The Marshmallow Ranch Gazette (Patreon)

Volume 4, Issue 2 -- Tuesday, January 29th, 2019

Howdy, patrons!

This month didn't go down the way I thought it would AT ALL. I was looking good for a second out there, and then a spell of depression hit out of nowhere and sent me reeling through the rest of January. There was the blip of Further Confusion in the middle of it, and that was a true highlight, but man... not the way I wanted to ring in 2019. 

I did learn a lot about myself through it, though, so there's that. I can be incredibly thin-skinned when I'm depressed, and a lot of the things I just try to bear through become sticking points that I can no longer cope with. Being in a state of mind where you know you can't trust your own brain is hardly the time to start bringing this up, so I'm going to really work on being more communicative with my support network to let them know where my head's at. That means I'll have to stick up for myself a bit more, let fewer things slide, and ask for the things I need to take care of myself. That's...easier said than done for me.

Writing has stalled because of this, so now I'm trying to play catch up with a few evenings dedicated to various projects. That almost never works out as intended, though; the demands of work and keeping up the burrow seem to encroach on my time no matter how much I try to wall it off. It's a bit of a balancing act; I want to be available to help people when they ask for it, but I also want to be able to have time that's just mine. It's hard enough trying to be creative, and some days it just feels like whenever I clear barriers so I can focus three or four more rise up to stop me.

Ah well, it's a process. I'm hoping that I'll have this figured out soon if I keep plugging away at it. Maybe it won't get any easier, but I'll get better at dealing with things.

I'll do my best to have one more chapter of Crushing The Competition done this week; if I can manage it, the next episode will be up on Thursday. If I can't quite get it written in time, I'll see if I can use the slipped deadline to start working on the elusive buffer that might give me a bit of breathing room and you fine folks some semblance of regularity. Fingers crossed!

That's all for now, patrons. See you 'round the ranch!

• Jakebe