Behind-the-Song: I'll Never pt.3 (Patreon)

At last, the tea... ☕👀

Prior to this point in the song, I really was not thinking of anyone in particular, but just my general experience liking people who are wrong for me...and then I started to have feelings for someone. For the first time in years (demi things 🤷‍♀️). And luckily for the song, as is so frequently the case, the red flags were abundant 😅🫣

Because I am demi, and typically even if someone likes me, in my experience, if they respect me and know I'm demi, they will never tell me they have feelings. So, that combined with my overwhelming need to communicate openly and honestly about things that might impact a relationship (in this case, a close friendship), means I make a habit of just straight up telling people when I have feelings. It just makes my life easier.

See you've got complicated ties / but I just couldn't live a lie / I'm sorry that you could

In this particular circumstance, I told him because he had a girlfriend and our friendship was getting a little too comfortable... A lot of our conversations were flirty. And to me, as long as we were both on the same page that neither of us had feelings, that was just fun and entertaining. But once I had feelings, it was no longer okay. He had a girlfriend! He can't continue to flirt with another girl after he knows has feelings!?

So I called him and told him and said I understood if things needed to change because I honestly thought they should. But his first reaction to my confession was that he wished I'd waited to tell him; that if the timing was different... Because he and his girlfriend were having some issues... 🤦‍♀️ Red flags anyone? Needless to say, he wanted everything to stay the same. And he never let his partner weigh in...

While you were making my heart stall / I was making the tough calls / 'Cause you never would / No you can't let go / You won't let go

In my personal opinion, if you're in a relationship and a close friend of yours confesses having feelings, your partner also deserves to know. And there should be a conversation about comfort level with how that friendship proceeds. Sure, there doesn't have to be any change, but your partner should at the very least be allowed to express how it makes them feel.

She never found out. To this day, I don't know if she was ever told. They broke up a few months later and guess who was his first call 🤦‍♀️

ANYWAY I ended up being the one to set boundaries... Because he wouldn't. Because he didn't want to. Because he didn't want to let (me) go. Because he wanted to sit me on a back burner for later. For when he broke up with his girlfriend, who (oh so shockingly) didn't see it coming and no idea anything was wrong 👍🫠

And that's the tea 💁‍♀️ (most of it...stay tuned)