Chapter 842 - Heart, mind, and body. (Patreon)

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

As if trying to show off, he takes off his hat and combs his hair, which, unlike mine, is shoulder-length. Much like my usual hair, it is slightly wavy. His eyes then look up at my head.

After Lissandra shaved it, it was bald even after I entered this place, but currently, I have been able to manifest a sort of buzz cut length.

Nerdthaniel puts his hat back on. "I'm you, so you are essentially talking to yourself. Don’t you wonder if our [Focus] skill is simply a localized manifestation of neurodivergent predisposition? In our case, perhaps synthesized with ADHD and a latent predisposition for schizophrenia. That would provide the perfect architecture for our talent in splitting minds. If you analyze the data, isn't it probable that many high-level attendees possess a predisposition for mental illnesses? Within the system, those 'disorders' are actually optimal hardware for skill usage. It explains how Tess got a skill as ridiculous as [Declaration], making her inherently delusional in a way that the system rewards. Even Vic, with her [Intent] and [Duplication], is a great host for them because of her nature. Her personality isn't a defect in this case-"

I lift my hand to stop him from talking, and he does.

"What are you doing here?" I ask again.

He looks away in that cool, smooth, nonchalant way and stares at the sky as if searching for something distant.

This place currently is just a quiet, cozy autumn forest during one of the last remaining days of the season, and as if on cue, the wind blows through his hair and sends a few colorful leaves swirling around him.

"I highly suspect that Lissandra Hawthorne is already releasing more than 50% of her presence. According to my calculations, the passage of time is uncertain, and due to the behavior of her mana, I suspect we have reached her requirement, and she has, on a whim, decided for more. I would say it is her variation of punching your face."

"Our face."

"Your face, I am you," he says.

"You make no sense. But okay, so let’s say that is true. Then you are what? A sign of my mind getting damaged?"

"Most certainly. Consider the variables: the environmental thought acceleration here, your continuous overclocking of your cognitive processor. Combined with your constructs, severe mana imbalances, the degradation of your body, and the extreme utilization of parallel mind partitioning. It was inevitable that it would all manifest as externalized personas when pushed past the threshold of mental stability. I would recommend a stop of this sort of activity to prevent damage to the psyche, but we both know that isn't likely."

"It isn't, I will push further. I knew the risk of coming here and that there might be a danger of losing myself. Though I didn’t expect it to manifest through one of my sub-minds showing up this way." I sit down and watch him curiously. "Well, in the end, it’s simple. I just have to hold myself together."

As I say that, I wave my hand. When I do that, he disappears as if he were never there, leaving me to my thoughts.

Even when he was manifested, I didn’t feel any different. Nothing of me was missing, it just felt like my mind was spread wider. Not even for a moment did I stop being me, at least not for now. But hey, only a few days have passed so far.

I pass my hand through my buzz cut hair and continue to think about it and the ways I use split minds. Sure, there are some dangers, they have always existed. And there are dangers to thought acceleration, as I saw with Faora and the tortured parts of herself left in her mind palace. But I’m not like her, and I’m confident I can endure that much.

What I find interesting is that part of my mind, and I was able to have a conversation. It was like that with Sneakythaniel as well.

Well, I bet plenty of Absolutes do that, and probably even some rulers. In this wide universe, it is certainly a fairly normal and common thing.

I don’t know how many hours or days pass, but it is time for another break. I also don’t know if it was Lissandra or my subconsciousness, but the area around us has changed.

The forest is replaced by a desert that has no dunes, just white sand spreading as far as I can see. There is a circular platform made of reddish stone, inside of which we sit. That platform is also framed by four trees with green leaves, too vibrant in contrast to the white sand and red-ish platform.

Lissandra’s steps are confident and smooth as she takes a few paces, taking the opportunity of this break to give me another lesson. I still don’t know if it is her honestly trying to teach me something, her being bored, or her using it to help me keep my mind stable.

"If anyone ever challenges you by using proper etiquette, and you see in their bearing that they are ready to die, pay them respect back. Kill them if you decide to. Leave them alive if you wish to do so. After all, a loser complaining about your decision would make them even more pathetic than just losing."

She stops exactly in the middle of the platform, her movements turning sharp while maintaining a feeling of ceremoniality without being stuffy. In a way, they feel like the movements of royalty in combination with the movements of a duelist. Lissandra stays there relaxed, standing with both feet next to each other, one hand behind her back, head held high. Her right hand floats in front of her chest, hand open and palm pointed towards where her heart is.

In a smooth and swift gesture, she closes her hand into a fist and swings her arm down to her side, hand slightly angled. "This is the duel acceptance stance of the knight order I joined when I reached level 100."

She takes another step and slides into a different stance. This time she stands wider, and her body seems more tense. But her movements carry the very same grace as she holds her left hand, palm resting against her heart. Her right hand is open, palm pointing at her face. In another swift gesture, she lifts her right hand over her head and then swings it down.

"This one was used by the Champion who wished to become my teacher. He and the country he protected, the people there, liked this stance. That stance flowed into the release of a powerful single-target attack, which they used to quickly win or lose most of their duels. A few days after I met that Champion, he fell in one of the constant battles. I remained there for years, leaving only after the country was annexed by its neighbor."

All of her movements relax as she switches to her usual stance. "It doesn't matter what you decide to use. It doesn't even matter if you use any at all. After all, none of it is as important as the battle itself, where your acts speak louder than such gestures. But one day, you might find an opponent you truly respect and might want to show that respect this way. But there are also people who like to attack without any warning and don't put value on duels. Never put a smidgen of respect toward such a person. Kill them like the animals they are. Erase them from your memory so they are forgotten even by the person who killed them."

It seems that she is looking for an answer, so I only nod, as I feel something like this is obvious.

That seems to satisfy her. "People like you fight differently from a duel between Champions. Furthermore, a duel at the level of Absolutes is vastly different. It is something that you don’t need to bother with as you are currently, but there are three things you should look at in a duel, as there is a very high chance your opponent will as well if they are properly trained."

Out of nowhere, a wind blows over the desert, but interestingly, it doesn’t disturb even a speck of sand. They all stay where they are, but at the same time, the desert reacts. It is as if the wind pushed these grains just to tilt a bit differently and show another side that is a less bright white. That causes a cascade effect over a huge area, like waves spreading.

"Heart, mind, and body. Your opponent will do their best to pierce through your natural and active barriers to observe the output of your heart or any other source. Watching for spikes is a huge advantage, though most experienced opponents learn to mask it and trick you, even if their natural barrier is pierced, and many others can do a lot with very little energy. This is commonly used against amplifiers who might instinctively watch for big spikes. Though your senses are lacking, your eyes give you an advantage in that, but know that they can still be tricked."

She does exactly that, using multiple ways of confusing my eyes in a rapid manner. There is one technique I find very interesting. It is where she makes it seem that my senses pierced her natural barrier, but it is actually a fake version that perfectly mirrors it and instead lies over her skin, where she makes small changes to gain an advantage.

I think there is some spatial effect to it as well, as I am even checking for the correct scale. There should be a difference between feeling it under her skin and over her skin, yet her trickery feels like it is below her skin.

"Mind. Grasping your opponent correctly allows you to plan ahead. Their endurance, emotions such as fear, and other obvious things to look for. Then there are less obvious ones, such as ways to estimate their passives and the levels of their skills. If you are experienced enough and pierced through their natural barrier properly, you can even estimate the category of skill they carry or guess the exact one. I will show you some of these methods. Then, lastly, there is the body. Even if you are someone who doesn't prefer direct combat, you should be able to follow your opponent's movements and know what to expect. This is best done by experiencing it on your skin and having similar capabilities, though they are not as easily used as your opponent's."

I’m already waiting for what is for sure to come, and she doesn’t disappoint.

"Your physical stats are pathetic, saved only by your... decent use of kinetic energy taught to you by that talented demon. Your body reinforcement is one of the worst things I have seen. I saw street rats with better ones. There are many different techniques I observed you use for body strengthening, and all of them are beyond pathetic. Be it your way and give up on efficiency, but there are better ways you could use mana-based techniques in combination with kinetic energy. Once again, if you do a decent job here, I will teach you some."

"Deal," I say, and looking at her, I ask, "You said you would be making me endure up to 50% of your presence, didn't you?"

"I did indeed."

"How much have I endured so far?"

"Little pup, do not get distracted by thinking of useless stuff. And get your mind together before we continue."

With that, she is gone, leaving me alone in the middle of the platform.

Well, almost alone.

I almost lack the strength to look at him, but in the end, I decide to do so. Standing there is a man with my face and a similar buzz cut. Other than that, he is wearing a tank top, showing off big, round shoulders and massive arms. He is even a head taller than me, with a figure reminding me of Morwag. In one hand over his shoulder, he holds that sort of jacket every 90s movie bully used to wear.

With his arms then moving on his hips in a casual stance that still shows his lats and V-shaped back, he faces me with a confident smile. "Fifty percent? That’s it? I bet she’s lying just to make you feel better. If I were out there, I’d be soaking up 100% of her 'presence' and asking for seconds. You’re shaking, little kid, just like Sneaky. It’s embarrassing to share a body with you. And that 'deal' you just made? You basically just begged her for scraps. 'Please, Mommy Lissandra, teach me how not to be trash.' We should be telling her how it’s going to be! Blah, blah, blah, 'heart, mind, body.' If she spent half as much time punching as she does posing, we’d be done training already. Does she want to fight, or is she auditioning for a play? Next time she does that heart-palm thing, we should just spit on the floor. See how 'ceremonial' she feels then..."

He disappears before he can say more. Assholethaniel has proven useful at times, and he was the one I made to handle close-range combat, body strengthening, and such. It was in the era when I tried to reduce the number of my sub minds, so I combined some.

In the end, I still believe him about one thing. I suspect we are already at a point close to 50% of the presence of her Eladore version. Even though that Eladore version is weakened, and even though that version wasn't even close to the strength of a Prime Liss who challenged Pride, it is enough to almost make me happy.

But I erase such thoughts. There will be time for such things later.

For now, I will continue to do my best. And then some.

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