What a day it's been. (Patreon)

When I made that video, I had the biggest pit in my stomach. I spent the whole day after I uploaded it with my brain screaming at me "you can't do this. They'll think you're ungrateful. You can't do this. They'll think you're begging. You can't do this. You don't deserve this." I came this close to deleting it. I was already stressed out about finding work - I felt like I was bringing unnecessary stress on myself. 

If you'd told me at that point that 24 hours later I'd have met the goal, been able to call this my job and have so many people pouring their hearts out to me about how much the videos meant to them, I'd have laughed in your face. At BEST I expected there to be a slow bump as more people became aware of the situation. I could NEVER have expected this. 

The money is amazing, for sure, but it ain't about that for me. I got genuinely emotional reading through every supportive message telling me that my videos had gotten them through hard times, realising how many genuine friends I've made in my time doing this, etc. It's about you. It's about PEOPLE. 

It's been about people at every stage. I wasn't kidding when I said in that video that the mindset of the older videos went away. My reaction to 60000 subs was the same as it was to 1000 as it was to 10 subs. I may not be able to respond to every single comment in the same way I used to, but I read them all and they all mean so much to me. 

First and foremost, I view what I'm doing as a way to connect with people through the medium of games; to tell stories that get to a deeper truth about why we play. I believe that's what almost all critique of art should be striving for on some level; even if it sounds academic at times, it should be striving to tell you as much about yourself as the art itself. Judging by the way people have reacted to the videos, I've been at least somewhat successful in that endeavour so far.

And now, thanks to your immensely generous support, I can explore that even further. I can experiment with new formats, more long-form content, more series retrospectives that I wouldn't be able to achieve in a bigger organisation concerned only with ad revenue, views and churning out content as fast as possible.

I've thought about guaranteeing more frequent videos but honestly, I don't want to make guarantees that could result in quantity over quality. I'd rather spend that time researching and making the videos as good as they possibly can be. That said, now I'm not as pressured in terms of finding other work, there's at least the possibility of more videos a month. Rest assured though, there will always be at least two and you will only ever be charged for two a month. I hope you understand where I'm coming from with this.

I've added some more goals as well so there's something to work towards, even if I don't believe we'll hit them (I said that about the last goal but hey, my approach has always been that low expectations mean that meeting them feels all the more special). 

On the off-chance we do, however, I'll have a hangout stream at least once a week, and at the next goal I'll have you guys vote on a game or series for me to make a video on every few months. If you guys have any suggestions for types of content you'd like to see in the interim though, I'm always happy to listen. I'm also toying with the possibility of starting a Discord server for now - is that something you'd be interested in?

Ultimately, there's a lot going on. Words cannot express how grateful I am to every single one of you, whether you've just jumped on now or have supported me from the beginning. Since I started the Patreon, your support has allowed me to keep doing this, honing my skills. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. I'm more invigorated than ever and I can't wait to show you what I have in store. Here's to going even bigger!

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to get in touch and I'll try and respond ASAP.

Thank you so, so much once again. You've made me so happy.

Hamish

Writing on Games