Click Bait: You Deserve Better. (Patreon)

I have a lot of things to say and it'll likely be very stream-of-consciousness, so please bear with me.

I appreciate this community more than words could ever possibly express. You have changed my life in so many ways, and I will be forever grateful.

Today, the second day of my "I am sick and also incredibly burnt out" break, I received a message from someone I have thought of as a friend. I will not name names as it's just not relevant. But it came from someone who has been a part of the community, and that made it hit harder.

The message was not in any way intended to be malicious. I want to make sure that is on the record. They absolutely meant no ill will and were simply sharing their thoughts and opinions.

But by golly if I have ever been so deeply offended by someone's opinion. And not for my sake, but for yours.

See, this message indicated that my community thinks so highly of me as to feel it impossible to disagree with me, including and most importantly, when it comes to my health and streaming. The implication being that my (amazing) community cares more about what they can get from me than they do about my well-being.

AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO OUTRAGED.

First of all, y'all disagree with me all the time 😂 In fact, I have been lovingly called an idiot many times. 😅 (Thanks for that lol) But of what I can recall, when there are disagreements, we simply talk more about the topic, or I just say something to the effect of "yeah...I'm just saying my opinion and you are absolutely allowed to disagree with me. I am not trying to convince you. These are just my thoughts" 🤷‍♀️

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY. They have the AUDACITY to imply you don't care for my well-being? That you don't say anything about when I am clearly pushing myself? THE GALL. The absolute ignorance! The bold faced blindness to objective truth over decided opinion.

HOW DARE. ANYONE. EVER IMPLY. THAT MY COMMUNITY DOESN'T CARE ABOUT MY WELL-BEING.

Anyway...I may have gone to bat for you. I may have thrown the bat directly at the pitcher and, politely 😇, told them to shove it. :)

So I told them the truth. That you all care about me deeply. And you absolutely advocate for my well-being. That you:

• Repeatedly check-in with me when I've indicated feeling off
  
• Set timers to remind me to check-in with myself
  
• Remind me to take my medication
  
• Actively encourage me to take time off/end early as needed
  
• Take your songs out of queue to lessen the load
  
• Found and suggested raid targets
  
• Donated toward goals specifically for me to take time off
  
• Come together to finish goals early so I don't have to worry if/when I need to take some time
  
• Reminded me that my health comes first and it's okay to rest
  
• Reminded me that rest is productive and not "lazy"
  

The list goes on. Because you care more about me and how I'm doing than you do about being entertained by me. Because you care about me, the person, more than me, the streamer. Because you care. And how dare anyone ever try to imply otherwise.

And I ALSO told them: it is 100% up to me and me alone whether and how much I push myself. That is my decision. No one else's. If I am pushing myself, it is because I want to and because I have determined that the pros outweigh the cons.

I don't push myself because I feel obligated. Or because I'm worried about making rent (sometimes, but much less now than 2 years ago 😅 - we built savings into the goals for a reason!). I don't even push myself because I feel like I'm not enough somehow otherwise. Which honestly, I think is another testament to how impactful this community has been in my life, because that would have been reason #1 if it wasn't for all the wonderful people reminding me that my productivity does not determine my worth 🫂❤️

I push myself because I want to. Because I want to hangout with my wonderful community. Because I want to catch up, and chat, and play songs, and laugh. And because as a chronically ill girlie, every single thing I do is a debate of "is this worth it?". "Will this make me feel better, worse, or neither?".

If I feel like crap, I'm going to feel like crap no matter what. And except when it would actively make things worse in the moment, I'd rather be streaming and have a whole community there to brighten my day emotionally and energetically, than be stuck in bed staring at walls, feeling hopeless and self-pitying.

And that is my call to make. And my WONDERFUL community trusts me to make those decisions. On my own. As the fully capable adult human that I am. And they question me to make sure I'm properly thinking it through. But they trust me to decide for myself. Without guilt or pressure. And without trying to assert that they know what's right for me.

So go ahead and think what you want about the CommunityUnmuted. But just know that you are wholly and objectively wrong if you think they don't fight me when I'm being a dummy 💁‍♀️ But they just also trust me and the decisions that I make for myself. Because I am a whole person. Capable of independent thought. And capable of autonomous decision making. And the CommunityUnmuted recognizes that.

THANK YOU.

Now, please excuse me while I continue seething for the next 5 minutes before getting back to my *well-deserved, much needed, and MY DECISION* break 😊👍