Hot Dog Appreciation Day: Dick Rips and Great Apes (Patreon)

Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. It takes both of us in total sync to pilot Frankfortron the Hot Dog mech, but when we do we are unstoppable. But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!

First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where the food pyramid is more of a food rectangle with a couple a’ gas pumps out front.

It’s been a very spiritual month for Sissyneck…

He’s been on a journey of learning and self-reflection, which can be lonely at times…

But he’s never alone. Not truly.

Didn’t you know, Sissyneck? Hot dogs always come in packs.

Now let’s move on to the Comments where Matt and Clem just want to get noticed by their Senpai. They think they didn’t get their wish, but those quiet red hearts tell a different story.

This month we learned a lot about what brings all of us together. And it’s the act of regretting being a young Dilbert fan.

The other thing that links us all together? Ninjas. Try to look surprised.

Jeff Orasky has a great idea for a D&D campaign, or the tragic very last episode of Scooby Doo.

The Scooby gang getting slaughtered by ninjas is one of the all-time great ninja stories. But it takes second place to this one by Capt.

Ross just picked our $14,000/month goal.

Wait, there’s one more thing guaranteed to get all Hot Dogs on the same page: Dicks.

Especially island ones!

David came up with the second best D&D campaign, as well as the final episode of Mountain Monsters.

Scooby and the gang can’t take a squad of ninjas, but they can sure as hell take the Mountain Monsters boys. Slopes and jogging can and often do take the Mountain Monsters boys.

Joshua will take us out of the comments with a simple, evergreen statement.

Next it’s time for Weekend Updape with Gellaho! Let’s introduce ourselves (no eye contact, butt elevated in submission) to the new apes Gellaho wrangled for us this month!

There’s something so hot about a volunteer ape.

Oh shit, it’s Robber Ape! Don’t put your hands up - he’ll think you’re trying to look big and that’s a sign of aggression.

Welder Ape is the only ape you need for a montage.

Now on to the Discord where Mo is taken by the spirit of Dennis Miller, as so many of us are. Not pictured: an explanation for the anal Heathcliff.

Let’s get the Discord in on that Dick Fight Island love, too. They adore Dick Fight Island. Maybe too much. They won’t make it past the first round if they stay this excited.

There is nothing more American than blowing up a National Park with eight pipe bombs tied together in the shape of a dick because hey, it’s a boy!

Nothing more American, unless…

Brockway opened the door to 1960s animation, and Mo led the chimps in. They don’t call him the Pied Piper of Chimptown for nothin’.

This was a light month for the Discord, while the Comments brought ninjas to a jokefight (ninjas always win a jokefight). Don’t worry, the Discord came the fuck up during Dick Fight Island and Anime Week – it’s just that those are projects in progress. Big things next month!

Until then, it’s time to pick a winner. Who will it be? Who could it possibly – aw, who the hell are we kidding? Congratulations, Capt.! Nobody’s beating that ninja story, and if they do, a true ninja will spend a lifetime and a fortune suing anybody that says so. Capt., you are the new custodian of the Prince Photo:

Let’s check in on Javo and DeltaFoxtrot who – AAIIIIEEEE! We should not have given the Prince Photo two souls this month! It used their life energy to unlock the Keith David kneepads, the final and most powerful seal!

It’s loose, god help us all it’s finally free!

You folks are, as always, the best. And if anyone ever questions that, you call us. We’ll empty their gun and medicine cabinets so they’ll be denied a peaceful suicide, the only mercy left in Prince Photo’s world.

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