Behind-the-Song: Honestly pt.6 (The last one! 🥳) (Patreon)

We finally made it to the end! 🙌
Well... The bridge anyway, but it is the last song part to dissect 😅

This was the part of the song where I decided to relive the breakup... 🫣

What's the point in going on? / Well maybe we could work it out / But I don't wanna see / What would I be giving up / To be living miserably?

So this, as usual at this point 😅 requires a bit of backstory.

I don't recall if I ever talked about this on stream; I think I did, but only once. My ex broke up with me over the phone. We know this. 6 years ended with a phone call that started off continuing to talk about moving in together 🫠 BUT he actually drove to me a day later so we could talk about it because he felt like an ass.

So he picked me up and promptly asked if we could get something to eat because he'd not eaten before leaving, which already felt weird. But we went...and then he wanted to talk before we went in...? Anyway, we talked and I was looking for answers. And in the end, he decided we should in fact not breakup.

I already had a train ticket to get to his place, so a week later, I made that trip. And at the end of it, I realized that when we'd talked, he said he still cared about me. But he didn't say he loved me. And so I asked him about it. Because I deserve to be loved, damnit!

And long story short, we went to a concert he'd bought us tickets to, he drove me home and said he needed space, and two days later broke up with me over the phone. Again. Saying "you deserve to know...I want to give it a shot with this other girl" who he'd met 2 weeks prior in passing and hadn't spoken to since 👍

So anyway, in reflection of that whole debacle, I wrote this bridge. About not wanting to just go through the motions. Not wanting to stay in a relationship just because it's easier. I'd rather be sad for a while about a breakup than spend any amount of time in a relationship that's less than what I deserve. A relationship where I'm treated poorly, or where I spend so much of my time crying, or where I'm just not loved.

Because if I tried to make it work, like I do desperately wanted to, I'd have missed out on all the happiness and all the opportunities that he'd discouraged me from and that came so soon after I was no longer under someone else's thumb 💁‍♀️ And that's not worth giving up 😎