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Getting Schooled - Kids in Church 101 (Patreon)

Published:
2023-04-12 10:01:00
Imported:
2026-06
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  • Getting Schooled April 12.mp3

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This episode is also available to watch on YouTube, exclusive for Patreon supporters: https://youtu.be/EeQh_m-CD4k Suggested Resources: A Ro

This episode is also available to watch on YouTube, exclusive for Patreon supporters: https://youtu.be/EeQh_m-CD4k

Suggested Resources:

A Royal Waste of Time: The Splendor of Worshiping God and Being Church for the World by Marva Dawn - https://amzn.to/43C1p55

The Life We're Looking For: Reclaiming Relationship in a Technological World by Andy Crouch - https://amzn.to/3zNPt26

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Comments

Rev. B

LOVED this conversation! As a children's pastor, this spoke to my ministry heart. I have been so proud and thankful that my 109 year old congregation took the risk about 10 years ago and began purposefully integrating our children into the gathered worship times. It is not without challenges, but the long term impact of belonging, purpose, and connection it has given our whole church family has been so good. Making room for our children is so important to living out the full purpose of the church- it is often a "long game" but most things that grow into something beautiful are! Thank you, Skye & Kaitlyn!

William P

Really enjoyed this conversation. Got a little emotional hearing the story of Isaac sharing about doing something for the poor. Good good stuff. Thank you both

William P

Just to add, my church did a great job at integrating children. We always stayed to worship with the congregation and came back early for communion. Baptism was a big deal and only happened in August (because we were baptized in the river, so other months were too cold), and children were always in attendance. I got to become a member of the church at 13. I got to travel to Haiti with my church at 15. When I was 16 or 17 I was voted as the representative for my church for a missions conference. I was shocked to be nominated and voted for. I had to get out of school that day to go to the conference, and I stayed overnight with a woman from my church who was also going. Let me say, all of this has impacted me and my faith SO MUCH!

Sarah Blair

So, so grateful for this conversation!! So affirming and insightful. The point about children being addressed directly in the epistles, assuming they were fully participating in the life of the church was a JAW DROP moment. How have I never thought of that before?? My current church does something that sounds like what Kaitlyn described her church doing, and I love it. I’ve often said that if we ever have to go to a different church it would be a deal breaker for me if the children are completely separate from the adults and “main” worship service the whole time. I 100% agree that children should be seeing baptisms and communion and prayer and worship in all its forms with the Body. Thank you for giving me both the Scriptural and historical backing for this belief!

Rachel Greve

Ok, this is going to be a bit long. I was probably 35 years old before I found out that some churches have children leave during the sermon (or apparently the entire service?). I admit, I was a little taken aback by this concept. Anyway, I wanted to share the experience of children in our church (Lutheran), since it is apparently quite different than what is common practice in evangelical churches. At every church I’ve ever attended, everyone goes to church together. Babies, toddlers, everyone. For babies that get disruptive, there’s a nursery with sound piped in so parents can take them out for a while. As parents, you do get distracted church attendance for a couple years when your kids are very little, and sometimes the back rows can get a little feisty. But by the time kids are 2 or 3, they can sit quietly through the service. A little extra noise from small children is expected and is, to be honest, a sign of a dynamic church family. Because our churches are liturgical, the songs and responses of the liturgy (Lord’s prayer, etc.) are one of the first things that toddlers learn to say. I especially remember how my youngest son loved singing the “allelujahs” when he was barely old enough to talk. He was also very insistent on sitting in the front or being held up at the end of the service so he could see the pastor give the benediction. In our church, child-specific instruction is a separate Sunday School hour with Bible stories, songs, crafts. (In our particular case, our church also has a K-8 school with daily religion classes and Bible/catechism memory work at every grade level.) As I was thinking about this topic, I kept coming up with more advantages of keeping Kids in Church. Here’s a non-comprehensive list: Church as Family/Community – Everyone in the community gathers together. Older people get to know the children and vice versa. A pastor of ours once pointed out that church may be the main place in our lives where we interact regularly with people across the age spectrum. And older kids can participate in things like helping usher, lighting candles, helping with the AV (all things my kids have done). Spiritual – Kids get to participate in the service, songs, confession and absolution, and hear the Bible read and explained at a higher level. If there are things that they don’t understand, they can ask their parents or Sunday School teachers later. Liturgy: because the same components appear every week, even very small children can learn to understand what they mean. Sermons: My memory of listening to sermons as a small child is that they taught me a lot and had relevancy to me (sermons in our churches are a bit shorter, 15-20 minutes typically). With my own kids, we’ve had good discussions about various sermons on our drive home. Social (socialization?) – Going to church is a good habit. As you get older, you just keep doing what you’ve always been doing. Kids learn to sit quietly in a technology-free environment. Kids learn to be a bit bored – aka not everything has to be constantly stimulating or geared toward them. “Snuggle time” – When else in your life will you just hold your child on your lap, or sit with your arm around them / hold their hand for twenty minutes at a time? Thanks for this discussion. It's always enlightening to hear how other groups of Christians do things and think about the pros and cons.

Sarah Blair
>>106546681

So insightful! I love reading your list. Thanks! I do think this model can be hard on Moms, especially who have a lot of kids. You can end up missing an entire decade of church sitting in the “cry” room. But I do think the benefits are there as well! I love how my church has done it where it’s kind of in the middle. There is a nursery for the little ones so parents can fully participate. Above that kids are in the service for all except the sermon. Then the adults and older kids get a sermons together and the younger kids go to a class to get a lesson at their level. Then they come back to join for the close of the service. But I’ve said many times that kids not being included in the service at all (which I think is especially the model in bigger churches it seems) would absolutely be a deal breaker for me. I can’t see how that is a spiritually healthy practice.

Caleb DeMoss

Great conversation, please do more on children’s spiritual formation.

M K

We have been struggling with this. I grew up in the church (in India) where we children would stay for worship, tithe, and communion and then were led to sunday school during the sermon part. I enjoyed worship and was in awe watching the adults (baptized people) partake in communion. I looked forward to being baptized and taking part in communion where I did not have to pass the plate when it came to me. But here in the US we have attended churches that people drop off kids at the children's ministry before they go off to "big church". Now I have a 4yo who loves worship and so I try to keep him with us for worship and then go drop off him but it is frowned upon because we are late. Today, I was so disappointed because there were baptisms and I could not go get my son early so he can watch them (cannot pull out early because of security reasons). I did that in the past once and he still remembers it from when he was 3. I really want to attend a church where children are included but are also cared for with age appropriate conversations during sermon. But so far we have been unsuccessful at finding one.