[MW Cakewalk] Raviholy - CR 1 Small Celestial - $5 Reward (Patreon)

“And so Lord Doug decreed unto the chef, ‘Worry not, child of the flour, for when your noodles retire from being al-dente, and your sauce burns in its pot, I will aid you in your time of knead.’ Ramen.”

—Leaventicus 6:7

In the beginning there was only flour, water, and eggs. From these ingredients, Doug, Lord of Baked Goods, kneaded a humble ball of dough. While He let it rest for twenty-four hours in His divine fridge, the Gods of Flavour secretly added their own ingredients to the mixture. Come the morrow, after baking it in a pre-heated holy oven at four hundred and fifty degrees for thirty minutes, Doug retrieved not a fresh loaf of bread, but the world. To remind unleavened mortals that it was not the Gods of Flavour, but His Holy Maleableness who kneaded them into existence, Lord Doug sent His disciples—foremost among whom are the raviholies.

Multiform Messengers. Raviholies present themselves in myriad forms, with which they convey one of the God of Dough’s most important commandments; “Despite thy different forms, thou art cut from the same sheet of dough”. Their role as messengers goes two ways; where they spread the word of their creator, so too do they pass on prayers to His Doughyness. As such, raviholies are worshipped—many chefs keep effigies of these divine envoys in their kitchens to pray to before a challenging service.

Lost in Translation. Raviholies’ messages sometimes become tangled—like spaghetti—in the process of translating the will of a god to the common tongue. The resulting misinterpretations have caused a slew of strange practices to become canonised as gospel. Examples include the wearing of pots on one’s head, the sprinkling of salt on the doorstep of one’s new home, or adding oil to a boiling pot of pasta to stop it from sticking together.

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