 4200 hours of vrchat. I have some highlights. The EDM scene is pretty big, there’s one world that has a media server and I was able to watch across the spiderverse in HD days after its theatrical release, I’ve made numerous friends that I’ve met in real life and actually plan to move to Seattle with, and there was one guy who claimed he had phantom pain and would react with pain when we shot him so we decided to set him on fire. We haven’t seen him since he’s really mad at us. What ways have online games changed your life?

Masonic

And make the roaches suffer?!

CalmTony

Hello game men! If you woke up and became God tomorrow, what's the first thing you would do, and how would you fix or destroy the world? You have complete and total control over the entire universe and the afterlife. If it happened to me I would make all politicians over the age of 65 simultaneously die of the worst heart attack imaginable

Garlic Ascended

Hello my good BITCHES What's the longest any of you have gone without brushing your teeth?

shooting ropes to hang myself with

Hello Christopher, Derrick, and Thomas. After a recent episode's discussion about sitcom bits, I am once again begging you to watch Children's Hospital. S3E1, which is about the team trying to save a boy sinking in a trough of quicksand, has some of my favorite bits of any sitcom, such as the hospital administrator (played by Henry Winkler) having to call all the doctors in to the hospital because "doctors don't work on weekends". The show also features many illustrious recurring characters, such as Rabbi Jewwy McJewjew. If you don't start next episode saying you've started the show, just know my suicide will be on your hands. Thank you.

Bubble

Hey fellers, I work at a pub and we’ve started serving a new beer there called jiddlers tipple and I can’t see it or serve it without thinking of stupid jitler and stupid black Kingston, that’s all stay gay

shooting ropes to hang myself with

Also, if Chris is still looking for Police squad, it is available on Internet archive. If you can't get it there, I have a dvd with all episodes on it and I can send you a rip.

BigUglyJordan

Hello snick, snoid, and snot. Do you guys still plan on doing the movie commentary tracks? That’s something you brought up ages ago and seems like it really had some legs, but we haven’t really heard anything about that. You guys might want to see about hiring an assistant to organize some of this stuff for y’all if you don’t mind my saying so. Y’all have also mentioned a brand manager, but I know thats a lot more difficult.

BigUglyJordan

Heart attack so catastrophic it kills anyone in a 6 foot radius. Something Ive oft thought about these days

Jon johnson

Well you three miscreants my question as a newly requested Canadian would be thus do beans belong in chili?

PapaGzeus

To add to your list of viewers with "serious" jobs; I work as a developer for a AAA gaming company (won't say what or for whom for ass-covering reasons), and I recently discovered a genuine bug by running the right code on the wrong game, but only realized I did this after investigating the bug. Do any of you have times where you or someone you knew accidentally turned out to be right?

Swavant

Speaking of PS3s (a while back chris mentioned how hard backwards compatibility was for ps3 games due to how it uniquely utilized the hardware), did yall know the us air force made a supercomputer cluster out of PS3s. This is an AI overview so take it with a grain of sand and look into it further if youre curious (im pretty sure i read an article where they decommissioned it in the last half decade or so or they plan to, but they had it for A While): "In 2010, the U.S. Air Force Research Laboratory (AFRL) built the "Condor Cluster," a supercomputer made from 1,760 PlayStation 3 consoles, designed for high-performance, cost-effective computing. Chosen for their powerful Cell Broadband Engine, Linux compatibility, and low cost, these 1,760 PS3s created the 33rd-35th fastest supercomputer at the time, delivering 500 TFLOPS of power for just $2 million." I posted this question back in feb, but i don't remember the episode ps3's were mentioned in. Stay snarnky.

Swavant

"running the right code on the wrong game, but only after investigating the bug."? I take it theres additional context missing where your friend does bug bounties as a side hustle and passed you a bug?

Swavant

AoE heart attack is crazy

Swavant

Ronald Reagan would be a perfect villian/enemy in a game like Toontown, a game about fighting suits from as low on the totem pole as telemarketers, cold callers, flunkies, pencil pushers, penny pinchers, short changers, bottomfeeders, bloodsuckers, and doubletalkers to the head honchos like The Big Cheese, Bigwig, Robber Baron, and Mr. Hollywood. Fun fact: this game was owned and ran by disney until they shut it down in 2013. It started as a booth/area at disney world(?) where they did either a Disney 411 or Disney 365 on it to show off how you can throw Whole Cream Pies at robots in suits that represent Big Business. The beta was available during this during 2000-2003 and after that they released the full game which ran from 2003/2004 to 2013, originally not meaning to keep it for longer than they had that booth thing for it out at the park. After it shutdown, multiple amazing groups in the community relaunched and hosted the game, keeping the most recent updates before it shutdown and also adding new things/features to it (the original code for the game is on Github so you can host your own local server even). Obviously, they can't ever monetize or put ads on it because Disney Will Come For That Ass, so theres no "memberships" or monthly payments. There's Toontown Rewritten (closer to the original as far as i remember), Corporate Clash (which innovates more on the features from what I've seen clips of), and others. Theres more lore before it shut down I could tell but this is interesting enough. Godspeed boyos (p.s. my favorite new nickname for Chris is "The Pondering Retard" after that episode where Sween called him that) I left this comment in the Jan 2026 question thread on 1/24 when one of the episodes mentioned Ronald Reagan or something. I don't fully remember the context and I refuse to reread all that I wrote here lmao. Cheers.

Swavant

I was watching a compilation of clips from TheRussianBadger from 2-3yrs ago and the group of friends mentioned ai videos popping up of "master chief teaches you how to change the oil on your 2006 nissan morano", etc. They made a bit out of it where master chief was teaching you how to do the dishes. Whats the best/your favorite use of early ai (i.e., a couple years or more before what we have altogether now). Mine was the ai called 19.x or something that was a really good voice ai for all of the team fortress 2 playable characters, making sfm/gmod animations that much funnier with custom dialogue. i still loved the sentence mixing/ytp-like sentence moshing as more of a real artform, of course, but the ai voice was odd yet sharp enough to be absurd in its own way.

Benjamin Button Yahu

Hey Big, Bitch, Chris (BBC) How you liking the gas prices? P.S In some episode far back derrick was wondering what the opposite of Futa is, it's Cuntboy

Michael Rojas

Hey there fellas just a quick one, has there ever been a time where you were wrong about something(can be anything) and it genuinely made you feel awful? And were there any repercussions?

Rushanish

Hello Mo, Curly, and Faggot As a Bisexual man i decided early on not to come out to my family unless i got into a serious relationship with another queer person. Well my current relationship with my boyfriend has gotten to that point and we figure its best to rip the band-aid off sooner rather than later. To be honest I don't really give a shit about how most of my family would react except for my mom. My mom seems to not have a problem with queer people, HOWEVER. My dad was a real piece of shit spineless cunt and he killed himself after he was caught cheating on her with multiple men and women. So how would you three tell your parents in my situation?

Fabulous Bill

Guten Tag Snarkenpanzer, What would you feculent fellers do if you woke up to find that you are the last man on earth.

senior spicyweiner

Hey black, white, and cum all over, if you can bring back any show to reboot what would you choose ?

Gaige

Yall see that warehouse fire in Ontario California? Toilet paper factory. "You should paid us enough to fucking live". The guy that did it posted a video. Apparently, the warehouse's Avg wage was 22.12$/hour. (Which is 15% below National Average, says google) What'cha reckon? King or Cun+ ?

Rest in Peace Jennifer Lawrence

Hello Topher Laser Rifle, The Rick African Sir, and Emperor City James and Son. I recently witnessed a man pour a soda on a homeless man, who before even looking yelled out "Fuck off Peter", rolled around in his sleeping bag and failed to get up. Meanwhile the man is cackling running into his car and speeds away, jumping a street divider. Have any of you felt like a background character in a sitcom/skit show?

Huge RIP to RJ Mitte (Walt Jr actor)

Scrolling through this month's patreon questions, I was reminded of the Snark Tank classic "horse falls off bridge into water below" and would like to introduce you lovely homosexuals to a similar video, "Flamingo flies into bridge" Have a great day :)

I lick-a da penis

They gave RFK Jr. a podcast. When's the collab happening?

Duckmun

Hey boys. I recently had a dream where a bunch of cryptids and I beat the brakes off of the Jersey Devil and robbed his little Jevil hut because he was a big jerk. If you guys were going to jump and rob a cryptid, which are you jumping and which are you bringing along to help?

GOTY guy: Beat Zelda BotW, Next Up: Hades!

Wanted to clarify something after being called out during the name read. For Oblivion specifically, I sort of “cheated” because I had already played a vast majority of it last year. So I simply picked up where I left off and had much less to go than I thought I did. For Bethesda games specifically I’m trying to play them as naturally as possible. For example I played Fallout 3 for 22 hours after accidentally stumbling across a point of no return but I was also satisfied with my experience. I played Oblivion very thoroughly last year and just went back into it looking to finish up any quest lines that interested me. Also I’m playing Diablo 2 resurrected, because the Internet suggested it was faithful and it’s on game pass. Also as an extra note it’s one of the most boring and tedious games I’ve ever played. I liked it at first but it very quickly became so ungodly boring and repetitive and I cant wait for it to be over. I’m happy to answer any other questions/clarifications regarding this process! I appreciate the modicum of interest being shown!

Sledgehammered Testicles

That makes WAY more sense with oblivion and you are correct, Diablo 2 is shit from a butt, along with every other diablo. fantastic stories with horrid drooling baby ass gameplay.

Sweeny’s Todd

Hey maggots with an F, What’s a video you’ve seen that’s so intensely racists it loops around into being comedy? I happen to come across a video on Reddit where a white woman was yelling REPEATEDLY about wanting “That (HARD-R) seed” and while fisting herself in such an intense in rapid manner that I started laughing about how insane it was. Kind of blows my mind people get off to that. Thanks

Every time Chris says yeah, no Obama drone strikes a wedding

Recently I wrote in and Chris was flabbergasted that I own a home and have a child. Well in addition to being a degenerate who loves your podcast, I have a great job working maintenance at my local water district in Southern California, own a home, have been married for a decade, have two beautiful children. However I think the thing you're going to find most bizarre is the fact that I coach my son's Little league baseball team, I have coached my sons team to the best record in their division every year since he has started playing. I have many parents email the league and request their kids to be on my team because for some reason I'm very good at coaching baseball despite not being very good player myself when I was young. I am a positive role model to the children in my community and love being a dad and a coach despite the fact that I listen to this show. Love the show, Cheers! PS. Chris, recently you stated that you want an Xbox 360 to play old games. My 360 elite has been collecting dust in a closet for over 15 years. I'm more than happy to give it to you.

PapaGzeus

Had to rewrite it since I wrote this when I was high af. Also, no, not even close

Pissed uncle pants

Hey duck, duck, and goose! For my political science class we were instructed to pair up and plan an assassination. My buddy Jake and I decided that we would grift to the right for a few years and eventually host a “grand round table” podcast event where we discuss various topics with the “greatest minds” of the American right. Halfway through the recording, my cohost and I would excuse ourselves to the bathroom and promptly detonate the several pounds of C4 strapped to the bottom of the table. Who would you three assassinate and how?

The Girl Who Loves Deer

Hey, fenocchios (google what that means in slang), i’m a pale skinned Italian gay, and i’ve been told more than once that it’s “performative” for my favourite genre to be hiphop and my favourite artist to be andre 3000 what’s the weirdest racial comment you’ve recieved?

Withered Sweeney

Como estas my Latinx amigxs!!! Have you guys heard that Tom Macdonald Charlie Kirk remix on socials recently? The lyrics are so bunz but I can’t stop singing it. Anyways, what’s the worst thing you’ve ever listened to/watched/played but couldn’t stop interacting with? Much love, Chief Kickabitch.

Jello

Have a question for Sweeney Are orcs in d&d an allegory for black folks?

calling in artillery fire on hoes whomst reject me

When are you going to address the allegations that Sweeney revealed he buttfucked several squirrels against their better judgment all along Central Park, leading to the abrupt end to the advice column EA?

RIP Racist Walt Junior, struck down by Israel

Hello Snarkists, Have you ever been the victim of or witness a level of racism that was truly so absurd that it made you laugh rather than be offended? For example as a Jew (not a Ben Shapiro Yalmuke type but just a dude with a big nose) in high school I was once called a “bagel face shekel hunter” and I literally started laughing hysterically, imagining a humanoid bagel digging for buried treasure. Thanks for all the laughs!

Jello

Did y'all see Trump literally post a Sweeney live leak type video ? Holy shit

Triple Threat Last Man Standing Match Feat. The Benoit Family

Re: ur last podcast. U need Ur panties ripped off and 3 BIG BLACK DICKS in ALL 3 holes at the same time!!! Way up ur pussey and Way up Ur ass as far as they will go but even farther. And the thickest cock goes down Ur throat so it makes U gag and convulse as those big black cocks pound away it feels like from the start Ur being assaulted but it's made U cum nonstop. Just one continuous constant orgasm and just before U pass out those big black dicks squirt their loads of cum inside U! As U lay on ur stomach the cum is coming out of all Ur holes, i'll turn U over and jack off all over U

Wolfen's Art

Hey my sexy sexy boys. I have never actually played any of the Resident Evil Games, except for maybe part of the demo for RE4 at a Media Play in Toledo Ohio back in 2005. I figure with a good chunk of the games remade now for modern hardware it’s a great time to get into the series so where do you gents recommend I start? Unrelated question: if you could be any animal what would you be and why?

googling what is a blumpkin at work

Hey guys, inspired by the grateful Dead conversation on the last show I actually know a guy who has a grateful Dead tattoo and had no idea that it was a band and just liked the logo, now I'm a metalhead and have seen my fair share of people who have shirts and don't like the band but this felt like a whole nother level. Have you ever seen someone rock something so confidently despite not fully knowing or understanding it's origins? I would personally never get a shirt or especially a tattoo without at least checking to see if what I'm getting is A) interesting to me beyond appearance or B) offensive in some way. Party on gayboys.

ShmuelCohen

Hello Chris Ray Gun, Derrick Black-Man, and sween Have y’all seen the first look of the upcoming animated film from Brad Bird called RAY GUNN following private eye RAYMUND GUNN in a 30s retrofuture style metropolis? Interesting names attached all around, just thought i’d share

Flash Gunderson Balthazar III

Hi bitches afab agender listener, been watching you hoes since the beginning. I am a first-time patron. Not a question, but wanted to add to the conversation about professionals that listen to ya'll. I work in politics at the state level. Specifically, I do a lot of stuff with regulatory policy. This show quite literally keeps my soul from dying. Keep it up, boys!

We Fuck on Front Porches and Gay Life Away

Hey snorky boys and the creature who thinks he deserves to be happy (yall can decide who that is yourselves). Some months ago I got into a political deal with my dad and stepmom. My stepmom walked away saying something about God bless ICE and Trump. Without thinking I said “Trump is a pedophile”. She whipped back around asking what I said so I said it again. The third time I said it she was damn near in my face and I couldn’t help but smile the biggest smile as I called him a pedo again. At that point I was just excited to ragebait her. Anyway my question is have you ever had a political argument with family or friends where you can’t help but start saying things you KNOW will get them heated. Thanks for the laughs and the creature I referred to at the start is Chris. Hope you didn’t assume it was Sween.

Joker, but with some motion

Simple question, what are title tracks that either don’t match the vibe of the album or non title tracks that would’ve been better choices

Preston Webb

Hello fellow air sucking botymons so I have a little story. Every now and then I'll go through YouTube and see a channel of a different person fighting cancer and 9 times outa 10 then don't make it and fairly recently a channel called the game chasers one of the host got cancer and died so I'm starting to think I'm like a bad omen they don't know about

PleoTCA

How's it going? My friend recently found out about the Gorillaz and had told me that he wasn't aware that the group had been around for some time. Has there ever been something that's been around for a long while that you recently gotten into? Thanks

Chris be like-Make videos or gay sex hmmmmm

Hey there Piss, Derrick, and Jamal from Legends of Chamberlain Heights. This question is ONLY for Derrick and Chris, Sween cover your ears. Why haven't you guys told Sween his girlfriend is a Falmer in disguise yet? You've joked about it before when he wasn't here but never said why you haven't revealed it yet

honestly names are cringe anyway

Just bouncing off of the console chat in 399^69, I think a big part that doesn't get talked about is how dev cycles getting longer mean that not only are you paying more for those consoles, you're also getting fewer major releases for that console. For example with xbox, the original and 360 (first two generations) had Halo 1, 2, 3, 4, ODST, Reach and Wars. Meanwhile the one and x/s (last 2 generations) had 5, Infinite, Wars 2 and spartan assault. I use halo because its what I know but the same is true for Bethesda games, Rockstar games and pretty much any AAA company that has been putting out titles since 2000

Realizing Dr. Herbert West is a twink

Howdy boys, it's me again. I figured I'd give y'all a little more detail on what happened. So while my roommate and I are at work (we work at the same place), some scurrilous, loveless individual took broke our window and crawled inside our house. They absconded with my Series X, Series S, Steam Deck, my roommate's PS5 AND TELEVISION, as well as all the associated wireless controllers. It was absolutely devastating, as you can probably surmise. But I have begun the slow process of recovery in buying a replacement Series X. Considering Steam Decks are sold out on Steam, maybe I'll wait and get a Steam Machine...

Shakezulla tha mic rulah

Hey snarkos, ECH! Fun fact, Hayden Christiansen (prequels Annakin) starred in an episode of Goosebumps back in the day: Night of the Living Dummy III. Thought that might be interesting. (Please pick this one, I have a feeling it will really annoy Kingston)

Are Sweeney and Derrick allergic to working out?

What’s the worst thing a friend has told you about their parents. An old high school buddy of mine recently told me that shortly after graduating he tried to get with this cute girl we knew . Only for his dad to be the one that fucked her while she was over at his house . His dad later bought him a PS5 to make up for it but my friend didn’t care the damage was done . Have a good one guys

The Girl Who Loves Deer

hey! gays! the last time i had a question read, Chris made a comment in relation to my name. Deer are the best animal, I have an immense love for them and there is not one room in my home that isn’t decorated in fake deer fur, deer plushies, deer statues, deer models, deer LEGO sets, pictures of deer, etc. Anyway, what is your guys’s favourite animal and why are you so retarded for it not being deer?

AHUGECATACLYSM

I saw the thumbnail for Too Short’s “blow the whistle” on youtube and thought Derrick did a gay cover. Can Derrick explain why he kinda looks like Too Short in that video?

SomeVodkaBottle

Wagwan crodem, is there any newer artists that you have been listening to and have been enjoying recently? By that I mean someone who only started releasing in like 2020. For me it would be smokedope2016. A lot of his tracks are almost ethereal.

randeep kang

Do you guys know that elden ring on switch will be 80usd on switch 2, that about 115 dollar in Canada where im from. And you can't buy the base game by it's self, shadows of the erdtree will always be with it,increasing the price.

Krisfireball

Ayo snarky boys, recently they released shared universe comics of Gi Joe, and Transformers by Robert Kirkman (the creator of the walking dead comics). Sweeney, have you read these? And what shared universe series would you boys make that would actually be decent?

Benjamin Button Yahu

I'm a big fan of the #RapeTheSnarkTankHostsToDeath event that's happening in 2 days. what's an event you're excited for

Corinth

Hey Thing #1, Thing #2, Chris and Derrick! Is there any bad characters from bad movies, shows or games that you think have the potential to actually be pretty good if given to someone who knows what they’re doing? I think Wesker’s son Jake from Resident Evil 6 could be a cool protagonist for a new game especially if they explored his relationship with Sherry.

sandwich

Hey guys no question today just a short story, I was listening to the podcast on the way home from work and decided to stop by Whataburger on the way, and obviously I paused the podcast before I got to the window, however something malfunctioned and the podcast blared loudly out the window when I was handing the lady my card and I will nevrr forget the fave if pure disgust she showed when she heard the Piss Baby conversation and Kingston say "I will piss all over her with stale piss". Needless to say it was very rude of her to look at me like that and I will not be going back

Failed_Abortion

Hey there cockbois, My son and I are working our way through all the Spider-Man movies. We’re about to watch SpiderMan 2, but then I realized when we watch Spiderman 3, his first exposure to an on-screen Venom is going to be Eric Fucking Foreman. What is the best on-screen portrayal of Venom in your opinion? Thanks for the gay

Watch the Big Lez show y fakin kants

Guys look up Palm Beach Pete if you haven’t already. (I’m behind on the episode 390 so i don’t know if you talked about him already.

TheBrenWord

Long time patron and 2nd time writing in because I’m too retarded to think of questions. As another German listening to this show (seems like there is a concerning number of us), I want to confirm that „Anti-Baby-Pille“ is indeed the term for contraception, specifically the pill. „Verhütung“ is contraception or directly translates as protection. „geburtskontrolle“ is just birth control. We have a lot of extremely literal words in German. Favorites skunk, which in German is simply referred to as „stink-animal“, a light bulb is a „glowing pear“, and because you were talking about it on the last episode a turtle/tortoise is a „shield-toad“. No question today just hope this provides some laughs for you and my fellow listeners ! Oh and (as it came up) Rammstein is rightfully canceled over here as the frontman routinely drugged and raped groupies fyi

Yasiin Clemens on Spotify and Apple Music

In Episode 401 that poor soul wrote in about his life being torn apart due to the discovery of his Jilk blanket Im an absolute chad who loves to play RuneScape and I thought you’d like to know there’s a quest that recently came into the game about helping some random dude enter the milk market in town Long story short instead of real milk they were jerking off a bull and you were forced to drink it. Yes this is real and canon

Gobby_Ghoul

I know you guys are obsessed with the piss room but do you know of the piss nuke? I can’t be bothered to look up if it’s the same guy but there’s this guy on Instagram who fills up gallon jugs with piss and hurls them on the floor after shouting “PISS NUKE INCOMING”. He’s made sequels such as Pissnog and piss missiles. I haven’t looked into his stuff beyond this as it makes me sad. Hope you all have a urinlishious day.

Exploded Micah

Hello Rogue, Bard, and Barbarian, Long-time freeloader turned patron presenting my first submission! question: what’s the dumbest thing to be caught dead listening to or watching? I ask because on a road trip one summer, I put on the pod and an hour into the drive ended flying into the ditch at around 110km (68 miles)and rolled my car five or six times. I don’t remember the exact episode I was listening too, but I do remember that as I was flying through the air, Derrick was explaining the best ways to hide boners in school. Thank you guys for helping make the work day go smoother while I dig trenches or do other bullshit plumber grunt work

JD Vance really got that “Oopsie Daisy” charisma

Sup gang. What would you consider the lowest form of comedy that always gets a laugh out of you? I’m sure you guys heard of ear-rape, but I want to bring some attention to the opposite of that. On YouTube, search “shrimp on sale at this hour” and go to 0:10. Thank me later.

Peter Pasta the Amazing Spaghettiman

Hey fellers, What's a good 5 year anniversary present? I'm still interested in funny answers even though my partner left me…

Benjamin Button Yahu

Hello Big. Black and Chris. (BBC), how's the fuel crisis treading you in America? Ps. Please molest Kingston for most definitely saying something stupid earlier

RIP Racist Walt Junior, struck down by Israel

Yooo Snarkists! Not really a question but yes I am the “Mecha Bin Laden’s Sword is just a really big plane” name from Episode 400, and yes, I was in fact losing my shit because you guys missed an absolute easy home run of a joke. Side note, I am in the Marines, and not all of us like Trump. I’m aboard ship right now and recently in line at dinner Fox News was on showing the Trump as AI Jesus photo, and the dude behind me saw it, sighed, and said “Man we are lead by the dumbest Niggas alive”. Stay Gay and thanks for the laughs.

the podcast is too long i always cum in the first 45 minutes

Hello Head, Shaft, and Balls. What's something you tried just because you were so sick of everyone around you talking about it. I started getting into Resident Evil recently because I was sick of you guys discussing it on the podcast constantly, and me not understanding what the fuck you're talking about. I've played 2 and 3 Remake so far and loved them. I'm looking forward to 4 Remake, 7, 8, and 9.

Kwis Way Gun, Dewwick Bwackman, Tom Sweewy

Hewwo Kwis Way Gun, Dewwick Bwackman, & Tom Sweewy. I've been going back through the Batman Arkham series & really love it. My question for you guys is which villain would you be a henchman for & why?

ShmuelCohen

hey all, this one’s mostly for sween since he’s a fan of freddie gibbs, he’d love to check this out did you know during the time he and jpegmafia were beefing, jpeg decided to post freddie’s ENTIRE asshole on twitter. just had to share

Cruelty-free Pleatherface with electric chainsaw

Please rank the following, from least gay to most gay: • Sucking a man’s dick • A man sucking your dick • Fucking a man’s butt • A man fucking your butt • Jorking a man off • A man jorking you off Thanks.

Transfem JJJ

hey boys i hope you are doing well and was wondering if you knew Sneako got his shit rocked on stream so, with that now happening and firebombing warehouses being all the rage, what other things need a good old fashioned to get the point across of how much they messed up? have a good day gays

Fent-Fold Bilbo Baggins

Ahoy, snarky lads! May be a silly question, but have you ever coincidentally started a game or show that thematically lined up with current events in your life? For example, I've been dealing with a lot of stress about time and its unstoppable flow. Without really thinking about it, I happened to start Majora's Mask around the same time these worries were coming in. If you read this, thank you for the years of laughs. You're my favorite trio of gay black men

Goonageddon

Not a question, but PLEASE show Sween the picture of that IDF soldier from L’Espresso magazine. Israel said the picture was AI generated antisemitism. The jokes write themselves.

Fabulous Bill

Have you guys seen Lord Jamar trying to convince people he’s smart by arguing for Flat Earth theory? He doesn’t understand how gravity works and thinks that it’s impossible for the planet to rotate and not have all the world’s water fly out into space. Gotta love the confident stupidity

shooting ropes to hang myself with

Hey Chrissy poo, Derrick, and Kingston "no seriously slavery isn't as bad when brown people do it" Jameson, when was the last time you were talking to someone and they lied to your face so blatantly it shocked you? I had a female employee whom I was talking to about podcasts and I mentioned this one, as it is the main one I listen to. She immediately said "oh I know that one they're great!". I immediately sensed bullshit. Not only does this WOMAN claim to listen to your show, she went so far as to call it great. Yeah, right.

randeep kang

Hey Guys, did you hear about Jeremy the quatering,mundane matting the kino casino out of youtube. He even made the similar excuse of looking for cabins in the woods instead of boulders.

SpaghettiKills8

Guys, if you love turtles/tortoises, look up the leather back seat turtle. They're fucking huge and they're damn near the closest thing to a dinosaur I've ever seen. Was so crazy I thought it was fake but they're fucking real!

Oba

Hey boyos. haven’t listened to the recent episode (402), but I’m guessing it was recorded before news came out that RFK pulled the cock off a raccoon. He did this all while thinking “man some people in my family are really weird.”

Kaleb

HEY on episode whatever, sweenie said he wished they would remaster the Battle Network DS games. If he meant Starforce on DS, they actually did remaster those earlier this year. If he meant the Battle Network games on GBA they remastered those a few years ago and he is retarded thank you.

Jelqing but for Girth

Why does Sweeney look like a period (punctuation) with his new cut.

GivingLilyAGallonOfPissToLeaveKingston

Hello fellas! I want to share a story with you of the first time I met a black man and my accidental racism. A note for this interaction: I was 11. So, this man was friends with my family and he was invited over to my grandparents place for the first time, which is where I lived. My cousin, and uncle were going to take him up to shoot guns in the woods (perfectly normal thing around where I live), so while they were grabbing their guns and ammo from the safe he introduced himself to me. Now, I was raised to always be gracious and offer something to eat and drink to guests, unfortunately for the both of us my family had fried chicken and watermelon the night before. I offered him leftovers from the night before and a soda if he would like one, the soda so happened to be grape (the only kind we had). He said no thanks, laughed harder than I had ever seen someone laugh and told me that was a good one. I was very confused and asked him what he meant, and that is how I learned about the racial stereotype.

She Gag on my Lolly while I Dilly her dally

Hey boywife, boyfail, and boynecologist. Really just wanted to bitch about invincible and stir you guys go discuss it. Spoilers for the newest season I guess Viltrum is full of knuckle dragging morons who had every atom in their brain convert to a % gain in overall strength. Any time these people seem to face a traitor they end up killing way more people to ‘purge a weakness’ from their society than even a group of rebels fighting together would likely accomplish. Idk who gives a fuck anyway I guess I just want more DanDaDan

Ringo

Hello Snark men. This question is mostly for Derrick/Sween but I was wondering, if any of you have seen the Steel Ball Run Pilot yet. If you have I'd like to know your thoughts, especially on how Netflix has been treating the series. All the best.

Going to hell & realising it’s just New Jersey

Sup bear, otter, & twink. I’m sure he’s been informed by now, but ~~Uncle~~ Tom Sweeny’s last rant about “channel slavery” as he repeatedly & incorrectly called what the literate refer to as chattel slavery with T’s instead of N’s got me thinking. So question for Kingston as both my muse for this question & The Snark Tank’s resident tabletop weenie; if “Channel Slavery” was introduced as a feat in DnD like Channel Divinity but for those with a background as a slave, how would you have the mechanics of that function?

Dirkkane

Afternoon boys, this question is primarily for Derrick. In an old episode a while back you said that you felt your generation became very nihilistic and accepted that the world was fucked but the current younger generation (Gen Z and maybe Gen Alpha as well) have a lot of fight in them and are more vocal and willing to invoke change. Given some time has passed and seeing how fucked things truly have gotten, do you still think that’s true?

Pulling Testosterone out like Magneto

Hello All Gays No Straights! What kind of villains do you prefer in your media? Whether that'd be redeemable villains that are complex like how Sweeny thinks he is, pure evil that relish in the chaos like how Sween actually is, or something more abstract?

Antifus Maximus

What's up bitches. What's the dumbest thing you entertained when you were younger that you later realized very clearly obviously false? I was in grade school when Osama Bin Laden died in 2011, and the kid sitting next to me on the school bus said that he was executed by Obama himself, wielding an M1 Garand, shooting the top of his head off. Praying for the end of this nightmare society ✌️

No Penis No Cry

SWEEN, have you considered being on a DND-actual-play podcast? I feel like you'd crush it.

DanTheManWithThePants

Hey fellas, not a question exactly but I thought I'd let you know this. I teach English to Japanese students. Whenever they ask for the best podcast for practicing listening to "real English," I always recommend your podcast. I tell them it's how real English speakers talk all the time, and they should emulate your speaking style if they want to make friends. Do you have a message for these poor people?

Gagston and Le Fruit

For Derrick, I know you hate Lars Ulrich on the drums, so I’m curious of your opinion of Kirk Hammett on the guitar. Thanks for the many laughs and erections over the years boys keep it up!

Hayasakite

Hello Christopher Gaylumbus and the Silly Sub-Saharans! First-time asker, long-time lurker, finally decided pay you so I can ask you something. What are your most recent life hacks that you’ve discovered? Mine is: if you go to a food place with a visible GoPro and order a ton of food, then casually mention you’re gonna give it to the homeless, they’ll usually go talk to their manager and come back with even more food—and it’s free... Stay gay boys

Current sween looks like he ate “i hate the gays” sween

Hello, so I just finished Basic combat training for the army.For the past 10 weeks I have been pretty disconnected from the world. So in your own way can you catch me up to speed with random news and the state of the world from February 4th forward. Thank you love you gays!

splish splash I was gaping his ass

Yo fuckos In 499^4 you guys talked about terrorist wrestlers. No question but I wanted to tell you that Muhammad Hassan, the wwe wrestler was my high school principal. He's actually just a chill Italian dude named marc he never actually flew those planes

Filthy Nwah

Hi, Piss, the N-word, and A Little Bit of Give. In episode 402, someone wrote in and mentioned how you annoyed them into playing Resident Evil by how much you schmucks were yapping about RE9. It reminds me about how on Apple Podcasts (I listen to this at work, so I cant have youtube open) there are ads every 10 to 15 minutes y'all get interrupted midsentence by the same advertisement where some dude is shilling an online casino and he also knows where I live. It got so annoying that now I had to subscribe to y'all on patreon to get no ads to make the podcast listenable. So thanks for that, I guess. What's a time where you had to be suckered into paying for something? Love y'all, keep it gay.

Pee Pee Poo Poo Pid Shid Pidded Shidded Cummed!

[Trigger Warning: HALO & Drugs] Hello fellers. Let me regale you of an activity myself and two friends got up to recently. We decided that we would take turns driving the Halo 3 warthog run, but you had to pass the remote everytime you died. The twist -> the current driver had to be huffing nitrous oxide while driving. No driving sober for us boyos. We realised 20 minutes in we also had to have the remote manually wrested from us and moved onto the next driver once the N2O caused the current driver to begin to see goblins and mentally confront our past mistakes, as goblins and forced introspection are not your friends when you are escaping imminent s’plosions and Covenant fire. It took the better part of 2 hours before we got it completed, with our minds fiercly fucko’d by the end of it. But we did it. I hope you are proud of us.

I lick-a da penis

Hey, great to be on AMC's The Walking Dick. This is more of a fact: In the Walking Dead show Ezekiel's actor is the voice actor for Cyborg from the 2003 Teen Titans cartoon. This is really funny for people like me who watch Walking Dead after Teen Titans and hearing Cyborg say fuck and threaten to kill people.

sounding myself with a JBL speaker🐶

Hey black blacker and person passing recently y’all (mostly Chris) talked about loving the process of things, and it got me thinking is anything that was SO shit that it expanded your understanding and appreciation of other things? For an example of what I mean I liked halo growing up but it took playing 10 minutes of halo 5 to really appreciate the level design and artistry in previous halo games in a way that I was completely blind to more or less.

Joker, but with some motion

Hey y’all, just got back into the dating game after taking about a year off. My question is how long can someone claim they are “talking” and not BF/GF before it is leading them on and/or wasting the other’s time

Chris Gay Gun: “Pull My Pants, Gay Mans Dance”

I just want to bring attention to the timeline of Sweens Twitter posts. It’s him preparing to propose. A clip of Jensen Ackles saying the Hard R And then a picture of Lily saying yes.

ThickJuicyBurger

Howdy Hoes! Sam Raimi is coming to a convention in New Orleans in July, what should I ask him? I'll report back his answer.

Incepted

damn derrick I didn’t know you died march 31st 2026 in a gun violence related death at the age of 45 (look up derrick antonio blackman)

Master of Miasma, Dummy

Hello, gayest shades of brown. What food items do you think have a 10/10 presentation but a mid payoff? For me, every time I see doughnuts at the store or a stand they seem so fucking good, but the taste disappoints me greatly most of the time. Thanks for keeping me entertained as I desperately plot my move from my small Swedish town, where the local job market seems dedicated almost entirely to elder care and keeping evil jötunn at bay.

There’s an active serial killer in my area help

Hello used napkin, penny, and chip. It’s me! The guy who saw a patient explode in the OR. I wanted to bless you with a fresh new OR story. See, in the city I live in, a gentleman decided it’d be an excellent idea to take a walk without pants on. He then wanted to take a seat, so he sat down on a fire hydrant. The problem arose when he couldn’t lift himself off the fire hydrant because it was stuck up his asshole. The fire department had to shut off water to that part of the city and remove the fire hydrant from the ground and take him to the OR where we had to surgically remove it. Have a blessed day.

Backshot Kyle

Sup guys, have you heard what's going on Twitter with Japanese men and the black community? If you don't know, Japanese men have some strange imagination of being dominated by black men when they pass by one. Also there was one guy went into great detail about how they image black person would pin them down and there's nothing they can do about because of how big black people are in their eyes and it scares him because there's more black people migrating to Japan.

PapaGzeus

Usually my questions for yall are inspired by things I hear in episodes or encounter in my day-to-day life, but I'm curious if any of you have any funny or interesting stories you've never gotten to bring up on the podcast because they had never been relevant?

splish splash I was gaping his ass

Hey cummers I recently got into music recording and mixing, would you mind if someone recorded the gay parodies you wrote in extra ammos but never got around to recording yourselves like "how to fuck a guy" by "the gay"? Cheers fellow homiesexuals

Fdr (fat dick rogers)

Heya boys. Had an extra ammo idea for you to steal. Snark tank true crime. Do whatever you want with it. I originally thought it would be funny for you guys to make true crime stories about each other but I also like the idea of the wide cast of misfits yall created and how they became serial killers and tax evaders. Or don’t who gives a shit? Love you sweaty stinky salty boys from the bottom of my esophagus

Gay

What’s up you bunch of queerbos, got a question for y’all. What’s a character you admired or liked as a kid only to see them older as you became an adult and go full monkey mode. I, like everyone else thought Toph was cool as shit, but after seeing her grown up and built like a brick shithouse in that new movie, I need her to choke me out with those guns while making me admit she’s the greatest earth bender in the world like the little bitch I am. Also please kill Derrick

NurseBob

I'm genuinely so happy when I worked in the ER I never experienced caring for someone who had something stuck in their ass.

NurseBob

What is in the water in your area?! People are insane lol!

Funkadelik Pk

Hello to my favorite baking podcast, The Starch Tank starring Crisp Bread Crumbs, Sweet Berry Galette and the mentally defficient baker Tart stroodles. This is my first time writing :) BIG FAN. But I've heard you guys talking about Kamen Rider earlier and before Sweeny says anything plz tell him to shut his mouth cus he doesn't know jack-shit about this franchise. Ik you guys are decrepit boomers who don't like anything foreign unless you grew up with it or can fuck it but if you like superhero stuff I belive that there is a Kamen rider series for you. Especially since you guys like spider-man. That being said I would like an extra ammo where you react to each of the main characters transformations and finishers as well as the opening sequences/songs . Cus is Chris and Derrick like rock and in my objective opinion 99% of the openings are heat. Regardless I think that it would be funny to see you guys riff on the out of context shit you see. In my reply I'll give yall a little guide. Thanks for the laughs (exept for Sweeny's annoying clown laugh, makes me wana kms)

splish splash I was gaping his ass

Greetings silly homos residing in my phone One of my friends who was notoriously edgy, shits on Jews and George floyd etc. and also completely unpartiasan and I political, recently turned heel and accused me of being a domestic terrorist with no regard for human life because of my shot charlie kirk Halloween costume. He's turned conservative and dumped our friend group for conservative girlpussy. Have you guys ever pretended to be worse people to get bitches? Is it acceptable so long as you fill the hole? Stay snarky sexies

Funkadelik Pk

So when I say it's like super hero stuff I mean good superhero stuff, a nice balance of action and character (so none of that cynical mcu shit). The goofy Kung fu shit is in the 70s, the cool wierd shit in the 80s, more serious stories in the early 2000s, 2010s gets a bit more light hearted, late 2010s to now is a bit more anime-y but still good. (Tokuzl is a site to watch all these free on if ur not watching whats free on yt) https://youtu.be/G6D0oSQ9qp8?si=aPYfdd02nZUxnK4e. https://youtu.be/5bOQCxIDoRY?si=61d28HYIgWm4yggC

GOTY guy: Beat Zelda BotW, Next Up: Hades!

Question for the Dragon Age boys. Are Origins and 2 considered “required reading” for Inquisition? I doubt I will be able to squeeze them in but it would be nice to know what some true fans think. Thanks you cock-breathed goat rapists.

Eeffoc Cain

Crazy thing i found out literally while watching the newest episode with the d4vd stuff; In mid 2023 my friend/coworker at the time apparently went to see a d4vd concert in Gothenburg after our shift. He wore a blood spattered, damn near blood soaked, button up shirt on stage that night. Fucking crazy.

justrandem

Awwwwhuh My beautiful dumb little baby boy is finally engaged? How quaint(!) What a pussy, I abandoned you and impregnated 18 women while I travelled across the world hunting the last of any species that caught my eye by the time I was your age. Hate, King Dad (Seriously congrats Sween!!)

Tacko2D

Hey guys, This week I wanted to share a Funny Headline from the local news. There is a Sex Shop chain of stores here in Puerto Rico called Condom World, right? This week, a guy robbed one with a knife and made off with a 14 inch Dildo. To make matters worse, he robbed the Condom World in Ponce, on Fagot Ave. The gayest crime of the century? SOURCE - https://www.facebook.com/lacalledigitaloficial/photos/buscan-sujeto-que-se-røbó-a-punta-de-cuchillo-un-dildø-de-14-pulgadas-de-condom-/1782914779788442/

Halo tbag

Greats snark boys. Lately I’ve been considering getting a ps3 since PlayStation can’t get there act together and port over there exclusives from that platform. My question to you guys is, if I decide to go ahead with it what games should I get. I already have my eye on titles like killzone and resistance.

Joker, but with some motion

Are there any songs where you prefer to listen to the radio/music video edit over the original? The 2 that made me think of this question were marigold by periphery cutting out the minute and a half of ambient noise at the end. And virtual insanity by jamiroquai sounds better without the key change bridge to me

Benjamin Button Yahu

Hi swiss, dadick, Big Gay. I recently got my blood tested because of what derrick said about low testosterone and found out i have barely any and need to get that shit fixed so thanks for that. Whole thing cost me 30$ since I'm not in America. Oh and a question, Would Sweeney start liking Joe Budden if he turned white?

The Half-Gay Hispanic That Bites Into The Cheese Stick

Noble prophets of Truth, Regret, and Mercy. Long time viewer and patron, but first time question asker. It's a bit lengthy, but bear with me. Question: Are there any places that you guys loved growing up, but are now ruined by tragedies or contraversies? Please don't say The Twin Towers... If it's of any interest, here is my answer: I was born in Miami and raised in West Palm Beach, Florida. In case you or the audience need a reminder, West Palm Beach is where Mar-A-Lago and Epstein's mansion are. I actually grew up in a house 25 minutes away from there. Yes, this is relevant. The Esptein files came with more than a handful of revelations for me that makes me unable to look at the town I grew up in the same ever again. Locations, institutions, businesses, etc. were involved the entire time, and I was simply unaware of it. It makes me comb through my memories of people I haven't seen since I was a child and wonder if Epstein was the reason why that is the case. I can't even look at my childhood yearbooks the same, as the files revealed that the companies that took yearbook photos in Palm Beach also gave photos to Epstein and his associates for selecting victims. Which means that it's very possible that my brother, sister, and your's truly were all seen and acknowledged by Jeffery and/or Maxwell themselves. Additonally, one of my favorite places to go to while I lived there was Lake Worth Beach, which was literally accessable by the same road that takes you to both Mar-A-Lago and Epstein's Mansion, now fucking sucks emotionally to be at. *Side tangent: Honestly, that place was already kinda ruined since Trump became president as his constant visits during both presidencies would make the traffic to the beach unbearable, but now that I know children were kidnapped there it makes it worse. I now live in the Greater Boston Area, and I recently took my girlfriend to my hometown to meet my family. During my visit I couldn't shake the thought of Epstein's horrors taking place literally blocks and roads down from where I lived. Places I once loved, ruined by Epstein (and Trump). Florida was already a shithole but that honestly makes it worse. If you've read this far, thank you for giving my post your time. Cheers lads!

Adhdeviant

Hey "guys" I know the jokes been going for a while know but I have to know who plays that clown that's always standing just outside of Sweeneys vision thanks and luck you

GreyGhost got Promoted to Manager

no time for a cute hello, just writing in to say THANK YOU CHRIS! I also feel like my internet is working slower and having issues. And i’m not getting texts until DAYS later, specially from group chats, including ones from work. Until now I thought maybe i was just insane. So either i’m not insane or we both are.

I lick-a da penis

Hey you fucking slurs. Lets say that this average millionaire approaches you and says that he wants to fuck your ass. He will pay you an un-taxed $20,000 per minute that you let him. How many minutes do you let this man ravage your ass?

Slow Learner Reads 100 Words an Hour

Oi, Ue, Ue, and Ue. I recently got into an argument with somebody about the current state of 343 and Halo. My point was just kind of that 343’s mismanagement of the Halo IP is crazy (an extraction shooter, really?) and that they kinda suck. This other guy was tryna say that Halo fans are “spoiled” and all they do is complain, that you should just be happy with what they give us and never complain. Anyways, my question is what’s the dumbest argument you’ve heard somebody make about something you care about?

RIP Walt Jr - He's being bigoted in heaven now

Hello my sentient homunculi, Are there any scenes from media that will always make you cry? Doesn't matter how many times you've seen it, there's wet eyes every time. For me it's from Avatar the last Air bender, the Iroh episode of Tales of Ba Sing Se. The second he starts singing for his dead son I'm fucking gone.

shooting ropes to hang myself with

Hey boys, I wrote in eons ago as I was present when the Brass Against vocalist pissed on that guy. This year, I am going back to the festival where that happened for the first time since. I was going to write in and say that I hope to see Dave grohl shit in someone's mouth this time, but I wound up thinking about how much has changed for me in these past 5 years. The first year we went, I couldn't even legally drink. Now I have entered a career, bought a house, met the love of my life, bought my dream car and so on. In fact, one of the only constants in my life in this time are this podcast and my buddy Josh, who was also there during the pissing and will be joining me going back. He is also (now) a fan of this show in his own right. Normally I would leave the sappy write-ups to Sacred, but I felt it would be nice to express my appreciation for you guys and the show. Thank you, and happy pissing.

The Girl Who Loves Deer

Hey Gooners! It’s me, the one who loves deer. I was listening to an old episode where you discussed your playlists and how few songs you have saved, and it surprised me. I have well over a hundred playlists for different things, sleeping, smoking, driving, gaming, etc, and my main big playlist is currently at 22,299 songs. (Yes, I’ve listened to all of them, I have music playing every second of every day, even when I’m listening to the podcast.)

Backshot Kyle

Sup fellas, can you let Sween know we're all are now invited to his wedding for spoiling The Drama for me. Let Lily know your gonna need an extra 2k chairs for the wedding, thanks 👍

PapaGzeus

What's up boys? In episode 404 you talked about drinking and driving in Halo, and I figured I'd share a funny story. Many many years ago I got shitfaced with my friend while playing halo reach. This friend, who's usually better than me at shooting games, commented the next day on how I was absolutely whooping covenant ass and somehow always knew where to go, even when he didn't. However, once I got behind the wheel of the warthog, I started driving like a fucking moron and started crashing into everything. So apparently the saying "drinking and driving don't mix" applies to video games too

SweenyisBlack?I.imaginedHeWasGreen

Hey guys! Quick discussion question. Could you have a superhero who’s racist? Not just ‘flawed’ like they’re moody or can’t have human connections, but genuinely a bad person who ultimately saves people. Thanks and love you beautiful black men (and Sweeny)

sounding myself with a JBL speaker🐶

Hello abomination of a polycule, why don’t yall just make content y’all enjoy? Like I would love to watch videos about halo from Chris he has correct takes and Derrick punk and metal histories or like ass juice flavors. Also sween as someone who genuinely thinks most of your takes are good mix of confused and retarded you know comics well. I’d like to watch more videos by you all

Yasiin Clemens on Spotify and Apple Music

I have a stupid not understanding racism story just like Chris from episode 403. Back in high school (2010) my buddy was beginning me to play league of legends with him. I told him fine I’ll cave but you gotta make my account. Up until about 2017 I saw the clerks 2 for the first time and Randall went on his rant about the term “porch monkey” and taking it back. It hit me like a fucking truck because that was the name my buddy signed me up with on leauge of legends back in high school. I proceeded to delete my account and scrub my Instagram of any images of me playing leauge back in the day. Feels pretty dumb but I guess I was surrounded with good people so I was too innocent to even know that was something bad

Derrick has somethin in common w/ act man now

I rarely get serious on here. But quick question. Who would be on your Mount Rushmore of First Ladies? Mine is Hillary and michelle, full body 69, taking up the space of four heads

JD Vance really got that “Oopsie Daisy” charisma

Sup married nerds, and Chris. What’s your opinion on most shows being locked at 8 episode. Without spoiling, the 5th episode of the boys was great, but it being the fourth to last episode makes me think that the finale will be rushed to hell.

Munkee Munk's Monkey Monastery

Hey Fag, short, and slur I cannot say. Hypothetical for Derrick and Kingston today. Let's say that Jesus does in fact return and he shakes Chris' hands then he tries to dap you both up and let's out a quick soft a. Can he get away with it? Thanks for making me try not to giggle laugh at my new office job btw, much love

Joker, but with some motion

In desperate need of help boys. I work at a 300+ room hospital and am talking to someone outside of my department. We’ve been going on dates for about 2 months and I feel the big decision of actual commitment coming up. While a we have a fair amount of shared interests like baseball, video games, hospital talk, and similar senses of humor, she also is very wasteful with her money, heavily hyper fixates to a point where it raises a small red flag, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little worried about showing her to my family and friends that haven’t met her already. I guess my question is not only what advice would you give me, but also how do you guys view the difference between a person you like enough to overlook and accept certain traits in the pursuit of romance, and someone that you are better off as just friends with? PS: due to us being in different departments we dont interact too much on the clock so that is not a huge factor going one way or another

The Girl Who Loves Deer

Hey! I think this write-in got read on the missing episode Derrick gave to some fenocchio in exchange for a blowjob, so reread it or I’ll hide shitsocks in your houses. Hey Gooners! It’s me, the one who loves deer. I was listening to an old episode where you discussed your playlists and how few songs you have saved, and it surprised me. I have well over a hundred playlists for different things, sleeping, smoking, driving, gaming, etc, and my main big playlist is currently at 22,299 songs. (Yes, I’ve listened to all of them, I have music playing every second of every day, even when I’m listening to the podcast.)

Quube

Hey guys, No shot you catch what this even means but please know Shirt-Man has the same powers as Chainsaw Man. Have a nice day

The Bro Krogan Expierence

Hey fellas If you ever want a fun rabbit hole to go down, check out the Signal Identification Wiki or "sigidwiki". It's a huge constantly updated collection of different radio signals that are broadcast all around the world which include things like digital processing signals; wifi, cellular networks, military signals, atmospheric phenomenon and unidentified signals which are especially fun to watch people try and speculate what they are. As a non expert in the subject I can't say I know that much but it's still fun to check out every once in awhile. Stay gay, and congrats to Sween.

Huge RIP to RJ Mitte (Walt Jr actor)

Rorschach is almost certainly racist, but also I'm not sure about how many people he really ends up "saving." Definitely a genuinely bad person tho. Like just straight up not a good guy at all lol.