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These Dilemmas Got Dark | Episode 48 | Log Cabin (Patreon)

Published:
2024-12-07 15:00:09
Edited:
2025-02-22 10:50:54
Imported:
2026-06

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Comments

Auntie Mo

I just want Fuhad to know that Nettie Pots are so helpful. At least tw times a week in the morning.

EE

DA per Ellie's dilemma...... Women have done this shit since the beginning of time only to get fucked over by men who date others. And when the woman says something a long the lines of 'I thought you were my BF' he's like 'Nah....' Granted this is all relationship stuff. It's good to hear from men that were not crazy. I think Ellie might be protecting her heart by just calling him FWB so she doesn't get hurt when /ifhe says 'it is what it is' and bounces

Stephanie Powell

Fuhad looks incredible in those glasses.....damn 🥰😍😍😍😜❤️👌

God's Child

I'm not worried about the 16 year old. The saying is that by the age of 7 - children have already formed a habit, behaviour etc. 🤔 He witnessed the dad's behaviour for about 11 years of his life and maybe he does not like that space. The 16 year old can decide. Plus mum can give him money to come back home, if whilst at his dad's he feels the atmosphere is not healthy and he wants to return home. Or mum can go pick him up. The good thing is that the son has NOT adopted his dad's short fuse/temper. We thank tge Lord for that!🙌 My next door neighbour has had to call the Police several times on our neighbour who lives beneath her because he beats the crap out of her. We live in maisonettes. The neighbour beneath her is strong, big and massive and the wife is a tiny little thing! Very pretty. They are in their 30s - or the wife is in her mid or late 20s 😢 Every time you see her - her head is bowed down, locked in, pushing the buggy and she is COVERED from head to toe (even in the Summer Heat). Probably hiding bruises. Her son is about 18 months And her first son around 6 years old. The 6 year old is the sweetest little boy. Very polite.🤗 Some months ago, I looked out of the window and I saw the little boy, pick up a daisy 🌻from their garden lawn and give it to the wife of a couple who was visiting them. My prayer is that both boys do not grow up to become like their dad or think beating a woman is acceptable.😢 Their dad looks strong. That man has muscles on him and tall. Some men would be scared to face him, and challenge him - he is strong and looks strong - let alone a weaker woman who lacks that sort of strength. Then imagine him putting his hands on her and hitting her to kingdom come! 😱 When you see him in his BMW and shades😎 - he looks like a catch. Very good looking handsome young man as well. He is FOINNEEE! It's not always about looks. Even though for most women - that is the first thing we look at. Women need to star basing marriage on character! To be fair, he is always polite to me - I guess I am an older woman. So may be he respects his elders but God help you if you are his wife! HORROR😱😱😱😱 If I worry about anyone - it is those kids at those young ages - GOD FORBID - learning that behaviour from their dad and thinking - it is so okay to push a woman around and beat the cr@p out of her.😱😱 Yet when you meet him (my neighbour that is), the man - he is so polite and nice but indoors is a monster. 😱 They are not British but from Eastern Europe and no one knows what the culture is like for women out there and the wife barely says much. Because some cultures believe women are possessions to be treated any how, because they are owned. Like property and have no voice. Reminds me of the time of Slavery 😒 His wife looks so timid is such a sweet heart when you speak to her and looks terrified. I commended the little boy weeks later when I saw him - for being a lovely gentleman for giving the lady the flower. For now my neighbour (the Police Alerter) - refuses to speak to the man. Plus she said - he knows - she is like a guard - In that if he ever he touches his woman - she is on the phone to the Police. 🚔 Our BRITISH METROPOLITAN POLICE 🚔are one of the best, if not the best in the world and I don't think their frequent trips to this couple - means they are abandoning or neglecting her. I suspect they must have secretly (or openly) offered her an escape route - a safe place for Abused women undergoing DV. She probably is too scared to take it. She probably is alone here in Britain (with no family) and he is the sole bread winner, because she is a house wife and so relies on him completely for herself and her kids. Plus she'll probably say - she loves him😢 I know some Cultures, where wives would rather stay in an abused marriage than admit they are in a bad marriage. 😢 For now - my neighbour, who is married herself, serves as a Gate Keeper - as in - anytime she hears him abusing her, she is on the phone to the Police and they come immediately. 🚔 Hopefully that serves as a deterrence. We pray one day, sooner, rather than later - this abused victim does go to a 'Safe House' - Let's just pray he doesn't do deadly harm to her before then. I don't understand why some men under estimate how strong they are. We have some strong women but they are the exception!😒 This wife beater is a Self emplyed. A Business man and he told me recently the Business was not doing too well, he said Covid had impacted his business badly. So he may be taking his frustrations out on his beautiful wife. It's no excuse though. 🙄 Also a lot of married men are unaware of this FRIGHTENING Scripture in the Bible that God has rendered to me because some are so controlling and focus on "women submit to your husbands, but conventiently ignore the rest of that Scripture that says - LIKE CHRIST. They forget Christ died and laid His life down for His Bride! 👰‍♀(The Church). Many HUSBANDS are unaware of this little Scripture tucked away in the Bible that warns men about how to treat their wives. So maybe when men start treating their wives well - things will start flowing better and they just might stop struggling. The following warning in Scripture ONLY applies to wives not girlfriends, partners etc: "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, AND TREAT THEM WITH RESPECT as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that NOTHING WILL HINDER your prayers". (1 Peter 3:7)🙏 So some married men are unaware that the abysmal way they treat their wives will result in God not answering their prayers! Yikes!🙆‍♂️ So if you are a Married Christian Man and you are wondering why your prayers are not going past the ceiling. You may want to ask your wife about your treatment of her or self check👍 Back to this dilemma: The 16 year old does not need that none physical short fuse behaviour around him. He can decide. Mum need not worry. Lack of physical abuse is just as bad as mental and psychological abuse -(if not worse as that trauma can last for years. So does physical abuse. Neither is pleasant😭😢😭) - because you may not suffer a broken bone (which will heal in due course) - but people have to walk around the dad in fear - as if on egg shells - so as he does not blow his gasket!! That is just not healthy! Jumping every minute every time you hear his voice; always wondering whether what you say or do next will set him off. Yikes!😱 Dad loves his son - yes - but he needs to put his behaviour on check if he wants those who love him around him!🤗

Lindsey Holmes

Fuhad should always wear those. Wow 😍😍😍

Aimes 486

I'm jealous it's hot here in Australia

Jayla Nichole

Fudaddy looks like a young jolly black Santa 🎅🏿

Demi

Shout out to the editor for mentioning that disclaimer about being squeamish about blowing noses. Im not personally bothered by it but I know how it feels to feel uneasy about seeing something in a video with no warning. So props to you.

Peter B Parker

As an infection control Nurse that stuff at the start about vents isn’t really an issue. The reason we get sick in winter is because we group together in doors so we mix much more indoors than in summer where we are usually outdoors with fresh air. Also our noses run due to the cold weather (protects the mucosa) and as we touch surfaces in doors we contaminate ourselves much more easily as virus get trapped in the mucus.

Lilly 🌻

Great episode👏🏾👏🏾 SNG you’ll just showing off now!! Production quality is up, daddies look great, Justin addition for the win. Worth every penny, love it 🥰

Alicia Barrie

Fuhad wearig Rems merch is adorable 😍😍😍😍

Vondawithan_a

Me and my two brothers have different dads same mom, all 5 years apart. On my dad's side I have two brothers and a sister and only two of them have the same mom

Jessica McClay

Fuhad… in glasses… excuse me, I need to go change 🫠

Alicia Barrie

Nah. Alive mom was an asshole so no need to go and grieve her. If you don't wanna be there, don't be ❤️❤️❤️

Alicia Barrie

Me and my ex lived 3 hours away and we still did the drive so he could see our daughter. If you don't want your son to turn out like his father, don't let him go live there. Anger issues can be learned - no thanks.

AJ

Justin has that moneymaking reality show narrator voice

Kristi

Fuhad looks like I need to be taught a lesson 🤓🤪

Ari

Lmaoooo dilemma #2

Carlwana

This felt like a therapy session 🤣 log cabin therapy addition I see, but still a very good one 👍🏾 per usual.

Carlwana

The 1st dilemma the daughter was definitely not an asshole. Sometime you just have to say God bless the dead and keep it pushing. If I didn’t get along with you or had a terrible relationship with you while you where alive, ima keep that same energy for when your not here. It’s okay to chuck things up as a “it is what it is”. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Simran Binner

You get sick in the winter because the cold damages the protective tissues in your nose / throat. Those tissue would typically keep all bacteria/viruses out, keeping u from getting the flu. When u keep breathing in cold air etc u damage the tissue, which means it’s too messed up to keep the viruses/bacteria from getting into your system. So the cold itself is not making u sick, but it sets u up for failure when u don’t protect yourself from the cold properly.

Raven Tatum

Is it just me or is fuhad SEXXXXXYYYYYY with glasses on!

J.

I can't say that the daughter is the arsehole as she has her reasons, but James made a very valid point. Siblings are ALWAYS asked about the absence of other siblings. It's long.

Abigail Nadia Nicolas

Psych research actually show that children stop listening to their parents as early as 12/13 y/o. So sending him over to his father does literally nothing. Have a conversation with your son and see if he actually cares to go. The worst thing you can do to a teenager is dictate their life without their consent. Their frontal cortex views themselves as grown adults already, even though we all know they’re not.

Fawad

Fuhad: Your Cold is *very* common in minorities in UK, we are genetically evolved in different climate than Europe and our immunity (due to not drinking enough water in European winters) goes down pretty badly, solution is to drink water-as-medicine in winter, one glass per hour, to keep seasonal diseases away. Get well soon bro.

Nessa V

Literally the congratulations at the end had me laughing 😂 you have a man

Giovanni Soto

Love that Fuhad wearing rems merch!

God's Child

Guys! Thank you for recommending "The Fall" OMG! I have been binging it and I shall definitely spread the word. Wow! Amazing!!👏👏👏🤗🤗❤️😱👏👏

Olivia Eleam

All these dilemmas episodes were getting and we still haven't got the Q&A from August.

Malik Porter

I’m 26 bout to be 27 I’m the oldest of 6 and one on the way and we all have a different dad or different mom

God's Child

URGENT. FOR THE ATTENTION OF JAMES AND FUHAD: Whilst in Australia and New Zealand ( or anywhere else for that matter) - please just STAY CELIBATE! Some of us have done it for 3 decades for religious reasons (to honour God) - and if I could cope with that - with God's grace - you can jolly well stay celibate for the few number of days you are there on Tour and do not give in to any temptations! PLEASE!🤗 We want you back home, safe and sound. Many of us cannot afford to go visit you in an Australian Jail. Nor do we want to. Nor any other country's jail for that matter😢 Put your egos in check! You are handsome men and will ALWAYS be wanted! You don't have to give in, whilst in Australia, New Zealand or anywhere else! Call me paranoid- I don't trust anybody - least of all - 'Honey pots'. Especially since the last few weeks have shown us that some on the Internet (including some jealous Podcasters) want to SADLY see the back of SNG!😢😭 Many of us are praying for poor Young Filly stuck in Australia. He has to spend his Christmas and New Year - away from home and his loved ones - because of one alleged misbehaviour or WORSE STILL - Sexual Crime. If found guilty he will be stuck in jail for YEARS to come either in Australia or brought back home to serve his time here in Britain!😱 Even if he is not found guilty his beautiful career has been trashed and he will forever have that stigma following him!😱 No matter how people try to convince him it won't follow him. We are dealing with humans here not inanimate objects.😟 We have seen what happened to celebrities here in Britain who had that stigma - they NEVER recovered. You may be too young to remember but those of us old enough remember that Star from ITV. The accusation of sexual assault- was allegedly a false accusation - according to him and his partner - but where is he today?! I read an interview he did a few years ago and the poor man was upset that his career ended and sponsors withdrew and would not touch him with a badge pole. But most of all his reputation was in tatters and he regretted how much his family and friends suffered as a result. Especially his poor wife who stuck by him!🥹 Those of us who love you - (SNG), went through Hell when the Internet turned against you because of that Andrew - Palaver! I have never prayed so hard for SNG in my life to remain uncancelled - like I did those weeks AND STILL DO! Britain is not America where you have celebrities of colour - two a penny - who have made it and have broken that ceiling (without being Sports Stars). So the success of your career matters a LOT to us. Plus we cannot afford to have that young man - Ellis's name- tainted as well by association. Many racists jealous of that relationship - will have a LOT to say about THAT!🙄 I don't care what any body says. I am speaking as a Nigerian British Aunty - begging you to behave. Fuhad knows what that means - we obey our elders! AM I BEING MANIPULATIVE by using the "obey your elders" stuff. Sure I am. If that does not work - I'll put the fear of God in you - if need be. Anything to just make sure you PLEASE LISTEN to this voice and the quiet ones - tentative and scared about this Tour and any other Tour. 😒Still be your lovely selves though🤗 Whether you realise it or not - you guys are an enigma. You are unique! You broke EVERY Ceiling! I hope you appreciate that and not let us down! That "Andrew" thing was an eye opener - I was naïve enough to think that everyone LOVED SNG, the way I do and your avid fans do. Only for me to see REAL EVIL on display. Jealousy from fellow Podcasters coming to the fore. So many others just wanting you to fail. It was SHOCKING. It went beyond men laughing at black women. It was scary. I don't know why I read or listened to those comments and Podcasts! YIKES!😱 I spent so many precious hours defending you on line - people would have thought you were my kids. It's because not only do I love all of you but I am determined that through Prayers - that you expand, continue to grow in success and you remain protected. Amen. 🙏 Hopefully one day - the way David Beckham is studied at University- SNG will be studied at Universities as an enigma and success story not only as Brits but SPECIFICALLY as Brits of colour that broke through the ceiling in our beautiful Nation that is multi cultural with people that get on well but get suffocated by systemic and institutional Racism that tries to ensure success remains within the bracket of the elite in this society, except when it comes to Sports or the Music industry. I speak from experience and I am not the ONLY Black professional in THIS Country who has been frustrated out of our Professional Careers because of systemic racism. It happened just over 3 decades ago and I have forgiven the cruel and racist system. But many like me suffered and had to give up our Professions and follow other Careers. Now you understand why I have a PASSION for the younger ones coming up to succeed in a Britain that has less racism in the neighbourhood and community, but still has a systemic racism that exists and blights our Nation!🤔 Otherwise why is it that EVEN TODAY, our brilliant Black Actors and Actresses had to be RECOGNISED FIRST by Hollywood- only then did Britain appreciate them as home grown talents! E.g. Idris Alba and so many others! You are much younger and in a society where things are a little more relaxed but don't be deceived- after seeing how the Internet reacted during that blip a few weeks ago - some are just waiting for you to (GOD FORBID) - Fall.🥺 What makes Young Filly's experience more frightening is that people have gone on line to say the lady who accused him, allegedly had a reputation of sourcing out successful men and accusing them.🤔 As a qualified lawyer myself I know not to speak about Filly's case because I know nothing about it. However what I do know is PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE KEEP IT🍆 IN YOUR PANTS and keep your hands off during your Tour. It will not kill you. But for the grace of God. Who only knows genuine fans who wish you no harm and diabolical evil people out to destroy this amazing success story - by any means possible Lastly we have seen you have a lot of people (Staff) in your Organisation - relying on you to help pay their Monthly Bills - so please be responsible! - I don't care if you block me - But I will say it again - put your egos in check and your whatnots in place 🩲 I will also stress that - Show Business is an unpredictable Career. Appreciate what you have and for God's sake - SAVE AND INVEST! Please do not allow my prayers for you guys to be in vain. I love you so much!💖 Finally those of us in so called secure jobs know better. Especially in these times of Britain's high cost of living! Until recently (October 2024 to be precise), I worked for a Local Authority and held an excellent high Managerial Position - which in other words is Very High - when you compare the equivalent within the Private Sector. Councils, may not pay as high as some within a Private Sector but the prestige carries a lot of weight. I am in my 60s and was working towards my pension. Well today - since October 2024 - I've been unemployed. WHY? Because my Local Authority/ Council was broke and had no money. Very typical now of what is happening in the Country with Local Authorities up and down the Country. Now Central Government has instructed Local Governments to save money. To save money - my Local Government decided to do a restructure in our Team. 6 Management Positions were deleted. They made all of us Managers REDUNDANT! There - went the so called "secure" job! I held one of those 'Secure Positions'. The Restructure did not END there. They completely dismantled our entire Team - got some staff they could to join another Team and gave them new Titles! Each day - the Government says it has no money. THAT is the reality of the Britain we live in today! So I shared that to say - even with the chance of you guys reverting back to earning Salaries (God forbid - may that not happen to you, because I want your Business to expand exponentially) - the so called 'secure' roles out there - like working for the Council - is NO LONGER secure or guaranteed in Today's Britain. All 6 of us Managers and one One Officer (were made redundant). We were shocked - even dismantling a Team - that is key in an area the community desperately needs - did not stop the deleting of all these Roles in the need to save money! So PLEASE don't lose what you have because of 2 minutes of pleasure or whatever the situation Young Filly has allegedly, now found himself - if indeed his accuser - allegedly set out to trap him sexually!😳 So even if you feel you have made enough money for your generations to come - (AMEN) - I thank God for you and ask that the Lord bless you even more - but it is not just about that - It about the fact that Britain needs your Team, to keep going- whether you like it or not. You are a Success Story for people of colour in Britain! Those of us older than all of you - know the struggles we faced - to get people of colour to where we are today. WE ARE NOT AMERICA - That is more favourable to people of colour!!!! I will say it again - you are an enigma - you are unique and you have done us Brits - of all colours - EXTREMELY PROUD! I don't swear. I never swear but for once in my life I will do so now and say - Please do NOT F#ck this up during your trip to Australia and New Zealand or any other Countries. 😟🥹 Many of us who love you, have our different reasons for why we want you to PLEASE STAY successful!👏👍 All the best in Australia and New Zealand. I will tell you right now - I am scared of your Trip. But I shall trust you and PLEASE DO YOUR HOME WORK - Do not go attending some Podcast like Andrew's etc - I for one - cannot go through the Hell I went through a few weeks ago. I can't take it. I had not realised how much I loved you guys, until I realised I had taken people's abuse of you - Personally! I was Praying and defending you on line. Praying and defending on you on line. Even now I am still praying for your protection and for your growth and success.🙏🙏 God bless and protect you & yours and your entire Team. Edit: I know James and Fuhad say they don't read comments. I don't know how to DM them. So I would be grateful if someone within the SNG Team, copies and pastes this and shows it to them. Thank you. By the way, I will not be replying to any negative comments or nay sayers here. I have said my piece and if you love these guys as you claim you do - none of you will want to go through the last few weeks of pure hate levelled against these young men again. Worse still - none of us want them to go through a "Young Filly" experience. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Apologies for any typographical and grammatical errors 💖🕊🇬🇧🇳🇬👍🙏✝️🫶

Phil Martin

We have a higher likelihood of getting sick in the winter due to cold temperatures causing a decrease in the strength of our immune system if your exposed to the cold for too long

Megan Melissa

Personal anecdote: My mom passed June 2022 and none of her siblings came to the funeral as they did not get along with my mother but I had good relations with some. Funerals are for the living not for the people who died. I would have liked to have the extra support during the day.

Kimberley Stuart-Larrow

I live in The Bahamas and we get more colds here when the temp. drops so I don't know if I agree with James 🫤

Keni Jefferson

I don't think she's an ass hole for not going to the funeral. I had a strained relationship with my mother as well, and we didn't speak for more than 10 years. When she died I didn't cry because I mourned her loss years before. I didn't have to decide if I would go to the funeral because she died at the start of covid, so there wasn't a funeral, but had there been one I would not have gone. You have to protect your feelings.

MiniPastelitoHarshira

I regret going to both of my grandparents funerals. Wish I would have stayed home. It took me a while to realize such a big deal made about me "having to be there" and paying for my airfare was a way of covering up my truth about the both of them. They could hide anything and no one would question anything if I was there. Fuck the both of them. May they rot in Hell and I should have kept my weekends to myself.

Johnna Brown

I think you guys missed the part when she said the new couple only needed the room for one month whereas G one and her husband wanted to stay there a long term… I don’t think she was wrong at all

AndyGPandy

Hey just joined yesterday, where can we send in the Am I the arsehole’s and dilemmas?

bob berry

As someone who was both verbal and physical abuse as a kid verbal abuse is worst. Plus verbal become physical around teenage years because they older they start fighting back. Before you could yell and they would do what you want now when you yell they yell back it make them more angry which often lead to physical abuse.

Kevin

"Sitting there with a face like a smacked ass" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 The phrasing of you guys always gets me.

Nisha B

James is one of those people who can’t help but laugh in awkward situations (I’m one of those people too 😅)

Keadian Anderson

Yo 3hrs is nothing, I used to ride my 125cc motorbike to see my kids. 2hrs 45mins on a cold rainy day in the UK IS NO JOKE. Gotta see my kids though boy!

Leoni-Jordan

Hey, can anyone tell me how to send in a dilemma please. Your girl needs HELP! 😂

Tiffany Foster

James and Fuhad saying 3 baby daddies is mad…I have 5 brothers, between us we have 2 mums and 4 dads😂 I have ONE full blood brother, one brother who shares a dad and different mum. And 3 brothers with different dads😂 it’s WILD!!

Mollie ✌️

The 3rd story was sad! I agree she did the right thing and if anyone asks her why she didn’t go and see her as the bad guy I’d just tell them the truth. Obviously it wouldn’t have been the right thing to tell the truth on the day of the funeral but after, yeah if anyone asks I’d tell them. I’ve lost my mum and had many problems with her but there’s a time and place to explain that

Mollie ✌️

4th story I’d say the son isn’t better off with mum. Yes it can be important for a male input in any child’s life, but especially at that age a teenage boy should not be influenced by a man with a temper and verbally abusive to people. The child will mirror the behaviour of their parents. Keep it as it is IMO and btw my OPINION is based on personal experiences

Ty K

Dilemma 4- I would go with what the son wants. Living with a parent who blows up at you and/or is verbally/emotionally abusive can be equally as traumatizing as living with a parent who is physically abusive. Also, bare in mind, that physical abuse may not have happened yet, because there hasn't been an opportunity for it to. If time with dad has been limited, there just may not have been the chance for a conflict to arise that has gotten to physical blows. So in all honesty, the lack of time spent could very well be a blessing in disguise when it comes to bad tempers. If the dad is serious about wanting more time with the son, then I'd propose he work up to it.... Start by taking Anger Management classes, going to therapy, and maybe start by putting in more effort between the holidays. Give the son the option of doing a full weekend a month. If that goes well for a few months, do two weekends a month and keep increasing the time based on how comfortable the son is. 16 is a bit late to decide to help someone become a man and I'm not sure the dad is the best example if he struggles with things like self control, self awareness, and accountability- which most people who have anger issues tend to struggle with. Also, given the son is 16 he has less than 2 years before he's an adult/he goes off to college/university. Stuff can and likely will, undoubtedly come up, but at this point, it'll most likely be stuff that phone conversations and monthly visits can address. Modeling the behavior of a "man" in order to teach a son to become one, is something that should have started years ago. The dad would probably be better improving on himself so he can inspire his son to be a better man, than the father he got- The father who chose to be minimally present in his kid's life. A 3-4 hour drive wouldn't keep me from being an ever-present part of my child's life. And frankly, waiting until the kid is 16 and the child-rearing is practically over to demand more time with the kid, is really a slap in the face to both the kid (almost not kid) and the mom.

Doll

As soon as I heard the story with the mom who passed away was mean to the daughter and loving to the boys it honestly made sense. Jealousy is a bitch, as are boy moms. Not to get confused with mother of a son