The Marshmallow Ranch Gazette (Patreon)

Volume 4, Issue 15 -- Tuesday, August 20th, 2019

Howdy, patrons!

I haven't talked much about my ADHD and how it affects my creative process (or lack thereof, more accurately), so I wanted to take a moment to speak on that. But first, good news! I have a day job again!!

It's in customer support, but more business-to-business than anything. It's with a MOOC (massive open online course) company, and it comes with free usage of the product -- so I can buff up my technical skills while working there! I'm pretty excited for the opportunity, and happy with the possibility of career advancement in the near- and long-term. I start next Monday, so this week is essentially a 'victory lap'. I'm doing my best to get back into a decent sleep schedule, and really putting effort into the everyday habits I'd like to cultivate. But also ALSO, I'm enjoying the ability to smoke again….

I found out I got the job last Thursday, which made the weekend a big celebration -- that's why episode 21 of "Crushing The Competition" wasn't up then. Sorry about that! However, I'm pleased to say that you'll be able to see it this Thursday, and I'm already working on next week's installment just to make sure it's ready to go. I hit a brief block on it this month because I wanted to find ways to address the flaws in it without...rebooting it. It got a little difficult to do that mostly because I got up in my own feelings too much. You know how it goes; you read books and articles, you watch YouTube videos, you listen to podcasts, and all of a sudden your complete lack of ability just hits you square in the face all at once. 

This year I've been putting in a concerted effort to be more consistent with the things that are important to me, like reading, writing, meditation, and exercise. It's been a process, and I've been making progress with it. But man, ADHD is a bitch to work through here. It's so easy to get distracted by something more immediately interesting and less anxiety-inducing, and before I know it I've killed way too much time. It's hard to schedule a half-hour chunk to something, sit down at the appointed time, and then actually do the thing you scheduled time to do. 

A big problem is that the willpower generally used to push through that resistance tends to get used up at the day job, so in the evenings it's that much harder (read: impossible!) to sit down and write. At least, for producing anything that feels fun or that I'm reasonably happy with. I thought that I could use the time while I wasn't working to devote my willpower towards making a writing habit stick.

In the two months I've been unemployed, I can definitely say that progress has been made. I'm still nowhere near as consistent or productive as I would have liked, but I feel like the foundation is being laid at long last. The big test, however, comes next week. Suddenly I'll have a lot less free time to rest and recuperate, and less willpower to use for working through my shit. I'm still aiming to keep up the momentum I've built over the last two months, but it might take a minute to rediscover my equilibrium.

Right now I'm simultaneously trying to be more productive and make sure I don't take on too much if I can help it. I'm still working on "Boundaries" and an as-yet-unnamed superhero serial, but a lot of that is too early to show. I've also agreed to work on a couple of other projects that I *really* should get a move on, so there's that.

Anyway, the next episode of "Crushing The Competition" will be up on Thursday; Captains Crunch and Lucky Charms will be getting more information about "Boundaries" and (most likely) snippets of other stories in the weeks to come. Until then, patrons -- take care of each other!