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Sexuality in Baldur's Gate 3 and Dragon Age: The Veilguard [Patreon exclusive] (Patreon)

Published:
2025-02-06 08:34:35
Edited:
2026-08-23 07:46:07
Imported:

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Spilling the sexuali-T on Baldur's Gate 3 and Veilguard! On paper Veilguard is a bisexual utopia. So why do I prefer BG3's playersexuality?

Spilling the sexuali-T on Baldur's Gate 3 and Veilguard!

On paper Veilguard is a bisexual utopia. So why do I prefer BG3's playersexuality? A medium dive into gaming sexuality and some things which annoy me!

This video is an appendix to The Bulge Slider.See also: A Gay Bar for Straight Men - A Cyberpunk 2077 Review

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Verity Ritchie

If anyone wants more information about my adventures as a pacifist bard, I am happy to share lol

Verity Ritchie

indeed it is the only thing I truly care about in my life right now

Keirik

I actually did enjoy Veilguard quite a bit but I also agree with everything you said about it lol

Ju Lucent

Please do share (greetings from a diplomatic druid)

Ju Lucent

PS: I romanced Astarion and (more by accident) Halsin on my first playthrough. Those two do not care about monogamy.

James Rule

Wondering if the shallowness of The Veilguard is a leftover from it originally being planned as a live service game, or if Bioware just sucks.

Verity Ritchie

Yeah its hard to say! There were such massive problems with the writing; writers quitting, getting sacked. The whole production of Veilguard seems to have been a disaster.

Verity Ritchie

Yeah, Halsin with Astarion or Halsin with Shadowheart are some of the few options. But as I understand it, if you romance Astarion, you will only get the romance ending with Astarion, and you only get the Halsin romance ending if you romance him alone. Is that what happened for you?

Sam Asher

I love the way BG3 handles a pacifist run! I also thought I could be morally great by never killing anyone, but the incidental casualties just keep piling up! One mundane example I enjoyed - I saved the tiefling kid from the harpies by giving him Sanctuary, but the harpies followed us back to the grove. The druids saved the day, but not before the harpies took a fatal bite out of Volo 🤣 Who do you think you'll be romancing this time, if anyone?

Olek W.

I enjoyed Taash’s story as an immigrant one, where their nonbinaryness is just a plot device for their relationship with their mother. I feel like older Dragon Age characters like Shale did actually ask interesting questions about gender despite never really ever “coming out” as using they/them pronouns.

Hamokk

I've yet to finish BG3 but I tried to be aggressively transbian in Veilguard.

Verity Ritchie

lol that is a great harpy story! All of my companions were completely neutral to me for the longest time, because I just hadn't achieved anything! I was in act 2, only level 4 or 5, at moonrise, and finally I was like "well I guess I should go sort out the creche". So we went back there and suddenly Lae'zel was interested in me! So one of the most violent, aggressive companions turned out to be the love of my life! lmao! And no one else will have me. They say Gale is way too easy to romance, but I guess he requires at least a little murder...

Verity Ritchie

I do agree there's some potential there with the immigrant story! Although you do have to choose between the two cultures for Taash to pursue which was...weird...

Verity Ritchie

Okay so, in my pacifist playthrough I managed to not throw a single punch or swing, not hurt anyone to any degree, not even undead or summons, for the whole playthrough up until the problem of Ketheric's final battle at the end of act 2! He has to be killed, there's no way around it, as far as I could tell. And having achieved so little, I was only level 5. Playing on tactical mode too! A better player might've been able to give the nightsong loads of buffs so she could do all the damage, but I couldn't manage. So I ended up killing some Absolutists in Moonrise to level up to level 6. It was so sad! I had done so well being pacifist, and it was ruined! How could I go on? So I decided that my pacifist would repent. They became a cleric of the god of martyrdom, perseverance and suffering, Ilmater! This was the correct way to repent and resume a life of peace! It wasn't until we managed to successfully help Shadowheart at the house of grief that I decided it was time to leave religion behind and return to a life of music! I made the whole party into bards so we could spread joy throughout the city! It's marvelous! Oh and I did manage to save Volo in the end! I used Dimension Door to get him out of the way. He then ran...back into the battle. But then I did it again! And finally he was free! So I feel very inspired about returning to the life of a pacifist now!

August

My understanding was that the BG3 companions were also all supposedly pansexual rather than playersexual! Or at least, after the game first came out, I saw a lot of a very particular type of fan online who will get mad at you for saying Astarion is playersexual or bisexual, because he's pan how DARE. which is. simply exhausting. for all of the reasons you discussed so well here

Kseniia

DnD 5e as a system "rewards" you with better ways to kill people. Most levelling-up is about how much more damage you can deal in a fight, so it ended up being ingrained in BG3 as well. If you haven't already, I highly recommend checking out A Court of Fey and Flowers on Dropout. It's a DnD campaign run by Aabria Iyengar who tries to minimise battles and focus on social mechanics. Plus it's fun and very queer, regency-esque horny fae 😁

Kseniia

Have you tried playing with the polyamory mod?

Olek W.

Yeah the implications there are weird. Another victim of game mechanics I suppose, since each companion seemingly had to have a big meaningful choice between two options at the end of their story.

The_Fox Narrator

Since playing through both Bg3 and veilgaurd, I really want a fantasy rpg to play more with making non-hetro societies and communities. Nether of these games have / show non hetro communities despite both having hetro societies as the default (and homophobia existing in DAs case). It feels strange to me that queer people exist in these games but we don’t see them try to form communities. Veilgaurd implies that they exist but we never see them. (Also DA universes homophobia is so weird. Most of it is interpersonal with no systematic backing except tevinter. It doesn’t seem to be rooted in anything. Dorian’s story is the only example where it makes sense)

Ruxandra Grecu

it's amazing, isn't it, how deeply ingrained this whole nuclear family / non-monogamy bullshit is in our stories, and it's not even that old as a concept?! at scifi book club, one of the first things I criticize in a future world is if the family structures are identical. I would be totally fine, actually, if there were characters in a game that I fancied and couldn't romance. Anyway, I'm still waking up and have to run to work so probably not the best time to comment on my thoughts about the video! but great work :D PS: I just read Abolish the Family by Sophie Lewis and it was really great, I very recommend.

Ivell Scarlet

I think Dragon Age: Inquisition handled romance the best. They had gay, straight, and bisexual companions. No matter how pretty your female character was, Dorian and Cassandra wouldn’t be interested in her. Likewise, Sera and Blackwall wouldn’t be into a male character. So I was wondering why Veilguard took a step down. My theory is that the developers weren’t sure how to handle trans and nonbinary player characters. Would Sera date a nonbinary person? Would Dorian? Would it depend on whether the player character presents as masc or femme? What about an androgynous character? Baldur’s Gate 3 includes a genital selection feature, so one would assume the romance options would have preferences based on that too. I think that’s a minefield the developers didn’t dare to navigate. And honestly,I wouldn’t know how to handle it either. Making all characters pansexual/playersexual is just the safer option. Still, compared to Inquisition, both Baldur’s Gate 3 and Veilguard feel like a step backward.

Fifi Mar

Well, I like the concept that if the player doesn't romance some of the characters, they pursue each other. That would've been fun to see in bg3. I am romancing Shadowheart and Halsin, but I didn't enjoy turning down Karlach and also found it unrealistic to the point of immersion-breaking that she doesn't pursue anyone else after the player turns her down. She is extremely thirsty for physical contact of any kind! You can't tell me she would swear celibacy if she can't be with the player, someone she just met a few weeks ago. I also did not like that there was no option to give Karlach a hug platonically. I merely touched her shoulder and she took it romantically. Apparently hugging is strictly romantic in the world of bg3.

Nadi

This video made me realise BG3 is definitely not for me. Well, neither is Dragon Age, but my point is this explains why everyone only talks about romancing NPCs on Baldur's Gate. It's a dnd dating sim. I'm too ace for that. Games with on-screen sex never really interested me, but I wanted to give it a go for the setting. The only dating sim I play is Monster Prom bc it's batshit. I'd like to see you review it. Everyone in that series is a bisexual monster and there's a transfemme and a non-binary character. I'm far from sex repulsed, ofc, or I wouldn't play that either, but ig my kind of wish fulfillment in games is more like being a cute Sanrio character and befriending the preexisting ones.

Ness Medeiros

just don't romance anyone then, the game itself is more than complete without the romance aspect... lol.

Nadi

It's deeper than that. I've seen many complaints online that you can't just be platonic with the NPCs because they're too horny.

Verity Ritchie

Interesting @Nadi! I mean in my pacifist playthrough everyone fucking hated me, so I had no trouble avoiding the horniness there! And once you turn companions down, the romance stuff just stops. There are also options to censor nudity and sex scenes, so I do think it is possible to make it a pretty non-sexual game, you might just have to reject some advances, but that shouldn't stop any companion quests. But also there's one companion who can't have sex anyway, so that's not much of an issue. It depends who you romance. TBH I found Veilguard worse in that respect because while BG3 gives you many chances to reject sexual advances before a sex scene starts, Veilguard gives you no chance to opt out.

Alaiksandreis

Hi Verity! I loved your video! I wanted to reach out to ask if you might be interested in analyzing trans representation in The Last of Us Part 2. As a transfem gamer, I absolutely loved the game, and I’m really curious to hear if you have any thoughts or insights on how it handles trans representation. Thanks so much for all the amazing content you create, and I really appreciate all the thought and effort you put into your work! love, Alexia

big bird

although I can appreciate some quality wish fulfillment, I do think that having individuals who can reject players (not just romantically, and not just for orientation compatibility reasons) makes for a more textured world. disco elysium used to have some fully impossible checks with kim (overcoming his authority eyebrow, convincing him to wear the Jacket) that felt like boundaries a real person might have. I was actually kind of sad when I passed one of those checks in the final cut version, like he was a little less himself than before. granted, he still has other boundaries in this version, and I'd never have noticed if I'd never played the other version, but that that negative space was worth Something, and that the introduction of "more content" was a tradeoff rather than a pure upgrade. I think any world that is built with queer inclusivity in mind has to either remove itself somewhat from reality (contextless free gendersex utopia), or properly grapple with how gender and sexuality fit into the society they're creating instead of haphazardly slapping our current frameworks/terminology into their universe.

Alice Ruppert

Loved this video!!! It's also completely eradicated any last shreds of interest I might have had in playing Veilguard though 🙈

Nadi

I can imagine they did lol. Good to know. I might give it a go with my wife sometime, she loves that game. And yes, it's definitely an issue not being able to opt out. What were they thinking?