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It was bugging me a bit that page 21 LEAPED into page 22 without the fade-out I'd planned for. In my head there was a nice pause that would serve as a transition point. But I guess... I didn't really draw it!?!

Spent the day talking with folk and drawing up ice cream sandwich wrappers, to act as a bonus slow-down page. But I wasn't happy with how it was looking...

Version 1

... was just too empty and the wrapper was not very well thought out or designed.

So I tried version 2...

...which I dig, but I find leaping into such big text, jarring. It's not slowing things down but instead throwing me and the reading flow off! You can see what I mean with the pages back to back like so:

Just... abrupt!

In the end I sort of just expanded the 'some time passed' motif, to include the cookie I'd spent all friggin day drawing, and jazzed up the language a bit. The final two edited versions are in the header! I hope you all like it? It still doesn't feel ideal to me. That big cube eats up space that I enjoyed on the panel. But it does help the moment land and the transition come across.

Any lessons learned?

Maybe... work on my fade-in-and-outs. I need to learn how to end a scene!

Here are the two pages side by side! If you hate it lmk ha - I might yet flip-flop some more on it. I figure when I post it public is when it's set-in-stone.

I've updated the OG page posts to reflect the new files

NEW->>> Page 22

NEW->>> Page 21

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Comments

Sora (Night Sky)

This comic is shaping up to be the best furry comic out there

Jack Talon

I don’t want to be that guy but it seems like you would like to be told! The speech bubble from Judy on the last page should be “C’mere you” instead of “C’mere here you!” Other than that hnnnngggg this is still so fucking wonderful and I can’t wait for the next chapter!

Amadose

haha omg - I'll correct it in a second. YEESH this page =D

Amadose

Aw Sora - thank you!!! <3

Tigerchris

Probably cause I'm a bit of a cum alut but a nice big wet orgasm from Owen and Judy in Nick's face might have been nice to. Before the fade out but hind sight and all XD

Rickochet

The awkward moments passed and you feel better. Lesson learned. It’s okay to forget to add something and add it later. 👏👏✨

Amadose

OK I fixed that... and I think I might fiddle with it more later? Ugh I hit post too quick I think haha, I keep finding things I want to fix =D Thanks for the kind works and excitement bud means a lot!

Diego P

I honestly prefer the small "Sometime later" text, the white square feels intrusive

Amadose

Well, yeah, sure. I mean if I never wanted to finish the chapter I could have them doing all kinds-a-crazy things; Gotta know when to cut it short, in order to roll forward. I think my difficulty is learning how to do so artfully.

AL871

I love your attention to details, also nice ice cream ❤

Tigerchris

And it's not like you don't have the opportunity for some wet fun lol so best save some bits for later

wolfcoffee

I know a few people were confused, but you may have overthought this one. I certainly didn't feel the old one was jarring, and I've seen MUCH more confusing from comics in terms of layout and timing. That said, new one works too, and you did at least get a cute drawing of an ice cream sandwich out of it.

AngelOD

So cute and wholesome! ❤️❤️

Mikey

Absolutely love how much thought you put in to these

Amadose

haha, yeaaaah I might still feel that way too? Or just a flat line without the box: 'Some snuggles & one trip to the freezer later...' I'll sit on it a bit. There's also a part of me that's thinking of adding text? to the 1st panelb but.. ugh I don't know any more ha

Amadose

I switched it back, but kept the 'some snuggles & one trip to the freezer later...' line as I think it set's the scene playfully. Added in a bit of text. I think I'll walk away from it now and if it feels like it needs a change in a week or something I'll look at it again then 0_o

Amadose

Thanks bud! These sorts of things really play on me. I over think things ALOT 0_o for better and worse ha!

Amadose

You know you migth be right. I have the tendency to over worry, and over work a problem. I'ma roll it back a bit: I went with the new 'some snuggles & one trip to the freezer later...' and added in a tiny bit of dialogue. But removed the box and icecream cookie. I'll see how I feel in like... a week.

Amadose

It's a curse hahaha =D I can't ever feel 'happy' and always want to micro-improve these things. Even now I'm flip flopping on the final look =D But I think I'll put it to rest and maybe look at it another day.

rasswar

waiting for those files

DeerPark128

Chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches are like the best ice cream treats out there

Fen Redwolf

I wouldn't worry to much about this, I thinks the new transition is lovely. Is the white cutout a tad intrusive? Yes. Is that a damn fine Ice cream cookie? Also Yes! ;D

Diego P

I think letting it go is better XD focus on what's next

Amadose

Ah I updated the Core posts with the updated files.

Amadose

I think I got a little bit tunnel brianed on it tbh. I'ma step away and let it be =)