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May Question Thread! (Patreon)

Published:
2021-05-02 17:26:49
Imported:
2026-06

Content

The Question thread of the month of May! Don’t diss appoint us! Give us all the juice we require. For I am sad!

Comments

preeroz.

Hey Double Dark, and Goose, OR Two Keith Davids and one oddity, Third time patron (from March), but I've been listening to the podcast mid-December (#49), and I'm currently up to #55. Appreciate the raw commentary as you three legitimately make me bust out laughing during my shifts at work. Third time is a charm, I suppose... Same question. Q: When it comes to nostalgia, what songs sum up your life growing up to before adulthood? You can choose up to five, but you can't go past. I still can't name 5 off the top, but my #1 is forever Royksopp's "Remind Me". much love!

cataclysmic cunt fucked

Hello Hispanic Derek and other....If you could bring any in real items into a fictional world what would it be.. mine would be guns to the fire nation in avatar the last air bender

Higgle

Hey you lil' piss baby, you think you're so fucking cool? Huh? You think you're so fucking tough? You talk a lotta big game for someone with such a small truck Aw, look at those arms Your arms look so fucking cute They look like lil' cigarettes I bet I could smoke you I could roast you And then you'd love it and you'd text me "I love you" and then I'd fucking ghost you

Logan Paul has been the WWE United States Champion for over 90 days, and has defended it fucking ONCE

Hello, Black Ed, Black Edd, and Hispanic Eddy. What is your favorite good thing to come out of the pandemic that could not have happened under normal circumstances? For example: As a wrestling fan, the lack of a live crowd has substantially weakened the appeal of matches, so for certain matches, WWE compensated by framing them cinematically, almost like short films. The Firefly Funhouse match was a match where John Cena was taken into a horrific Elseworld’s dimension where he was forced to have an existential crisis and was basically canonically killed. For those of you who don’t follow wrestling, it might sound stupid, and it is, but it’s the fun kind of stupid, and it couldn’t have happened if the pandemic hadn’t eliminated live crowds.

SinCityJag

Q: How’s it going my sleep paralysis demon, God of Metal, and Glasses on a stick? I’m developing a series of characters for a fictional metal band with one of them being based mainly off of Chris. My question is that if someone was creating a character based off of you guys, what’s one trait they must have and one trait they must not have? Keep up the good work and thanks for the laughs!

Jacques 552

Hi there comic nerd, halo nerd and metal nerd. Q: this one is more targeted towards Sweeny. With the popularity of Invincible, do you think there’s a chance we might get a new Spawn series? Keep up the good work bros. Don’t work yourselves to death

Im just here for the memes

CORRECTION: My last name is pronounced Jur-dee. It is not french. It is Norwegian. Get your shit together, Chris. QUESTION: Hello Matt (Chris), Tyler (SBG), and Caleb (Sween). Would you rather have the gift of telepathy, but everytime you use it you age by 5 years OR have the gift of reading someone's mind at any given time, but when you use it you lose a tooth or a finger nail/toe nail. With either choise, you will eventually die or lose the gift, respectively. For example, if you chose mind reading, once you have lost all of your teeth and nails you lose the gift. Also, the "Matt, Tyler, Caleb" refernece refers to my 3 brothers. Y'all seriously remind me of them with the type of humor that y'all have. I love the podcast and demand that y'all never stop. Even when you die. Just like how Dr. Drew died last month.

Dylan Lives

Hello friends that don't know me! I just recently quit my job because it blew dick, and on my way out I laughed in my boss's face, it was the most liberating feeling I've had in a while. Do you guys have any good stories of you or other people quitting? Thanks for the show fellas

Hey Man, I Know you've been feeling really down on yourself lately. (Formerly Fidel Cashflow)

Hello Ronald Raygun, Sweeney Todd, and La Habra's Last Hope . If any celebrity was able to inspire a cult (I mean like RADICAL, heaven's gate kinda following) which celebrity do you believe would be capable of causing the most damage, or bring about societal collapse? Keep up the great work chaps, you guys are what make the late night dish shifts at chili's fly by.

Dusk

So I've been on the hunt for an engagement ring for my girlfriend and during my hunt I've come to the conclusion that diamonds are dumb and lab diamonds are worth the time. Anyway Q: What's your guys opinion on diamonds? (especially sween)

badlybrave

Hey fuckers. What is the best opening track on an album? Chris, after Derek and Sween answer wrong, please explain why it's Intro/Chamber the Cartridge

Oat

Hello the good, the bad and the ugly. Quick question regarding who would win in a fight. Set in modern day, do you think The Arbiter could defeat the T-800 or T-1000 from the terminator franchise? The Arbiter has 48 hours to prepare. Who do you see coming out on top?

Nostalgia

Hello Base, Shaft, and Tip. I was just curious what you guys were looking forward to seeing most at E3 next month. I'm very excited to see them announce nothing new whatsoever for Splinter Cell or Deus Ex. Have a good week.

Chris Chan’s mom stuck in the dryer

Hello silly minorities. This has been my favorite podcast since you guys started doing this regularly, but this is the first time I’ve actually donated. My question is simple: what is the most amount of pain you have ever been in? I don’t mean any gay-ass emotional “I got my feelings hurt” bullshit, but real pain. Keep up the good work and thanks for making long drives a lot more bearable.

John Strickland

Hello Chris Derrick and sween long time listener first time patron Q: you get a million dollars but for the rest of your life you cum confetti. You can choose whether you want it to sound like a party horn or party popper. By the way I’d definitely do this

Sween looking like the Conguitos mascot

Wazzzap my dudes. Under the advisory of Joe, Sweeny, and Chris, I have bought a 1080 elgato capture card to start streaming! Q: do you three have any advice for a streamer brand new to the platform (twitch)? I was thinking of being a chill streamer, chatting while playing BOTW, Monster Hunter Rise (love it btw), Mario Kart, etc. Q: do you think the structure I have in mind is viable or do you have any changes or recommendations for me? Thanks so much guys for all that you do and I’m happy I can support your morally questionable rants and general confusion of jelly fish. See ya around -Nikki (F, in case you still forget what gender I am)

Al Quraan

Hi guys first time writing in. Just wanted to know if you guys half life alyx and what are your thoughts on the ending? (I understand this is a spoiler question so feel free to to skip over it).

Wibbly Wobbly Big Tower Thingies

Hello Chris future weapon bahookey, ghiradelli shredder, and bigger better Kodak Black. I want to hear the best insults y’all have overheard at parties, bars, or just out in the public. Or just something y’all overheard somewhere that made you laugh really hard.

Warwolf

Hello violence fetish, tall women fetish, and Joe Rogan fetish. What is a movie soundtrack that you believe is underrated and everyone should listen to? An example would be 1999’s Tarzan because Phil Collins went way harder than he needed to and it is still one of Disney’s best soundtracks. Best wishes, you delightful dumbfucks

Pigimees

Hey feeble skeleton man, evil child killer, and horny on main, what is the most fucked thing that happened while taking a walk in nyc or la ?

Midwest Methamphetamine Manufacturing, LLC

Hello HP Lovecraft & his two pet cats, If you’re familiar with the works of Lovecraft, John Carpenter’s cosmic horror trilogy, The Void, Herbert West Reanimator, Evil Dead, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Blob, Event Horizon, The Mist, or 2001: A Space Odyssey, then you’ll recognize the common themes of cosmic horror. My question is thus, have you ever seen a film, read a book, played a game, or listened to an album that reflected cosmic humor or cosmic comedy?

God is alive because Andrew Tate is gonna be caked in cum in prison soon

Hello! Long time listener (I've listened to every episode at this point), and finally laughed so hard that I accidently became a patreon! What is the funniest game you've ever played and why was it funny? (Ie. skate 3 cause of it's broken physics, TLOU2 cause of bashed-in head Joel, Hitman cause the AI is so bad, etc.) And no you can't kill youreself.

Sly Cooper and the gang running a train on Carmelita

Hello you pathetic troglodytes. I’ve sent in questions for the past 3 months and still nothing, fucking bite me. My question is for Derek. Since you are very much a fan at modding games such as Skyrim, have you ever watched any videos of MXR Mods?

FredDurstButABratwurst

Hello Muscle, Fat, and Sinew. I was just wondering if you guys have an opinion on the band Flogging Molly. They're one of my favorite bands and their style seems right up Chris' alley

The 1st Church of Keith David pres, Chris Reagan

Best of wishes, oh wise apostles of our lord and savior Keith David. Q: If you were forced at gunpoint to either fuck a female clone of yourself, or the female clone of one of your co-hosts what would you do? May the blessings of Keith David be upon thee. May his voice narrate mankinds' path towards eternal peace.

Icebreaker

Howdy there Musical Ying-Yang and Tom. Simple question, has there ever been a time where you questioned your sexuality at some point and why? Stay snarked up crew.

Miguel Antonio

Hello the whitest black man, alt-right Lin Manuel Miranda and Tom "finally playing Mass Effect" Sweeny! I'm a first time patron, long time listener who tunes in to hear your ramblings pretty much every day while I play videogames. I'm glad I finally get to support my favorite show on YouTube. My question for you fiends is: Has a videogame ever changed your perspective on a social issue or had a moment that made you completely reconsider your view point on the world? For me, it was Metal Gear Solid 2, which scarily predicted the future and taught me a lot about censorship and how information we receive is controlled. Thank you for putting so much effort into the show and thank you Chris and Derrick for getting me into Hades and metal respectively.

Slitty Werbenjagermanjensen

Hello, volatile ice cream sandwich. What is the funniest hate message you have seen or received during your time as internet personalities? Also, Chris, thanks for entertaining me after I graduated college a few years ago. Lots of boring nights were avoided thanks to your old videos playing in the background while I was running through my first playthroughs of Skyrim and Fallout New Vegas. Love the show and look forward to each of y'all's future endeavors! Also, thanks for helping me get into Supergiant's games!

Gaydolf Niggler

Greetings Feeble-bodied Ricky Martin, Less impressive Yasuke, and my 5th favorite Kingston. My question is this, If you could give any game developer any liscensed property, which developer would you choose and which property would you give them? Example: Giving Respawn the Transformers video game liscense Take care and I hope your USB cables always plug in the right way first.

Raw lunchables give you ADHD

Good day to you Keith David, Keith David and the kind of spicy that is actually pretty mild but white people say is spicy. What is the closest this world has come to giving you an early trip to the grave that was completely outside of your control? For me, the transformer on an electric utility pole spontaneously combusted while I was walking down the street, the combustion severed one of the cables and the tip of it landed about 8 feet in front of me. I have no idea if it was live or not at that point, but it made me hyper aware that my life could just end for no reason at any time. Looming visions of death aside, keep doing what you're doing you funny fellas

PapaGzeus

What's good my mongoloid maniacs? Have you ever had a fucked up memory suddenly un-repress itself, and if so what was it? This past year I was burdened with the memories of the time I saw a ufo AND the time I was mindlessly browsing porn on my psp as a teen when I somehow found what I'm pretty sure was CP

Atroshious

Gday fella, cobba and bloke. If you all were drafted into the military, but you had a choice of which branch to join. Which would it be and why? Keep it real.

Dank Magician of Chaos

Afternoon gentleman, not so gentleman and primal rage incarnate. I just found out I'm going to become a father and I'm absolutely scared shitless to say the absolute least. Anyways, my question is: What is some general life advice you wish your parental figures would have received when raising you? For me it's I wish my dad would have learned to hear your kids out instead of assuming they're all naive. In 2010 I told my dad to just put 1K in Bitcoin for me instead of a college fund and he thought I was asking for video game currency. Anyway, love the show and thanks for all the laughs!

Lots of Lava Lamps

Dear Racist against aliens, Racist against gorillas and Racist against black people, I wrote in to ask if you think this is a good use of my five dollars

Sween looking like the Conguitos mascot

Dear meat stick, tripod, and long shlong, Q: is every guy self conscious about his dick size, if even just a little bit? My bf recently had some guy friends over and they talked about size comparisons, apparently a common guy thing to do (?), and the whole convo screamed insecure to me especially when they asked me, the only female present, how small is too small? As I don’t have a sausage and two eggs hanging between my legs, this was a new experience for me and I thought, who better to ask than you? Thanks a bunch for the insight into the male hive brain. - Nikki

Lu10net Lipton’s Famous Wyverns Debunking the Pussyhat Incident of 2017

Hello TomSI, GuitarOnDick and The Nostalgia Dubbz. What game or type of game would you want to see “The Nemesis System” featured in? I think sports games, especially hockey, would be perfect, as it could lead to not only individual rivalries between players, but also for your team to create new rivalries across the league. Example: The Denver Broncos having beef with the Florida Panthers for no reason. Hope you’re all doing well and always looking forward to the next episode. Lu10netLipton

Hades is just Reverse Diablo

Greetings satan in burnt flesh suit, somehotguy (terrible pun I know) and wrinkled flesh on a stick If you could change your sexual preferences to be attracted to older people would you? And what age rage are we looking at? Objectively, if you could, changing your sexual preferences to be attracted to older people would be SIGNIFICANTLY advantageous to preferring younger people, (we spend most of our lives as withered beef jerky and lots of us die looking like dark souls 1 hollows, plus older people are more mature and got connections, money etc) I think about this a lot since I used to be obese, and overly self conscious about it, like to the point where I’d actively avoid relationships. now that I’m a lot happier in my skin I feel like I missed out on most of the fun I could have had in my youth because I was so overly image conscious.

7xcritical

Aloha three people who spend half the podcast talking about how not gay they are. What is the most confusing bit of lore you know about anything? and no Dr. Drew's death is not weird for in fact every day is the day he dies he is an immortal being who is tortured with an everlasting cycle of life and death.

SryMissJackson

Good evening Hispanic and the Discos! If you could have one collaboration between creators what would it be? This can be one company having a crack at another’s IP, a game being turned into a movie, vice versa, or something else. As a lifelong Ghibli sycophant, I’d kill for Miyazaki to take a crack at a Zelda movie. Cheers!

Sustingus

Question: Would you rather do a rail of cocaine off of a hobos dirty dick, or have a hobo suck cocaine off of your cock? Keep in mind the hobo is a legit dirt goblin, a veteran of the streets, and not just someone down on their luck, so you know their genitals are just teeming with some absolutely wild shit. Here's the kicker, though, the cocaine has been cut with some real nasty stuff so you're immediately addicted and the only way to get more is to snort it off of the hobo's sweaty sauteed smegma penis. If the hobo sucks the cocaine from your penis you have the best climax of your life, magnitudes better than you've ever had, and it essentially ruins sex forever because nothing could compare to the hobo slurping your nob. You can't kill yourself before or after, you have to do one and live with the concequences.

There’s an active serial killer in my area help

Hello Puerto Rican Derrick, fat Derrick, and Derrick. I was recently at work, and as I awaited the accursed staff elevators so I could bring the case carts from one Sterile Processing department to another, a couple of people in food service arrived. It was dead silent for several minutes until I randomly ripped the loudest ass I have ever expelled in my life. They both laughed. What is something you’ve done or said that could have easily ended very poorly for you, but instead ended well?

Chris consuming the essence of 117 masterful queefs from a 6ft 10 inch man named John. He also likes green

Querida quiero ser Mexicana y mayate, I'm just messing with yall I'm not going to do this question in Spanish. How ya Doin? Now I ain't from a Mexican heavy state(I am Latino). So when my friends from Cali(LA and around that area, different races and ethnicities) say Cali is low key racist as all get out it makes me wonda. Then I heard Cali repealed prop 16 openin the door for legal discrimination. So I gotta know is Cali actually racist? I'm talkin people, cops, the whole nine yards. I kinda want to visit Cali since its neara to me now than ever before. I ain't lookin to get shot or what have you I just want to peep the place out, see some sights eat some food and get outta there. PS. Here's what I said (Dear wannabe Mexicans and [a derogatory word for black people, it's not the n-word] dung beetle). To other Spanish speakers lemme know how to improve this sentence cause there wasn't a lot spanish slang up where im from so my Spanish is Iffy at best. PSS.I absolutely upped my accent from where im from just to mess with Chris reading it, but I genuinely love the show and honestly yalls content puts a smile on my face. keep up the good work. Have a goodin.

Sickdicktrick

Hello the most based podcast trio on the internet, What is each of your favorite podcasts? You can't say the Snark Tank. My favorite is the Official Podcast, with the Snark Tank coming in at a close second. P.S. Get moistcr1tikal on the podcast

CrizzlyBear

Hello passive-aggressive tweet, tweet about the UFC, and tweet with spelling and grammatical errors. Juvenile Q: This is a hypothetical my friends and I have had many heated debates over. If an old women who had an unlimited supply of money had just taken a muddy Taco Bell shit and she would pay you to lick her asshole clean how much money would you ask for? I have always said there is no amount of money that would ever make me agree to this but my MENTALLY UNSTABLE IDIOT friends all say that $3,000 sounds reasonable. Are you giant idiots who think that $3k to eat shit out of an old woman's ass sounds fair too or do you have functioning brains?

CrizzlyBear

I cannot stress this enough LESS THAN TWO MONTHS PAY TO EAT SHIT OUT OF AN OLD WOMAN'S ASS LESS THAN ONE MONTH FOR SOME PEOPLE

CrizzlyBear

YOU CAN ASK FOR LITERALLY ANY AMOUNT AND THEY ASK FOR 3K THATS IT

CrizzlyBear

This is way too easy bro

Hold on, there's a Bug on my screen

Hello Tall, Dark, and Skinny, First time patron here, and big fan of the streams and channels. A lot of great games have come out both this year and last, though I've noticed a lot of them are either singleplayer or solo-focused (Hades, Doom Eternal, Ghost of Tsushima, etc.) I wanna have a great time playing games with my friends but we can never decide on what to play, so my question is, are there any games that you and the homies can boot up knowing you'll have a good time? Any multiplayer games that you always come back to that keeps those old friendships alive. Would love to see y'all play some on stream, and keep up the good work. You give us all the big funnies.

The Egg in Chris Farleys mouth

Hey howdy hey ethnically diverse sleepy cabin, do you guys have any horrible fan interaction stories ? Any death threats or fans wanting to wear your skin like a jump suit ?

Enraged against the MaSween

Hello Christofer Weasley, Derrick Potter and HerSweenione Granger, Greetings from Sweden! What is your favourite, most underrated tv show and/or film? (Yes Chris, We know Inglorius Basterds is good) Thanks for the content that's been keeping me from blowing my brains out at work and to/from university lectures. (PS First time Patron)

A Level 1 Cleric

Praise be brothers. What is the most useless, but highly specific/detailed piece of trivia you know? For example, did you know the smallest town, in the smallest county, in the smallest state, in America is Warren, Rhode Island of Bristol county.

Brodurick

Hey dudes, I’ve had the question-tier Patreon for a while but haven’t asked anything yet. What are the most disappointing parts of games to you? I love Bioshock, but after you kill Ryan it feels like the devs got lazy, with the random powers, and guarding little sisters while splicers attack.

james passmore

Hey dudes, what’s a game that will probably never be made but you want it so bad?

Wash yo ass

Hello skinny Chris Chan, idi Amin and black Timothy Mcveigh, Who’s your least favorite character from any show/game?

Big Boo Limpy Sniggens (LIL)

Hello insolent creature, amorphous blob of flesh And Alien Fucker Does Inspector Gadget (or robocop if you're sad) deserve human rights Ive asked this to several people and gotten different answers each time.

Why Bother Tho

Hello there not fat, kinda fat, and sorry buddy, I noted Derrick mentioned the anime sub contreversy but no one, not even him, really knew what it was about. So to set it up, basically people for a while now have incorporated modern day things like slang and politics into subs and dubs rather than translating things directly. As totally estranged outsiders to the whole debacle and the anime community at large, do you guys think this actually has an impact on the material or is it just pointless Twitter ranting?

Ari

Hello the most divers podcast I've heard in at least the last 3 seconds My brother posed the following death battle to me: Who would win, a Gorilla or a Brown Bear? I know you guys are sick of Gorilla vs Navy scenarios, but this one is actually more interesting and less one sided I believe. Much love, love the show!

HeartlessWretch

Season 1 , episode 4 , 28:17 of Mr robot Keith David is talking fish. If you have Amazon prime you can watch it in prime video for free. I know this isn't a question but something I think you'd all get a kick out of.

Antifus Maximus

Greetings ethnic oreo. In animation, do you prefer 2D or 3D? Personally, I think a show like Castlevania wouldn't be half as good if they had attempted to do it in 3D. Stay funny, stay frosty.

Hee Larvey Boswald

Hello Men and their Microphones who keep me awake on the long haul drives so I don’t drive off another cliff. My question is- what is the most dangerous or ridiculous thing you’ve accidentally gotten yourself into? Last year my friend and I were looking for places to shoot off fireworks for the 4th of July and accidentally broke all the way into an active National Guard base that we thought was abandoned. The entire place was empty because it was July 4, and we only realized we fucked up because we called a phone number on the front gate sign and someone answered it

Merks1889

Waddup bois! One of my dream goals is to start a studio that actually makes good video game movie adaptations. What video game would you love to see a movie adaptation of? For me one of my top choices would be Doom because It'd just be 2-3 hours of straight carnage lol.

Jack

Greetings minority with white privilege, soft A and Hard R, it's ya boy coming to you straight from Northern Ireland. Who is a videogame character you love not for how they play or the game they come from, but their design, personality and story? Personally I just got SFV recently and I really love Sakura's designs and her happy go lucky personality which I find extremely endearing

TexasTaterSalad

Howdy merry band of misfits! I know overall y’all are not fans of anime but one that is a must watch is the ghost stories dub. It was a generic kids show in Japan but the dub voice actors turned it into a dark comedy and it is absolute gold. If any of you have seen it, what did you think of it?

Sickdicktrick

Howdy big dick, average dick and small dick. Would you rather have a butthole on your hand (you can choose which hand) or a third hand above your butthole.

Unwelcome Ghost

Hello there Hispanic Teenage Anakin, Every Evil Thought Personified, and Jackson Briggs. I'd like to know what each of you think the worst male name and worst female name is.

huggerderek

Hello you warriors of all things punk, metal, and rap. Who do you find are just some of the worst musical artists that are popular at the moment. I mean artists whose songs you just can't stand. For me it's of course Nickelback. Love you beautiful boys and thanks for the content.

Connor King

Chris, Derrick, and Sween... Prepare to get mad, but this needs to be said. Being really into comics is no different than being into anime, and comic nerds are just weebs who don't like subtitles. Dragonball is to anime, what the Michael Bay Transformer movies are to cinema. I accept any and all hate y'all are gonna dish out over this, it sustains me.

mr. faggot you are so fucking gay

Hey you people, what is your least favourite album from your favorite artist? Personally, I love every system of a down album, but my least favorite is probably steal this album.

Sustingus

Hello Twink, Twunk, and Twat. Simple one for ya, what’s the worst thing you’ve ever eaten? Or if you can’t think of just one, what foods do you hate?

james passmore

Hey beer gut, slender man and Chris Chan but black. What 3 games would you recommend to someone who hasn’t played video games? Bonus points if they’re all on the same console. Also no game collections because The master chief collection would be on it no matter what if you could have collections

GuyNamedGray

Greetings Chadicus Blacksimus, visually impaired sex goblin, and the broken watch that's only right twice a day. I am a first time patron. I've almost completed my first playthrough of God of War (2018) and I'm having a good time, but some of the game's mechanics can be frustrating. I particularly dislike the close up camera and levelling system. What features in critically acclaimed AAA games do you guys hate? P.S. Thanks for bringing some laughter to my days. Take my money, you fools.

Bis

Hey, I'm shit at making witty names so I'll skip this part, what animal would you love to have as a pet? For me I would love to get an emerald tree boa when I finally become financially capable to move into my own place. Also, thanks for helping me cope though college.

Nichola Temple

I think the "white boy summer" thing was started by recurring snark tank podcast character Chet Hanks.

Lord Shaxx's shoulder pads

Hello Mario Jaundice, Wario Judas, and Judas Priest, my question is this, you get any weapon from video games or movies or whatever. What do you choose, personally I go with Rebellion, Dante's sword from dmc.

Andrew

Opinions on the new Greta Van Fleet album?

The Boneless One

Hello Seething Goblin Thief, Raging Goliath Barbarian, and a very Thirsty Bard; my question to you is What is your favorite fantasy creature/monster? You all might call me basic, and say my taste is as worthless as I am, but I gotta go with the classic Western Style Red Dragon

Jack

Hello Man in child's body, Child in man's body and man in a small man's body. Greetings from Northern Ireland once again. If you could learn one skill associated with a trade that is no longer as prevalent as it was 100-200 years ago what would it be and why? For example, I'd love to learn blacksmithing so I could make cool swords and shit. Keep up the great work you deplorable degenerates

Dan hold her tighter she’s a fighter Schneider

What’s up Cock Gobblers, I was wondering what is the wildest thing a Stranger has ever told you? I’m only asking this because I had an experience where a homeless man came up to me and kept trying to convince me to join the army and then proceeded to tell me “Yea you see this screwdriver? I use it to stab *insert N word with hard R*. Yea just the other day 2 N-words ran up on me and I stabbed both of them”

james passmore

Would you rather lose both arms or both legs?

EthanIsHere

Hello Dick, Richard, and Johnson first time patron and question asker and I'm curious, what are some games you have started but never finished.

A̸̻̟̎͐͋͊͜A̸̢͇̹͙͌Ą̶͓̥̼̲̯̇͂̍̀H̸͂̆̽͒͊͂̈́ͅH̴̝͌̒H̴͎̹̅́̈́H̴̥̎̓́ͅH̶̛̱̯̞͙̯͔͈̆̆̇̌H̴̤̺̜̻͕̤͖̀͋̀̌̇͘H̵̺̀͌̈́͒̚H̶̱̤͑̋̃̓

QUESTION: Have you ever heard of the song mashup “Radioactive in the Dark”? Cause my friend is ecstatically describing and praising this song even claiming it to be the best song ever and I’m so very confused. If you don’t know about it and haven’t figured it out it’s a mashup of “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons and “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark” by Fall Out Boy. Here’s the link if patreon allows links https://youtu.be/eR99ubyBCGE

Zelex

Is Filmora really worth the money for someone starting out? That export asking price is giving me ugly looks bros

Not Gay Ben (I'm not gay(no really I’m not(seriously I swear I'm not(you have to believe me))))

Hey Chris, Sween and Mr. Big Dick Peen Machine, I’m not gay. That being said, in honor of episode 69, I must ask you great sex warriors, how does one achieve consensual, mutually enjoyable, non-homosexual intercourse with a woman? I am but a humble Christian boi hoping to get his peen sweened this quarantine summer, I require your wisdom. Ps. I’m not gay (I like women)

Antifus Maximus

Hello 1, 2, and 3. What’s your favorite weird but true fact from history? Mine is that in World War II a German division in France all got high on the Nazi chocolate meth they were given, causing them to collectively hallucinate that they were under attack and fire all their weapons into the woods to the point that they couldn’t attack the next day because they were all out of ammunition. Stay funny, stay frosty.

A Pimp named Slickback

Hello Gamer Gang Much like how Mass Effect is getting a 4th install, what other finished game series would you like to get a new install? Also, which series should have been Old yeller'd before it took a tragic nose dive?

PapaGzeus

Here's another gem for you boyos: The earth has now been invaded by 10' tall, humanoid, tungsten-based life forms. How would you try to survive this? P. S. fuck off, you can't kill yourselves

Murderascended

Hello....boooiiiiisss. So lets say you want to be cucked "hypothetically" but your raggedy bitch is to loyal to sleep with someone else. So you make a personal cuck video of you in black face, or white face. For personal use. Would that be rascist?

Sween the typa guy to eat holographic meatloaf

Howdy there Goblin King of Los Angeles, "Totally not a Serial Killer," and Derrick. Kind of a basic question, but I was curious if you guys have any advice about how to overcome a lack of focus/burnout as a creator. I've been writing stories since I was a kid and hope to be a published author one day, but can't keep myself committed to one idea to spend my time on. Stay snarky, fellas!

Sustingus

Hello there twink, twunk, and twat. Are there any animals that you just fucking hate or, in general, disagree with the existence of? One that immediately comes to mind for me is the Bobbit Worm and giraffes. Anyway I hope you guys have a good one.

Austin Wakeman

Hello to my favorite white supremacist podcast hosts. I've been huge fans of Chris and Derrick since 2016 and i've been listening since episode one but this is my first ever patreon donation, so please be gentle it's my first time. I got in a debate with my coworkers a while ago about whether or not a cupcake with no frosting is just a muffin. Imo, if the only difference is the level of sugar, then they're basically the same, one just has frosting and the other doesn't. My coworkers were split about 60/40 with most disagreeing but I don't see why. I didn't feel too strongly about this until the majority disagreed with me so now I do. Sorry for the paragraph but not really.

MelficeOne

CORRECTION/ADDITION to Snark Tank 68: theres not only lizards for Stamina, teres also fruits for health. and you can find one of each almost immidetely after exiting the shrine.

SatanicBabyEater

Hey, two chattels and Master Sween, in your last podcast, you made the claim that you got over getting drunk. I'm similar in the sense that I waited to drink at the legal age and quickly realize it's kinda boring. My question is: what alcohol beverage do you enjoy the taste of, but also hate because it gets you shit faced? I personally like the taste of Goose Island Bourbon County Stout because it tastes like my parents wanted to abort me at the 95th trimester, but at 14.5% a pint it's a bit much for me.

007 is peak, more games should let you throw guns

Greetings, holders of my financial information. I just got my first credit card and immediately I decided to start supporting my favourite podcast that I've been listening to since Jan. 2020. My question is as follows. What is the game that's gotten you closer than any other to destroying your TV or maybe your roommate? For me it's a tossup between the tailing missions of Assassin's creed 3, and just For Honour in general. Thanks for all the laughs!

Doug's Discount Toiletries You Wipe it and we Swipe it

Hello liveleak, halo, and Mass Effect, I have a question for Chris but anyone can answer if they've also played it. Chris what are your thoughts on returnal so far? I'm personally loving it and after I finish it I'm definitely going to give Hades a try as returnal was my first rouguelite. Any other good ones out there? I've been recommended binding of Isaac so I'll most likely look into getting that as well.

If you say Pastie Roll instead of Pastie Bap I will visit you in your sleep to provide immediate difenistration

Hello there Killer Mike, EL-P, and fellow Metal-Maniac. Another OG Gretchen kicking the tank some fuel after so long and wondering; are there any standout music contradictions to your normal personality (meaning a shift in behaviour when listening to certain genres/whatever that onlookers may not expect)? My example: appearing as the local "0-flying-fiddler's-fuck" Thrasher dude but really a softy who is physically unable to resist grooving to Jamiroquai, no matter the company. Sneaky fecking bonus RE: food consumption order- Eating like the original comment my whole life, simply don't eat Chinese. Everything on a plate is assigned a strict order while meals are plain as possible to minimise length of the chain i.e. Pizza = Impossibility. Thank you for continuing to breathe oxygen while periodically talking shite in a recorded & published setting!

Murderascended

Hey there >insert clever names< Have you guys ever looked back on something that you've been...addicted to. And have a minor existential crisis. For me its Halo. Sometimes i look back and look at all the stuff i own and while i think its cool i feel a small modiCUM of saddness for how it has influenced me and the amount of money i have put into it.

TexasTaterSalad

Hello triple Garrus simps! Not really a question but I would just like to point out that Sween will actually an alien fucker after playing mass effect

Warhammer 40k Reference

Greeting you abominable cretins from below the Earth's crust, if you could eradicate one piece of art or culture from anywhere and any time, which would you remove?

John Martian

Hello the trashbag full of cat litter that killed my uncle, the fish that married my cousin, and the demon that keeps my bed warm during the New American Rebellion, What piece of the internet would you say warped our generations sense of humor? Not Live Leak, that shit is obviously twisted, but what era or thing would you attribute to our people's weird-ass humor today?

el.brollo.loco

Ahoy lads, my question is simple. Is it gay to fuck a "male" sex doll? Asking for a friend. Thanks for the content

bnam2

Hello three handsome boys, before my question I wanted to share a story. While I was at the gym I was getting a bit tired of my music playlist and hoped your #68 episode would make my 3 mile jog go by a bit faster. Once Chris called Bo, Bobama I had to stop running and leave the gym to try not to embarrass myself with how hard that made me laugh. Anyway I am in genuine need of a single player game to play as my good bud who would play games with me has moved to Germany and online games have not been hitting the same since (not mass effect as I already have that on my list of games to play. Anyways love the podcast and I'm excited to listen to future episodes, probably not at the gym though.

Connor King

Snark boys, tonight (literally 3 hours ago) I almost died on the highway when my drivers side control arm snapped and I spun into the guard rail on a 3 lane highway. Fortunately I'm fine, but this incident made me wonder if any of you three have any interesting car accident stories. I just wanna feel like I'm not the only idiot who has shit like this happen to them.

Sustingus

What is up my neglected nematodes. Got a simple one for you this week, what's your faviourate and least faviourate animal?

Jonathan Anguiano

Helloh guys! Just want to say thanks for the greatest content to exist during my this school year. Really helped a lot especially when I got no other podcast to turn when I want to give some voices for my ears. Besides that, I got a question: What movie have you seen in your past that made you laugh harder because you didn’t realize how hilarious some parts of it actually were? For me it was “Epic Movie” because Kevin Hart played a brown tunic wearing guy who throughout the entire scenes he was in did “whiteface” the entire time. I’ve seen this part so much when I was a kid but I had no idea why he was painted that way until recently. That is a moment that I realized recently and remains to me as one of the most hilarious things to exist when remembering a movie from my past.

Davy Cannaseed, the planter of weed

Hello, definitely sold weed, probably sold weed, and most definitely stole weed, ill cut right to the chase; whats the single most soul crushingly depressing part of history youve lived through so far in your opinions, for me its right now with both my favourite musical and literary artists dying within a few months of each other after several family deaths and a bad breakup, keep up the insanity, you 3 are the voices in my head whispering sweet nothings to get me through the day. xoxo, excessive love, your future stepfather

Sween looking like the Conguitos mascot

Hello good and respectable gentlemen! Under the advisory of sir ray gun and king Sween, I have watched breaking bad and invincible! I really enjoyed both! I’m on season 3 of breaking bad (watching it in small doses). My question for you three is about the female characters in the show that everyone hates! I don’t understand WHY they’re so hated? I think Amber and Skyler are bitchy, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think they at all deserve the gargantuan amount of hate they receive...idk if it’s the femoid blood in my veins or what, but I wanted to ask three of the least level headed guys I know, who’s opinions I scarcely appreciate, what they think and why. Part of me doesn’t want to believe there’s this huge group of guys online that just really fucking hate women and think they should just roll over and forgive every guy who hurts them if they had some semblance of a reason...but I’m kinda leaning that way. Thanks for all the laughs and I hope Patreon doesn’t fuck me in the ass anymore and my name is on the $25 tier list at the end of the show!

DeadIbis

Hello, Biblethumper, Crime of Passion and Physical Incarnation of Viagra, out of all of the futuristic supersoldiers in videogames at the moment two reign supreme, Doomslayer/Doomguy and Master Chief both are savoirs of humanity who tear through hordes of enemies to reach their goal. This raises a question that could only be answered by chaps of your expertise, who would win Doomslayer or Master Chief. Their equipment will be the maximum power seen from them in their respective franchises except Doomslayer will not have the BFG (nor will Master Chief have the Halo equivalent (if there is one I haven't beat all the halo games yet)) because thats a cop-out. Master Chief will have the energy sword and Doomguy will have the crucible sword for close combat. My money is on Doomguy as He rips through the legions of hell faster than a U.S. President rips through a third world country. Bonus Question: Hellspawn VS The Covenant who would win? First time patreon, keep up the good work boys

Please don't take my pocket pussy, it's all I have left of my dead wife

Howdy bootleg Peter Parker, Lil D from up the block, and the creature from the back of the bus. What is your dream concert? Pick 5 to 10 artists or groups alive or dead to perform in a once in a life time, mind jizzingly good concert. I don't know every act I would choose but I would atleast need to have Michael Jackson, SWV, Brandy, Biggie, Kendrick, Snoop, and close things out with This is How we do it by Montell Jordan. P.S: This is the most fun podcast to listen to during work so keep up the good work. And if you don't title any of the next 10episodes "That's 70s Podcast" you've failed

Doug's Discount Toiletries You Wipe it and we Swipe it

Not a question, but hoping it gets read or at least mentioned. Y'all were talking about worst names to give someone and after learning Derrick's last name is Pilot, how about he names his son Pontius?

MelficeOne

why the new Episodes not going up on spotify anymore?

Sticky

Hey all, Sticky here. New patron and first ever patreon donator. My question is this, Is COVID-19 Papa John's day of Reckoning, or is there something bigger on the horizon that we don't know about?

Kazaryu

heeey first time patron. been thinking about joining for a while, or at least ofr this month. but i immediately had to join to ask....how does sween think submariners survive when they can be underwater for days at a time?

FenHerald

New patron but long time fan here, my question is this: What is the most absurd or ridiculous (or disgusting, dangerous, dumb, etc.) thing you've asked someone else to do for you, and were surprised and shocked that they actually did it?

K.SL

Hey Nerd, Guy, and the hard R first time asker, recent subscriber, all around long time fan. Also, ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ you "Kingston" Tomithy Sweensty for ruining everytime I eat out my girlfriend with that "burping and slupring bs". Anyways, this is my question: What is the most cringe-inducing moment you had with someone of the opposite sex. the one you think back on and wonder if your whole life was just the follow up to Seinfeld 2 due to the vibe check you just failed? Thank you for answering. Have a terrible day.

Watch the Big Lez show y fakin kants

Suggestion: The 15 dollar tier could allow people to give you video and audio recomendations and have you react to it. I know it's an internet content 101 but it could drive some interaction with the community.

Bis

Hello the three wankateers, got a scenario for you. You've all been abducted by the Mexican mafia to find out they have been colluding with aliens and have the ability to perfectly transfer DNA from any animal into one. You all have to chose three animals that you would combine into the ultimate life form and then they would all fight each other, whoever's genetic monstrosity wins doesn't get sex trafficked.

A Tiny Asian Yakuza

Hello, again, Mini Man, Every Hole's a Goal, and My Dad. I have a Question/ scenario for the lot of ya. First off, have you guys heard of the dolphin pussy jelly that makes you cum SUPER hard (I'm talking about HOUR LONG COOMING)? Second, if you were to have some of this jelly in your possession, would you use it? Thanks for being some funny fuckers. Much love to you all. P.S, Sweeny, you are my father, you know it to be true.

Dekayto

Hey! Have y’all seen Bo Burnham’s new special? If so, what did you think of it?

The Milk Man that Looks like Chris

What is up my chuckle fucks. My question is something that very closly relates to me. What is the worst family name you have ever seen? I got very lucky because my parents named both me and my brother after our grandpas, but I got very lucky, my paternal grandpa's name is Dual Gray [REDACTED]. My dad was almost named that but just got away with Gray for a middle name and he saw how fucking stupid that name was and they named me after his stepdad. After all of that and they still thought Dick was a good alternitive.

PP. when does the pain get better. help

hi there sex beast, sex machine, and Chris. first time subscribing. so heres the real talk. would you rather have your balls elongate and harden with your dick whenever you get aroused, forming a genital tripod, OR have to squeeze your balls to pump your dick up to get hard like a pair of pump sneakers? P.S: Chris i think youre a sexy beast too but i had to do it for the meme. Id dick you down too if i was gay.

aido M

I heard she pours milk in before cereal.