Life / Mental Health Update (Patreon)

Hey, so, big wall of text -- this is basically just me trying to explain some stuff I've been dealing with, and how it affects my ability to produce work. Maybe it's too much info, and maybe nobody's particularly interested, but I want to be open about my mental and other health conditions.

So, first and foremost, I have general anxiety that's gotten significantly worse in the past couple years. Depression and anxiety weren't new to me, but I started having panic attacks and a lot of physical symptoms related to anxiety -- hands and feet going ice cold, parts of my face going numb, blurred vision, tight throat, chest pains, feeling like I'm about to die or something terrible is about to happen. As you can imagine, those episodes aren't exactly conducive to creativity. It's pretty paralyzing.

I also have both sleep apnea and recurring insomnia. The sleep apnea I have treatment for, and the insomnia is mostly from the anxiety. But there are periods of time when I don't get restful sleep for days or weeks at a time -- this is actually one of those weeks. It's been a real struggle.

Every week, I aim to get as much art done as I can. Not just because I love to create -- I'm also honored and incredibly grateful to have your support, and so I want to do everything I can to earn it. I've made sure I always get at least one Patreon-timed-exclusive piece done every week, even when I had surgeries -- sometimes it was only a rough sketch, but at least something. But I guess what I'm saying is, I constantly wish I could do more, and I'm sorry that I can't. 

I've been working hard to help myself -- I'm on a strict workout routine, I cut sugar and caffeine, I avoid the stuff that makes my mental health worse and I meditate every night. All of it helps, but it has not yet been able to fix whatever's wrong with me. Maybe it never will, but I'm still trying.

The NSFW piece for this week is partially finished, and I'll make sure I get it done and posted tomorrow. I'll always do everything I can to make good stuff and share it with the world. I just wanted to explain why sometimes I can't. Thank you again so much for your support, as always.