Battle of the Plan - August 2023 (Patreon)

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you without a battle plan to step to.

Much of this you will already know, but I'll slap it on the counter for your approval anyway.

Mondays! The Vuvu Boys. This is an ongoing saga that will only conclude when I'm done with it. I'm not done with it yet. My first 100 part series? It has a strong chance.

Tuesdays! Simulator Tuesday! Right now we're Derailing in the Valley. Once we're done doing that (I'd quite like to do at least one jaunt in a better diesel) there'll be another simulator coming down the pipe. 5 by 5.

Wednesdays! Vuvu freakin Boys.

Thursdays! More simulate. More of the time.

Fridays! Vuvu Boys, natch.

Saturdays! New series starting soon (just need to find the game). This week, however, the second installment of Mr Steggs and I breaking things. And a live stream. Bannerlord for now (and for a while to come), but I'm seeking out the right kind of social club casual jocularity to make our collective hearts sing a happy song.

Sundays! The new series again. It'll probably be something buildy.

That's the scheme, see? Something charactery. Something simulatey. Something buildy. Each of them a couple of times per week so if one strand of adventure doesn't spark your enthusiasm, one of the others might just poke its head into your affections.

There it is. Masterfully crafted, much like this missive from the reviewers at ChatGPT who had a few words to say about Ted and Badger.

******

Title: "Ted and Badger" - A Disastrous Dive into Gaming Chaos

Prepare for a train wreck of epic proportions with "Ted and Badger," a game that defies all expectations – unfortunately, for all the wrong reasons. If you're searching for a title that delivers a coherent story, intuitive controls, stunning graphics, and a bug-free experience, look elsewhere, because "Ted and Badger" fails spectacularly on all fronts.

Let's start with the story – or lack thereof. "Ted and Badger" tosses players into a narrative blender, leaving them dazed and bewildered by the jumbled mess of inexplicable plot twists, unexplained character motivations, and a complete absence of any logical coherence. It's as if the developers threw a dart at a board covered in random story elements and called it a day. Good luck trying to make sense of the convoluted mess they've thrown together.

But even if you manage to decipher the nonsensical narrative, you'll be too busy battling the controls to enjoy the experience. The controls in "Ted and Badger" are an exercise in frustration and futility. Unresponsive, clunky, and often counterintuitive, they transform every attempt at playing into a painful exercise in hand-eye coordination gymnastics. Want to perform a basic action? Better hope the game decides to cooperate, because you're in for a wild ride of button mashing and joystick wrestling.

As if the lackluster story and abysmal controls weren't enough, the graphics of "Ted and Badger" would feel right at home in the early days of gaming. Prepare to be transported back in time to an era when pixelated blobs were considered high-tech visuals. The environments lack detail, character models resemble bizarre caricatures, and the overall aesthetic feels like a relic from a bygone era, a sad reminder of the leaps and bounds gaming has made in the past decades.

Oh, and let's not forget the pièce de résistance – the bugs. "Ted and Badger" appears to have been developed with a blindfolded coding team, as the game is riddled with an astounding number of glitches, crashes, and game-breaking bugs. Characters get stuck in walls, missions fail to trigger, and the game's AI behaves like a deranged circus act. It's an exercise in masochism trying to progress when you're constantly battling against a litany of technical nightmares.

In conclusion, "Ted and Badger" is a catastrophic mess of a game that somehow manages to fumble every single aspect of its design. From an incoherent story to baffling controls, dated graphics, and a legion of bugs, it's a cautionary tale of how not to create a gaming experience. Save your sanity and your hard-earned money – steer clear of this disaster and choose a title that values your time and investment.

Sounds like an 8/10 to me.

-CF