The Marshmallow Ranch Gazette (Patreon)

Volume 5, Issue 2 -- Thursday, January 9th, 2020

Howdy, patrons!

I hope all of you have had a great start to the New Year! There have already been a few bumps here at the Burrow, but that's to be expected. Have you looked outside the window recently? It feels like half the world's on fire! It's no wonder that not everything would be running smoothly here, either. 

Still, progress is being made. The first episode of "Crushing The Competition" is coming up tomorrow! Whoo! I already feel like Ralph has a mind of his own, and that his voice is coming through loud and clear. It's pretty cool to feel him yanking at the leash to move the story forward, though there's the ever-present fear that he'll take it in unexpected directions. I know it sounds a little...strange to say it, but when a story really feels like it's working I barely have to think about what's happening when. It's almost like I'm...channeling something, looking into another world and just writing down what I see.

One of the things that surprising me as I work through outlining and character discovery is how a lot of my protagonists seem to be visibly frustrated, even angry, about their lot in life. The impetus for action is that something's got to give or else their dissatisfaction will poison them. I think it says something about me that my main characters seem to be starting out in a negative stasis, where the way things are simply chafes them to the point they've got to find some relief. This feels like an outlet for a few frustrations that I can't really get out any other way. 

The strangest thing is that I feel like I'm in a relatively good place. I just love my day job and the people I work with. I'm in a happy, stable, long-term relationship. I have a wonderful group of friends, allies, and contemporaries. What frustrates me is my own inclination towards self-sabotage; I know what's important to me and the kind of life I'd like to lead, but far too often immediate gratification wins out over putting in the effort towards that more distant reward. While I understand there are reasons why I struggle the way I do, it's frustrating that it feels like I have to work so hard to maintain a baseline of adulthood that others don't seem to have a problem with. This might be a lack of perspective on my part. Adulting is fucking hard, never more so than now. We're all struggling to build lives that we can be happy with. It's the same everywhere.

So maybe the frustration of Ralph and the rest of my protagonists is an attempt to plug in to the frustration felt by my entire generation. It feels like we're forced to suffer so many small indignities by a system that takes our work to enrich some jerk who just wants to tank businesses on purpose so he can take the money and run. Who wouldn't be frustrated in that scenario?

I'm working hard on episode 2 already; with luck, it'll be scheduled well before Further Confusion starts next week. I'll be attending the convention, of course! You can find me at the Sofawolf or FurPlanet table, or hosting one of two writing panels: "Serializing Fiction", and "Politics and Social Justice in Furry Fiction". If you're attending, look for the chubby black guy with the jackalope badges!

That's all for now, folks. See you 'round the ranch!

-Jakebe