CONSENT REFRESHER FOR 2025 (Patreon)

Today we’re talking about CONSENT as a refresher course. Not the “maybe” kind. Not the “gray area” kind. I mean informed, enthusiastic, and ongoing consent.

This isn't just about safety. This is about power, ethics, and respect for the sacred dynamic we build as Dominants.

What Is Consent in BDSM?

Consent in kink means every act, whether physical, verbal, digital, or emotional is:

• Clearly agreed upon

• Freely given (not manipulated, coerced, or guilt-tripped)

• Revocable at any time

• Specific to the scene or dynamic in question

This means no assumptions. No “Well, he’s a sub so he should expect it.” NOPE. If it’s not talked about, agreed to, and acknowledged? It’s not consent.

Types of Consent Models

There are a few frameworks you’ll hear in BDSM communities:

• SSC: Safe, Sane, and Consensual
  The traditional model. Basic and still valid, but some find it too vague.

• RACK: Risk-Aware Consensual Kink
  Recognizes that BDSM involves risk, but focuses on informed decision-making by both parties.

• PRICK: Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink
  A step further: emphasizes that everyone is responsible for understanding the risks and acting with integrity.

You don’t have to pick a “team,” but knowing these models gives you language and structure to your scenes.

Setting the Scene: Pre-Scene Negotiation

A responsible Domme negotiates before they dominate.

What should you cover?

• Hard limits and soft limits

• Safe words (and non-verbal cues for things like breathplay)

• Aftercare needs

• Trigger warnings

• What they’re curious about but unsure of

• Past trauma (if they’re comfortable sharing, NEVER force)

Pro tip: Keep a digital or physical checklist you send to all new subs. You’re not just being ethical, you’re also protecting your business.

Consent Isn’t Forever

Just because someone consented yesterday, doesn’t mean they’re into it today.

This applies to:

• Subs who change their minds mid-session (respect the safe word)

• Content filming: get updated permissions every time

• Returning clients: renegotiate before play, not during

Consent can be withdrawn at any moment, and the session must stop immediately.

Dominance ≠ Entitlement

Let’s be clear: being a Domme does not mean:

• You get to ignore limits

• You can push scenes for your content

• You decide what’s “too sensitive” to be a real trigger

Your power is earned, not assumed. You earn it by creating a space where your submissives feel safe enough to surrender.