Hot Dog Double Appreciation Day: Nibble the Abgrundwurst (Patreon)

Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that we skywrite each other’s names and penile lengths every Valentine’s Day. Some years it grows.

But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!

First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where a good woman is like a truck: fuel ‘er up and check the oil every once in a while and she should get you to Branson.

Sissyneck finds a new outlook on the world.

And unfortunately so does Trayton.

There’s a lot of appreciatin’ to get to, since we took time to pour one out for Cerril over the holidays. Donations for his celebration of life are still open. Now let us begin this solemn day of appreciation the traditional way: A bulk reading of the things you love about the site, and the things that cause you despair. They should be the same thing. Double check your list if they’re not.

Now let’s move on to the Comments, where the Germans have a word for the feeling of both awe and dread that washes over you when you see how long a Seanbaby article is.

It’s ‘abgrundwurst,’ by the way. Don’t look it up.

Tourma appreciates brevity.

Alice does not appreciate a missed pun. She’ll never forgive How To Name Your Pet.

Jeff Orasky has found his people.

Sam A has the answer to a question that has plagued us for years.

Willy does wear a belt buckle that says ‘BAMF!’ sometimes, but we assumed it was a racist acronym. Sorry, brother Willy.

Kevin Lynch has a sad realization.

The universe is a sadder place now. Who will care for our feral children?

Drake Godzilla wishes for a return to simpler times. And by “simpler,” he means “stupider.”

Dylan Gilbert is banned.

Devon waxes poetic about Snoopy penis.

While Charles Diab and Daphne Lawless wax poetic about huffing Jovi ass.

Christopher Horne is going to start a band based on a Seanbaby article. Hope you’re ready to pay the licensing fees. You didn’t think Butter Homunculus was free, did you? You don’t pay for the thirty seconds it took him to write that; you pay for the lifetime he lived to know how to write that.

Hey, speaking of huge Seanbaby fans: we got this new comment on a five year-old article of his about Phil Philips - the guy who thought every kid’s show was from the devil, but Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers was pretty sweet anyway. Yeah, he just really seemed to like Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. We don’t bring that up for any reason.

Now on to the Discord, where Eric found our new mascot!

His name’s Lil’ Captain Trashhole and we love him very much, even though he’s already dead. RIP Trashhole.

El Bobo and OrneryWeevil worked together to bring us a beautiful moment.

Nanomano worked alone to bring us another beautiful moment.

There’s just something about Mountain Monsters that makes people want to play it. Bigfeets has inspired multiple Mountain Monsters TTRPGs (Rachel actually ran a few in the Discord!). Beth wants to take it in a slightly different direction.

Devon and Badger have some perfectly reasonable notes.

Javo makes an uncharacteristically cute joke about Stranger Things.

And Henry gives him what he deserves for it.

Hesster popped in to look out for the community’s collective piss force, and Shamfeen made a wish.

Wad grants wishes. Sort of.

Adrienne and the rest of the Discord adapted The Grinch That Stole Bitches back into a children’s book. It is illegal to read it to children.

And now we close this day of appreciation in the traditional way: With the bulk reading of contextless comments that will probably get you in trouble with the law.

Wait! We forgot to pick a winner. Uh, shit it’s probably Custodes for buying tons of Hot Dogger’s books and giving them away in the Discord.

Wait! No it’s Velo for making this wonderful montage of John Fenley losing the will to live.

Wait! We promised that if you permanently maim your bodies for us, you win. Our lawyers beg us to stop promising that, but we pay them. They’re not our bosses. So the winner has to be ShmeEVAsaurus Rex for getting this tattoo!

It’s adorable, ShmeEV. Can we call you ShmeEV? We are a permanent part of your body, it feels like a nickname situation. You won! You won this priceless photo of Billy Corgan having a blast on his little train.

Don’t lose it! There’s only one and it has always looked exactly like this.

You folks are, as always, the best. And if anyone ever questions that, you call us. We’ll skullfuck them like a breedable Grimace.

You can read this article and every other one on the much better in every way 1900HOTDOG.COM