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I can explain this one in four words. Strategy guide for Turbo. I'm going to need two more words. Teen Writer. I might need thirty-three more words. It's a 1985 arcade game simulating the job of being a staff writer on the animated show Turbo-Teen as if it aired continuously until the year 2020, but the strategy guide for that. Thank you in advance for whatever awards this is eligible for.

This article was brought to you by our fine sponsor and Hot Dog Supreme: Patrick Herbst, the child with the horrible disease that inspired Turbo Teen's creation.

You can read this article and every other one on the much better in every way 1900HOTDOG.COM

Comments

Brettlybrett

I'm changing my name to Car Brett

Mike Metzler

“Interior spaghetti - Day” is fantastic

Talking Alpaca

I always have my scream button ready.

Vooster

According to IMDB, they made 13 episodes of this show. 10 of them are labeled "Top Rated". The "Micro-Teen" episode is one of the 3 that didn't make the cut. The pinball thing really didn't pan out, huh?

drake godzilla

I know this a joke but with paperwork sims being a thing I could see something like this actually working as a game

Eon

Hell yeah, this one was awesome.

Matthew Harris

If he is a teenager in 2020, does it mean that transforming into a car keeps people supernaturally young? Is it worth it through the pain? What if it also keeps his friends and dog young? But what if it also means that for 35 years, him and his gf never go beyond, uh, whatever it is they are doing there? Lots of questions here.

Goat Face

All space shuttles were fuckable, except for the Enterprise.

Bim Talzer

That Cracker Jack kid's face is haunting. Like Danny Bonaduce on PCP.

Sebben

This is easily the most coherent and understandable bit you've ever done!

Mister Sinistar

This is insanity from the furthest reaches. Like that scene in Doctor Strange except it's our minds hurtling through one barrier after another as we turbo car jump into a realm of timespace beyond the limits of even the oldest gods

sissyneck

yes its like his whole thing is a emergin hemmærrhoid

Jeff Orasky

That was the most sensible and coherent episode of Turbo Teen.

Corey McDaniels

I love initially being confused by the premise of a Seanbaby article only to be laughing at how unreasonably hard he nails it by the end.

Ace Hendrix

Where’s the section of the guide with all the Fatalities? I need to know how to do Car Brett’s Frozen Spine Splice!!

AU

Buhhhhhhhhh?

Stigt

I am dutch, and I can confirm that we sure love our kunthonks overhere….