Hot Dog Appreciation Day: Dog on Target (Patreon)

Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard there’s a shipping forum just for Brockbaby and we’re the admins.

But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!

First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where you can’t assume everyone is a Mormon, just basically if they got their shirt tucked in.

Here’s some really helpful advice to keep your calorie counter on track.

Poor Sissyneck fell for a microtransaction scam-

The worst part about Quifis is they only sold them in multiples of 14 million but it took 17 million to buy a 30 second episode of Vampire Cuck Romance.

Now let’s move on to the Comments, where Brendan McGinley, Bill Culbertson, and Swift Justice walk the narrow line between a Lydia Bugg and a Seanbaby.

Jeff Orasky does some Elf-Help lorebuilding.

Rebecca Bleth is going straight to hell, but the really sweet part of hell reserved for people who make the devil giggle.

Christopher Horne started out with a kiss, now he’s on a terrorist watchlist. It was only a kiss. It was only a kiss.

This month, like every month, Brockway taunted unhinged magical weirdos like S Rob, the British Tactical Pen wizard. Darth itHead, Most Powerful Alex, and Matt Edwards correctly wrote Brockway’s inevitable obituary.

Scribbler Johnny has been so thoroughly indoctrinated by 1900HOTDOG he will attack a circus on sight.

Now on to the Discord, where Jakesy dispenses wisdom and Mordred repackages it for sale in the poster rack of Spencer’s Gifts.

EveryZig has a stupid question, Mo has a stupid answer.

When Javo’s John Fenley column dropped, the Hot Dog community went warehouse-buyingly insane, which is our new yardstick for insanity.

After Compu-Toon brain-poisoned the Hot Dog boys, it was up to Yeyo to develop a cure before they each bought a mug that said “Pobody’s nerfect!”

And then Mo had to hold them down so it could be administered.

Internationally Wanted Hot Dog Artist Brett Ellefson wasn’t content with a three hour podcast spiral. He wanted to trap some small measure of their souls within Compu-Toon forever.

It’s the cruelest art ever made, Brett.

And that’s why YOU’RE THE WINN-

What’s this??

Oh no, Brett. There’s no way you could’ve known. Gellaho went completely mad again and handmade every frame of a three hour Hardy Boys movie. He and the Hot Dog community live-read very stupid books in the Book Dorks channel of our Discord every Friday at 5PM PT. That’s already an exemplary feat of Hot Doggery, but every once in a while Gellaho will retreat from the living world for six months to put more work into a Hardy Boys book than every single Hardy Boys author combined.

There was nothing to be done, Brett. You are the King, but the Kong just showed up.

Congratulations, Gellaho! You are the new custodian of Jackie Chan in his cute little outfit.

This… something seems off here. Is this the same photo we loaned our previous winners Hambone, Fatamatician, Gellaho, Fancy Shark, Adrienne, Yeyo, Dennard Dayle, Clementine Danger, and Akentarion? Hold on, let’s go over the checklist:

Martial arts master Jackie Chan.

Completely adorable outfit.

Bashful glee.

Yeah, all the boxes are checked. This has to be the same one, there’s no way there could be two.

You folks are, as always, the best. And if anyone ever questions that, you call us. We’ll find their proudest artistic work and spend six months of our life making a three-hour movie that gently mocks it.

...You can read this article and every other one on the much better in every way 1900HOTDOG.COM.