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The Cult of Maximus, Part 2 - Morning Rounds (Patreon)

Published:
2016-01-21 15:34:01
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Just a bit later than promised, but here it is -- part two of THE CULT OF MAXIMUS. I'm still on track to have part three up by Saturday; we'll resume our normal schedule next week, with part four dropping sometime next Wednesday, 1/28. 

Again, let me know if you'd rather have these parts in a different format, and thanks for being so patient with me!

Comments

Piper Malone

Its a good story so far. I liked chapter one setting the scene of their patrol and part two does an interesting job of doing the police office. I'm curious about Spike's character and I think you did a good job setting him up as a foil. Tom, our dear protagonist remains a character I can identify with as I like that h isn't as into making waves or causing problems and isn't really a fan of socialization. Which makes his playing off against Jerry solid. I do like that this bit sets up the mystery of the elderly disappearing and that opens several avenues of interesting ideas based on the title. With sixty folks missing and no task force set up its also a bit of an indictment against this city "on rise and rebirth" for ignoring the elderly. Then again perhaps that is your point as the youthful members rush headlong into the future and rebuilding and forgetting. Reminds me of a few episodes of Kolchak in some ways. Tom's narrative thrust clearly has a few blinders on the city and I'm almost of the opinion he repeats a few ideas in hi head as a mantra to avoid thinking about the seedier bits. Also maybe I missed it but graveyard, shops, elder care facilities and maybe some residential but with a few of those any clinics or hospitals? Overall I do like it. There are a few paragraphs that feel more like information dumps and details that I think could be better revealed in dialog or interactions. Spike's intro has some sentences that are better covered in the conversation with Tom. That said for a five page story, with only a few bits I have problems with, this does a good job of furthering the setting and the characters and keeping me interested enough to want to read part 3