Reincarnated In ToonTown Chapter 200: The Basics (Patreon)

Watching Ramon and Tiana cook was harder than Dipper thought it would be. Though not because he was worried about them suddenly uncovering his ulterior motives, rather, it was because he had to constantly remind himself why he was there. 

Dipper’s feigned interest in cooking soon became an actual fascination as he watched Tiana and Ramon move about the kitchen with a precision that bordered on mechanical. 

Every time Dipper went to search for something anomalous, he was distracted by the sights, smells, and sounds of the kitchen as it came alive around him. 

“You alright, Dipper?” Ramon asked, jolting Dipper out of his dazed spell and making him jump, “U-uh yeah, sorry I just spaced out a little.” 

“Must seem like a lot if you’re not used to it, huh?” Ramon asked with a friendly smile, and Dipper nodded, “Well, maybe I can break down what’s going on if you want to make sense of it.” 

Dipper shook his head, “No, I’m good. I don’t want to distract you.” 

“I promise you a few questions won’t slow me down, besides, I can do half of this stuff with my eyes closed,” Ramon bragged as his knife became a blur on the cutting board, turning a whole onion into a mountain of finely diced cubes in the blink of an eye. 

“Whoa,” Dipper muttered, not needing to fake how impressed he was, “How did you do that?” 

“Here, let me show you,” Ramon invited Dipper closer with a nod of his head, and after a second, Dipper walked over to stand next to Ramon in front of the cutting board. 

“Alright, first things first: always make sure your knife is sharp. Cut with a dull blade and not only will your prep take forever, but you have a far greater risk of losing control when it gets caught unexpectedly.  Now you want to hold your knife like this, in a pinch grip. 

This will give you a lot of fine control when you’re more comfortable with your skills,” Ramon instructed before demonstrating with his thumb pressed against the very base of the knife with the side of his forefinger on the other side. 

“Pinch grip got it,” Dipper repeated with a quick nod as he dutifully watched Ramon’s hands. 

“Good, now when it comes to actually cutting, your nondominant hand is going to be responsible for manipulating whatever is on your board. That also means it’s going to be the closest part of your body to the knife, so you need to know how to avoid injury. 

Ramon put his left hand on the cutting board and then made a show of tucking in his fingertips, “Your knuckles should always face the knife; that way you don’t cut off a finger, and it acts as a nice guide for your knife when making those fast cuts.” 

“So the knife should be close to your knuckles?” Dipper asked, making Ramon pause before shaking his head, “I wouldn’t say that necessarily; it certainly can be, but only when you’re really comfortable putting on some speed. For now, when you practice at home, just take it slow and get comfortable.” 

Dipper blinked, “Wait, you want me to practice?” 

“I don’t want you to do anything, but if you want to get good at cooking and work in a kitchen, you’ll need to practice,” Ramon explained calmly, “You’ll want to start with different vegetables: carrots, onions, potatoes. Depending on the vegetable you have, you’ll want to practice a different cut.” 

“Different cuts? I thought you just kept chopping until the pieces were small enough,” Dipper said, cluelessly, making Ramon smirk, “Sometimes, but what if you need a carrot cut into super thin but long strips or you need to dice roughly sixty-two onions for prep and just chopping blindly won’t cut it? A good chef knows the right technique to use given the situation at hand.” 

“Okay, so how many kinds of cuts are there?” Dipper asked. 

“14 for vegetables and fruits,” Ramon answered succinctly, making Dipper’s jaw drop, “14?! How could you possibly need 14 different ways to cut a vegetable?” 

“You’d be surprised how specific some recipes can be. Remember when you're cooking, the surface area of your ingredients matters a lot. Maybe you need a nice cube to brown evenly on all sides, or a really fine dice so your onions sweat out in a couple minutes rather than close to half an hour.” 

“Huh, I never thought of it that way,” Dipper admitted. 

“Well we’re getting close to opening, so I don’t have much time, but take a look online tonight for some cooking basics. You’d be surprised at the quality of information that you can find for free.” Ramon advised as he glanced at the clock. 

“Oh, alright, well, thank you for letting me watch…Can I come back tomorrow?” 

“Sure, unless I say otherwise, feel free to show up,” Ramon answered, making Dipper grin as he slowly started walking towards the door, “Alright then, I’ll see you tomorrow then I guess.”

Turning around as he pushed open the door, Dipper jumped and half-managed to suppress a shout of surprise when he found Pacifica staring at him from less than a foot away, “I know what you’re up to.” 

“U-up to I d-don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dipper stammered as Pacifica narrowed her eyes at him. 

“Really? You’re just suddenly interested in the cooking industry?” Pacifica asked sarcastically. 

“Oh yeah and what about you?!” Dipper asked with false bravado, turning the attack on Pacifica, “Why are you working here after never having done an honest day of work in your life? How do you even know Ramon?!” 

“God, I’m trying to change!” Pacifica groaned and crossed her arms, “And Ramon is a family friend, but that’s besides the point. I know you’re here to do an investigation or something else weird, but I’m telling you right now, forget about it and don’t mess this up for me or anyone else who works here!” 

“How would I mess things up?” Dipper hissed. 

“Because even if things are normal and everything is fine, wherever you start messing around, things always get messy and all hell breaks loose. It’s like you're cursed or something,” Pacifica said, harshly poking Dipper in the chest. 

“Things always get messy because I uncover the truth and expose it for everyone to see,” Dipper insisted, not backing down in the slightest, “I’m not about to bury my head in the sand just because it's convenient.” 

“No you’d much rather ruin it for everyone else if you get to say ‘I was right’ at the end of the  day,” Pacifica criticized before she leaned in close with a dangerous look in her eyes, “I swear to god Dipper, do not fuck this up or I will end you.” 

For a moment, Dipper hesitated at the intense look in Pacifica’s eyes, only to shrug off his stupor a second later, “I’m just here to learn about cooking, nothing more, nothing less, so just relax and everything will be fine.” 

“Like hell it will be,” Pacifica scoffed even as she stepped aside, letting him pass, “I’ve got my eye on you, Dipper.”